Regretting Motherhood: A Study

By: Orna Donath Published: 2017 272 Pages

Briefly, what is this book about?

Donath interviewed 23 Israeli women who regretted motherhood. In most, but not all, cases these mothers asserted that they still loved their children, they just didn't like the responsibilities and restrictions that came with being a mother. In some cases they only realized this after having children, in other cases they knew they would regret motherhood, but reported feeling forced into it by societal, patriarchal, and pro-natal pressure.

What's the author's angle?

This book belongs to the "unsilencing" genre. Donath is "unsilencing" mothers who regret their motherhood. Whether they are actually being silenced just in Israel in 2017, or everywhere even now is a good question, but outside of the scope of this review. Donath herself does not want kids, so she's not an unbiased observer of things.

What's my angle?

This was recommended to me as a counterpoint to Hannah's Children by Cathrine Pakaluk (see my review here). I am definitely more Pakaluk's side than Donath's, but it is important to see what the opposition is saying. Nevertheless I was biased going in, and I remained biased all the way through.

Who should read this book?

If you're trying to gain a broad perspective on mother's feelings about motherhood, then this book definitely lays out one side of the debate, and you will have a broader understanding after reading it. Otherwise I would skip it.

Specific thoughts: Where will the fertility rate naturally settle?