Real Positive Change - Faith • Creativity • Mindful Awareness

The Emotion of Worry — Learning to Release Control and Choose Trust


Welcome to Real Positive Change. I’m Cathy, and today we’re talking about something most of us know far too well — worry.

Maybe it’s worrying about your children, your health, your finances, or whether you’re doing enough as a mom, spouse, or friend. Worry feels like caring — and it is — but left unchecked, it quietly drains your energy, clouds your judgment, and prevents you from showing up fully.


In this episode, we’ll explore:
Why worry becomes such a natural default.
What happens in the brain when we worry.
How to coach ourselves and use journaling to redirect worry.
The surprising connection between worry and energy — including the Power vs. Force map.
How to release worry in conversation without being toxic.
By the end, you’ll see worry in a new light and have practical ways to shift from fear-driven action to trust-driven action.


“Hello, and welcome! Today, we’re diving into one of the most common human experiences: worry. Whether you’re thinking about your family, your work, or just life in general, worry can sneak in and drain your energy. For those of you who are mothers…From the moment you know you’re carrying a child, worry often comes with the package. It’s the unknown, the responsibility, the desire to keep someone safe and happy. It feels like love.

But here’s the catch: worry isn’t actually productive. It’s a low-energy, murky state that slows thinking, drains creativity, and keeps us spinning in fear.
Example: You watch your teenager leave for their first solo activity. You might catch yourself thinking,
“What if they make a mistake?”
That worry triggers tension, adrenaline, and mental loops — and yet, it doesn’t actually protect them.
Worry is an attempt at control — a way the brain tries to create safety when it doesn’t have certainty.

Neuroscience shows that worry isn’t just emotional — it’s physical. It’s tied to the brain’s Default Mode Network, or DMN.
[Pause]
The DMN is the system that runs when our brain is “resting,” yet thinking about ourselves or the future. Worry, rumination, and mental rehearsal live here.
When the DMN stays active — which often happens because we’ve trained it to cycle through anxious thoughts all day — it interferes with sleep, slows emotional recovery, and keeps us stuck in fear.
Research shows:
Strong Default Mode Network connectivity before sleep predicts poorer sleep and lower rest efficiency (Li et al., 2023).
Mindfulness, reflective journaling, and cognitive reappraisal reduce DMN activity and improve emotional regulation (Farb et al., 2007; Brewer et al., 2011).
So worry isn’t “just overthinking.” It’s a state your brain has learned — and it can be retrained.


This is where coaching and journaling come in.
Using the S.T.E.A.R. model — Situation, Thought, Emotion, Action, Result — we can pause worry and redirect our brains:
Example:
Situation: My son is at school.
Thought: “I’m worried he’ll make a mistake.”
Emotion: Anxiety.
Action: I overthink or text him unnecessarily.
Result: I feel drained.
[Pause 1 sec]
Coaching step:
“It’s okay not to know. God is with him. I can replace worry with trust.”
That moment of awareness trains your brain to regulate, redirect, and release — essentially rehearsing calm before sleep.


Here’s something fascinating that ties both science and energy together.
Dr. David Hawkins, in his book Power vs. Force, mapped human emotions on a scale from zero to a thousand — showing how each feeling carries an energetic strength that influences our ability to think clearly and create solutions.
On his scale, the energy of FEAR sits at 100. Years ago, A colleague and I took this scale and added the other emotions that we typically deal with. Worry sits around 85, which is in the range of Fear.
When we’re in fear or worry, our energy contracts. Our mind goes into protection mode, and that means we can’t access the higher, creative parts of our brain.
It’s like trying to solve a problem while your house alarm is blaring — you can’t think clearly until the alarm turns off.
Hawkins discovered that at an energy level of 200 — the level of Courage — the entire system shifts.
Below 200, we’re reacting, resisting, or trying to control.
Above 200, we begin responding with curiosity, confidence, and faith.

That’s exactly what happens when we coach ourselves. We raise the energy from fear to courage.
We stop forcing solutions and start accessing power — the kind that comes from trust, peace, and clarity.
So if worry is your default, notice that it’s not just emotional — it’s energetic.
You’re operating from an energy that’s too low to see possibility.
The goal isn’t to eliminate worry completely. It’s to raise your energy just enough — through journaling, coaching, or even repeating a Creative Reminder — so that your brain opens up to see new solutions.
Because only from that level — from Courage and above — can your mind start to think in possibilities instead of problems.

At night, your brain needs cues to rest. Even after coaching yourself, it benefits from gentle signals:
Calm the Body:
4-7-8 breathing
Warm tea or magnesium drink
Dim lights, no screens
Quiet the Mind:
Reflective journaling of accomplishments and gratitude
Creative Reminder reflection (“I rest knowing all is working for good.”)
Prayer or meditation
Coach Your Thoughts:
Mini S.T.E.A.R. check to reframe lingering worry into trust
Ritual of Release:
Place hand over heart: “I release the day.”
Visualize handing worries to God.

Sometimes we need to “dump” mental clutter. But we can do it without making it heavy for someone else.
Healthy Guidelines:
Ask for permission: “Can I talk this out for a few minutes?”
Set boundaries: 5–10 minutes
Name the emotion: “I feel uneasy because I can’t control the outcome.”
End with grounding: “Thank you for listening — I’m releasing this now.”
Use a Creative Reminder to finish
For the listener:
Stay grounded
Listen without fixing
Reset with breath or prayer afterward
Good listening is a mirror, not a sponge.

Worry feels like action, but it’s really the mind trying to regain control.
Coaching yourself moves you from worry-driven action → wisdom-driven action.
Let me leave you with one of my Creative Reminders, 561. Worry is not my partner. I am awakening to the understanding that all choices have consequences. The freedom to choose is both a privilege and a responsibility — one I accept with God as my guide.  (A shorter version:  I release worry and embrace the freedom to choose wisely, with God as my guide.).
Use this Creative Reminder to Pause, reflect, and intentionally choose courage and trust.
Tonight, notice one worried thought. Ask:
“How can I raise my energy? How can I see the possibilities?”
A short Creative Reminder to think of right before bed:
“Peace is

Thank you for listening. Remember, your mind learns calm all day long — so give it the practice of peace, and your brain, body, and heart will follow.

Welcome back to Real Positive Change. Today we’re talking about something that often hides behind well-meaning smiles — toxic positivity. We’ve all heard phrases like: “Just stay positive.” “Good vibes only.” “Everything happens for a reason.” While those phrases might sound uplifting, sometimes they actually create more pressure, shame, and emotional disconnection than peace. So let’s unpack this together — what toxic positivity really is, why it’s harmful, and how we can cultivate something healthier — a hope that is honest and grounded in faith. DEFINING TOXIC POSITIVITY Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult things get, we should only have positive thoughts and emotions. It’s the idea that feeling sad, angry, or fearful means you’re doing something wrong — or that you’re lacking faith. But here’s the truth: emotions aren’t sinful — they’re signals. They tell us something about what we’re thinking, believing, and experiencing. When we shut them down or shame ourselves for feeling them, we disconnect from our own humanity and from the comfort that God wants to give us. WHY IT’S HARMFUL When we deny or minimize emotions, we actually create more suffering. We might say things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” “I have so much to be grateful for — I need to snap out of it.” But instead of lifting us up, those thoughts add layers of guilt and isolation. We stop being honest with ourselves, and that honesty is what allows healing. It’s not faith to pretend everything is fine — faith is bringing everything that’s not fine to God. HEALTHY HOPE VS. TOXIC POSITIVITY Healthy hope doesn’t deny pain — it makes room for it. It sounds more like: “This is really hard — and God is still here.” “I’m scared — and I’m also trusting.” That one small word, AND, changes everything. It bridges our humanity with God’s divinity. It allows us to hold truth and trust at the same time. That’s the kind of hope that renews our mind and strengthens our spirit. This is where the S.T.E.A.R. model comes in — a powerful tool to help us see what’s really creating our emotions. It stands for: Situation → Thought → Emotion → Action → Result The situation itself doesn’t cause how we feel — our thoughts about it do. When we change our thoughts, we shift the emotion that follows. And from that new emotion, we act differently and create new results in our lives. This isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about choosing thoughts that open our hearts to God’s power rather than closing it with fear or discouragement. A PERSONAL STORY There was a time in my life when this truth became very real for me. I was in a long, emotionally draining season — caring for someone who was deeply broken. Each morning, I woke up with the same thought: “I have to face this all over again today.” That single thought would drain me before the day even began. One morning, as I prayed for strength, I felt prompted to begin saying something different — before my old thoughts could even start. The phrase that came to me was simple: “This is going to be a great day.” So the next morning, the moment my eyes opened up, I began saying it over and over — almost like a cheer welcoming in the sunlight. Did my situation change? No. But I changed. That one phrase lifted my emotional energy. It helped me start the day with hope instead of dread. Through that choice, I was saying to God, “I am open for You to fill me.” It wasn’t denial — it was spiritual alignment. It was choosing to let my thoughts create an emotion of faith rather than fear. When I look back, I see that I had walked right through the S.T.E.A.R. model: Situation: I was overwhelmed and exhausted. Thought: “I can’t face this again today.” Emotion: Hopelessness and fatigue. Action: Wanting to avoid. Result: More exhaustion and disconnection. But when I changed the thought to, “This is going to be a great day,” my emotion became hope and courage. My action changed — I got up, I moved forward, and my result was renewed strength. That’s not toxic positivity — that’s faith in action. It’s the practice of choosing a thought that invites God’s power into the moment. THE TAKEAWAY — THE “AND PRACTICE” Here’s your takeaway for today — something simple you can put into use right away: When you find yourself overwhelmed or discouraged, practice the “AND” statement. Say to yourself: “This is hard… and I’m learning to trust.” “I feel sad… and I know God is near.” “I’m tired… and I can still choose a thought that renews my hope.” The AND Practice helps you stay emotionally honest while keeping your heart open to God’s renewing power. SOULFUL SEED If today’s conversation spoke to you — if you’re ready to practice this kind of honest hope and emotional renewal — I’ll be offering a free one-hour coaching class called “Unplug from Holiday Stress.” November 11. 2025. Go to https://realpositivechange.com/freecoaching It’s a gentle space to reset your emotional energy and learn how to move from stress to strength using creative journaling and faith-based tools. I’ll be sharing more details soon, but I wanted to plant that seed — because this kind of restoration is possible for you. Remember, emotional awareness is not weakness — it’s wisdom. And choosing a faithful thought is not denial — it’s strength. You can feel deeply and still rise with hope. You can grieve and still experience joy. You can face stress and still stay grounded in peace. That’s what it means to live Real. Positive. Change.

Welcome to Real Positive Change, where faith, creativity, and emotional renewal come together. I’m your host, Cathy Freeman — helping women move from stress to strength through art, mindset, and God-centered living.

Today’s episode is called “When Words Become Energy: The Real Power of Affirmations.” Here’s what you’ll discover in this episode: Why words are not neutral — and how the language you use shapes your emotions and your energy.

The science behind affirmations — how your words literally rewire your brain. WORDS ARE NOT NEUTRAL Let's start by saying that words are not neutral. They’re not just sounds or letters — they’re energy. Think of them as seeds planted in the soil of your mind. Every word you speak, especially to yourself, becomes a signal your brain takes seriously. If the seeds are fear or self-doubt, you grow anxiety and burnout. If the seeds are peace and confidence, you grow stability and creativity. When someone says, “I believe in you,” your chest lifts, your breathing deepens.

When someone says, “You always mess things up,” your energy drops. That’s not just emotion — that’s neurology. Your brain processes words as real experiences. Recently, I was helping a family member through something difficult. And even the word “heavy” — as I said it — tightened my shoulders and shortened my breath. But when I shifted to, “This is a meaningful responsibility. God is with me in this. I am guided and capable,” something changed. The situation didn’t — but I did. That’s the power of affirmations: they don’t deny reality — they redefine how we meet it. They transform heavy into holy. They turn fear into faith — one word at a time. There’s a growing field of research in neuroplasticity — the idea that your brain can change and grow new pathways throughout your life. Every thought is like an electrical spark. When you repeat a thought — “I can’t handle this” or “I’m learning to take one step at a time” — you strengthen that neural pathway.

Language literally shapes your brain. Studies in psycholinguistics show that what you say to yourself doesn’t just describe your world — it creates it. And science confirms this: Affirmations activate the brain’s reward and motivation centers. They calm the threat response, lowering cortisol — your stress hormone. And they make you more resilient to stress over time. So yes, affirmations are not just “positive talk.” They’re brain training. When you speak words of truth and love to yourself, your body relaxes and your focus strengthens. That’s the biology of faith in action.

Let’s do a short reflection together. Close your eyes if you can. Think of a situation that feels heavy right now. Notice the word that describes it — maybe overwhelming, lonely, or hopeless. Now take a slow, deep breath… And ask yourself: What’s a higher word I could use instead?

Maybe overwhelming becomes stretching me. Lonely becomes a sacred pause. Hopeless becomes a work in progress. Heavy becomes holy. Feel the shift. That’s not imagination — that’s your nervous system responding to higher-frequency language.

Inside my Real Positive Change framework, I teach the S.T.E.A.R. Model — Situation, Thought, Emotion, Action, Result. Most people try to change their actions without ever changing the thoughts behind them. But your thoughts are the bridge between emotions and outcomes. That’s where affirmations become powerful. They help you re-pattern thoughts so you can shift emotions, actions, and results. This is also why I created the Creative Reminders Library — a collection of affirmations organized by emotion and energy. They’re words you can hold, display, and return to — daily invitations to peace, courage, and alignment.

Affirmations aren’t about pretending everything’s perfect. They’re about choosing which direction you want your thoughts to grow. They: Interrupt negative loops. Feed your subconscious healthy language. Raise your emotional frequency over time. When you say, “I’m not enough,” your body lives in that story. But when you say, “I’m learning and becoming stronger every day,” your brain literally rewires toward peace and resilience.

Take a deep breath. Now say — out loud or silently — “I am safe. I am supported. I am becoming the woman I was created to be.” Pause. Feel that. Now say — “I don’t have to have it all figured out. I’m taking one peaceful step at a time.” That small ease you feel? That’s your nervous system relaxing into truth. Start with your current thought. Then flip it gently. Example: “I’m always behind” → “I’m learning to move at a pace that supports me.” “I’m not enough” → “I’m growing into more of who I am.” Keep it believable. Feel it emotionally. Repeat it often — write it, or create an art card reminder.

Small, consistent repetition creates new mental wiring. That’s how you make real positive change. So today, remember: Words are energy. What you say to yourself can either drain your peace or restore it. Affirmations are an act of faith — a way of creating from the inside out. Pair them with your S.T.E.A.R. journaling and Creative Reminder cards. And watch your emotional energy rise — one sentence, one brushstroke, one moment at a time.

Many women are running on fumes — stretched thin, burned out, and downplaying what they’ve experienced just to make it through the day. Over time, we’ve learned to adapt to stress, making it feel “normal” to live in survival mode. But what if there’s another way — a way to feel calm, creative, and fully alive again? In this episode of Real Positive Change, we explore how chronic stress affects not only your emotions but also your physical health and spiritual peace. You’ll discover: * Why do so many women in midlife feel constantly “on edge.” Learn how your body adapts to stress, fear, and anxiety — and why these patterns can make exhaustion feel “normal.” * How emotional adaptations become habits that hold us back. We’ll talk about the hidden ways we protect ourselves from discomfort — by overworking, staying busy, or avoiding connection — and how to gently release those patterns. * A new way to think about healing. Instead of trying to “fix what’s broken,” you’ll learn to ask, “How much more alive could I be?” — and open to possibility, curiosity, and growth. * The S.T.E.A.R. Model: a simple tool for emotional awareness. You’ll see how shifting your thoughts and emotions can change your results — helping you move from stress to strength, and from chaos to calm. * How creativity and faith work together to restore peace. Discover why art, journaling, and reflection aren’t just hobbies — they’re sacred tools that help you reconnect with God’s peace and your divine rhythm.

https://realpositivechange.com/freecoaching