The boss man is smoking doobies on the roof...but I think i'm keep my mouth shut yanno, for business purposes

Yea dude I hate to break it to you but my train seat isn't really the place to be cutting your toenails...good on you for caring about hygene though

At this point I think we need to accept that the government just has a weird obsession with trying to optimize birds to do their work for them? Why have a human with a machine gun when we could just train a chicken to do it??

Watering your neighbour's lawn? Welp...I hope you enjoy rotting in a cell for the rest of your life

"Yea dude so she booty called me! Thank God I dodged that one!!"

"But you're hardly friends with her"

"I know dude! Wow...what a relief"

"..."

Oh yea being a concert photographer for Travis Scott was cool...right before I became paralyzed during a moshpit

Hey man do you have any tissues?

Yea of course man there a bunch in the trash I just used but their still good!

:-|

yea I can't say we are rallying behind our boss at the office...we went out for drinks and watched him get curved by a waitress so not exactly a role model...

Yea sorry guys...I didn't mention this before the hangout but I'm not super into beating up random strangers as a prank so...heh...I'll have to skip out this time

At this point i'm going to have to accept defeat and secede power to the last tiny bit of juice left in the container...it has won