Read it and Weep

It’s finally here. The white whale of a topic, the one we’ve been promising for what feels like decades, Four Weddings! If you haven’t stayed in a hotel recently, here’s what it’s about: four brides are forced to complain at other peoples’ weddings. And it’s delightful.

Joining us is Colleen (who isn’t doing anything awesome on the Internet at the moment, according to her) our favorite reality show junkie. And just like when she talked to us about Hoarders, this is something she actually watches. It’s kindof a guilty pleasure, but also kinda just a pleasure.

And it is for us too. We’ve all got lots of opinions about weddings, and the 12 we watched for this only gave us more opinions.

It’s a tradition in the United States for movie studios to pump out good enough Christmas movies every year. Since ABC Family’s motto is “Good Enough”, they’re no exception.

Desperately Seeking Santa is a half-assed Christmas rom-com from 2011 wherein a cold-hearted business woman is melted by a sexy Santa with abs. For a while you think they aren’t going to get together but then they do! It’s a Christmas miracle.

Thanks to our little Christmas Miracles, newest Meat Buddies Helene Rousset and Keith Anderson. Hope you have a great holiday season whatever you do with it and we’ll see you in two weeks.

Remember childhood? That was fun, right? Except the parts that weren’t? That’s how the 80s cartoon Duck Tales is too.

Based on a reformed Scrooge McDuck and his three great nephews Hewis, Lewis, and Dewis, Duck Tales is a classic mass-produced Disney animated show with 60 episodes in each of its two seasons. It’s really fun if you have nostalgia-colored glasses.

This is the first in our new series of episodes called First Loves where we examine some of our favorite early media. This is Ezra’s First Love and you can hear the love in his voice with everything he says.

The Truth about Charlie is a remake of the 1963 film Charade mashed up with Francois Truffaut’s 1960 film Shoot the Piano Player. If you were guessing that those two movies shouldn’t be mashed up, you were right.

Truth follows the ex-wife(?) of a murdered spy(?) and her new boyfriend(?) a criminal(?). Really, it’s a movie where the audience, the characters, and the film maker were all confused as to what was going on. Starring Mark Wahlberg in a berret.

Thanks to Vicente for sponsoring (I hope this movie’s been taken down a peg now) and Leighann, our newest Meat Buddy. Welcome to Meat Town, everybody!

If you love the Hunger Games, then you must be excited about the final movie! Too bad, because Lionsgate split it in half so you can pay twice as much and get a bunch of filler and an anticlimax! So get ready to half enjoy Mockingjay Part 1

In the future, wars will be fought through child-actors on TV making commercials under duress. Sure, there’s some shooting here and there but mostly it’s just TV. And Catniss, former Hunger Games star, doesn’t like being on TV so she hides in a hole the entire movie (which, again, is only half a movie).

It’s infuriating but it’ll work. And good for them. Hollywood’s been so put upon in recent years with all their record profits. It must be exhausting.

And speaking of profits, thanks a ton to Ken for becoming our newest Meat Buddy! If you want to help keep this zepplin in the water, go to read-weep.com/meatbuddies and join the supporters group!

In the final installment of the Hunger Games trilogy (of books, all movie trilogies are now 15 episodes long), Suzanne Collins brings the revolution in for a landing. But it’s a rocky one if you’re not a fan of weird politics, dumb leaders, and moping teenagers.

Mocking Jay features the climax of the revolution that our hero, Catniss, wasn’t really involved in. And she continues to not be a big part in this one where she’ basically a mascot for one of two incompetent leaders. The other side is using her ex boyfriend as their mascot and the entire war is fought by proxy with these two child figureheads. The side with giant lizard people and hovercraft loses and everything’s fine, if you ignore a bit of PTSD.

It’s fine, really. And at least it’s over and we know the answer to “will they or won’t they?” Now there are just a bunch of movies to watch.

Thanks to Emily and the Baroness Von Moneybags for becoming our newest Meat Buddies!

Few series have the courage to change genres every book. Few dare to have giant cat people keeping humans as slaves. Few have the balls to be read by an angry children’s magician. Pendragon does all this and more.

Black Water by DJ MacHale is the 5th book in the Pendragon series, which follows a couple incompetent children as they bounce around the multiverse fighting a non-specific evil to a draw. It’s weird. Sure, we didn’t read the first 4, but my guess is it still wouldn’t make much sense.

Thanks to Brennan for sponsoring. You can get Brennan’s book Operation Sunroof as a Nook Book.

Disney isn’t the kind of company to let any property go to waste. Not when they can make 10 straight-to-DVD computer animated movies in 15 minutes. Hence Tinkerbell and the 6th sequel Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy.

The former is the nearly unwatchable start to another Disney franchise and the latter is the more enjoyable installment that just came out. Both follow the world of fairies, specifically Peter Pan’s friend Tinkerbell, as they go about the business of creating spring. It’s a bad business model but the fairies seem to like it.

Thanks to Emily for sponsoring this episode and expanding our world. Thanks also to new Meat Buddies Anna and Kyle!

It’s our first ever International Live Show, featuring reviews of two excellent combo movies: Wolf Cop and Teen Witch. Thank you so much to everybody who participated in the chat live with us.

Here’s the video if you’d like to see our pretty faces:

Whenever a great evil was unleashed in the 80s, it seemed the only way to stop them was a rag-tag group of children. The Monster Squad is about one such crisis.

The squad is a group of kids who are obsessed with the Universal Monsters(tm). Wouldn’t you know it, those monsters turn out to be real and the only thing standing between them and world domination would be somebody with an intricate knowledge of their franchises. And a virgin. And a holocaust survivor. That last part is kinda weird.

Thanks to Paul for thoroughly researching his favorite childhood movies and settling on this one! It’s getting nice and spooky up in here!