Reframe Your Life

We had a lot of fun recording this week's episode on motivation. We were face to face recording (we are normally on Skype) and it felt good to be in the same space. 

Most of us struggle with waning motivation. We want to perform at 100% every day but in reality we have some really great days and then those Netflix binge days. 

In this episode we share our potato chip cravings, our successes and our failures when it comes to being motivated. Our conversation includes values and we decided to explore that more next week so make sure to listen to that episode as well. 

We both like Daniel Pink's work on motivation. 
 
His book is: Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us

or if you prefer the YouTube version click here. 

Let us know your thoughts on motivation. Use the hashtag #lifereframers on twitter or Instagram or share your thoughts on our Facebook page. 

And thank you for motivating us! Your thoughtful feedback and sharing our podcast has really helped us. Please continue to share what we are doing so we can build this community. Leave us feedback on iTunes and share this newsletter with anyone you know who is interested in reframing their lives.

Have you ever wished you could just quit your job, leave everything behind and head for a tropical climate to live? We think it is a fantasy we have all indulged in at some point.  Our guest this week, Jeff Hendler, didn't just fantasize about it!  He left behind a life he had spent almost two decades building and moved to Mexico. He calls it an escape and adventure. Intrigued?

On our podcast we discuss how Jeff reframed his life and what that experience taught him about change, resilience and himself. Jeff is a coach specializing in resilience. Check out his website (link below) and sign up for his podcast and newsletter to learn more about resilience.

Here are some notes from our show including links:

Find out more about Jeff Hendler

A book we can't recommend highly enough for anyone going through a change is Transitions by William Bridges. It is a classic for a reason!

Jeff also talked about The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Group. Include this book in your reading if you want to know more about resolving interpersonal conflicts.

As Jeff said, “change is bloody hard.” It takes resilience and awareness to grow through it. There were a couple of practices that were recommended to help you become more aware. They are:

1. Establish an evening gratitude practice that includes reflecting on “what went well today”
2. Reach out to people around you and make sure to spend time with people who inspire and encourage you.

There’s even more in this episode. We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed recording it.

To learn more about Sandy’s business, visit www.sandyreynolds.com

To learn more about Jo-Anne’s business, visit www.couragetolead.ca

Don’t forget, if you enjoyed this episode leave a comment on iTunes!  And email us with any feedback or suggestions - we believe in learning together. 

Thanks for being part of our community,

Jo-Anne & Sandy x

It is difficult to be aware of our assumptions, stereotypes and biases. Unfortunately, we often judge each other based on very superficial things.

In this episode we talk about unconscious bias.

Those automatic assessments we make of each other influenced by our previous experiences, culture and beliefs.  These assumptions are not true - they are things we believe are true and influence our thinking and the way we respond to people.

Here’s a list of some we talked about and a few we thought of after we recorded! You can fill in the blanks as appropriate:

• People want to have children or get married
• People with tattoos are ____________
• People over ___ years old are _________
• People who are overweight are lazy or lack self-discipline
• People without a university degree are _____________
• People who live in ____________ are _____________

You can probably think of some of your own judgements. If not ask a good friend - they will tell you what they have heard or seen.

So, how do we reframe?  

Here are some suggestions:

Reflect:  Go for a walk down the street and check what you are thinking about the people you are passing. What story are you telling about them? Where does that story come from? Is it rooted in an unconscious bias?

Review: Be self aware. engage in dialogue with people who will help you check your assumptions. Ask someone to point out any assumptions they hear you making. Warning: this could be uncomfortable.

Realign: Sometimes we find ourselves living double lives where we we are hiding our true selves from others. If your choices are counter culture reframe yourself as a trailblazer. Do a little research on the topic and find out the real data and not just the societal norms to give you courage if needed.

Recreate: Revise the story you are telling yourself so that you are the creator of something new and wonderful. Have courage to speak your truth around what you are thinking and when appropriate talk to others about their unconscious bias.  If necessary have a dialogue with a person who has challenged your thinking.  

Try this framework:
"When you said __________________. I assumed _______________. I need to hear your perspective."

You may hear some assumptions that have been made about you. Remember you can only do this with a person who is willing to have a conversation!

Links to some of the resources we mentioned:

The Minimalist's Documentary - How we can live with less.
The FIELD Collaborative - for cultural intelligence assessments
Ladder of Inference 
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
Learning in Relationship by Ronald Short

We have been enjoying your feedback as we build a community of women who want to talk about topics that make us think. Please help us spread the word! You can use the hashtag #reframers on social media. Forward this podcast post to a friend with your recommendation that they sign up. You can promise them they won't get spammed! 

Leave a comment on iTunes! Please

In this week's episode, Jo-Anne talked about how bunnies in her yard eating her tulips made her unhappy. We've all had that experience, we work hard on something only to have someone or something or some bunny (sorry couldn't resist!) derail our efforts. 

It makes us wonder: What bunnies are getting in the way of your happiness?

There are so many places to find happiness and there are many places we lose our happiness. One thing we can all agree on having more stuff doesn't make us happy. 

It's good to take some time to reflect on where you find happiness in your life.  

When are you most happy? 

Below are some links to resources we discussed this week. Enjoy reading and viewing them. 

1.  Robert Waldinger on What makes a good life. 
2.  Inside Out - movie trailers (but watch the whole movie some time!) 
3.  10% Happier by Dan Harris
4. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Reframe your life so that you are aligned with your values. When you make choices that are inconsistent with your values, you will feel more stress and less joy in your life. And think about what you are doing when you feel happiest! Find a way to incorporate more of those activities in your life. 

One thing that makes us happy is connecting with our listeners and building a community of women. Please help us spread the word! You can use the hashtag #reframers on social media.