Recovering from Everything

In this deeply personal anniversary episode, I reflect on my 14 years alcohol-free.

We are talking about the obstacles that do not always show up in conventional recovery stories: functioning while quietly falling apart, discovering that alcohol was doing a job, learning to feel without immediately escaping, outgrowing rooms and relationships, and realizing that pleasure and peace can feel uncomfortable after years of survival.

We are also talking about the accomplishments: self-trust, curiosity, honest connection, meaningful work, joy, boundaries, community, and the life I built after alcohol stopped being the main character.

The woman I have been forced to become is elite.

And if fourteen years has taught me anything, it is that recovery is not only about avoiding the life you want to escape.

It is about becoming someone who can fully inhabit the life you build.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me, worked with me, trusted me, and allowed me to be part of their journey.

Here’s to 14 years—and to seeing how much better I can get.

For more more information, start here:

https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

This podcast is for educational and personal reflection purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental-health care.

Women will spend money on the kids, the house, their parents, vacations, groceries—and, yes, alcohol.

But when it’s time to invest in their own physical or mental health?

Suddenly, we’re accountants.

In this episode of Recovering from Everything, I’m talking about why women often choose the cheapest, least disruptive form of support for themselves—even when their drinking is already costing them money, sleep, confidence, health, and peace.

We’ll explore:

• Why self-neglect can feel responsible
• The psychology of self-sacrifice and self-silencing
• How loss aversion and the status quo keep women stuck
• Why unsupported attempts to cut back damage self-trust
• The difference between being financially responsible and undervaluing your health
• Why doing nothing is never actually free

Watch my FREE Masterclass to learn why rules and willpower haven’t created lasting change—and how motivated women can change their drinking from the inside out:

https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

This podcast is educational and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care.

In this feisty episode of Recovering from Everything, Kinga talks about one of the biggest themes inside her women’s programs:

What happens when alcohol stops being the main character… and you’re left alone with yourself?

This episode explores:

• why so many high-functioning women struggle to answer “how are you feeling?”
• emotional disconnection and performance exhaustion
• why women often feel intimidated by quiet nights without alcohol
• how alcohol becomes relief, comfort, permission, and escape
• the “excavation process” of actually getting to know yourself
• hobbies, identity, boredom, rest, resentment, and nervous system overload
• why focusing ONLY on alcohol keeps women stuck

Kinga also talks about:

🍋 perimenopause chaos
🍷 why she’s sick of women obsessing over “rules” around alcohol
🥁 taking up drumming in early sobriety
🪴 her former wine crate turned plant stand
💀 dissociating through busyness and pretending it’s productivity

This episode is honest, funny, psychological, and deeply validating for women who are exhausted from constantly thinking about drinking.

FREE MASTERCLASS:
https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

JOIN THE AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY THAT IS SAVING MY PERIMENOPAUSAL-WEIGHT-GAIN-CONFUSED-BUTT with Sarah Weiss, my favourite Registered Dietitian:
https://www.skool.com/weisschoicesbeyonddieting/about?ref=4084de14382c4114af0f38de5761c936

In this episode, I walk you through my relationship with alcohol — from my first drunk at 14… to drinking alone after work… to the moment a complete stranger called me out and everything changed.

I talk about:

• Why alcohol worked for me (and why that matters)
• The shift from social drinking to something more isolating
• The gap between how my life looked… and how I actually felt
• Why I never thought alcohol was the problem
• The moment that finally woke me up
• Why most support out there didn’t fit me (and what I needed instead)
• How I built a completely different way of changing my relationship with alcohol

This is the episode I wish more high-functioning women could hear.

Because you don’t have to be falling apart for alcohol to be taking something from you!

And you’re not the only one living that experience.

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If you’re a motivated woman who wants to change your relationship with alcohol privately, intelligently, and without shame, you can learn more here:

👉 https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

You’ve thought about cutting back on drinking.
You’ve Googled it.
You’ve maybe even said, “I should probably do something about this…”

But nothing changes.

This episode is about why.

Because there’s a version of “wanting to change” that isn’t real yet.
And most high-functioning women live there -- thinking about change -- for years.

In this episode, I break down the subtle (and socially acceptable) ways you might be avoiding real change:

• The constant back-and-forth: “It’s a problem… but it’s fine”
• Why “I still function” is keeping you stuck
• The difference between thinking about change vs. actually being ready
• How your environment quietly reinforces your drinking
• Why you haven’t really tried yet (and what that actually means)

We also get into the Stages of Change, so you can finally see where you are… and why you feel so stuck!

If you’ve ever thought:
“I know I should change… but I’m not doing anything about it.”

This is the episode for you.

Ready to move out of the ‘thinking about it’ phase?

Let's talk!
👉 https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/call

Flaky friends. Ghosting. Slow replies. Cancelled plans.

Why does it affect us so much?

In this episode, I break down the psychology of integrity in friendships and relationships — and why consistency between words and actions is one of the most important (and overlooked) foundations of emotional safety.

This isn’t just about other people.

It’s also about the moments where we avoid, delay, overcommit, or disappear — and how to repair when we fall out of integrity.

Inside this episode:

• What integrity actually means (and what it doesn’t)
• Why flakiness and inconsistency dysregulate your nervous system
• The psychology behind ghosting and “ambiguous loss”
• How attachment styles get triggered in everyday interactions
• What to do when someone in your life lacks integrity
• How to repair and rebuild trust when you’ve been out of integrity yourself

If you’ve ever felt hurt, confused, or destabilized by someone’s inconsistency — this will help you understand why… and what to do next.

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If you’re a high-functioning woman who feels stuck in a frustrating, repetitive pattern with alcohol — even though your life looks “fine” on the outside — you’re not alone.

I work with women who are ready to change their relationship with alcohol in a way that actually lasts.

👉 Watch the free masterclass here:
https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

In this episode, I share where that belief started — as a little girl who felt different, outside the room, and unable to connect — and how that story followed me into school, family roles, relationships, and eventually alcohol.

We talk about:

• Being labeled the “problem child”

• Why high-functioning women drink to simulate belonging

• Square peg / round hole syndrome

• The difference between validation and alignment

• Outgrowing rooms that quietly shrink you

If your life looks good on paper but something inside feels off… this one is for you.

You may not be broken.
You may be misplaced.

Ready to explore this deeper?

Start with my free masterclass:
https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

You are not defective. And it’s safe to rediscover who you actually are.

Many high-functioning women feel unexpected guilt when life starts to feel calm, enjoyable, or easy. In this episode, I explore hedonic guilt, nervous system conditioning, and why pleasure can feel unsafe after years of survival, self-abandonment, or changing your relationship with alcohol.

This is not a mindset problem, it’s a biological and emotional recalibration. If you’ve ever struggled to relax, enjoy success, or let things be easy, this conversation will resonate.

If you are a high-functioning woman in midlife who is ready to make permanent changes to her relationship with alcohol, start here:

https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register

The way that women treat themselves with alcohol is often reflected in their relationships, too! Evidence shows that some men rely on us having low-self-esteem so we can take the blame for everything wrong with them and their lives.

So what happens when we start our healing?? We've got years of reprogramming to sort through, and how are we supposed to act around people who prefer us to be slightly less of ourselves?

We get personal in this one... hope you like crying!

In this episode, Kinga breaks down a truth that high-functioning women feel but rarely say out loud:

You’re not going to change your drinking in a room where you don’t belong.

If you’ve ever walked into AA, treatment, or a mixed-support group and instantly felt like:

• “These aren’t my people…”

• “I’m too privileged to talk here…”

• “I don’t relate to any of this…”

• “I feel like I have to tone myself down…”

— this episode will hit you right in the solar plexus.

Kinga explains why your recovery accelerates when you’re surrounded by women who live similar lives, face similar pressures, and understand the emotional and social realities behind your drinking — not just alcohol in general.

This is a permission slip to stop forcing yourself into rooms that were never built for you.

In The Self-Control Solution™, Kinga vets every woman and curates the group intentionally so you’re surrounded by peers who get your lifestyle, your pressure, your habits, your emotional load, and your version of “functioning.”

If you want to change your drinking with women who actually understand you, start with the Free Masterclass:

https://www.theselfcontrolsolution.com/register