Real Talk With Amiri

You’ve probably heard things like this: Men get turned on at the slightest provocation and are ready to have sex anytime, anywhere, while women tend to want sex less often and have to be “in the mood.” For years, that’s been the widespread belief: Men just have higher sex drives than women.

Research has often been cited to back up the idea that, perhaps because of their higher testosterone levels, men think more about sex, seek it more actively, and get turned on more easily. Men’s sexuality is like an on-off switch, while women’s sexuality is a complicated network of connections. Right?

Actually, no.

Other research – along with an evolving understanding of sexuality, gender, and desire – are telling us that sex drive doesn’t fit neatly into columns labeled “male” and female.”

“Not only is the idea that men have higher sex drives an oversimplified notion, but it’s really just not true,” says Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and the author of Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships.

Many Influences

“Our social norms and the ways we’re raised to either lean into our sexuality or repress it have a huge impact on how we experience our sexuality and how we report it in studies,” Hunter Murray says. “People raised as men in our society have been typically given more permission to speak openly about wanting sex, while young women have often been told not to express their sexuality.”

Justin Garcia, PhD, executive director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, agrees.

“Our sexual interest is driven by many factors, including not only biology, age, and use of medications, but also by situation – for both men and women,” he says. “Sexual attitudes are affected significantly by societal and religious attitudes. If you’ve been told that expressing your sexuality is bad, over time that will impact your sense of whether you should be doing it or not.”

And those messages may have influenced the research that has been telling us men want sex more than women.

Throw on your favorite sitcom, head to the movie theater or pick up a classic piece of literature, and you’ll find recurring motif: all these couples dance away “happily ever after.” Even scrolling through your social media feeds can have you wondering, “Is my relationship normal?” especially when it comes to sex and intimacy.

er, and those who had sex less than once a week reported feeling less fulfilled.

“Normal” is whatever feels fulfilling for you and your partner, and communication plays a key role in making sure both parties feel fulfilled.

The Importance of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is vital in any relationship, and not just for the sensual pleasure of it all.

“Closeness and connection is a human need,” explains Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist. “When in a long-term relationship it's important to reconnect through sex. The brain chemicals released during sex further enhances bonding.”

Levkoff concurs, adding that sex doesn’t always have to be limited to intercourse, either. Physical intimacy — including cuddling, oral and manual stimulation and sharing of sexual fantasies — contribute to this bonding. At the end of the day, the focus shouldn’t be on hitting a “magic number,” but rather on meeting the needs of both partners and bonding through intimacy as a couple.

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Scientifically Proven Sources of Sex Appeal

Beards, scars, red clothes, and other secrets of attraction

By Ben Healy Luci Gutiérrez SEPTEMBER 2019 ISSUE

Hot or not? The question of whom we’re attracted to and why has long confounded humankind’s greatest philosophers, scientists, and reality-show contestants.

Scads of studies suggest that those of us looking for Mr. or Ms. Right may actually be looking for Mr. Facial Symmetry or Ms. Ideal Waist-to-Hip Ratio (about 0.7 for women). [1, 2] But other research suggests that whether a trait is attractive depends on the type of connection you’re looking for. For example, women in one study found men with facial scars more appealing than other men for short-term relationships, but not for long-term ones. [3] In another study, men with beards had an edge among women seeking long-term relationships—a finding that might give clean-shaven guys with scars an idea about how to turn a one-night stand into something lasting. [4] (If all of this sounds heteronormative, it is: Almost all research on attraction involves straight people.)

Should two people seek lasting happiness, they may want to define the relationship, especially if they’re already friends. As any Harry or Sally can tell you, while women often mistake males’ indications of sexual interest for expressions of friendliness, men consistently mistake females’ expressions of friendliness for sexual interest. [5–7] This might help explain why men are more likely to report attraction toward opposite-sex friends than are women. [7] Further complicating matters, University of Virginia and Harvard researchers found that women were most attracted to men whose level of interest in them was ambiguous. [8]

Science has shown that there are indeed turn-offs when it comes to finding the opposite sex attractive and desirable. If a “picture is worth a thousand words,” studies that have taken photographs of one group of participants and shown the images to other participants reveal hidden and intriguing perceptions.

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In the generation where having a two parent household is as rare as seeing a unicorn, let's shine some light on the hardest working group of people: single mothers. Coming from a household where my mother was the only provider, I have personally gotten to see how much work it takes to raise children on your own. As of 2014 roughly 66 percent of African-American children are raised in a single-parent household. The statistics are the harsh realities for most African American children. The underlying question is why?

The only answer I have been able to fathom, about the outrageous odds of actually having a two parent household in the black community, is that there is no self love within our community. In a society where the odds are put against African Americans already, there needs to be a change to the black family and roles. There are entirely too many single, black mothers forced to raise children on their own.

Most crimes in the black communities are stemmed from the environment. Like anyone, if you are forced into an environment, you will do what needs to be done to adapt and survive. In areas where most of the community is living below poverty, crimes are more likely to occur.

Children are a reflection of their parents and how they were raised, and sometimes being a single mother can make it difficult to positively raise your children. In cases where single moms are forced to work 40+ hours per week in order to give their children the best they can, children may not have the proper guidance. This situation happens entirely too much, and can cause children to veer into harsh environments, like gang banging and selling drugs. Leading to another black male on the streets, in jail, or dead.

For black mothers it is a struggle to raise boys into men without an actual man in their presence. Every child deserves the love of their father, especially boys. Without the needed guidance in their life, the cycle of the black community will never change. It takes a village to raise a child, and in order to continue to raise children who may become the next Barack or Michelle Obama, we need to rebuild our village.

So what exactly needs to be done? Changes.

Us as a community need to know the meaning of love.

Self love, love for each other, and love of our culture.

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You Decide...

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I think we are...

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Real Talk With Amiri Tuesday Trending Topics 6 Year Old Shooter

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Dream of a university lecturer When you saw a lecturer in college, this dream symbolizes the skills you need. You may notice that there is someone important to you or someone you need to listen to so you can take the right steps.
Schools, Colleges and Universities

Uncover Hidden Dream Meanings
The meaning of this dream is clear: you need to move forward in your life, to learn new abilities and skills that will help you grow as an adult.

If you see an image of a school or you are involved in school life, this indicates that you may be learning how to handle the people around you in the waking life. Generally, a school often appears when you are contemplating whether to take a course of action.

In your dream you may have

• Found yourself in your dream back at college, university or school.
• Sat in a classroom.
• Been in an unfamiliar school or boarding school.
• Had to take an exam without any preparation.
• Encountered the inability to answer questions from the teacher.
• Being asked to say out loud the answer in the classroom when you do not know the answer.
• Walking into school to teach others.
• Being unable to communicate with other students due to a lack of preparation.
• An inability to communicate or answer any questions.
• Failed an assignment or exam.
• Passed your final exams and you are celebrating.
• Been encouraging another person to learn.
• Been part of a group of students.
• Been sitting in assembly.

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“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1, KJV) TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria The Bible says that faith gives substance to the things you hope for. In other words, faith brings those things into your life.

Where does faith come from? Faith is not something we conjure up on our own, nor is it something we are born with, nor is faith a result of diligence in study or pursuit of the spiritual. Ephesians 2:8-9 makes it clear that faith is a gift from God, not because we deserve it, have earned it, or are worthy to have it. It is not from ourselves; it is from God. It is not obtained by our power or our free will. Faith is simply given to us by God, along with His grace and mercy, according to His holy plan and purpose, and because of that, He gets all the glory.

Why have faith? God designed a way to distinguish between those who belong to Him and those who don’t, and it is called faith. Very simply, we need faith to please God. God tells us that it pleases Him that we believe in Him even though we cannot see Him. A key part of Hebrews 11:6 tells us that “he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” This is not to say that we have faith in God just to get something from Him. However, God loves to bless those who are obedient and faithful. We see a perfect example of this in Luke 7:50. Jesus is engaged in dialogue with a sinful woman when He gives us a glimpse of why faith is so rewarding. “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” The woman believed in Jesus Christ by faith, and He rewarded her for it. Finally, faith is what sustains us to the end, knowing that by faith we will be in heaven with God for all eternity. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:8-9).


According to the Bible, faith is essential to Christianity. Without demonstrating faith and trust in God, we have no place with Him. Most people have a vague, disjointed notion of who God is but lack the reverence necessary for His exalted position in their lives. These people lack the true faith needed to have an eternal relationship with the God who loves them. True faith goes beyond a simple acknowledgement of God’s existence (James 2:19) to a life-changing reliance on who God is, as revealed in the Bible. Faith can falter at times, but, because it is the gift of God, given to His children, He provides times of trial and testing in order to prove that our faith is real and to sharpen and strengthen it. This is why James tells us to consider it “pure joy” when we fall into trials, because the testing of our faith produces perseverance and matures us, providing the evidence that our faith is real (James 1:2–4).

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USDA ERS - Summary Findings
Consumer Price Index for Food (not seasonally adjusted)

The all-items Consumer Price Index (CPI), a measure of economy-wide inflation, decreased by 0.1 percent from October 2022 to November 2022 and was up 7.1 percent from November 2021. The CPI for all food increased 0.2 percent from October 2022 to November 2022, and food prices were 10.6 percent higher than in November 2021.

The level of food price inflation varies depending on whether the food was purchased for consumption at home or away from home:

• The food-at-home (grocery store or supermarket food purchases) CPI did not change from October 2022 to November 2022 and was 12.0 percent higher than November 2021; and
• The food-away-from-home (restaurant purchases) CPI increased 0.5 percent in November 2022 and was 8.5 percent higher than November 2021.

In 2022, food price increases are expected to be above the increases in 2020 and 2021. In 2022, all food prices are predicted to increase between 9.5 and 10.5 percent, food-at-home prices are predicted to increase between 11.0 and 12.0 percent, and food-away-from-home prices are predicted to increase between 7.0 and 8.0 percent. Food prices are expected to grow more slowly in 2023 than in 2022, but still at above historical average rates. In 2023, all food prices are predicted to increase between 3.5 and 4.5 percent, food-at-home prices are predicted to increase between 3.0 and 4.0 percent, and food-away-from-home prices are predicted to increase between 4.0 and 5.0 percent.

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We are too old for a lot of the things we are doing and participating in.
Real Talk With Amiri Podcast..

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