Emotional intelligence is not about being perfect.

It is about being governed.

As believers, we don’t strive for control in our own strength—we yield to the Spirit of God, who produces self-control within us.

A quick acknowledgement and appreciation of my global audience. Thanks for all the support!♥️♥️♥️

God is not asking you to fix yourself in your own strength—He is inviting you to see differently, so you can begin to live differently.

Because when your eyes open, your choices can change. And when your choices change, your patterns begin to break.

One of the hardest things to admit as believers is that sometimes what we call God is actually loneliness.

Loneliness is not a sin.

But when it becomes a decision-maker, it can lead us away from wisdom.

Purpose-driven dating asks the right questions:

• ​Is there alignment? Or just vibes…
• ​Is there consistency? What is the pattern?
• ​Is there growth already happening?

Not potential growth. Not future promises.

But evidence of growth now.

In this episode we discuss extensively a chapter from my book, The One You Marry, which is available to you now on my digital store https://selar.com/m/fredaajayi

Check it out!

In seasons of waiting, God is often doing deep work beneath the surface—shaping your heart, strengthening your character, refining your discernment, and preparing you for the covenant you are believing for. What feels like delay to us is often preparation in the hands of God.

Scripture reminds us that wisdom sometimes involves restraint in our words and decisions. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Taking time to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully helps maintain peace in relationships.

When you walk in obedience to God’s wisdom, peace often follows. You are no longer driven by pressure, guilt, or the need to please everyone. Instead, your decisions flow from a place of clarity and conviction.

Chemistry may draw two people together, but character, agreement in values and faith determines whether they can truly walk together.

You carry the life of Christ. You carry His righteousness. You carry His victory. That means your posture in life is not desperation; it is confidence. It is not heaviness; it is hope.

The word “Submission” could cause some people panic if you have the wrong perspective about it. Let’s dig in!