This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Daniel S. Lobel, PhD author of When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder

About the book:

In this groundbreaking book, psychologist Daniel Lobel offers essential skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you understand your daughter’s disorder, define appropriate boundaries, put an end to daily emergencies, and rebuild the family’s structure from the ground up.

If you have a daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may feel frustration, shame, and your family may be at the breaking point dealing with angry outbursts, threats, and constant emergencies. You may even feel guilty for not enjoying spending time with your child—but how can you when her behavior is abusive toward you and the rest of your family? You need solid skills you can use now to help your daughter and hold your family together.

In this important guide, you’ll learn real solutions and strategies based in proven-effective DBT and CBT to help you weather the storm of BPD and restore a sense of normalcy and balance in your life. You’ll find an overview of BPD so you can better understand the driving forces behind your daughter’s difficult behavior. You’ll discover how you can help your daughter get the help she needs while also setting boundaries that foster respect and self-care for you and others in your family. And, most importantly, you’ll learn “emergency parenting techniques” to help you put a stop to abusive patterns and restore peace.

If your daughter has BPD and your family is struggling to make it through each day, this book offers essential skills to help you cope and recover a sense of stability.

About the author:

Daniel S. Lobel, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and has given classes at both State University of New York (SUNY) at Purchase and the State University of New York College of Optometry. He has written chapters in many textbooks and contributes frequently as a guest blogger on the Psychology Today website. Lobel is a psychologist with a private practice. He resides in Katonah, NY.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD author of Mindfulness for Teen Worry: Quick & Easy Strategies to Let Go of Anxiety, Worry & Stress

About the book:

Is your worrying keeping you from reaching your goals? In Mindfulness for Teen Worry, a clinical psychologist offers quick, easy-to-learn mindfulness skills teens can use anytime, anywhere to stop worries from growing and taking over.

Let’s face it—being a teen isn’t easy. And if you’re like a lot of other teens, you probably worry about getting good grades, fitting in with a certain crowd, or what the future will bring after high school. These are all completely normal worries, and signs that you are tuned in to your life and thinking about your goals. But what about chronic worrying—the kind that keeps you up at night, ruminating about that paper you just turned in, or that thing your friend said to you at lunch (what did she mean by that?), and so on. Sometimes worrying isn’t helpful. In fact, it can get in the way of living your life! So, how can you start putting worry in its place before it takes up too much head space?

Mindfulness for Teen Worry will show you how living in the moment will dissolve worry and help you stay grounded in the here and now. You’ll learn powerful and easy-to-use mindfulness skills to manage the four most common worry struggles teens face: school pressure, coping with friendship and relationship problems, improving body image, and handling family conflicts. You’ll discover why you worry and the long-term destructive impacts worry can have on your life. And most importantly, you’ll be introduced to simple, effective techniques to help you become more mindful—like harnessing the power of the breath and how to relax your body in times of stress.

If you struggle with worry or anxiety that gets in the way of being your best, this fun and friendly guide will help you maintain a mindful life in a frenzied world.

About the author:

Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, is a psychologist with over thirty years’ experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy. He holds a PhD in counseling psychology from the University at Albany, State University of New York, and completed his postdoctoral internship at the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services at the University of Pennsylvania. He has served as an expert advisor for The Today Show, Court TV, CBS Eyewitness News, NBC 10 – Philadelphia, and appeared on National Public Radio. He has authored five books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, 10 Days to Less Distracted Child, Liking the Child You Love, Why Can’t You Read My Mind?, and Letting Go of Anger, a card deck for teens.

There’s nothing wrong with being shy. But if shyness or social anxiety keeps you from building meaningful relationships with others, advancing in your education or career, or simply living your best life, The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook offers a comprehensive program to help you confront your fears and become actively involved in the world.

If you are shy or socially anxious, you may dread going to parties, speaking in front of crowds or people you don’t know, going to job interviews, and other critical life situations. You aren’t alone. In fact, studies show that millions of people suffer from a social anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, you can’t hide from some social situations—no matter how much you wish you could. But you don’t have to go on suffering silently. The good news is there are proven-effective techniques you can start using right away to help ease your anxiety or shyness and start living the life you were meant to live: a life where fear doesn’t get in the way of reaching your goals.

This fully revised and updated third edition incorporates breakthrough new research and techniques for overcoming social phobia, including a new chapter on mindfulness-based treatments, updated information on medications, and an overview of treatment-enhancing technological advances. As you complete the activities in this workbook, you'll learn to find your strengths and weaknesses using self-evaluation, explore and examine your fears, create a personalized plan for change, and put your plan into action through gentle and gradual exposure to the very social situations that cause you to feel uneasy. After completing this program, you'll be well-equipped to make connections with the people around you. Soon, you'll be on your way to enjoying all the benefits of being actively involved in the social world.

If you’re ready to confront your fears to live an enjoyable, satisfying life, this new edition of The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook offers a comprehensive program to help you get started. What are you waiting for?

This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit—an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

About the author:

Martin M. Antony, PhD, is professor and chair in the department of psychology at Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada. He is also director of research at the Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre at St. Joseph’s Healthcare, Hamilton, Ontario, and a past president of the Canadian Psychological Association. An award-winning researcher, Antony is coauthor of When Perfect Isn't Good Enough, and more than 25 other books. His research, writing, and clinical practice focus is on cognitive behavioral therapy and the treatment of anxiety disorders. He has been widely quoted in the American and Canadian media.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Mark Coleman author of Make Peace With Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You From Your Inner Critic

About the book:

The inner critic is the voice inside our heads reminding us that we are never “good enough.” It’s behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value. The inner critic might feel overpowering, but it can be managed effectively. Meditation teacher and therapist Mark Coleman helps readers understand and free themselves from the inner critic using the tools of mindfulness and compassion. Each chapter offers constructive insights into what creates, drives, and disarms the critic; real people’s journeys to inspire and guide readers; and simple practices anyone can use to live a free, happy, and flourishing life.

About the author:

Mark Coleman is a senior meditation teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, an executive coach, and the founder of the Mindfulness Institute, which brings mindfulness training to organizations worldwide.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Linda Kohanov author of The Five Roles of a Master Herder: A Revolutionary Model for Socially Intelligent Leadership

About the book:

In The Five Roles of a Master Herder, Linda Kohanov adapts horse-inspired insights into powerful tools for developing collaborative leadership and managing change. Over thousands of years, Kohanov writes, “master herders” of nomadic herding cultures developed a multi-faceted, socially intelligent form of leadership combining the five roles of Dominant, Leader, Sentinel, Nurturer/Companion, and Predator. The fluid interplay of these roles allowed interspecies communities to move across vast landscapes, dealing with predators and changing climates, protecting and nurturing the herd while keeping massive, gregarious, often aggressive animals together — without the benefit of fences and with very little reliance on restraints. She includes an innovative assessment tool to help you determine which roles you currently overemphasize and which roles you may be ignoring — or even actively avoiding. Through this powerful and surprising book, Kohanov will show you how to recognize, cultivate, and utilize all five roles in the modern tribes of your workplace, family, and other social organizations.

About the author:

Through her Eponaquest Worldwide, established to explore the healing potential of working with horses, Linda Kohanov teaches internationally on subjects including leadership, social intelligence, and stress reduction. She lives near Tucson, Arizona.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Ira Israel author of How To Survive Your Childhood Now That You’re An Adult: A Path to Authenticity and Awakening

About the book:

As children, we learned to get approval by creating facades to help us get our emotional and psychological needs met, but we also rebelled against authority as a way of individuating. As adults, these conflicting desires leave many of us feeling anxious or depressed because our authentic selves are buried deep beneath glitzy or rebellious exteriors or some combination thereof. In this provocative book, eclectic teacher and therapist Ira Israel offers a powerful, comprehensive, step-by-step path to recognizing the ways of being that we created as children and transcending them with compassion and acceptance. By doing so, we discover our true callings and cultivate the authentic love we were born deserving.

About the author:

Psychotherapist Ira Israel graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and has graduate degrees in philosophy, religious studies, and psychology. He leads workshops at the Esalen Institute and throughout the United States and has a private practice in Santa Monica, California.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Brian Boxer Wachler, MD author of Perceptual Intelligence: The Brain’s Secret to Seeing Past Illusion, Misperception, and Self-Deception

About the book:

Is it okay to fantasize during sex? When should you follow your intuition and gut feelings? Why do we gravitate to products endorsed by celebrities? Why does time seem to go by faster as we get older? Why are some athletes perpetual winners and others losers? Why do some people see Jesus on a Cheeto? Exploring the brain’s ability to interpret and make sense of the world, Dr. Brian Boxer Wachler describes how your perception can be reality or fantasy and how to separate the two, which is the basis of improving your Perceptual Intelligence (PI). With concrete examples and case studies, Dr. Brian (as he’s known to his patients) explains why our senses do not always match reality and how we can influence the world around us through perceptions, inward and outward.

Fine-tuning your PI elevates your game so you can have what you want in life: better job, better relationships, better sex, more success, more happiness. Without this book you will have a hard time achieving these things because you will keep repeating the same patterns. By reading Perceptual Intelligence you elevate potential success in every area in your life. And there is an amazing chapter on sex! Do get it now!

About the author:

An expert on human perception, Brian Boxer Wachler, MD, has pioneered treatments in vision correction and Keratoconus, has published 84 medical articles, and has delivered 276 scientific presentations. He is the medical director of the Boxer Wachler Vision Institute in Beverly Hills and a staff physician at Los Angeles’s famed Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He has been featured on all major news stations including CNN as well as on NBC Nightly News, Good Morning America, Today Show, and is a regular on Dr. Phil’s The Doctors daytime TV show.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Armin A. Zadeh, MD, PhD author of The Forgotten Art of Love: What Love Means and Why It Matters

About the book:

Cardiologist and professor Armin Zadeh revisits psychologist Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving, a book that has fascinated him for decades. The Forgotten Art of Love examines love in its complex entirety — through the lenses of biology, philosophy, history, religion, sociology, and economics — to fill in critical voids in Fromm’s classic work and to provide a contemporary understanding of love. This unique and wide-ranging book looks at love’s crucial role in every aspect of human existence, exploring what love has to do with sex, spirituality, society, and the meaning of life; different kinds of love (for our children, for our neighbors); and whether love is a matter of luck or an art that can be mastered. Dr. Zadeh provides a fascinating, empowering guide to enhancing relationships and happiness — concluding with a provocative vision for firmly anchoring love in our society.

About the author:

Armin Zadeh, MD, PhD, MPH, is a professor at Johns Hopkins University. He has authored more than one hundred scientific articles and is an editor of scholarly books in medicine. He is a regular speaker at national and international scientific meetings and directs educational events around the world.

As a cardiologist and scientist, Dr. Zadeh experiences the relationship between the mind and the matter on a daily basis. The loss of love can literally cause a broken heart — a form of severe heart disease. Love is the central force of life and its influence on human wellbeing and happiness is not adequately considered.

The art of medicine requires insights from various disciplines, including biology, psychology, physics, chemistry, and also philosophy. Drawing from his background and experience, Dr. Zadeh has used his skills in the analysis and synthesis of complex data to formulate new concepts and hypotheses on love and to develop a framework to understand—and master—love.

Dr. Zadeh was born and educated in Düsseldorf, Germany, where he attended medical school. After initial postgraduate training in Germany and the United Kingdom, he came to the United States in 1995 to complete his education and training in medicine, public health, and research. He is married and lives with his family in the United States.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Brad Warner author of It Came From Beyond Zen: More Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan's Greatest Zen Master

About the book:

Vol. 2 of Brad Warner’s Radical but Reverent Paraphrasing of Dogen’s Treasury of the True Dharma Eye

In Japan in 1253, one of the great thinkers of his time died — and the world barely noticed. That man was the Zen monk Eihei Dogen. For centuries his main work, Shobogenzo, languished in obscurity, locked away in remote monasteries until scholars rediscovered it in the twentieth century. What took so long? In Brad Warner’s view, Dogen was too ahead of his time to find an appreciative audience. To bring Dogen’s work to a bigger readership, Warner began paraphrasing Shobogenzo, recasting it in simple, everyday language. The first part of this project resulted in Don’t Be a Jerk, and now Warner presents this second volume, It Came from Beyond Zen! Once again, Warner uses wry humor and incisive commentary to bridge the gap between past and present, making Dogen’s words clearer and more relevant than ever before.

About the author:

Ordained as a Soto Zen priest, Brad Warner is also a punk bassist, filmmaker, and blogger. He is the founder of Angel City Zen Center in Los Angeles and the author of Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up, and several other books about Zen Buddhism. His writing appears on SuicideGirls.com and in Lion’s Roar, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and Alternative Press. He lives in Los Angeles.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Kieran Setiya author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide.

About the book:

Philosophical wisdom and practical advice for overcoming the problems of middle age

How can you reconcile yourself with the lives you will never lead, with possibilities foreclosed, and with nostalgia for lost youth? How can you accept the failings of the past, the sense of futility in the tasks that consume the present, and the prospect of death that blights the future? In this self-help book with a difference, Kieran Setiya confronts the inevitable challenges of adulthood and middle age, showing how philosophy can help you thrive.

You will learn why missing out might be a good thing, how options are overrated, and when you should be glad you made a mistake. You will be introduced to philosophical consolations for mortality. And you will learn what it would mean to live in the present, how it could solve your midlife crisis, and why meditation helps.

Ranging from Aristotle, Schopenhauer, and John Stuart Mill to Virginia Woolf and Simone de Beauvoir, as well as drawing on Setiya’s own experience, Midlife combines imaginative ideas, surprising insights, and practical advice. Writing with wisdom and wit, Setiya makes a wry but passionate case for philosophy as a guide to life.

About the author:

MIT philosopher; would-be self-help guru; master of the semi-colon.

www.ksetiya.net

@KieranSetiya