Types of Feedback

• Critical

• Constructive

• For the purposes of this episode we'll be focusing on constructive feedback

Questions to consider when you are receiving feedback

• What is my relationship with the person giving feedback? (boss, spouse, co-worker, friend)
• How does the power dynamic between us change how this feedback is given/received
• What risk did they have to take to give me this feedback?
• What is at risk if I don't truly listen/understand?
• How can I be grateful for this information regardless of how uncomfortable it is to hear?

Tools/Things to Remember

• Seek genuine understanding before being understood
• Listen beyond the tone (for the receiver)
• Breathe
• Thank the person and acknowledge that it might have been challenging for them to bring this to you
• Ask clarifying questions (without interrogating or defending)
• Acknowledge that you hear them and validate their experience
• Avoid jumping into fixing or defensiveness:
• Take responsibility for your action and your role
• Questions to ask yourself:
• • How could their experience be different than mine?
  • How can I see things from their frame of reference?
  • How did I express myself?
  • What were my intentions when I expressed myself?
  • How was I feeling just before the interaction?
• Try not to center yourself (as the recipient)

Taking it Personally - How to manage your emotions during feedback

• Reminders: we have the capacity to hurt others regardless of our intentions
• It's human to take things personally and make it about yourself
• Stay out of the "I'm being attacked" mindset
• Hold space for multiple feelings and truths
• A helpful reframe is to understand that constructive feedback - as painful as it can be - is truly a gift.
• The risk of not receiving feedback

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