Welcome to Red String Thursdays, gang. Sammy dishes some decade-old gossip, Zev explains exactly why we shouldn't quit our day jobs, and Jean wants to speak to the manager. Also, imma let you finish, but this is all the ghost council's (and one oompa-loompa's) fault.

You're gonna want to spend a happy point on this one. Sammy becomes a life guru via poorly-received video game, Zev becomes a film snob (briefly), and Jean admires a feat of human cooperation. Also, Marlon Brando, queen of gender, and some friendly aliens are responsible for car racing. 

We hope you're ready. Sammy mispronounces a word while decrying some menaces, Zev finds out what music we like and then gives us the opposite of that, and Jean reminisces about childhood. Also, garden to fight back against Reagan. And do all your shopping at Walmart.

We make Red String history this week: for the first time, Sammy and Jean come in with the same topic. So, Jean talks about a wacky baseball man, Zev launches a personal vendetta with help from a sexist beauty blog, and Sammy brings it full circle with a conspiracy of our own. Also, please don't file your nails if you're allergic to onions. Blame Rube and the Boohbahs, not us.

Are you down with the thickness? Sammy haunts us with a shitty tale, Zev makes our drinks into Pixar moms, and Jean's just really excited about Hatsune Miku. Also, the world's first ever human-to-digital-pop-sensation transformation was... a little grosser than expected. We talk about poop a lot this episode, alright? We're only sort of sorry. 

Miss us? Sammy's got a fishy friend, Zev's got a faceful of makeup and some wonderful orange hair, and Jean's got an economic crisis that may or may not have happened. Also, the Muppets are immortal because the Netherlands became independent from Spain. And Chuck E Cheese has a new husband. 

We begin with a weird email promo and it goes downhill from there. Sammy opens the door for more playful self-antisemitism, Zev just wants us to stop and eat some peaches, and Jean does some poetry reading. Also, the same spirit is responsible for a cursed Olympic event, a beautiful piece of writing, and the band U2.

Happy Tuesday, everyone. Sammy talks about the world's sketchiest dating app, Zev talks about everyone's favorite lawn decoration, and Jean talks about the most legendary pig. Also, we leak movies now, and we've got the Snyder cut of Gnomeo and Juliet 3. 

We get our first guest host! Sammy speed-dials a real Australian while eating Cap'n Crunch, Zev jazzes it out with a strongly-worded letter, and Jean gets nostalgic about a computer game while their mic quality dies. Oh, and watch out for some thick asscheeks. Wouldn't want you to get murdered.

Thank you to Zak for answering our question! You can find him on Instagram and Twitter @therooneymusic or at linktr.ee/RooneyMusic :)

It's our twentieth episode, so we've got a special one for you! Jean reads everyone's astrological birth charts, and we get... really lost in the weeds. We apologize to any women named Compton, but maybe you should apologize to us, too.