As my work with clients has deepened, I’ve noticed that almost everyone eventually arrives at the same layer underneath it all: I’m not enough, I’m too much, there’s something inherently wrong with me. Some clients don’t resonate with the word shame at all, but the moment I mention feeling not enough, they recognize it immediately. That connection is what sparked this conversation.In this episode, I’m so excited to welcome Rachel Kelly back to the podcast. Rachel was my very first guest and has been my personal mentor over the last nine months, walking me through healing my own not enough wound. Together we explore what shame actually is, why it’s so hard to feel, and how much we unconsciously organize our lives and relationships around avoiding it.This episode is for anyone who has spent years trying to prove their worth, who feels the grip of anxious attachment the moment a partner pulls away, or who has quietly made being single mean something about them.In this episode:<ul><li>What shame is, why it can feel like you’re going to die, and why it’s so closely tied to our need for belonging</li><li>How the not enough wound forms in small, everyday moments of childhood, often through our parents’ own unhealed wounds</li><li>The way not enough and fear of loss fuel each other in anxious attachment</li><li>The shame triangle (inner critic, shame part, and rescuer) and how it shows up when a partner gives you feedback</li><li>How to be with the physical sensation of shame without feeding the stories it tells you about yourself</li><li>Why so many single people believe something is wrong with them, and how to stop pedestaling romantic partnership</li><li>My own story of uncovering my not enough wound with Rachel, and the grief I found underneath the shame</li></ul>Key takeaways:<ul><li>Shame often hides behind more familiar language like not enough, too much, or even anxiety, so sometimes the simplest doorway in is asking what you feel when you feel not enough</li><li>The only way out of anxious attachment is through, which means making a different choice and letting yourself feel the discomfort that comes with it</li><li>When you get stuck in the stories, you’re avoiding the feeling, and coming back to the physical sensation is what allows shame to actually move through your body</li><li>Shame carries real wisdom when we build enough safety to listen to it, and there is often a layer of grief waiting underneath</li><li>Treating what’s already in your life as enough is a powerful practice for tending the not enough wound from the outside in</li></ul>Reflection question: What if the things in your life weren’t confirmation that you’re not enough, but a reflection of a belief that’s ready to shift?About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams.Connect with Rachel<ul><li><a href='https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kelly_coaching/'>Instagram</a></li><li><a href='https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkellycoaching?_r=1&_t=ZT-939h1jQNgDu'>TikTok</a> </li><li><a href='https://open.spotify.com/show/57DwWB1J9bxmzJMlI2wOZq?si=Bw_izdl6Q7uw6Y1oZGXxag&utm_source=copy-link'>Podcast</a></li><li><a href='https://rachel-kelly.mykajabi.com/'>Website</a></li></ul>Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href='https://stan.store/LindseyBourne'>How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

As my work with clients has deepened, I’ve noticed that almost everyone eventually arrives at the same layer underneath it all: I’m not enough, I’m too much, there’s something inherently wrong with me. Some clients don’t resonate with the word shame at all, but the moment I mention feeling not enough, they recognize it immediately. That connection is what sparked this conversation. In this episode, I’m so excited to welcome Rachel Kelly back to the podcast. Rachel was my very first guest and has been my personal mentor over the last nine months, walking me through healing my own not enough wound. Together we explore what shame actually is, why it’s so hard to feel, and how much we unconsciously organize our lives and relationships around avoiding it. This episode is for anyone who has spent years trying to prove their worth, who feels the grip of anxious attachment the moment a partner pulls away, or who has quietly made being single mean something about them. In this episode:What shame is, why it can feel like you’re going to die, and why it’s so closely tied to our need for belongingHow the not enough wound forms in small, everyday moments of childhood, often through our parents’ own unhealed woundsThe way not enough and fear of loss fuel each other in anxious attachmentThe shame triangle (inner critic, shame part, and rescuer) and how it shows up when a partner gives you feedbackHow to be with the physical sensation of shame without feeding the stories it tells you about yourselfWhy so many single people believe something is wrong with them, and how to stop pedestaling romantic partnershipMy own story of uncovering my not enough wound with Rachel, and the grief I found underneath the shameKey takeaways:Shame often hides behind more familiar language like not enough, too much, or even anxiety, so sometimes the simplest doorway in is asking what you feel when you feel not enoughThe only way out of anxious attachment is through, which means making a different choice and letting yourself feel the discomfort that comes with itWhen you get stuck in the stories, you’re avoiding the feeling, and coming back to the physical sensation is what allows shame to actually move through your bodyShame carries real wisdom when we build enough safety to listen to it, and there is often a layer of grief waiting underneathTreating what’s already in your life as enough is a powerful practice for tending the not enough wound from the outside inReflection question: What if the things in your life weren’t confirmation that you’re not enough, but a reflection of a belief that’s ready to shift? About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams. Connect with RachelInstagramTikTok PodcastWebsiteConnect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners!

As my work with clients has deepened, I’ve noticed that almost everyone eventually arrives at the same layer underneath it all: I’m not enough, I’m too much, there’s something inherently wrong with me. Some clients don’t resonate with the word shame at all, but the moment I mention feeling not enough, they recognize it immediately. That connection is what sparked this conversation.In this episode, I’m so excited to welcome Rachel Kelly back to the podcast. Rachel was my very first guest and has been my personal mentor over the last nine months, walking me through healing my own not enough wound. Together we explore what shame actually is, why it’s so hard to feel, and how much we unconsciously organize our lives and relationships around avoiding it.This episode is for anyone who has spent years trying to prove their worth, who feels the grip of anxious attachment the moment a partner pulls away, or who has quietly made being single mean something about them.In this episode:<ul><li>What shame is, why it can feel like you’re going to die, and why it’s so closely tied to our need for belonging</li><li>How the not enough wound forms in small, everyday moments of childhood, often through our parents’ own unhealed wounds</li><li>The way not enough and fear of loss fuel each other in anxious attachment</li><li>The shame triangle (inner critic, shame part, and rescuer) and how it shows up when a partner gives you feedback</li><li>How to be with the physical sensation of shame without feeding the stories it tells you about yourself</li><li>Why so many single people believe something is wrong with them, and how to stop pedestaling romantic partnership</li><li>My own story of uncovering my not enough wound with Rachel, and the grief I found underneath the shame</li></ul>Key takeaways:<ul><li>Shame often hides behind more familiar language like not enough, too much, or even anxiety, so sometimes the simplest doorway in is asking what you feel when you feel not enough</li><li>The only way out of anxious attachment is through, which means making a different choice and letting yourself feel the discomfort that comes with it</li><li>When you get stuck in the stories, you’re avoiding the feeling, and coming back to the physical sensation is what allows shame to actually move through your body</li><li>Shame carries real wisdom when we build enough safety to listen to it, and there is often a layer of grief waiting underneath</li><li>Treating what’s already in your life as enough is a powerful practice for tending the not enough wound from the outside in</li></ul>Reflection question: What if the things in your life weren’t confirmation that you’re not enough, but a reflection of a belief that’s ready to shift?About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams.Connect with Rachel<ul><li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kelly_coaching/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram</a></li><li><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkellycoaching?_r=1&amp;_t=ZT-939h1jQNgDu" rel="noopener noreferrer">TikTok</a>&nbsp;</li><li><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/57DwWB1J9bxmzJMlI2wOZq?si=Bw_izdl6Q7uw6Y1oZGXxag&amp;utm_source=copy-link" rel="noopener noreferrer">Podcast</a></li><li><a href="https://rachel-kelly.mykajabi.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Website</a></li></ul>Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href="https://stan.store/LindseyBourne" rel="noopener noreferrer">How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! &lt;3

Why We Never Feel Enough: Shame & Self-Worth in Relationships with Rachel Kelly

Have you ever done all the work, read all the books, understood your attachment style, and then gotten into a relationship and found yourself right back in the same patterns?That's where Lizzy was when she found me. Painfully self-aware, years of therapy under her belt, and still getting activated in ways she couldn't shift in the moment. In this episode, I'm bringing a former client onto the podcast for the first time to share her story, her experience of our work together, and what actually allowed her to create change.This episode is for anyone who knows their attachment style, understands where it came from, and still feels like their nervous system takes over the moment relationships start to deepen.In this episode:<ul><li>Why insight alone is often not enough to shift deep relational patterns</li><li>What somatic parts work actually looks like in practice, through Lizzy's real experience</li><li>The "not enough" wound, where it comes from, and how it shows up in dating</li><li>How to tell the difference between your own projection and genuine incompatibility</li><li>What it feels like when grief actually metabolizes from your body rather than just being managed</li></ul>Key takeaways:<ul><li>You can't do all your healing alone. Some wounds only reveal themselves in relationship</li><li>Triggers are not the enemy. They're a roadmap back to the parts of you still needing tending</li><li>Worthiness isn't just a belief. It's something that has to shift in your body to change how you show up in relationships.</li><li>The goal isn't a perfectly calm, regulated nervous system. It's a flexible one</li></ul>Reflection question: What if your triggers weren't evidence that something is wrong, but a roadmap back to the parts of you that are asking for your attention?Connect with LizzyIG: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lizzyfromtheblock__/'>@lizzyfromtheblock__</a>Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href='https://stan.store/LindseyBourne'>How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

Have you ever done all the work, read all the books, understood your attachment style, and then gotten into a relationship and found yourself right back in the same patterns? That's where Lizzy was when she found me. Painfully self-aware, years of therapy under her belt, and still getting activated in ways she couldn't shift in the moment. In this episode, I'm bringing a former client onto the podcast for the first time to share her story, her experience of our work together, and what actually allowed her to create change. This episode is for anyone who knows their attachment style, understands where it came from, and still feels like their nervous system takes over the moment relationships start to deepen. In this episode:Why insight alone is often not enough to shift deep relational patternsWhat somatic parts work actually looks like in practice, through Lizzy's real experienceThe "not enough" wound, where it comes from, and how it shows up in datingHow to tell the difference between your own projection and genuine incompatibilityWhat it feels like when grief actually metabolizes from your body rather than just being managedKey takeaways:You can't do all your healing alone. Some wounds only reveal themselves in relationshipTriggers are not the enemy. They're a roadmap back to the parts of you still needing tendingWorthiness isn't just a belief. It's something that has to shift in your body to change how you show up in relationships.The goal isn't a perfectly calm, regulated nervous system. It's a flexible oneReflection question: What if your triggers weren't evidence that something is wrong, but a roadmap back to the parts of you that are asking for your attention? Connect with Lizzy IG: @lizzyfromtheblock__ Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners!

Have you ever done all the work, read all the books, understood your attachment style, and then gotten into a relationship and found yourself right back in the same patterns?That's where Lizzy was when she found me. Painfully self-aware, years of therapy under her belt, and still getting activated in ways she couldn't shift in the moment. In this episode, I'm bringing a former client onto the podcast for the first time to share her story, her experience of our work together, and what actually allowed her to create change.This episode is for anyone who knows their attachment style, understands where it came from, and still feels like their nervous system takes over the moment relationships start to deepen.In this episode:<ul><li>Why insight alone is often not enough to shift deep relational patterns</li><li>What somatic parts work actually looks like in practice, through Lizzy's real experience</li><li>The "not enough" wound, where it comes from, and how it shows up in dating</li><li>How to tell the difference between your own projection and genuine incompatibility</li><li>What it feels like when grief actually metabolizes from your body rather than just being managed</li></ul>Key takeaways:<ul><li>You can't do all your healing alone. Some wounds only reveal themselves in relationship</li><li>Triggers are not the enemy. They're a roadmap back to the parts of you still needing tending</li><li>Worthiness isn't just a belief. It's something that has to shift in your body to change how you show up in relationships.</li><li>The goal isn't a perfectly calm, regulated nervous system. It's a flexible one</li></ul>Reflection question: What if your triggers weren't evidence that something is wrong, but a roadmap back to the parts of you that are asking for your attention?Connect with LizzyIG: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lizzyfromtheblock__/" rel="noopener noreferrer">@lizzyfromtheblock__</a>Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href="https://stan.store/LindseyBourne" rel="noopener noreferrer">How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! &lt;3

A Client Story: How to Turn Relationship Triggers Into Healing

Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships? Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change?Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves.Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href='https://stan.store/LindseyBourne'>How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships? Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change? Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves. Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners!

Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships? Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change?Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves.Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Get on the waitlist for early access + discounted pricing for or my interactive guidebook, <a href="https://stan.store/LindseyBourne" rel="noopener noreferrer">How to Actually Move Through the Power Struggle</a> If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! &lt;3

Relational Alchemy

Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the relationship patterns we live out — and how those patterns hold the key to our deepest healing. Hosted by relationship coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast explores attachment styles, nervous system healing, emotional triggers, subconscious beliefs, and the protective strategies we develop in response to early relational wounds. Each week, through personal reflections, conversations with practitioners, and stories of transformation, we examine how patterns like anxious attachment, avoidance, people-pleasing, codependency, shutdown, and self-abandonment show up in our relationships — and how they can be softened, understood, and transformed. Rooted in trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-based perspectives, Relational Alchemy offers a grounded, compassionate approach to relational healing. This podcast is for anyone longing for deeper self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and relationships that feel grounded, secure, and meaningful — with themselves and with others.

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Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the relationship patterns we live out — and how those patterns hold the key to our deepest healing. Hosted by relationship coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast explores attachment styles, nervous system healing, emotional triggers, subconscious beliefs, and the protective strategies we develop in response to early relational wounds. Each week, through personal reflections, conversations with practitioners, and stories of transformation, we examine how patterns like anxious attachment, avoidance, people-pleasing, codependency, shutdown, and self-abandonment show up in our relationships — and how they can be softened, understood, and transformed. Rooted in trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-based perspectives, Relational Alchemy offers a grounded, compassionate approach to relational healing. This podcast is for anyone longing for deeper self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and relationships that feel grounded, secure, and meaningful — with themselves and with others.

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