RedCheeks

*This episode is in the Polish language*

Od jakiegoś już czasu chciałam nagrać odcinek podcastu po polsku. Było trochę strachu ze zapomne jak coś powiedzieć w moim języku, ale okazało się że nie było aż tak źle :) No ale druga rzecz jest taka że ja miałam wspaniałych gości w tym odcinku, i w dużej mierze dzięki nim wszystko poszło gładziutko. So … without further due :) Aga i Żwirek - twórcy Warszawskiego Festiwalu Filmów Post Pornograficznych! W tym roku (2023) festival po raz drugi odbędzie się w Polsce. I moim zdaniem jest to niesamowite że coś tak wspaniałego udało się zorganizować w naszym kraju. Duzy szacun!

Episode navigation:
00:04:40 “Natural Pleaser”
00:14:40 Czym sa filmy postpornograficzne
00:24:10 Widzialność, opór i przyjemność
00:36:00 Pornografia i edukacja seksualna
00:42:47 Tworzenie festiwalu, perypetie i przemeblowanie życia
00:52:11 Radykalna Troska

Links:
Oficialna strona festivalu: Post Porn Festival Warsaw 

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Briana, aka ThatSexLady, has always been fascinated by the nuances of sex but only decided to become a full-on Sex Educator when giving a menstrual talk to some high school girls and one student raised their hand and asked, “But if you use a tampon, how will you pee?” And then again, it was reaffirmed when giving a talk on consent and safer sex when yet another one of Briana’s students asked, “Standing up sex is safe sex, right?”
She knew then and there that she had to reach the world with her knowledge of sex and dive deeper into researching all things sex-related. With a background in education, a Master in Psychology, and a Neuroscience of Mental Health from King's College of London, Briana buckled up and decided to pursue a Certificate of Sex Education from The Sexual Health Alliance.

Episode navigation:
00:01:44 Porn addiction
00:15:10 Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR)
00:30:10 Pivoting point to become a sex educator
00:36:49 Tips for exploring sexual pleasure
00:41:53 Safe space
00:50:48 Confidence and pleasure
01:06:39 Meaning of intimacy
01:10:16 Psychodrama
01:20:40 De-rolling rituals
01:26:48 De-rolling in porn

Links:
Getting in touch with Brie:
Web: ThatSexLady.com

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Alison Boden is a veteran adult entertainment industry executive currently serving as an  Executive Director for FSC (Free Speach Coalition). She has worked in the industry since 2003 in various roles. From the project manager and marketing director through the software engineering and technology executive. One of the places she worked was Kink.com, where she ensured the professional treatment of performers and an ethical approach to the production of the scenes. 

Alison holds a bachelor's degree in Sociology with a concentration in Women’s Studies from the University of Pittsburgh. Recently she was voted XBIZ’s Community Figure of The Year. 

With her work, Alison supports and advocates for marginalised groups and people’s fundamental rights.

Episode navigation:

00:01:40 - Blow-up doll costume 

00:08:40 - Growing up

00:15:51 - Selling sex toys 

00:24:21 - Sociatey and sexual pleasure 

00:27:28 - Free pornography and its impact on the industry 

00:35:25 - SESTA - FOSTA and social media

00:46:25 - Adult content and sex-ed

00:56:37 - Porn and values 

01:00:55 - Bodily harm, consent and filming kink

01:05:08 - Ethical process

01:08:28 - The motivation

01:11:18 - Abortion 

Links:

Alison’s Twitter

Alison’s website

FSC 

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Are we born with a heterosexual desire, or do we simply end up with it? Is addiction to porn real? How may fear turn into sexual arousal? Why do men like to send d*ck pics? These are some of the topics Frederick Toates and I discussed in this podcast episode. 

Frederick Toates is an Emeritus Professor of Biological Psychology at The Open University in England and Vice-President of the Open University Psychology Society. He is well known for his work on sexual desire, which he published in a book: How Sexual Desire Works: The Enigmatic Urge - a great read, dense in information and research findings from fields like psychology and neuroscience. Recently he explored why some people engage in serial killings for sexual pleasure, and in 2022 he published a book on this topic: Understanding Sexual Serial Killing. 

Tune in for this in-depth, highly educative conversation and let us know your thoughts. 

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Is having sex empowering? Where is the limit when it comes to filming more hard-core scenes? Is showing consent in adult films sexy or a turn-off? These and many more topics we tackled in the conversation with Bea Bleu - a wonderful human being and a great filmmaker. 

Bea is a Viennese filmmaker based in Berlin. Her adult movies aim to show authentic forms of sexual pleasure, exploration and play. She is dedicated to creating adult media where everyone feels safe and respected. Follow her work @__beablue in Instagram or Twitter.

Time codes:
00:00:10 - amateur performers 
00:04:25 - aftercare
00:07:00 - director’s vision and being flexible 
00:14:45 - having the right sex 
00:17: 38 - dating, and personal relationships
00:22:00 - showing kinks, BDSM and different forms of hard-core sex in porn - where is the limit
00:25:40 - how porn can show consent 
00:36:40 - ethical adult media 
00:40:20 - language
00:50:40 - fantasies 
00:57:00 - cancel culture 
01:01:00 - sexual scripts 
01:03:40 - growing up and intimacy
01:05:45 - power
01:07:18 - why porn

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Are we privileged with our accessibility to sex and pleasure? What is sexcare? Can pornography help disabled people with exploring sexual pleasure? These and many other topics I discussed with Sofie van den Haak.

Sofie van den Haak is an applied psychologist who works with different organisations that help disabled people explore intimacy and sex. She started working at the age of 15 in health care. First, she worked helping people with dementia, and for the last three years, she focused on people with disabilities and their need for intimacy and sexual expression. Her mission is to help vulnerable people in society to feel more heard, seen and loved.   

Episode navigation:

00:00- How it all started
00:08 - defining terms like disability and sex-care
00:18 - exploring intimacy, communication, and aspect of coaching in sex-care
00:27- consent and boundaries
00:31 - ethics
00:42 - the process - intake, matching, preparation
00:48 - activities provided by sexcarer during the appointment
00:53 - pornography and disability
00:58 - sexcarer's boundaries
01:02 - becoming a sexcarer
01:06 - sexcare globally

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Intro
I met Doortje when she was giving a lecture at the University of Amsterdam. She spoke about sexual pleasure not being a luxury but rather a fundamental human right that everyone deserves to experience. After the lecture finished, I left craving more. I wanted to hear what else she had to say, and I knew I needed to record a podcast with her so others could enjoy her wisdom and positive attitude. Despite way too many “precisely” from my side, I hope you will enjoy this episode as much as I did.

About Doortje
Doortje Braeken van Schaik has more than 35 years of experience in adolescent sexual reproductive health and rights. She is the co-author of the International Sexuality Education Guidelines by UNESCO and a board member of the Global Advisory Board on Sexual Health and Wellbeing. In 2014 she received the golden medal from the World Association for Sexual Health for her contributions to Comprehensive Sexual Education.
Doortje worked on guidelines for the sexual reproductive health of young people for WHO. She is the author of seven pleasure principles for The Pleasure Projects.   


Time codes
00:03:51 - Including pleasure in sexual health education
00:10:32 - What is sex, how do we define it and what falls into this category
00:13:55 - Language and sexual expression 
00:20:50 - Pleasure meter, human rights aspect in sexual pleasure
00:36:18 - Educating sexual offenders 
00:41:24 - Intimacy and sexual satisfaction after menopause 
00:46:35 - Depiction of sex in media 

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

In this two-part episode, I spoke with a couple about cuckolding. My goal with this episode is to present a different lifestyle and a relationship type that we often don’t speak about. Crystal Welch and her husband are a married cuckold couple and they have been together for 8 years. Cuckolding is a type of consensual non-monogamy, where only the woman has multiple sexual partners (called “bulls”), and the husband remains faithful. It’s a form of domination that can be expressed differently in the relationship, and most of the time, the wife is the dominant one. 

The first part is with R, the husband. And in the second conversation, I speak with the wife - Crystal. Both of them agreed to the interview under the condition that their real identities are kept secret.

(The first interview ends around 44 minutes in.)

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Avril Louise Clarke is a clinical sexologist and educational manager at The Porn Conversations, the platform that focuses on comprehensive and science-based sex-ed and porn literacy. In addition, she recently took on the role of Intimacy Coordinator for ErikaLust Productions and in this podcast episode, she shared her experience with this role. 

On her social media, she talks about sexual education that focuses not only on prevention but primarily on pleasure. At The Porn Conversations, she co-created the porn literacy materials tailored to kids of different age groups that help parents have conversations with their kids about porn and its message. 

Podcast navigation:
00:02:14 - Background info, family, sexuality
00:14:05 - First experience with pornography
00:22:22 - Influence of porn on people
00:30:30 - How to think critically about the media that we consume
00:37:08 - Porn literacy - definition
00:40:53 - Good vs bad porn
00:43:52 - IC role
00:54:09 - Intimate conversations in private life - how to do it right?

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.

Zina Berlin is a sex worker with over four years of experience who enjoys different kinks and fetishes. She appeared in diffrent porn films, created her content, did webcamming and worked directly with clients. Zina also has a background in psychology and practices sexological bodywork - a form of therapy that Zina is using with her clients. It's a complex subject, and Zina does a great job at explaining it and introducing some of the practices she is using. 

In this episode, we spoke about many different topics. Some of them were how growing up influenced who she is right now or establishing boundaries in life and sex work. The second part of this episode is more practical because Zina introduced exercises or ways that help to develop boundaries and navigate through sexual pleasure and desire.  

Bookmarks
00:00:10 - intro, workday, latex outfits
00:07:00 - growing up
00:08:40 - sex work in covid times
00:13:00 - hobbies while growing up (achievement vs fun)
00:16:55 - talking about intimacy while growing up (open/closed door)
00:20:10 - first sexual experience / fantasy / self pleasure, sex ed. 
00:26:30 - first encounter with porn
00:29:20 - getting caught in public kink / being dominated
00:35:00 - beginning of sex fork/academia
00:41:30 - first experience with doing porn
00:44:00 - setting up boundaries before a porn shoot/communication
00:47:40 - exercises that help to establish connection and boundaries / giving vs taking
00:55:30 - 3-minute game
01:01:35 - dealing with no
01:08:10 - the importance of touch
01:15:40 - sexological bodywork
01:20:50 - typical bodywork session
01:27:00 - Zina's dream for future/healing sex work

Support the show

Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.  

This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process. 

If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way

🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics

🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set

👥 Gain confidence in your people skills

💼 Do more meaningful work

🔄 Change your mindset


Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅  5 weeks of intensive learning experience

✅  making meaningful connections

✅  1-on-1 coaching sessions

✅  Guest talks by industry experts

✅  Ongoing support after the workshop

Apply on RedCheeks Academy.