What does it look like to lose a child — and come out the other side with deep joy and a life devoted to helping other grieving people?

In this episode Sandi Derby is joined by Pastor Dave Page, care director at Shepherd Church in Southern California, grief specialist, and author of The School of Grief. Dave lost his five-year-old daughter Jackie to a brain tumor over twenty years ago, and what emerged from that loss has shaped his entire calling.

Dave shares the story of Jackie's diagnosis, her final weeks, and the profound conversations they had in her last month of life — including the moment in the car when his five-year-old daughter looked at him and said, "Silly daddy, we're all gonna die someday."

He also talks about the concept of "Jackie Power" — the strength he draws from Jackie's memory whenever he thinks he can't do something — why embracing pain (not reframing it) is what brings breakthrough, and the railroad tracks analogy that changed how he understands joy and sorrow running together in the same life.

This conversation is warm, honest, deeply moving, and full of hope. It is for anyone who has experienced loss — or who is walking alongside someone who has.

Connect with Pastor Dave Page at pastordave.com.

This morning, before Sandi even knew what she was going to talk about, she heard a soft, still voice say: Tell them of my goodness.

So that's what this episode is — a testimony. For anyone who is in a stretching season, wondering if God sees them, wondering if things are ever going to shift.

He does. And He is very good.

Sandi opens up about one of the most difficult seasons of her life — a year in court, a mortgage she couldn't pay, grief, loneliness, and layers of her story she never imagined she would have to face. And what God showed her through all of it is this: it was never punishment. It was preparation.

She shares the belly crawl scene from Facing the Giants — a kid blindfolded, carrying weight on his back, convinced he can't go another step — and the moment the coach rips off the blindfold and says: you're in the end zone. That is what God is saying to some of you right now.

This episode also covers what happens when you don't face the pain within, why self-reliance will eventually run out, and what it looks like when God finally becomes enough — not perfectly, but truly.

If you're in a hard place, this testimony is for you to grab onto.

He is not punishing you. He is preparing you.

The land looked dry. The dove didn't come back. And Noah still waited 57 more days for God to say it was time to come out.

If you're in a season right now where you're not where you were — but you're not yet where you're going — this episode is for you.

Sandi takes a deep dive into the story of Noah and the ark, and what she found there is profoundly relevant to the season so many of us are in. In Genesis 7:1, God didn't say "go into the ark." He said "come" — because He was already there. The ark had no steering wheel. God was the captain. And Noah didn't leave until God said go — not when the raven went out, not when the dove returned, not even when the land looked completely dry. It was 57 days after the ground looked ready before God said it was time.

There is a danger in leaving your season too early. And there is also something powerful waiting for you in the waiting.

This episode covers how to discern what God has actually called you to do, what it looks like to truly rest in Him rather than strive in your own strength, and why the rooms He's calling you into require the preparation you're in right now.

Don't step out too soon. He'll let you know when it's time.

Connect with Sandi:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandi_derby11/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sandiderby11
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandiderby
Website: https://courses.sandiderby.com/

You're a walking miracle. But if you're always focused on the next thing you don't have, you're going to miss it.

In this episode, Sandi shares what the Lord put on her heart through a simple phone call — and why learning to celebrate your victories isn't spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity. It's one of the most important faith practices you can build.

Because here's the truth: if you don't learn to pause and soak in what God has already done, when the big breakthrough finally comes — it won't be enough to fill you. You'll already be looking ahead.

This episode covers why your heart can hold both victory and pain at the same time, how to celebrate from the heart rather than checking a box in your head, and why every victory — no matter how small — matters more than you know.

You are not just some grain of sand on the seashore. You are precious to Him. And your victories light up heaven.

You matter more than you know.

In this episode, Sandi Derby shares a handful of ordinary moments — a Lyft driver running on almost no sleep, an unexpected call from a grieving widow, a little girl's heartbreaking question at recess — that each circle back to the same quiet truth about your worth.

If you've ever felt like you don't count, or like your value depends on what you do or what's been done to you, this one's for you. Sandi gets into the hidden belief beneath the striving, the comparison, and the offense we carry — and the freedom that comes when you finally believe how much you matter.

This is the first episode back after a short break, and Reflections of the Father's Heart is moving to a new bi-weekly rhythm — going deeper, not quieter.

Go deeper:
📖 Sandi's book, Living Born Again: https://sandiderby.com/living-born-again/
💛 Free Emotional Wholeness Assessment: https://sandiderby.com/survey/
🔗 linktr.ee/sandiderby

"I will never forgive my parents." That's what Sandi said to the woman who first told her she needed to. It took twenty years to learn that almost everything she'd been taught about forgiveness was wrong.

In this episode, Sandi Derby unpacks what forgiveness actually means for anyone carrying deep wounds — abuse, betrayal, family pain, religious harm. Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook. It's not forgetting. It's not reconciliation. And it should never be weaponized against a victim. It's the release of a debt too heavy to carry — and it's the doorway to real healing and freedom.

Sandi also shares a deeper teaching on the difference between the sin nature and the flesh, and why understanding it is key to the journey of sanctification and inner healing.

Rooted in the message of her book Living Born Again: salvation is the beginning of healing, not the end.

If this episode helped you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts — it takes two minutes and helps this podcast reach people who need it.

Topics: forgiveness, grief, healing, trauma, abuse recovery, inner healing, deliverance, sanctification, Christian healing, emotional health, faith, restoration.

For the first time in my life, I couldn't pay my mortgage. I sat at my kitchen table in tears, thinking I was about to lose my home — and then God asked me a question that broke a 55-year stronghold I didn't even know was there.

Episode 100 is the full testimony. It's also a teaching on something I've been learning the hard way: in God's economy, promotion often looks like things being stripped away, not added.

In this episode I share:

• What God said the first month I couldn't pay the mortgage

• Why pared-down seasons are often preparation for promotion (not punishment)

• The mattress giveaway that re-taught me what receiving really means

• The exact-dollar way God provided for the first payment after the modification

• What the prosperity gospel gets wrong, and what the Book of Job gets right

• The worship song the Holy Spirit kept playing over my heart in this season

If you're in a season where the natural circumstances don't match the promise God put in your heart — this episode is for you.

Scriptures referenced: Isaiah 43, Job

Song mentioned: "Spiral" by Hayden

If this episode helped you, the most meaningful thing you can do is leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It takes two minutes and it helps this podcast reach people who need it.

Living Born Again — my book — is available on Amazon.

In this episode of the Reflections of the Father's Heart podcast, Seth Dahl and Sandi Derby explore the importance of self-reflection and emotional connection in the face of personal trauma and grief. Sandi shares her recent experiences with loss and the impact it has had on her life, emphasizing the need to take time for oneself to process emotions and heal. They discuss the significance of recognizing emotional needs, the challenges of navigating grief, and the tools available for recovery. The conversation highlights the importance of being present with one's feelings and the role of community support in the healing journey. In this conversation, Sandi Derby and Seth Dahl explore the importance of emotional processing and the tools that can help individuals navigate their feelings, particularly in the context of grief and loss. They discuss the dangers of becoming emotional storage units and emphasize the need for healthy emotional boundaries. Sandi shares her personal experiences with these tools, highlighting their transformative power in her life. The conversation also introduces an upcoming intensive workshop designed to equip participants with these essential emotional processing tools.

In this podcast, Sandi Derby explores the often-overlooked connection between transitions and grief. She emphasizes that change, whether positive or negative, can evoke feelings of loss and sadness, and that acknowledging these emotions is crucial for personal growth and emotional health. Drawing on biblical examples, Sandi illustrates how figures like Joseph and David navigated their own transitions with emotional honesty. She encourages listeners to embrace their feelings, understand the grieving process, and recognize that it's normal to experience conflicting emotions during times of change. Ultimately, Sandi offers hope and encouragement for those facing transitions, reminding them that grieving is a natural part of the journey.

In this episode, Sandi Derby emphasizes the importance of trusting God during uncertain times. She shares personal experiences and insights on how preparation, rather than punishment, is often the divine intention behind challenging seasons. Sandi encourages listeners to embrace their journey of faith, overcome past fears, and fully surrender to God's will. The conversation highlights the need for believers to rise up and trust in God's promises, recognizing that true hope and purpose come from a deep relationship with Him.