Reinventure Me

Accountability’s got a bad rap—understandably. It’s been misused. Accountability, done right, can be a powerful transformation strategy.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Theodore Roosevelt:

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.“

How does the topic of accountability relate to transition and reinventuring yourself? Accountability—done well—is one of the most effective tools you can add to your toolbox.

It’s easy, when we’re trying to reinvent ourselves and fail, to cast the blame on others. That victim mentality is nothing more than our ego defending itself, though. It’s easier to find fault in others than to own our mistakes. That’s what makes the Roosevelt quote so potent: the fault is usually ours. As soon as we own it, we create a formula for success.

Why is accountability important? It makes it possible for us to:

Accomplish goals. Accountability fast-tracks our ability to make our goals, hopes, dreams, and prayers a reality.

Run our lives, rather than letting our lives run us. Making ourselves accountable to others gives us a sense of control.

Look forward. Accountability can give us a solid offensive strategy for our future.

Accountability is not an intervention—it’s an invitation. We give others—three or four people of the same gender—permission to speak into our lives when we:

This week’s Challenge Me:

Think about your current support structure. What changes can you make to help you stay on track or get to where you want to go faster?

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

This toolbox episode offers five tips on how to journal more consistently.

This is the first of the Reinventure Me Toolbox episodes; a new show format that we are adding to offer quick tips to help you in your venture.

In this episode Leary shares five tips for creating more consistency in your journaling:

If you journal, share your tips in the comments area below and let us know what you think about this new show format.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

We all know them–sometimes all too well. Toxic people. They leave us feeling worse after being with them. Here’s how to handle toxic people.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Bob Marley:

“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.“

Toxic people take something from you. Without asking. We can respond to them in one of three ways:

Spread the toxins. We can respond in anger and end up fanning the toxins further.

Run from the toxins. Avoiding toxic people altogether, especially those important to us, doesn’t fix the situation and often makes it worse.

Contain the toxins. Engaging the toxic person dispassionately about their abusive behaviors.

This simple “toxic triage” can help you put together your personal game-plan for handing a toxic person:

This week’s Challenge Me:

Use the toxic triage on someone who might be spreading toxins in your life.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

You have an incredible power locked inside of you. It can literally soothe the fiercest anger and turn back those opposed to you. It’s the surprising power of empathy.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Plato:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Empathy is a powerful asset. It can soothe the anger of others and influence their perceptions. Empathy can be developed, but to do so requires intentionality.

Everyone is judged by others. Whenever we feel judged, we are less likely to share our weaknesses, and less willing to seek help from others. This often happens in our church communities where a culture of expectation to appear “together” may be high. This is especially pronounced when a member of that community commits a grievous sin and the attention of the community turns toward judgment and damage control, rather than restoration.

Empathy is a recognition that everyone, ourselves include, are broken. We are all, as Plato said, fighting a hard battle. The key to increasing empathy is to development the mindset that others brokenness is no worse than our own.

When we feel threatened, perhaps by the behavior of another, the amygdala portion of our brain takes over and we are literally unable to access the prefrontal cortex where empathy can be expressed. Listening activates the prefrontal cortex and shuts down the amygdala response. So, to develop empathy, look for the critical triggers you have and find ways to explore what might be happening with the other person.

This episode’s Challenge Me:

The next time you find yourself thinking critically of another, ask yourself how you might better understand their situation.

The dreaded social gathering. Whether a office party or a formal networking event, here’s some tips on how to work a room.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Frederick L. Collins:

“There are two types of people – those who come into a room and say, ‘Well, here I am!’ and those who come in and say, ‘Ah, there you are.'”

The key to working a room so that you don’t come across slimy or shallow is to think of it as mission field. You are planting seeds rather than harvesting. Seed planting is giving. Harvesting is taking away.

Three good reasons you should practice the art of working a room:

How to enter a conversation:

How to start a conversation:

How to disengage from a conversation:

This week’s Challenge Me:

At your next social gathering give one of these a try, or leave some tips on the show notes for this episode about how you work a room.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

You feel like you’re in a cul-de-sac and need to make a big change. Here’s your mental game plan for rebuilding your future.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is:

“Before you climb the ladder of success, make sure it’s not leaning on the wrong wall.” — Unknown

This episode is for those who know they need to take a much different path than they’ve been on. You may feel like you’re in a cul-de-sac and need to turn around and find another road. Perhaps you’re burned out, or are not joyful in your work. You may have done the same thing for a long time that they don’t know how to even imagine doing something else

In facing any significant transition it’s importance to create a mental game plan—truths you can remember. Here are five you can put on your wall or in your wallet.

This week’s Challenge Me:

Create your own mental game plan list of truths and post it. Review it. Act on it.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

Do you like to play it safe? If it’s not broke, don’t fix it? Maybe the whole idea of taking risk scares you. Here’s how to take risks—safely.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from comedian Jim Carrey:

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

Ninety percent of people have regret about something in their lives—and, often it’s about the risks they didn’t take.

There are plenty of good reasons to take risk. Here are just three:

Taking risk is an act of faith. Not a blind faith, but an informed one. There’s a difference between venturing and adventuring. Venturing is for the long-haul and benefits others. Adventuring is for personal entertainment.

We may not take risk out of fear of loss (usually economic loss) or because it may preclude us from keeping other options open.

There are three steps to taking risk safely:

List your fears into two categories: excuses and challenges. This helps bring clarity on what is really possible.

This week’s Challenge Me:

First place to start, identify the risk you might be resisting. When you listened to this episode, was there something that kept coming to mind? What’s the smallest, but effective, step you could take with it?

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

There’s a career and different future you’d like to have, but your present demands keep you from getting there. Maybe it’s time to build a bridge to your future.

In this episode, Leary, Armin and Jesse talked about Jesse’s desires for his future and some of the struggles he faces balancing the demands of a business that make it profitable to travel and the desires to remain close to home to be with his family and pursue his ministry passions. The key is to find ways for one to lead to another; building a bridge rather than a plank.

Join in on the conversation by leaving a comment on our show notes. Leave us a note to let us know what you think about the Reinventure Me Clinic format. If you’d like to appear on a future Reinventure Me Clinic show, please contact us.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

Dreams have a cost. And some of the biggest payers are those you love. Here’s what you can do about the sacrifice those you love are making for it.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from business leader Guy Kawasaki:

“Work the edges. What really matters happens at the edges – that is, where one surface or material meets or changes into another – is a key principle of architecture. The action is not in the centers or areas of sameness.”

Pursuing your dream is working the edges. That’s where tension lies. A natural tension exists between pursuing your dream and preserving comfort. Everyone has different risk tolerance and safety levels, principally around our time and our finances.

You may not be fully not aware of the sacrifices others make for your dream, particularly if your an optimist.

What can you do about it? Here are some suggestions:

This week’s Challenge Me:

Ask your spouse or significant other about their dream and how you can better support them.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

There’s power in planning. But good planning doesn’t have to mean the death of spontaneity.

This week’s Inspire Me quote:

“Some of the most thrilling things in life are done on impulse.”—Unknown

There are many good reasons to practice spontaneity:

There’s also a lot of power in planning:

A good plan that keeps spontaneity alive is:

This week’s Challenge Me:

If you’re a planner, try plan some spontaneity in your life. If you’re spontaneous, try to spontaneously put a plan together. Either way, try to strike a balance between the two.