Really Personal Podcast

Picture this: you've connected with a good-looking person, and during your first few encounters, you begin experiencing rumbles of disgust and confusion. The exit door is near eyesight, and you just can't wait to break free and away from the date. What the heck just happened?

This, my friend, is no other than the rumbles of the ick! We hear about the ick on social media and TV shows, and it's not just millennial jargon. Man, woman, or child, we all experience the ick in various forms. Whether it's an interior signal that triggers alarms of warning or perpetual occurrence in your relationships, we have all experienced feeling "icky" about situations and people.

When it comes to dating and relationships, the ick is a huge indicator to step away and move on. But how do we decipher whether the icks are valid reasons to end a date or even a relationship? And is the ick the person or the trait?

When we get stuck in analyzing the ick, that’s when we know we are up in the mind and in anxiety. It’s not fun to get the ick, especially if you experience relationship anxiety.

Does our love language inform us why we get the ick? Love Languages show us how we receive love, but they also tell us about how we react to unwanted love. For example, if your love language is Words of Affirmation, and someone you’re not super into starts showering you with compliments, you’re more likely to get the ick than someone who doesn’t value Words of Affirmation as highly as you do.

If someone is giving us this love prematurely, it feels as though they are overstepping a boundary, or worse, manipulating their way into our hearts, hence THE ICK!

Explore How to reduce “the ick” in your loving, healthy relationships!

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"If you want to be a man who leads in his relationships, you must first be a man worth following." Time and time again we are reminded that if you have no direction to provide, why would you expect anyone to trust your lead.

Sitting down with Daniel and Evan Richardsons, brothers only 3 years apart, was not only an inspirational gathering, but one of leadership, direction, and protection. Previous episodes talk about men and relationships from women's perspectives, but this episode is men talking about men, and their innate call to lead, direct, and protect.

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You might think you know what people-pleasing is, but let’s examine it closely: it’s not just about pleasing another person, it’s about perceiving your self-worth based on the reactions of other people towards you. 

Like all psychological tendencies and needs, pleasing others arise from different causes. For some people, it is the result of overly strict or dismissive parenting because such parenting communicates to children that they are not loved, which is extremely painful for a child. What do children need more than feeling loved by their parents? So if children believe that their parents do not love them, they will do just about anything to gain their parents’ approval and validation, which they perceive as a sign of their parents’ love for them. To put it plainly, people-pleasers overcompensate the love they didn’t receive in childhood from their parents by pouring love into others. 

What would this podcast be if it didn’t provide a bit of advice to help you use your voice and have the courage and the clarity to just be yourself! Get tips on starting the process to stop people-pleasing!

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Do you actually like them, or do you want them to like you? Those images you created in your head- that fantasy life with them is not reality. One way to break free from this is to observe red flags in the early onset of dating.

Gabrielle Bergeron is not only a former co-worker, but also a friend that has journeyed with me through the tumultuous, yet entertaining experiences of online dating. She joins us for round 2 on the Really Personal Podcast, and boy do we have some juice to spill!

What exactly are red flags and why do they even matter? When we feel something is off, but we can’t logically pinpoint exactly what that is, we often tend to ignore it. And I get it- when dating someone new, we’re just going off the surface and what we’re seeing because we don’t have a history to go off of. We don’t have patterns to look at to see what this person is really like. 

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Just how important it is to prioritize self-love? It is one of the biggest, overlooked decisions and actions in life. We are constantly fed the narratives of the expectations placed on romantic relationships to fulfill all of our needs in our lives. And the fact of the matter is that we are fulfilled in bigger and better ways outside of romantic relationships.

Let's tear down these walls and embark on solo dates by going to a restaurant you've been hearing great things about, buying yourself flowers, visiting the art museum, putting on a ba-fancy outfit and ordering a cocktail at the bar while reading a book, buying that house you've been saving for, booking that trip to Spain, or catching the latest indie film at the movie theater.

Romantic relationships can be beautiful, but they don't define our worth or the value of our lives. 

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Ever wish you could find your right person without all of the complications of dating? The ying-yang of online dating has its benefits, but you just have to know how to navigate through the slums of bad profiles and potential time-wasters. Join Mary Ann Addis and Gabriella Bergeron as they lay down their really personal online dating experiences. 

Set realistic expectations, standards, and time in the online dating world, and just MAYBE, just maybe, love is just a swipe away! 

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Ever wonder why you’re attracted to certain people? What are the factors that will determine whether your relationship is successful or not so much? Dating attachment styles is not “one size fits all.” We are all unique, with different characteristics from different upbringings and backgrounds. The area of psychology that gives us insight into this is called Attachment Theory, and we're going to get really personal on this one, y'all!

Read the transcript at https://maryannlife.com/really-personal-podcast

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