Reframe Your Life

Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.

- Paul Valery

In order to really change your life, to Reframe Your Life, you are going to need to let go of something. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results. It is the definition of insanity to think life works that way. On our current episode, available now, we talk about some areas where you may have to let go or end things in order to move into what you really want. We know from experience this journey isn’t going to be easy!

William Bridges, in his landmark book on Transitions talks about how when we enter into transition the first step is ending. He says, “The starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to leave the old situation behind. Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.

Here are the five areas we explore in this episode that you will need to end to move forward in your life.

1. Approval: Your need for approval needs to end. When you make a big change in your life there will be doubters, naysayers, and people who don't think you should make the change. People might question your sanity - especially if you are going against the status quo.

2. People that don’t support you: Beyond their approval, you might have people who try to sabotage your change. You may find that you no longer fit with certain people as you change. We often use the quote, "My how you've changed since I've changed." It speaks to this challenge of no longer fitting with people. Your changes will make other people uncomfortable. We get this when we talk about addictions. People who have decided to quit smoking or drinking may not be comfortable hanging out with the group that supported those habits. But this happens in other areas of our life as well. You may find yourself wondering what you ever had in common with someone. It can be tough to move on but you need to make a decsion if a relationship is holding you back.

3. Circumstances: Is there a circumstance that is holding you back? You can't have it all. If you want to travel for 4 months out of the year that may get in the way of building a business or taking a course. You need to assess your reality - is there a circumstance holding you back or a perceived circumstance?

4. Beliefs/Mindsets: What is your belief about ending a new situation? What is holding you back? Do you have questions like, "who am I to do this?" Get clear on why you want to end something. Assess your beliefs and mindsets when ending or beginning something. What are you telling yourself about this change?

5. Behaviours/Habits: You can’t watch Netflix all day! Maybe, like Jo-Anne, you need to end spending a lot of time at the gym doing weights so you can create space for something else - like yoga. Listen to the episode for more details on changing habits to create space for the things you want.

Plus one:

1. Celebrate:  Don't forget to celebrate those victories around endings! You are working hard to live and lead your best life. This stuff isn't easy. Be intentional about celebrating those victories!

As we approach the final month of the year, we want you to think about Reframing 2018. We'll be continuing this conversation over the next two weeks. Start thinking about what you need to end to create space for what you want next year.

Drama is all around us. We live in a world that feeds on it. Try and think of a day when you got together with friends and no one had an interpersonal drama to talk about. It is ubiquitous. What about a day at work that didn’t involve drama with another person. Have you had one of those?

What if we told you there are three questions you could ask yourself to be well on your way to transforming your relationships? What if these questions helped you save time and energy away from drama? How would that be for a life reframe?

You are in luck! Jo-Anne is certified to deliver 3 Vital Questions - The Empowerment Dynamic (TED). A program that brings back vitality and effectiveness to your relationships. You may be familiar with the well known drama triangle. It’s where we get stuck in roles that don’t resolve the issues but perpetuate them. If you’re not, these roles are centered around a Victim mindset where we often play the role of victim, persecutor or rescuer, and sometimes all three!

In this episode Jo-Anne walks us through the questions you need to ask to move from the drama triangle to The Empowerment Dynamic.The central role here is that of creator and you can also help others by being a challenger or a coach. There is a lot of great information in this episode and Jo-Anne was just scratching the surface.

If you want to know more about how TED and the 3 Vital Questions can transform your relationships and your organization contact Jo-Anne at 226-218-8099.

CHECK OUT THIS SPECIAL OFFER FOR OUR LISTENERS: Jo-Anne is offering an opportunity to access her coaching at a discounted rate, plus sign up for her newsletter and get a free TED worksheet to get you well on the way to becoming the creator of your life. Check it out at www.couragetolead.ca

Have you ever had an experience where you meet someone and immediately connect with them? You want to schedule time to have a drink or a coffee and do a deep dive into a conversation you know will be stimulating and energetic? That's exactly how we felt when we met Patti Hall earlier this year. She was accompanying Steph Jagger, her friend and colleague, when we interviewed Steph. After the interview we had a chance to connect with Patti and knew we HAD to have her on Reframe Your Life.

Patti M Hall is a writer, ghostwriter, proud #Memoiraholic and book coach. Online Patti creates inspirational content for aspiring memoirists, wannabe writers and folks who love putting pen to paper. Patti's home is in Canada where she lives with her massive #memoir library, two giant sons and a pack of golden retrievers. Patti has lived a life that no mom chooses to live. She is the mother of a child with a rare disease. The discovery of this disease and the journey that follows is a raw and honest account of what happens in a family when a diagnosis is made. Reframing sounds inadequate to describe what she had to do.

We realized quickly into this episode that we would need more time with Patti. You'll know why when you listen to it! She is an inspiring woman with a heart for a good story and a depth that comes from having to rise up to the task of being a rare mother.

If writing your story has been something you've been considering reach out to Patti through her website. And follow her on social media - she uses :pattimhall everywhere.

It's been 60 episodes and during that time we have interviewed 15 guests. What a truly amazing experience it has been. It really is an honour to interview people and learn from them and their stories. On this episode we review lessons learned from some of our guests. We each share what actions we’ve taken as a result. We are all on this journey of living and leading our best lives. It is one thing to learn and gather information, but true leadership lies in taking action. That action could be a shift in mindset, which ultimately impacts our thoughts and our actions, or it could be larger change in the way we live and work. We invite you to join us in your own reflection and revisit some of these episodes.

So here they are in order of our discussion!

Episode 9: Our interview with Jeff Hendler on transitions and resilience.

In this episode, chosen by Sandy, we talk about resilience. How do you view resilience in your life? It's an important topic.

Jeff challenged us to think about two things:

1. How do you view the world?

2. How do you view yourself?

As a result of this episode Sandy did a lot of thinking about how she was dealing with her own story of resilience and strength. It is a very personal conversation that we hope will help anyone struggling with resilience.

Episode 17: Deborah Bakti - Embrace the Gap

Jo-Anne resonated with this interview - especially the idea of slowing down when you are in the midst of a transition. There is a stage between your current reality and your ideal vision of your future often referred to as 'the gap'. Deborah shared the GAAP acronym with us: Growth - Acceptance - Awareness and Perspective as tools for navigating the gap. As Jo-Anne identified, we can be in such a rush to get through it we we don’t embrace the gap and miss out on the growth available to us during that time. A big action Jo-Anne took as a result of this interview was to become a certified facilitator of The Empowerment Dynamic (now renamed the 3 Vital Questions - a guide to work and life). We'll be featuring more on this program in an upcoming episode.

Episode 35 - Ezzie Spencer How the moon can help you thrive

Have you ever wondered about the moon cycles? Lawyer - activist turned lunar abundance coach and author Ezzie Spencer will give you a different perspective on how the moon can be a guide to creating rhythms that bring balance into your life. This topic could easily get really woo-woo but it doesn't! In fact, it becomes quite practical and grounded. Sandy learned, "The moon cycle gives us permission to have rhythms in our life. It helps us to focus on rest and self-care and not just feeling like we should always be going/doing. It keeps us from that all or nothing way we live." And a result she has started tracking the moon and letting it inform her schedule.

Episode 28 - Erin Power: Alter your relationship with food to feel good

We interviewed Erin Power ten months ago. And it continues to be one of our most discussed episodes in conversations with our listeners. Jo-Anne has been friends with Erin since she moved to Canada and has been watching her social media as she developed her business. Erin’s story was that she was a fat, sick, fitness instructor. Jo-Anne shared, "Erin is very knowledgeable about health and fitness. When