Referral or placement agents are an information post. Are you in denial over the next chapter of caring for someone you love? Or are you ready? Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements joins Suzanne on the Answers for Elders Podcast for part 2 of their six-part series being prepared for difficult conversations and what comes after.

First, Daphne explains what a referral agent does: "We call ourselves an information post. We are never decision makers. In the whole United States, there's a whole plethora of people just like me who help you gather the information that's pertinent to your state... We we are like a conduit between you, the consumer, and the people who provide housing and care and where the people who know what's going on in this housing and care industry. We find out about you, the unique consumer of what are your highest values, what works for you in this housing and care community, how some of the logistical pieces that work.

"An agent who has your best interest at heart will meet with you. There are some situations that because we're so mobile that we hold Zoom meetings because some of the siblings or the decision makers might be out of state, but usually we try very hard to meet one-on-one. In choosing to work with a placement or referral agent, there's no expense to you. The expense is to the community of care, right? Because we work off of their marketing budget. We are an extension of their community. That doesn't mean we have exclusivity to recommend to 5 to 10 places. A good agent should be working with all communities of care in the state. And based on your highest values, be able to have all of those communities of care as an option for you. At the same time, we function as kind of a clearing house or a person who's doing your vetting. I personally feel after 25 years of doing this job, that there's no way for any consumer to know the real nuts and bolts of a community of care. It's impossible for me to know everything about every community, because there's so many new ones."

As to the best reasons why you should bring in a referral agent, Daphne says, "You need to have the hard conversations. You are the family, but to actually facilitate them and to know how to walk through this is very difficult for family member to family member. And the number one reason is because you have a primary relationship, and that primary relationship usurps everything else. In most situations, mom and dad still stay mom and dad and you're still the child. That's what it comes down to. 'You're not going to tell me what to do. You're not in my head. You’re not here every day. You bounce in four times a year to see us, and you think you know what's going on with us?' Why would you even consider having somebody like me come into this equation? First of all, it doesn't cost you anything. But the primary reason is, you keep your primary relationship. Let the agent be the one who has these hard conversations. We’re the professional, we are the expert. You are not. You might be a nurse, you might be an occupational therapist, you might be a police person, you might have been an EMT, but you are not the expert [in this area]."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

To final a referral agent in your area, visit the National Placement & Referral Alliance website search.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Mentioned in this episode:

Chateau Retirement

Chateau Retirement

Legacy Estate Planning

Legacy Estate Planning