Rebecca Pittenger's Podcast of Weird Songs

I'm posting a bonus song this week; it's the next song in the effed up relationship album (well, it's the effed up relationship album, Part 2 - Part 1 is already on  Spotify and stuff). I was trying to make a song that sounds like a major depressive episode. The criteria for a major depressed episode are depressed mood, lack of interest, guilt, low energy, poor concentration, changes in appetite, psychomotor retardation or agitation, and suicidal ideation. You only need 5 of those to qualify as having a major depressive episode. Anyway, that's what I had, the summer of 1999, right after I broke up with the boyfriend from Hell. This is a 3 layer song - I got samples from last week's song, the song a few wees before, and some new stuff, all jumbled together, in an attempt to create the most depressingest  song ever. 

Okay, yeah. I mean, yes. My music this year had been sucking balls. 2021 and the first part of 2022 were my Golden Ages of Music. I dunno if I'll ever get mojo like that back again. But I realized about a month ago that, not only did my more recent music have no mojo in it, but it also had no soul in it, either. It had no heart. I wasn't "singing it the way I feel it," the way Robert Duvall said in Tender Mercies. So, with the  intention to sing it the way I feel it, my last couple songs ended up having more me in them. They ended up having more soul in them.On top of the badness of recent months, I've gotten all weird about how many plays my songs get. I used to get a lot more, cuz the songs were better, back in the day. Going through a writer's block is bad enough, but worrying about how many plays your music gets kills creativity. It just cuts it short, when you start to think about whether people'll like this or that tune or whatever. So, that's what this song's about; it's about how I was gettin' hung up on how many plays my sucky songs would get, which made them even more sucky than they'd've been if I hadn't been worrying about how many plays they'd get. 

This is the next song in the effed up relationship album, part 2. The main character just broke up with the boyfriend from Hell, and she knows, intellectually, that she should be happy about it, but she's all depressed.

Here's the fleshed out version of the wee little demo I recorded a week ago. It's a song about me and Jesus being sad about all the trees that are being cut down and stuff like that. 

Okay, yes. This might be a good one...or the start of a good one. I'm-a-gonna post it here; if I add to it tomorrow, I'll replace the audio file thingy  with the fleshed out song thingamagigger; but this part'll sound the same cuz I don't wanna mess it up.

This is a song that came to me in a number of dreams; it's about falling down a long, dark hole. It's probably symbolic of depression or something along those lines. My voice still sounds like crap from having had Covid. Or at least, I hope that's the case, cuz it means it'll get better someday, probably. This might be a crappy mix, too. I might re-mix it tomorrow or something.

Here's the fleshed out version of yesterday's song. It's a song about how, ever since I caught Covid, I haven't dreamed in color. All my dreams are dark brown, the color of what I see behind my closed eyelids, as if I'm dreaming of having my eyes closed. I guess I actually see stuff, but it's all the same soupy mess of dark-brown-ness. I wonder if I dreams'll ever get normal again. But anyway, the thing this song's about could also be a metaphor for depression and stuff. A depressed person walks through life as if in a colorless dream.This song also sounds (at least to me) a lot like this fantasy I have. The fantasy is to someday make an album that sounds like what Linkin Park would sound like if they did a country album. Y'know how Linkin Park experimented with lots of different stuff? Like, here's a metal + rap album...here's another album that sounds different from that...here's a pop album (their last album). I always wondered if - if Chester lived - if Linkin Park woulda ever experimented with doing a country album. Maybe this song sounds like what that would sound like. Well, maybe if I was actually talented, it would sound like that, but this is my best attempt so far. Oh yeah, the scratchy nature of the vocals has to do with the fact that I still have Covid.

I'm gonna add more stuff to this track tomorrow, like maybe banjos and stuff and a bass. I got a thingy I need to go to so I'll finish it tomorrow. It's a song about how Covid has affected my dreams. Man, Covid does some wacky stuff to the brain. My dreams are messed up.

This is a fun li'l ditty, a rap song with banjo and cat in it. It's about a girl who's made tons and tons and tons and tons of mistakes in her life.

This is a song where I sing about coming down with covid. I mean, it really happened, in real life this week. Try to imagine it with some dude with a low voice singing, like Tom Waits or Leonard Cohen or something.