Reinventure Me

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Reinventure Me episodes

January 14, 2016098 The power of story
You’re part of a powerful story. How you tell it can make a huge difference in your next ventures. In this episode, we talk about the importance of understanding and sharing your own story.
This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Dan Allender:
“Too many people are missing their story because they’re watching the stories of others.”
Why is it important to pay attention to and learn to tell our own stories? Telling our own stories:
Facilitates connection between us and our listener(s).
Leaves an impression with our listener(s)—sometimes a lasting one.
Provides context, reminding us that life is a story.
Reframes challenges as essential plot points in our stories.
Gives long-range perspective, reminding us that our stories aren’t over yet, and freeing us to act to change ours.
Imbues everyday moments with value, helping us embrace them and make memories worth sharing.
Fosters trust between us and our listener(s).
How do we tell our story? Think of life like a Pixar story:
“Once upon a time, _____. Every day, _______. One day, _________. Because of that, _______. Because of that, __________. Until, finally, _____________.”
Quotes from the show:
“The struggle is what people relate to, but we never want to share our struggles because we might be judged.” —Armin
“Every story is a succession of beginnings and endings.” —Leary
“We tend to focus on the success aspect of a story, and yet the place you identify [with] is in the failure.” —Leary
“There’s something about overcoming the negative things in our lives—we all have that, the triumphs over the things that hold us back.” —Leary
“Life is a mixture of both defeat and triumph—and that’s where the power of story comes in to play.” —Leary
“Everyone has a story and you should know how to share it, because there really is power behind your story.” —Armin
“It’s not about ‘Just the facts ma’am,’ as Sergeant Joe Friday would say; it’s the story behind it.” —Leary
“Even if you’re trying to get to the point or trying to have a matter-of-fact conversation, it’s the why behind the what that connects with people so you can get your point across.” —Armin
“Once you learn how a story works—how to share a story—you realize it’s the struggle that people connect with. You realize the greatest challenges of your life become the greatest stories of your life.” —Armin
“You want to create empathy with someone? Don’t tell them you understand. Talk about a time when you went through a similar thing.” —Leary
“When we embrace the fact that we are not fully writing our story—we are, in fact, characters in a bigger story—we can let go of demandingness, we can let go of fear, we can be more trusting and more hopeful, and we can embrace something that’s even bigger and grander than ourselves and making our own little padded story as nice as we can. We can say, ‘We’re part of something that’s really, really good.'” —Leary
This week’s Challenge Me:
Pick the story you want to share and go share it with someone. Be intentional, tell your story, then listen to the stories around you.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Dan Pink’s book, To Sell is Human.
Leary Gates’ review of To Sell is Human.
30 min
January 12, 2016RMT009 Cool tools on LinkedIn (with Viveka von Rosen)
Ever wonder if you’re getting the most out of LinkedIn’s communication tools? Today, we talk about some cool tools you can use to build your brand presence on LinkedIn. Think you know them all? Some of the tools might surprise you.
In this episode, LinkedIn expert Viveka von Rosen talks with Leary Gates about the fastest, most effective ways you can build your brand promise—that sense of “know, like, and trust”—using LinkedIn’s cool communication tools. Topics discussed include:
Increasing response rate with messages (rather than email).
Building brand presence by using filters to segment audiences for communication.
Expanding influence through introductions.
Sending in-mail.
Give Viveka von Rosen’s tips a try and let us know how they work for you by sharing your thoughts in the comments below.
Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that you may find helpful:
How to use LinkedIn to supercharge your next transition with Viveka von Rosen, Episode 31, provides practical tips, and a few cautions, as you prep your profile and gear up for change.
How to Use LinkedIn Publisher to Get More Visibility, an article by Viveka von Rosen, offers insight on the elements of a good post, how to determine publishing frequency, sharing best practices, and more.
B2B LinkedIn Launchpad Training Series, Viveka von Rosen’s comprehensive ebook to get you and your business off and running with using LinkedIn for B2B purposes.
13 min
January 07, 2016097 How to rebound from discouragement
Feeling down? That’s not unusual, especially in the new year. In this episode, we talk about how to rebound from discouragement.
This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Neal A. Maxwell:
“Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.”
The start of a new year can prompt discouragement. Whether the discouragement is inspired by resolutions, reflections, or realizations, there are some key truths that, when we remember them, can help. Discouragement:
Is natural.
Is temporary.
Is not the problem.
Points to a loss.
Is overcome by confidence.
Quotes from the show:
“Circumstances change and you do, too. The key is, how do we grow in our resilience to circumstance.” —Leary
“The problem is, for most of us… we think our circumstances indicate something about our value. …In some ways, that’s shame-based thinking.” —Leary
“I often think, when I’m discouraged, that I need to fix my discouragement. And that isn’t the thing that needs to get fixed. What needs to get fixed is the understanding—what that’s leading to. Discouragement is like the dashboard indicator going off—the check engine light—saying, ‘There’s something wrong inside. Take a look.'” —Leary
“Gaining courage comes from understanding something about the reason for your discouragement. Discouragement itself isn’t the problem; discouragement is the pointer that something underneath is going on.” —Leary
“We tend to believe in the zero-sum game: if somebody else is winning, we are losing. That isn’t anywhere near truth. In fact, the truth is, when we can practice gratitude, for even somebody else’s win, we win—because it transforms our thinking and it reminds us that it’s not permanent… and there have been many blessings we have received along the way.” —Leary
“[Discouragement] is overcome by confidence—confidence in God and not in yourself.” —Leary
“‘A man who always stays on his hands and knees in prayer can’t fall a very long distance. If you stay there, no matter what you deal with, your fall is short.'” —Armin quoting his pastor
This week’s Challenge Me:
Pick one of the quick pick-me-ups below and do it:
Take a shower.
Listen to uplifting music.
Go to a worship service.
Take a walk.
Write a thank you note.
Talk to a friend.
Start something you’ve been putting off.
Do an act of kindness for another.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Episode 45: “Ten habits to create a lifestyle of gratitude.”
BoldIdea Workshops in Denver, San Francisco, and Minneapolis.
40 min
December 31, 2015096 What’s your 2016 game plan?
Happy New Year! In this 2015 wrap-up edition of the Reinventure Me podcast, we ask the question: “What’s your 2016 game plan?”
Our favorite Inspire Me quote from 2015 is from Steven Pressfield, author of The Legend of Baggar Vance & The War of Art, as quoted in Episode 18: “Four things you need to know about resistance“:
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”
As we look toward 2016 and the football playoffs, it only seems fitting to ask, “What’s your game plan for 2016?” The strongest game plan incorporates both effective offensive and defensive strategies.
Offensive strategies:
Develop a growth-mindset.
Become a good apprentice; cultivate a hunger to learn.
Become a good mentor.
Set goals and write them down.
Have a vision.
Cultivate good habits.
Take time for self-reflection (journal, go on a planning retreats, seek great feedback, and practice gratitude).
Gain confidence.
Defensive strategies:
Keep proper perspective.
Be aware of and deal with your limitations.
Set personal boundaries.
Address shame-based thinking.
Remember the value of setbacks and failures.
Beat the need for approval.
Address resistance.
Quotes from the show:
“You’re not likely to win games on defense.” —Leary
“As helpful as defensive points are to a game, you can’t build your strategy just around a defensive game plan—what you’re going to resist or how you’re going to overcome the obstacles you have.” —Leary
“The best way to win is to understand and have a clear offensive strategy, which largely is around what’s your personal purpose and vision, and what are you doing with your life.” —Leary
“A defensive strategy is almost [always] where we default because we tend to move into survival mode. We think about, ‘What does it take to get from here to there?'” —Leary
“There are certain things that we propose as offensive strategies that don’t have to consume each day of your life—[they] can be done once a year, once a quarter.” —Armin
“Don’t focus all of your time and energy into what is limiting you. But at least be aware of your limiting factors, deal with them, attack them, take some kind of initiative or action, so you can give yourself a chance to put your energy where it belongs, your willpower and focus into your offensive strategy—the thing that, like Leary said, will allow you to put points on the board.” —Armin
“Don’t try to do everything at once.” —Leary
“Your future does not have to be overshadowed by the mistakes, failures, or the shortfalls that you’ve had in your past. It doesn’t have to overshadow your dreams, it doesn’t have to overshadow your future. Whatever is ahead of you, everything that’s happened—even if it’s been failure—is the exact thing you can use to create the exact kind of future that you want. You just have to believe in yourself.” —Armin
“There is a way for you to revinenture your life and pursue the dreams that you have. You don’t have to be stopped—not by you, not by people, not by circumstance, or by anything else that can get in your way. There is hope and there is a way for you to have your dreams, and age is not a factor.” —Armin
This week’s Challenge Me:
Review the offensive and defensive strategies discussed in this episode and consider which one(s) you want to incorporate into your own life in 2016. Be realistic about what’s do-able and consider incorporating the strategies that will propel you the farthest toward your goals. Take a few minutes to write them down and reinforce them by sharing with a spouse or friend.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Episode 4: “How your mindset affects your next great beginning.”
Episode 7: “Why you should be a lifelong apprentice.”
Episode 8: “How to be an intentional apprentice.”
Episode 10: “How to dream strategically.”
Episode 21: “How to create habits for your new great beginning.”
Toolbox Episode 8: “How to create habits that stick.”
Episode 24: “Why now is the best time to start journaling.”
Episode 46: “How to have a personal planning retreat.”
Episode 30: “The secret to getting great feedback.”
Episode 45: “Ten habits to create a lifestyle of gratitude.”
Episode 32: “Why confidence matters.”
Episode 73: “How to set personal boundaries.”
Episode 48: “The one thing guaranteed to hold you back.”
Episode 56: “The value of setbacks.”
Episode 89: “Five skills you can learn through failure.”
Episode 59: “How to beat the need for approval.”
Episode 18: “Four things you need to know about resistance.”
Episode 61: “How to find your persistent resistance.”
35 min
December 29, 2015RMT008 How to create habits that stick
It’s a new year—a season of new beginnings and resolutions. Unfortunately, only one out of four people who make resolutions succeeds in achieving them. What’s the secret? How do we stick to our resolutions? More importantly, how do we create habits that stick?
In this episode, Leary talks about the three key elements to creating habits that stick, and suggests some practical tips for each:
Focus: be specific, sequential, strong-willed, strategic, and right-sized.
Clarity: use precision, pairing, and planning.
Visibility: measure, monitor, and manage.
Quotes from this episode:
“You’re more likely to engage in a positive habit—something that you really want to do—than you are a negative habit—something you want to stop doing.” —Leary
“Find a keystone habit that’s important to you and that you can express in a positive [way].” —Leary
“Habits are formed from repetition…. Find a minimum effective dose that you could do that increases your probability of repetition…. Repetition is the key to making a habit work.” —Leary
“A good habit is linked to an event.” —Leary
“When you find yourself asking the question, ‘What should I do next?’ that’s a good time to add a new habit.” —Leary
“You can only manage what you can measure.” —Leary
Give these tips a try and let us know how they work for you by sharing your thoughts in the comments below.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast:
Episode 21: “How to create habits for your next great beginning“
Episode 51: “What you need to know about willpower“
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Read Leary’s review of Duhigg’s book.
iPhone Strides app
11 min
December 24, 2015095 Christmas: The greatest new beginning.
It’s Christmas. What can we learn from that first Christmas about our next great beginning? This is a special Christmas edition of the Reinventure Me podcast.
This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Luke 2:14, when the angels proclaimed to the shepherds:
“Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”
This podcast is all about finding our next great beginning. As we near the end of 2015 and start thinking about what 2016 might bring, it’s fitting to consider what lessons we might learn from Christmas, the greatest next beginning of all: when God became man.
Here’s what we can learn from that first Christmas about our next great beginning:
It may be humble… or humbling.
Our growth may depend on others.
Our paths will be our own.
Quotes from the show:
“How much do we need to have the recognition of others to feel good about the path that we’re on? … That path that we’re on might just call us to humility.” —Leary
“Part of that humility … is you give up the demandingness of being in control.” —Leary
“God put inside that Christ child everything that He needed in order to make that [His mission] happen. That’s true for us, as well. I believe that all of us have a gift that God has put inside of us for our own mission. And your path is yours alone. It isn’t anyone else’s.” —Leary
“You’re the only one there is. Stop trying to be anyone else.” —Leary
“We need to embrace what we are called to do. No one else can do that. No one else can run our race.” —Leary
“What if God truly did design every single person with a significant divine purpose, to be just as influential as anyone else—only if you could truly tap into that and be who you are, rather than imitate someone you’re not.” —Armin
“We don’t have a perfect life, but we have all of the resources that we need to do what pleases God with our lives. And that is enough.” —Leary
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Visit BoldIdeaWorks.com for more information on Leary’s upcoming BoldIdea workshops in Minneapolis, Denver, and San Francisco.
Episode 6: “How to be a better beginner.”
27 min
December 17, 2015094 How shame affects leadership. Yours and theirs.
It’s everywhere around you… and likely within you. If you’re a leader, you’re even more susceptible to it. The “it”? Shame. In this episode, we’ll be talking about how shame affects leadership. Yours and theirs.
This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Shame can prevent us from moving forward with confidence, hindering our ventures. Leaders are particularly prone to shame because leaders put themselves out there, are more susceptible to criticism, and have disproportionate influence on others.
Anything that holds us back from what we really want we need to understand.
So, why is shame bad, exactly?
Shame distorts reality, amplifying criticism and muting praise.
Shame lessens your voice.
Shame makes you less likely to build into others.
Shame harbors grudges.
Shame derails what’s best for the team.
What can we do about it? Remember “AAA”:
Assess. Develop an awareness of when shame hits you.
Accept. Accept yourself and your past. Remember: forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past.
Ask. Take the posture of a learner; it increases shame-resiliency.
Quotes from the show:
“When reality is distorted and you start hearing criticism where there isn’t, you start multiplying critics where there’s not. Where people are neutral toward you, you behave like they are your enemies.” —Leary
“Shame distorts reality. They might not be a critic, but you think they are, so you role-play all the different ways they might criticize you, and, pretty soon, you hate them…. But it’s not them criticizing you; it’s your imagination about how they might be criticizing you.” —Leary
“You put this lens on your eyes that says, ‘This person thinks this of me,’ without you having any other facts, and every time you see them, every eyebrow raised, anytime they look at you from the corner of their eye, ‘Oh, there it is.'” —Armin
“When we are leading in shame, all of the focus is on ourselves and our needs, and we become ego-centric leaders.” —Leary
“You can put parameters around asking…. You don’t have to just ask and stand there naked, waiting to be shot.” —Armin
“Be vulnerable…. It’s worth it. You become a stronger, better person than you ever thought you could be.” —Armin
This week’s Challenge Me:
As you listened to this episode, what struck a chord with you? Ask yourself, “What matches my experience and why is this resonating?” Lean into that. You might discover shame-based thinking is holding you or your venture back. Then, throughout the rest of today, make it a point to practice the Triple As—Assess, Accept, and Ask—and watch what happens.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Visit BoldIdeaWorks.com for more information on Leary’s upcoming BoldIdea workshops in Minneapolis, Denver, and San Francisco.
Episode 48: “The one thing guaranteed to hold you back“
Episode 4: “How mindset affects your next great beginning“
34 min
December 15, 2015RMT007 How to handle objections (with guest Steve Kloyda)
So, you’ve gotten in the door and pitched your idea or venture to a few people, but they aren’t interested. How do you handle their objections? Your response makes a world of difference—for them, for you, and for your venture.
In this episode, prospecting expert Steve Kloyda talks about how to handle others’ objections to our ideas. His tips:
Listen. Don’t get offensive when others object or don’t respond favorably to our inquiry or invitation.
Ask questions. Try to understand the other person’s point-of-view.
Remember the ABCs: Don’t argue, don’t battle, don’t contradict. You don’t have to fight to prove you’re right.
Get off of the objection. Refocus on the purpose of the call.
Quotes from this episode:
“I’ve spent the last 35 years of my life teaching people how to, what I call, not to overcome the objection—because when you overcome, somebody wins and someone loses—how to work with the objection.” —Steve
“It applies the classical Art of War training: where you work with them, rather than resist them. Because the more you resist, the more you create an argument and the less likely you break down the defenses.” —Leary
“When we’re engaged with people we’ve never met before, we’re automatically on the defense…. Listening is the best way to bring a defense down because it creates empathy.” —Leary
“The ABCs of working with objections: don’t argue with people, don’t do battle with them, don’t contradict everything that they say. Period. End of story.” —Steve
Have you found other ways to effectively handle objections? Share your tips in the comments below.
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast:
Steve Kloyda’s website: theprospectingexpert.com
Dan Pink’s book, To Sell is Human
Leary Gates’ review of To Sell is Human
8 min
December 10, 2015093 When I relax, I feel guilty
Busy. Busy. Busy. We can get so busy and so pressed by activity that, when we finally relax, we feel guilty. What’s up with that? We talk about this unhelpful phenomenon in today’s Reinventure Me podcast.
This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Albert Einstein:
“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
Guilt is often a good thing, but not when it comes to relaxing. Why do we feel guilty when we relax? It may be because we are avoiding something, we are over-functioning, or we haven’t accepted our limitations. How do we address these feelings of guilt?
Reframe relaxation as a renewal strategy vs. an escape.
Remember its importance. Relaxation accelerates learning, detoxifies stress, and increases focus and productivity.
Be intentional. Schedule relaxation, be fully present, and commit to the full time.
Affirm its value when returning to work: “I have just given myself a break and I’m in better shape than I was before” and “There are new ideas and energy that I have yet to unlock as I work on this project.”
Remember the why when disengaging and re-engaging. “This work is important because ___________.”
Quotes from the show:
“If we’re truly living, if we’re truly doing inspirational work, then we’re always going to have more than we can do—because we’ll always be thinking creatively about what it is that we are doing.” —Leary
“The real work isn’t in creating the things to do, it’s in picking the the very best of the things that we have in front of us.” —Leary
“Don’t shut down your idea factory. Use it to generate the best and pick from the best—not with the need that you have to do it all.” —Leary
“We need relaxation in order to become revitalized.” —Leary
“We need to think about it [relaxing] as a renewal strategy, not an escape.” —Leary
“I don’t know that God needed rest. I think God rested because that’s what you do when you create. That’s part of the creative process. You create and you rest, you create and you rest. That’s part of the creative cycle.” —Leary
This week’s Challenge Me:
Think about how you can intentionally build relaxation into your schedule. Then, schedule it in. Start practicing being fully present during these times of relaxation. Affirm the value of relaxing when you return to work. Then, observe what happens!
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
Episode 40, “How to stop wasting time.”
Leary’s blog post, “My good work and good rest checklist.”
31 min
December 03, 2015092 Feeling unqualified may be a good thing (with guest Dr. Michelle Watson)
Are you feeling unqualified to do what God’s calling you to do? That may be a good thing. Dr. Michelle Watson shares why it was a good thing in her life in today’s episode.
In June 2009, Dr. Michelle Watson felt prompted by God to give up several activities near and dear to her heart: writing a book, publishing research on eating disorders, speaking, and adjunct teaching. Just about everything she had been pursuing was put on hold.
That December, Dr. Watson read Luke 1:17, where Zachariah is told that his son would turn fathers’ hearts to their children. At that moment, the Lord said, “Michelle, that’s what I want you to do.” But Dr. Watson wasn’t a man or a father—was she really the right person for this assignment?
Dr. Watson emailed 11 fathers, inviting them to participate in an experiment: they would meet together monthly to see if they saw healing or growth in their relationships with their daughters. All but one agreed, and they ended up meeting for a year, in awe of the restored relationships they witnessed. The father who declined to participate was so moved by the results he heard about, he joined a second group Dr. Watson started. That was the birth of The Abba Project.
What can we learn from Dr. Watson’s journey?
God calls the unqualified.
Create margin. It makes room for something better.
Make a list of crazy ideas.
Remember: God wastes nothing.
Act at the right time. Wait for God’s leading. Don’t overthink it.
Avoid comparison. Your venture is not the same as another’s.
Quotes from Dr. Michelle Watson and Leary:
“‘Aren’t you going to wait for God to confirm that?’ I said, ‘What are you talking about? He told me to give it up. Why wouldn’t I just do that?'” —Dr. Watson
“I heard God say, ‘I want to blow you away with the doors I open for you, not the doors you open for you.'” —Dr. Watson
“Pull back on the throttle. Enjoy the scenery because He’s always up to something.” —Dr. Watson
“If God builds it. They will come.” —Dr. Watson
“It’s easy to diminish your own value. One of the quickest ways to do that is to take inventory of everybody who’s doing something that you’re doing.” —Leary
“Make a list of all of your crazy ideas and say, ‘God birthed this in me. You will carry it to completion.’ Don’t fight with the Almighty. He’s got something up His sleeves…. The Father loves giving good gifts.” —Dr. Watson
“Nothing in your life is wasted. You might wonder why you’re doing things and why stuff has happened. But when you get down the road, things really start to bolt together.” —Leary
This week’s Challenge Me:
Take 10 minutes to think about and write down some of the crazy ideas that have been inside you. Consider what God has given you—skills, resources, education, passion, etc. How might these play a role in making those crazy ideas come to life? Is there anything God is asking you to give up, to be able to make room for something better?
Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:
DrMichelleWatson.com: Dr. Watson’s website.
The Abba Project: more information about Dr. Watson’s nine-month group forum to help fathers connect with their daughters’ hearts.
Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You: A Guide to Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart
“The question you should never stop asking,” Episode 1.
36 min

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