Visit my website:  https://tinyartvillage.com

What If Peace Begins With a Decision?

Have you ever thought, "I'll feel more peaceful when..." When the house is quiet. When the schedule slows down. When the project is finished. When the kids need me less. When that problem is finally resolved. When I have more time.

We can spend a lot of our lives waiting for our circumstances to change before we allow ourselves to slow down. But I've been thinking about something lately. What if creating a little peace in our day begins with a decision?

Now, before I go any further, I want to make an important distinction. As a Christian, I believe real, lasting inner peace comes from Jesus Christ. The kind of peace that settles our hearts, even when circumstances aren't peaceful—that is not something a craft project, a journal, or a quiet cup of cocoa can give us. That peace comes from knowing God, trusting Him, and resting in His presence. But I also believe there is another kind of peace we can intentionally make room for in our everyday lives. It's the peace that comes when we stop rushing for a moment. When we take a breath. When we put down the phone. When we sit at the table and make something with our hands. When we notice something beautiful. When we give ourselves permission to enjoy something without needing it to accomplish anything.

It's not the source of our deepest peace. But it can create a little space in our day to slow down, become aware, and notice what God has already placed around us. And I think that's where this idea of noticing comes in. Because sometimes peace doesn't look like some big, dramatic change in our lives. Sometimes it's a very small moment that we almost miss.

What brings you peace? That's a question I love asking. Not, What fixes everything? Not, What makes all your problems disappear? But... What helps you slow down? What helps you breathe a little deeper? What helps you become present to this moment? Maybe it's a quiet morning. Maybe it's a few stitches on a beautiful piece of fabric. Maybe it's a page in your journal. Maybe it's your favorite color. Maybe it's music. Maybe it's time in God's Word. Maybe it's a walk outside. Maybe it's simply sitting down and making something with your hands. There isn't one right answer. The point is to notice. To notice and be more attentive to the little details created for us in our everyday life that bring an invitation to feel peace.

And here's another question: What would you like to remember this week? I love this question because it changes the way we move through our days. Instead of simply getting through the week, we begin looking for something worth noticing. Maybe it's something funny a child has said. Maybe it's the way the morning light came through your window. Yesterday, I was out walking when I noticed a beam of morning light coming through the trees. It was almost as if someone had placed a spotlight in the middle of the grove, shining down on one particular little patch of trees. And I stopped. I probably could have kept walking and never noticed it. But there it was. And I think that's what I mean when I talk about noticing the ordinary moments.

We all enjoy looking up at the clouds. But have you ever really stopped to look at them? I notice the shadows that move among them. The soft casts of color. And I absolutely love when the sunlight catches the outer edges of the clouds and makes them almost glow. Nothing about the sky has changed because I stopped to look. But my experience of that moment changed because I noticed it. And maybe that's part of what creative calm can be. Not changing everything around us. Just slowing down enough to see what we might otherwise miss. We are all creating a record of our lives. I've been thinking about this a lot. Every day, we're collecting little pieces of our story. A photograph. A recipe. A handwritten note. Something that catches your eye. A color. A song. A journal page. A little piece of artwork. Even a sentence we write down because we don't want to forget it. And that's one of the reasons I love mixed-media art and art journaling. We can take those little pieces and make something from them. Not because we need to create something perfect. But because we're saying: I noticed this. This mattered to me. And I want to remember it.

I think there's something beautiful about that. We're not just making art. We're making a record of being here. And that is one of the gifts of creativity. It teaches us to pay attention. Let's try something fun. Sometime this week, go on a Little Peace Hunt. You don't need any art supplies. Just look for five little moments that give you a sense of peace, beauty, gratitude, or joy. Maybe you see a beautiful flower. Maybe you hear a song. I love hearing the birds in the trees. We have this whippoorwill that comes out at dusk, and when I hear the unique sound that it makes, I'm reminded of an early morning in Branson. Everyone was still asleep. The sun was slowly coming up, and I could hear a whippoorwill singing right outside my kitchen window. So take a moment to notice. Notice if someone makes you laugh that day. Maybe you have a moment when you sense God's presence. Write them down. Take a picture. Or, if you're creative, make a little collage about them. You could call it: Five Little Things I Don't Want to Forget. Or: My Little Pieces of Peace. There's no right way to do it. And there is no wrong way either. You're simply practicing the art of noticing. And you know, this is actually part of the reason I created The Tiny Village Post.

I've always loved the idea of getting something in the mail that isn't a bill or an advertisement. Something that makes you think, Oh, someone thought of me. So each month, I send out a little envelope to the people who have joined. I have so much fun planning and preparing what goes into it. I think of it as an extra ounce of sunshine. ☀️ It's just my little way of sending some encouragement your way and giving you a reason to pause for a minute. You might open it and find something that makes you think... Oh, I needed that today. Maybe it's a reminder to stop and notice what's around you. Maybe it's a little question that makes you think about the stories your mind is telling you—and whether there's a different, more helpful way to look at something. And there are two questions I come back to again and again: What brings you peace? And... What would you like to remember this month? I really love those questions because they're so simple. You don't have to sit down and have a big, deep journaling session. If you enjoy journaling, I'll give you a few thoughts to ponder. Thoughts you can write and think about. I always include an original Tiny print, a 4 x 6 that can be framed, or you could tuck it into your journal. Or, if you are like me, you might just open the envelope and smile. And that's okay, too. Because I think sometimes we don't need another thing to do. Sometimes we just need a little reminder that somebody thought of us. That's really what The Tiny Village Post is about. A little creativity. A little encouragement. A little sunshine in your mailbox. ☀️

And this brings me back to where we started. You don't have to wait for certain events to happen to bring more peace into your life. You can make room for peace now. And I think all of these ways of bringing more peace into your life can also be an opening of the door to feel the deepest peace that is found in Jesus Christ. These little choices throughout your day create space to slow down, notice, create, breathe, pray, and receive the good that's already around all of us each day. So this week, ask yourself: What brings me peace? And then ask: What would I like to remember this week? Don't rush past the answers. Notice them. Maybe write them down. Maybe make something from them. Maybe say a quiet prayer of gratitude. Because these ordinary moments are not interruptions to your life. They are your life. And they are worth noticing. They are worth remembering. And sometimes, all it takes is a little decision to stop long enough to see them. I'm Cathy Freeman, and this is Real Positive Change — The Art of Creative Calm. Keep creating. Keep noticing. And keep making a little room for the peace that matters most.

Visit my website:   https://tinyartvillage.com

Have you ever found yourself thinking about a relationship that didn't turn out the way you hoped?

Maybe it was a friendship that slowly faded.

Maybe someone you cared deeply about stopped reaching out.

Maybe you were always the one sending the text, making the phone call, or asking to get together.

Or maybe you simply realized that the relationship mattered more to you than it seemed to matter to them.

And then...almost without realizing it...your mind quietly asked a question that had nothing to do with the relationship itself.

"What's wrong with me?"

I've discovered that our minds are incredibly quick at connecting those two things.

A relationship changes...

...and somehow we conclude that we must have changed.

Someone becomes distant...

...and somehow we wonder if we're no longer enough.

I don't think we do that on purpose.

I think our minds are simply trying to explain pain.

Today, I want to have an honest conversation about that.

Because I think many of us are answering one of life's biggest questions with the wrong evidence.

In past episodes, I have talked about how emotion comes from the stories that our mind creates. However, not every emotion comes from an unhealthy story. Some emotions are simply the appropriate response to life. Grief is healthy after loss. Sadness is healthy after disappointment. Fear can be healthy when we're in danger. Our emotions are like dashboard lights. They don't necessarily tell us what is wrong, but they tell us something deserves our attention and help.     let's talk today about what we might do when the dashboard lights,, come on. Welcome back. I am Cathy Freeman I am so grateful you're here. Did you know that I have added something wonderful to my Tiny Art Village?     I have a wonderful art group called My ARt Sisters. but I know there are some of you out there who do not enjoy creating art....but enjoy journaling and would love to have some art to add to your journal. That is why I added the Tiny Art Post. You have the use of Creative Reminder library in the grow joy journaling. You connect to us through the Grow Joy journaling class and use the Creative Reminders It's a great way to feel connected. a wondereful way of giving yourself the health benefits of journaling with a fun, easy twist. Now let me ask you, Have you ever noticed that two people can experience the exact same situation...

and walk away with completely different conclusions? Here are two examples:

One woman doesn't get invited to lunch.

She thinks,

"Oh, they probably already had plans."

Another woman experiences the exact same thing and thinks,

"I guess they don't really want me around." Same event.

Different story. ou send a text to a friend.

Hours go by.

Then a day.

No response.

One person thinks,

"She's probably busy."

Another person thinks,

"I must have said something wrong."

Again...

Same event.

Different story.

So what changed?

Not the circumstance.

The meaning each person gave to it. That is what I mean when I say the story our mind creates. I have not been a great journaler in my life. I do write down short ideas and thoughts. But to put down a whole page...that would take me too long and I hate sitting that length of time. but when I use Grow Joy journaling and the Creative reminders, I find that I am able to slow down long enough to notice...to observe what I am feeling and what is happening before I decide what thoughts might comes next. The journaling is wonderful for noticing....because your mind is always telling a story. And I have learned that wisdom is leanring which stories are true, and which ones were written by fear, hurt, loneliness, or insecurity. One thing I've learned is that our brains hate unanswered questions.

If something happens and we don't know why, our mind doesn't like leaving the page blank.

It starts writing.

Sometimes within seconds.

Someone walks past us without saying hello.

Our mind writes,

"They're upset with me." The event didn't create the emotion.

The story did.

That's a powerful truth.

Because if the story creates the emotion...

Then learning to examine the story can change how we experience life. Here's something that has changed the way I think.

Most of the time, we aren't reacting to what actually happened.

We're reacting to what we think it means.

Let's say a friend cancels lunch.

What happened?

Lunch was canceled.

That's all we know.

But our minds don't stop there.

"She's tired of me."

"She likes her other friends better."

"I'm always the one who cares more."

Do you see how quickly we move from facts...

to assumptions...

to conclusions?

Our emotions begin responding to a story THAT may not even be true.

This is where I think we need to be especially careful.

Because after our mind writes the story...

It often writes another one.

IT JSUT KEEPS GOING DEEPER

Before long, we've stopped describing the event...

and we've started describing ourselves.

That's what identity is.   It's the story we believe about who we are. The danger isn't having thoughts.

The danger is believing every thought without asking whether it's true. 

HOW DO WE DO THAT?  WELL FOR ME - Sometimes before I can EVEN BEGIN TO think clearly, I need to calm my nervous system DOWN.    You know I love to create art….art is a wonderful pause button.  Now maybe I need something that is quick and simple  I have used something called EFT tapping—a gentle tapping technique that helps reduce emotional intensity—or something I have taught before and truly love is the calming exercise SSPT eye movements.  You can find a demo on my website un the little cottage titled Village Haven.  Scroll down the page and you will see r DIY Stress release.

What you choose doesn’t matter.  We simply need something that we can do quickly to break the cycle and stop the racing train of emotion and thought.

The first question to ask is What actually happened?

Stick to the facts.

Not the interpretation.

Just the facts.

2nd question is What story am I telling myself?  Basically..what are my thoughts about it?

This is where you become curious instead of critical.  Don’t shame yourself for haing those thoughts…simply say, well that’s interesting. 

Notice the story.

Don't automatically believe it. ask this 3rd question: Is there another explanation?

Maybe there is.

Maybe there isn't.

But asking the question reminds your brain that one interpretation isn't the only possibility.

That small pause creates room for peace. I love positive thinking. but this is more than simply changing your thoughts. The goal isn't to deny reality.

The goal is to stop adding unnecessary suffering by believing stories that haven't been proven true.

Now for the true situations. You have lost a loved one. Grief is healthy after loss. Sadness is healthy after disappointment.

Fear can be healthy when we're in danger.  Just like the car’s dashboard lights that I talked about.  These emotions don't necessarily tell us what is wrong, but they tell us something deserves our attention. There are times when we can give that attention, and then there are times, just like when the car needs a mechanic, we might need a little professional help. And that is how we show love and care for ourselves.

Before we finish today, I want to give you something practical.

How do we actually pause before our mind finishes the story?

For me,  I begin by paying attention to my emotions.  I notice anxiety, sadness, disappointment, anger, loneliness etc.

I don't ignore them.  I don’t shame myself for having them….

I become curious.  I want to know why they are there and what message they are trying to tell me.  I actually ask myself that…

"What is this emotion trying to tell me?" As I said before, not every emotion means we're believing something unhealthy.

If you've lost someone you love, grief is a natural response.

If a relationship ends, sadness is expected.

God never asks us to pretend those things don't matter.

The question isn't whether we should feel them…

The question is:

What do we do with those feelings? For me, the very first step is to take them to our Savior Jesus Christ.

I simply tell him what I am feeling and that I don't really know what to do with all of this emotion. There is something incredibly freeing about admitting our pain instead of pretending we're okay.

We're not stuffing our emotions.

We're saying,

"I don't want to carry this alone anymore."

Then comes the second step.

Sit with the emotion. Now that is a common phrase, you have probably heard it before..

But I think a better way of thinking about it is,  don't sit in the emotion. sit beside it. Why? Because "When I sit in an emotion, it surrounds me. It's all I can see. My hurt begins to tell me who I am and what my future will look like.

But when I sit beside the emotion, I acknowledge that it's there. I don't deny it. I don't stuff it down. I bring it to Jesus. I ask Him to sit with me in it. I listen to what the emotion is trying to tell me, but I don't let it have the final say.

Because I have come to understand that My emotions become something I experience—not something that defines me.”

I don't run from it.

I Don't bury it.

Don't try to distract myself  from it.

I simply acknowledge that it's there and

Give myself permission to grieve.    All the while remembering that "I don't want this experience to decide who I believe I am."

Or…another way of saying it is…

"I don't want this painful moment to become the lens through which I see myself.   After the loss of our daughter.  I took on that identity,    I became known as the woman who lost her daughter.  I didn't realize it then, but grief had quietly become part of how I saw myself.  it was part of my way of describing who I was.

It was a few years but,  I became aware of how tellling people about her in my own introduction was emotionally upsetting for them. I remember seeing the pain on a woman’s face after I told her,  It was in that moment, I remember thinking, I don’t want to be the reason another person feels grief.  I realized I had taken it on as part of my identity….the woman who lost a child.   Aimee will always be part of my story.

Losing her shaped me.

It deepened my compassion.

It changed me forever.

But it isn't the truest thing about me.

The truest thing about me is that I'm a daughter of God.

That loss is something I've experienced.

It isn't who I am.” And it took me a while to truely understand that.

So whatever stage you are in right now, give yourself patience.

Some hurts heal quickly.

Others take years. The goal isn't to rush healing.

The goal is to walk through it with God instead of walking through it alone.

One thing I've learned through my own losses is this:

The pain may not disappear...

but its intensity changes.

What once felt unbearable slowly becomes more bearable.

Not because the loss mattered less.

But because God's grace quietly carried me through one day at a time.

And this is why we need community. Healing was never meant to happen in isolation.

Sometimes we need a friend who simply sits with us.

Someone who listens.

Someone who reminds us that we're loved.

Someone who gently points us back to truth when our own thoughts begin pulling us toward fear.

After Aimee’s death,  I realized that God had actually guided me a year before the accident to specific training in these stress releasing technques that I now share.  They were and are a blessing for our family.   I was blessed with many friends who surrounded us  . Each sending love and compassion. I can remember calling one friend in particular in moments during the day when the grief and pain reached great intensity. She had also experienced the loss of a child many years before us.  It was her experience that gave her understanding and compassion for what I was experiencing.

So, What ever you are going through...yes, it is hard, yes it is painful. But I can promise you from my own experiences, that someday you will be the one listening and offering love and support to someone else who is going through something similar to what you have experienced..

It’s for those reasons I created the Village Haven inside the Tiny Art Village.

It's a quiet place filled with simple practices that help us care for our hearts when emotions feel heavy. when we need a little boost on our own.

for you it may look like journaling. Sometimes it looks like a breathing exercise.

Sometimes it's a creative project that helps us slow down long enough to hear what our heart has been trying to say.

Because healing isn't about making emotions disappear.

It's about learning how to carry them differently.

Your experiences are real.  But none of them need to become part of your identity.

Today remember,

You are deeply loved.

You are seen.

You are cherished.

And. you are never walking through this alone."

Dumping Stress Out of My Backpack.   https://tinyartvillage.com

Sometimes Your Nervous System Just Needs a Moment to Catch Up Hello, friend, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. Welcome back to the Real Positive Change podcast, where we explore the art of creating calm through creativity, community, and encouragement. Before we jump into today's episode, I have something I'm so excited to share with you! This month I'm launching something brand new called The Tiny Village Post—a little snail mail club created to bring a tiny bit of thoughtful encouragement and an extra ounce of love to your mailbox each month. Inside each envelope you'll discover one of my original art prints, a heartfelt letter, a Creative Reminder, a simple journal reflection, and a few tiny surprises designed to help you slow down, reflect, and enjoy a little creative calm. If that sounds like something your heart could use, I'd love for you to come join our little village. You can learn more at TinyArtVillage.com. Now... let's settle in together, take a deep breath, and get started with something that's been on my mind lately... I just recently learned from my mom about a simple breathing practice from Dr. Andrew Huberman, a professor of neurobiology at Stanford University. He talks about something called the physiological sigh—a breathing technique our bodies naturally use to help regulate the nervous system during moments of stress. Isn’t that what we all need? Absolutely Now this is not a magic solution to our stress, nor will one deep breath fix everything. But because sometimes... the first step toward peace is not about changing our circumstances. It's about allowing our bodies to remember what calm feels like. I don't know about you, but life has a way of piling things into our backpacks. You know that emotional stress you feel in your shoulders and back….all the Responsibilities.Deadlines. Not to mention those conversations that didn't actually go the way we hoped. And let’s not forget the worries we carry for the people we love. In that backpack we also stuff those thoughts of "I'll deal with this later”, thoughts that can quietly become very heavy in our mind. And We just keep adding things until we don't even realize how heavy we've become. But others can tell. They hear it in our voice, they feel it when they are in our presence, A heaviness that follows us around. That's actually what inspired this month's Tiny Village Post. Have you heard about my new snail mail letters that I send out? I love sending out encouragement and ….. This August I have created a card with the image of a tiny backpack. A gentle reminder to stop and take notice of what we are carrying. One little reminder that asks, "What have I been carrying that's time to set down?" One of my favorite lines I put on that card is….. "You don't have to carry yesterday into tomorrow.” Think about that. I sure did. How often to I take that frustration that happened the day before and continue to ruminate over it the next day? I think many of us believe that if we just keep carring these things until we can figure them out then eventually we'll feel better. But our nervous systems don't work that way. Our bodies need little moments throughout the day to catch up. To slow down. To unload. To remember that we're safe. That's where this simple breathing practice comes in. Did you listen to one of my past episodes when I spoke about how our nervous system is like a fire alarm? Let me explain what I said….Think of your nervous system like a smoke alarm. When we're under stress, it can become extra sensitive. This breathing technique helps send the message that the immediate danger has passed, allowing your body to begin settling down. The breathing technique is called the physiological sigh. Here's how it works. Take one slow breath in through your nose. But Before you exhale, take one more small sip of air through your nose. Then slowly breathe all the way out through your mouth. Let's do it together. (Breathe.) (Breathe.) Did you notice something? Do you find yourself yawning? That is a sure sign that you are releasing stress. Nothing around you changed. Your to-do list didn't disappear. The people in your life didn't suddenly become easier. But something inside of you shifted. But you gave your body permission to shift out of constant alertness and into a place where calm can begin to return. I love that we are able to do that.. Because isn't that what creativity does, too? When we paint... When we collage... When we slowly stitch... We're giving ourselves permission to pause. We're reminding our minds and bodies that not every moment has to be rushed. That we're allowed to breathe. We're allowed to notice. We're allowed to simply be. What if we began every creative session with one minute of intentional breathing? How cool would that be. Not as another task to accomplish. But as a gift to ourselves. A gentle way of saying, "I'm here now." "I don't have to carry everything into this moment." "I can set my backpack down for a little while.” You know you can always pick it back up….but for just a few short minutes give yourself the gift of putting it down. Imagine how different your day might feel if you paused for just sixty seconds. One breath. One sigh. One quiet reminder that you don't have to keep carrying yesterday into this new day. This week, I'd love to invite you to try something. Before you reach for your phone... Before you begin your work... Before you pick up your paintbrush... Pause. Take two or three physiological sighs. Let your nervous system catch up. Then ask yourself, "What do I want to leave behind today?" Maybe it's worry. Maybe it's something that you have no control over. Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's simply the pressure you've been putting on yourself. Set it down. You can always pick it back up later if you really need to. But my guess is... You won't want to. If you like receiving happy things in the mail. If you like passing along encouragment to others. Think about receving the Tiny Village post…you will find out all about it by typing into your computer, tinyartvillage.com. Thank you for spending these few moments with me today. Remember…Creativity isn't just the result of being calm. Creativity can also become a pathway back to calm. Until next time... Keep creating. Keep growing. And remember... You don't have to carry yesterday into tomorrow.

Have you ever wondered if God is leading you, even when your life feels like a collection of unfinished pieces? In this episode, Cathy shares her personal journey of discovering how God gently weaves together faith, creativity, and emotional wellness over time. If you've ever felt stuck, questioned your purpose, or struggled to trust God's timing, this conversation will encourage you to notice His quiet invitations and take the next faithful step. Visit https://RealPositiveChange.com

For creative inspiration visit my website - https://realpositivechange.com

My conversation today with Roben-Marie Smith was pure joy.  I loved her energy and enthusiasm for "all things creative".    Her work has been an inspiration to me and I hope you enjoy this episode as we discuss letting go of the pressure to make your creativity prove it's worth in this world.  The fact that you are making it, is proof enough.

Visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com

Have you ever wondered what a feeling would look like if you painted it? In this episode, Cathy Freeman explores how art journaling can help women process emotions, reduce stress, build emotional resilience, and renew their minds through creativity and faith. Learn two simple approaches to art journaling: create what you're feeling, or create what you want God to grow in your life. If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted, this episode will help you slow down, notice what's happening within you, and find peace one small step at a time.

Podcast Episode 39

What Does a Feeling Look Like?

Hello, my friend.

Today I'd like to ask you a simple question.

What does a feeling look like?

Not what does it sound like.

Not how would you explain it.

But if you could paint it... collage it... or simply choose a few pieces of paper to represent it...

What would it look like?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I've been creating pages in my art journal.

Sometimes I sit down with my paints and collage papers, and I don't really know what I want to make. I just know there's something going on inside of me.

Maybe I'm carrying disappointment.

Maybe I'm feeling hopeful.

Maybe I'm excited about something new.

Or maybe I just feel unsettled, and I can't quite put words to it.

Have you ever felt that way?

Where you know something is happening inside, but you can't quite explain it?

I think that's one of the beautiful gifts of art.

Sometimes our hands can express what our words cannot.

A few scraps of paper.

A little paint.

A piece of lace.

A stitch or two.

And somehow, without trying to make a masterpiece, we've told the truth about what's happening in our hearts.

But here's something I've also discovered.

There are really two ways we can approach our art journal.

The first is to create from where we are.

Maybe today you're feeling anxious.

Lonely.

Grateful.

Discouraged.

Peaceful.

Whatever you're feeling is welcome on the page.

You don't have to fix it before you create.

You simply notice it.

You give it a place to land.

You let your hands tell the story.

The second way is just as beautiful.

You create from where you want to go.

Maybe you're longing for more peace.

More courage.

More joy.

More patience.

More trust.

You begin filling your page with colors, words, images, and scriptures that remind you of the life you're asking God to grow within you.

Neither approach is more spiritual than the other.

Both are honest.

One says,

"This is where I am."

The other says,

"This is where I believe God is leading me."

And sometimes...

those two pages belong beside each other.

One page tells today's story.

The other tells tomorrow's hope.

You know, one of the things I've learned over the years is that we often try to think our way into peace.

But sometimes we need to create our way into awareness.

As our hands slow down...

our thoughts begin to slow down too.

That's when we start noticing things.

"Why did that conversation bother me so much?"

"Why did my chest tighten?"

"What story am I believing?"

That's where the S.T.O.R.Y. process has become so meaningful to me.

Instead of judging myself for having emotions, I've learned to become curious about them.

What's the situation?

What thought am I believing?

What emotion am I feeling?

How am I reacting?

And what result is that producing?

Those questions aren't there to make us feel guilty.

They're there to help us become aware.

Because awareness gives us the opportunity to choose.

And that's where change begins.

As I work in my journal, I often ask God,

"Show me what You want me to see."

Sometimes He reminds me of a truth I had forgotten.

Sometimes He reveals a fear I didn't know I was carrying.

Sometimes He simply gives me peace.

You know, I don't think God is nearly as concerned about what our pages look like as He is about what happens in our hearts while we're creating them.

The page becomes a place to meet with Him.

A place to slow down.

To listen.

To notice.

To remember that we don't have to carry everything by ourselves.

So the next time you sit down to create, ask yourself one simple question.

Am I creating from what I'm feeling...

or from what I'm hoping God will grow in me?

There isn't a wrong answer.

Maybe today you'll create your fear.

Maybe tomorrow you'll create your courage.

Maybe next week you'll create your gratitude.

Every page becomes another reminder that God is gently shaping you, one small step at a time.

Before we finish today, I'd love to leave you with this thought.

You already have everything you need.

It's within you...

and it's all around you.

Ask God to show you.

Trust your hands.

And let your creativity become a conversation with Him.

Until next time...

keep creating...

keep noticing...

and keep walking with God, one small step at a time.

Visit my website:  https://RealPositiveChange.com

Visit Kim's website:  https://kimpepper.com

There are not show notes due to the fact that this was a live conversation.  You can watch the whole program on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/dQsm72jt6wg

Podcast 37 - Learning to Trust the Woman You Are Becoming

Real Positive Change Podcast

Event is July 13-17,  2026 - ONLINE -  Live Calls @ 4:00 pm Central - Replays

Hello friends, and welcome back to Real Positive Change.

Today I want to talk about something that has been on my heart for quite a while.

Over the past several months, I've become aware of the struggles many women around me are facing. Some have lost their spouse through death. Some are walking through divorce. Others are still married, but life has changed. Their spouse may be dealing with illness, work demands, caregiving responsibilities, or simply unable to carry the added burdens that life has recently presented.

Whatever the reason, these women find themselves carrying more than they ever expected.

And with that comes a flood of thoughts:

"I can't do this."

"This is too much."

"I don't know what to do."

"I have no one to help me."

"How am I going to handle all of this?"

Maybe you've had some of those thoughts yourself.

What strikes me is that the challenge isn't always the situation itself. It's that life has changed, and the woman who used to navigate life in one season is now being asked to navigate a completely different season.

What worked before may not work now.

The routines are different.

The responsibilities are different.

The support systems may be different.

And often this change is unexpected and unwelcome.

Most women naturally ask:

"How do I survive being alone?"

But I don't think that's the question underneath the question.

I think the deeper question is:

How do I trust the woman I am becoming?

Because change, whether we want it or not, creates a new season.

And every new season asks something new of us.

Today's main thought is this:

Keep the strengths that have shaped you. Release the fears that limit you. Trust God as you become the woman this season requires.

I want you to hold onto that thought as we talk today.

Because I believe many women spend so much time mourning who they used to be that they never stop to notice who they are becoming.

Now don't misunderstand me.

Grief is real.

Loneliness is real.

Disappointment is real.

I'm not suggesting we ignore those feelings.

In fact, I think part of healing is allowing ourselves to sit with them.

To acknowledge them.

To honor them.

But not to build a permanent home there.

You can feel grief without becoming grief.

You can feel loneliness without becoming defined by loneliness.

You can miss what was while still moving toward what is next.

That's a difficult balance.

But it is possible.

One of the things I've learned over the years is that there is a difference between being alone and feeling alone.

Being alone is a circumstance.

Feeling alone is an emotional experience.

Many women are surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.

Others spend large amounts of time by themselves and feel deeply connected to God, friends, family, and purpose.

The difference is often found in the stories our mind tells us.

When something difficult happens, our brain immediately begins trying to make sense of it.

And often those thoughts sound like:

"I wasn't prepared for this."

"I can't handle this."

"I don't know enough."

"Everything depends on me."

The problem is that those thoughts create fear.

Not necessarily because they are true.

But because they feel true.

And when we feel afraid, our mind wants to solve everything all at once.

Have you noticed that?

The mind starts racing through next week, next month, next year.

It wants guarantees.

It wants certainty.

It wants a map.

But confidence isn't built by solving your entire future.

Confidence is built by handling today.

One phone call.

One bill.

One doctor's appointment.

One difficult conversation.

One decision.

One next step.

That's it.

And honestly, that's good news.

Because most of us can manage one step.

The problem comes when we try to carry tomorrow, next month, and next year all at the same time.

I often think about a flashlight.

A flashlight doesn't illuminate the entire road.

It illuminates enough for the next few steps.

And that's often how God works.

He gives us enough light for today.

Not because He's withholding something from us.

But because He wants us to walk with Him.

Not ahead of Him.

One of the biggest struggles I see in women during these seasons is trying to figure out what to keep and what to let go of.

They know life has changed.

They know they can't go back.

But they aren't sure what parts of themselves belong in this new season.

Here's what I would say.

Keep your faith.

Keep your compassion.

Keep your kindness.

Keep your creativity.

Keep your resilience.

Keep your wisdom.

Keep your love for others.

Keep your ability to persevere.

Those qualities are part of who you are.

But maybe it's time to release some things too.

Maybe it's time to release the belief that you have to do everything alone.

Maybe it's time to release the idea that asking for help is weakness.

Maybe it's time to release the belief that your worth comes from how much you do for everyone else.

Maybe it's time to release the need to have all the answers before taking action.

You see, many of the strategies that protected us in one season become burdens in another.

And that's okay.

We don't have to criticize the woman we've been.

She got us here.

She carried us through hard things.

She did the best she could with what she knew.

We can thank her.

And then gently release what is no longer needed.

Another thing I want to mention is that healthy thoughts are not the same as positive thinking.

Healthy thoughts are realistic thoughts.  They are faith driven thinking.

For example:

Instead of saying,

"I can't do this,"

you might say,

"I haven't done this before, but I can learn."

Instead of,

"I'm all alone,"

you might say,

"I feel alone right now, but I am not without support."

Instead of,

"I have to figure out the rest of my life,"

you might say,

"I only need enough light for today."

Do you feel the difference?

These thoughts don't deny reality.

They simply create room for courage.

And courage is often what we need most.

The truth is, trust isn't built through certainty.

Trust is built through evidence.

Every difficult conversation you handle.

Every challenge you survive.

Every new skill you learn.

Every obstacle you overcome.

You are collecting evidence.

Evidence that says:

"I can trust myself to figure things out."

And more importantly:

"I can trust God to meet me here."

One of the deepest fears women carry is the question:

"What if I don't have what it takes?"

But God never asked us to be self-sufficient.

He asks us to walk with Him.

His promise was never that the road would be easy.

His promise was that we would not walk it alone.

And that changes everything.

Before we finish today, I want to share something exciting.

For those of you listening close to the release of this episode, I'm going to be hosting a special online creative retreat called Tiny Book of Becoming: One Small Step at a Time.

It's a five-day creative retreat where we'll create a beautiful tiny book together.

Each section of the book helps us notice the ways we are growing, learning, trusting, and becoming.

It's really going to be an artful journwey

A chance to slow down, reflect, create, and collect evidence of God's faithfulness in our lives.

If today's message resonates with you, I think you'll absolutely love it.

I'll share the details in the show notes.

As we close, I want to leave you with this thought:

You may not be where you want to be yet.

But don't overlook how far you've come.

The woman you are becoming may feel unfamiliar.

But unfamiliar does not mean incapable.

You are not starting from nothing.

You are building on a lifetime of faith, wisdom, resilience, creativity, and experience.

Keep the strengths that have shaped you.

Release the fears that limit you.

Trust God as you become the woman this season requires.

One day.

One decision.

One faithful step at a time.

Until next time, take good care of yourself, and remember, real positive change happens one thought, one choice, and one small step at a time.

The Space Between Shame and Blame

The House I've Been Living In

Have you ever noticed how quickly we judge ourselves when we're struggling?

We tell ourselves we're doing life wrong.

We should be happier.
We should be stronger.
We should have figured this out by now.

Or we move in the opposite direction and start blaming someone else.

If only they had changed.
If only life had been different.
If only circumstances had worked out another way.

When we are hurting, our mind naturally wants an explanation.

Blame points outward.

Shame points inward.

But there is a third place we can stand.

A place right in the middle.

And that place is curiosity.

In the middle, we still take ownership of our choices, but we stop making ourselves the problem.

We set ourselves free.

Because there is nothing wrong with you as a person.

There is nothing wrong with feeling lonely.

Nothing wrong with feeling exhausted.

Nothing wrong with feeling disappointed.

Nothing wrong with feeling afraid.

Your feelings are not evidence that you are failing.

They are information.

They are invitations to pay attention.

Most of us learned ways of thinking, reacting, coping, protecting, pleasing, achieving, withdrawing, controlling, or caretaking because those things served us.

The way you've been doing life has been useful.

It has gotten you this far.

It has protected you.

It has helped you survive difficult seasons.

So when you begin noticing patterns that no longer serve you, there is no need to attack yourself.

You don't need more shame.

You don't need another self-improvement project.

You don't need another thing on your to-do list.

The invitation is simply to become curious.

Instead of asking:

"What's wrong with me?"

Ask:

"What story am I living from right now?"

That's a very different question.

Because now we are not looking for a problem.

We are looking for understanding.

I often think about it this way.

I love the woman I have been up until now.

She has carried me through difficult seasons.

She has shown up when things were hard.

She has done the best she could with what she knew.

But life changes.

Seasons change.

Needs change.

And eventually we have to ask:

Who do I want to become now?

Not because who I've been is wrong.

But because life is inviting me into something new.

And that's where fear often shows up.

Because the version of you that has gotten you this far has worked very hard.

She has protected you.

She has developed habits and ways of thinking that have served you well.

And she will be afraid to let go.

The challenge isn't becoming a completely different person.

The challenge is letting go of the parts that no longer fit.

Not all of her.

Just parts of her.

And that's scary.

Which is why observation is so important.

Instead of saying:

"I'm doing this wrong."

Try saying:

"I see that I've done it this way in the past."

"I wonder what would happen if I tried something different."

Do you feel the difference?

One creates shame.

The other creates possibility.

One closes the door.

The other opens it.

So rather than becoming the judge of your life, become the observer of your life.

Become curious.

Become the detective.

Like Sherlock Holmes, begin gathering clues.

Observe your thoughts.

Observe your reactions.

Observe your feelings.

Ask yourself:

What am I believing right now?

What am I afraid might happen?

What am I trying to protect?

What need am I trying to meet?

Because underneath every reaction is usually a story.

And stories are discovered in layers.

Not all at once.

Layer by layer.

Which is why creativity can be such a beautiful companion in this process.

Creative Exercise:

The House I've Been Living In

This isn't a project to finish.

This isn't a project to do perfectly.

This is an ongoing conversation with yourself.

Begin with a journal page, watercolor paper, or mixed media paper.

Start by adding a layer.

Torn paper.
Paint.
Tissue paper.
Book pages.

Anything you like.

Then draw several horizontal lines across your page.

Let them gently rise and fall like rolling hills.

Imagine they are pathways moving through your life.

Choose one line.

Somewhere along that path draw a simple house.

Nothing fancy.

Just a roof.
A door.
A few windows.

This house represents the person you have been up until now.

The house you've been living in.

Around the house, write words that describe who you've been.

Caretaker.

Strong.

Responsible.

Independent.

People pleaser.

Helper.

Provider.

Creative.

Anxious.

Organized.

Whatever feels true.

As you look at the house, remember:

This is not a house to criticize.

This is a house to honor.

It got you here.

It served a purpose.

It provided shelter.

It protected you.

Then continue drawing along your path.

Add trees.

Lots of trees.

Tall trees.
Short trees.
Skinny trees.
Crooked trees.
Strong trees.

Place them all along your rolling hills.

As you draw each tree, simply pause.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Notice what thought, memory, feeling, or word comes to mind.

Then write it beside the tree.

Don't overthink it.

One word is enough.

A phrase is enough.

A question is enough.

Maybe a tree says:

Fear.

Maybe another says:

Lonely.

Maybe another says:

Loved.

Maybe one says:

Tired of carrying everything.

Maybe another says:

What do I want now?

There is no right answer.

The trees simply become markers along the path.

Moments of awareness.

Moments of observation.

Moments of pause.

And here's the important part:

You do not need to finish the page.

In fact, I hope you don't.

Leave room.

Come back tomorrow.

Add another tree.

Add another word.

Add another path.

Add another layer.

Because the story isn't discovered all at once.

The story reveals itself slowly.

Just like life.

One layer at a time.

One tree at a time.

One question at a time.

And as you walk this creative path, notice that you are no longer standing in the boxing ring of shame and blame.

You are standing in curiosity.

You are standing in compassion.

You are standing in grace.

And from that place, you can begin creating the next version of yourself—not because there is something wrong with you, but because there is still more of you waiting to be discovered.

This would pair beautifully with your closing thought:

"Art gives us a place to observe our story without having to defend it. It calms our nerves and allows the deepest changes to happen.