Relationships With A Soul

In this empowering episode we explore: What it really means to take responsibility for your life, release old patterns that no longer serve you, and step into lasting change—one grounded, intentional step at a time. This episode shares a personal journey from numbing and hopelessness to sobriety, gratitude, and a life that finally feels aligned, along with an invitation to begin that same transformation for yourself.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

00:00 – Letting go of old connections that no longer serve youHow growth naturally creates distance from people and patterns that don’t align anymore.

03:45 – Reclaiming personal responsibility and agencyWhy you are the deciding force in what you experience and create in your life.

07:20 – Why real change happens step by stepAn introduction to the five-part video series and the importance of sustainable progress.

11:10 – Life on the other side of addiction and numbingA raw reflection on sobriety, gratitude, and what genuine healing can look like.

16:05 – From hopelessness to faith and fulfillmentHow inner work reshapes not just behavior, but your entire relationship with life.

20:30 – An invitation to begin your own transformationDetails on accessing the free video course and joining the Relationships With a Soul community.

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode

* Personal transformation begins when you accept that you are the creator of your life, not a bystander.

* Growth often requires allowing old connections and identities to fade without guilt.

* Healing isn’t instant—it happens through consistent, intentional steps over time.

* Sobriety and self-awareness open the door to gratitude, clarity, and meaning.

* Change is possible even when life once felt hopeless and overwhelming.

* You don’t have to do this alone—community and guidance matter.

Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this empowering episode, we explore how the stories you tell yourself shape your self-worth, how childhood fears still influence your adult decisions, and why rewriting those fears is the key to true inner transformation.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Rewriting the old stories you’ve carried about not mattering or not being enough (01:10)

* How self-talk can reshape your identity and your entire emotional foundation (01:22)

* The importance of recognizing where your deepest fears originally came from (01:35)

* Understanding how early emotional wounds still keep you stuck today (01:48)

* Why identifying the real fear beneath your behavior creates instant clarity (02:01)

* Inviting deeper self-exploration to uncover your true emotional blocks (02:15)

* Why sharing your story can accelerate healing and reduce shame (02:28)

* Affirmation and encouragement for anyone actively doing inner healing work (02:42)

* How this kind of introspective work creates transformation from the inside out (02:55)

* Staying committed to the path of self-growth because it leads to lasting change (03:10)

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode

Lesson 1: You Can Rewrite Your Internal Story

The beliefs you formed in childhood aren’t permanent. You can update them.“Your story doesn’t end where it began.”

Lesson 2: Your Deepest Fears Have an Origin Point

Every fear you carry was learned somewhere — and it can be unlearned.“Fear is a teacher, not a life sentence.”

Lesson 3: The Real Fear Is Often Hidden Under the Surface

You must look deeper to understand what truly keeps you stuck.“What you fear in the present often comes from the past.”

Lesson 4: Self-Compassion Rebuilds Self-Worth

Telling yourself you matter can undo years of internalized doubt.“You are allowed to speak to yourself with love.”

Lesson 5: Sharing Your Story Breaks Shame

Opening up to someone you trust can accelerate the healing process.“Your story becomes lighter the moment it’s spoken.”

Lesson 6: Inner Work Is What Creates Lasting Change

Surface-level fixes fade — but emotional work transforms you permanently.“Real growth happens from the inside out.”

Lesson 7: You Deserve Support on Your Healing Journey

Reaching out for connection reinforces that you’re not alone.“Healing quickens when witnessed.”

Lesson 8: Progress Comes From Staying on the Path

Momentum builds when you remain committed, even when it feels challenging.“Consistency is what turns healing into transformation.”

Lesson 9: You Are Capable of Becoming Who You Needed Growing Up

Reparenting yourself gives you the love and reassurance you never received.“You can become the person your younger self needed.”

Lesson 10: Inner Healing Redefines What’s Possible for Your Life

When fear loosens its grip, your desires and goals come alive again.“When you heal the root, the entire tree grows differently.”

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this empowering episode, we explore why we turn to certain habits to escape ourselves—and how honest self-reflection becomes the first step toward getting unstuck.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Asking yourself why you’re really engaging in certain habits or behaviors (01:10)

* The difference between healthy exploration and emotional escapism (01:22)

* How occasional experimentation can be useful — but chronic avoidance becomes destructive (01:34)

* The painful truth about waking up years later and realizing you haven’t moved forward (01:48)

* Why awareness of your coping mechanisms is the beginning of real change (02:05)

* Using reflection to redirect your life instead of losing years to avoidance (02:18)

* How one small act of self-respect begins the transformation process (02:32)

* The importance of taking one thing from each episode and applying it (02:45)

* Why choosing a supportive environment accelerates your healing (02:58)

* Surrounding yourself with people who are doing the work every day (03:12)

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode

Lesson 1: Your Habits Reveal Your True Intentions

Every action has a “why” behind it — and getting honest about that “why” is the key to growth.“Your behaviors are trying to tell you something — if you’re willing to listen.”

Lesson 2: Exploration Is Healthy — Escapism Is Not

Trying new things can expand your life, but using them to avoid your feelings keeps you stuck.“The difference isn’t the activity — it’s the intention behind it.”

Lesson 3: Escaping Life Delays Your Future

Avoidance compounds quietly. One day you wake up and realize nothing has changed.“A decade can disappear when you’re busy running from yourself.”

Lesson 4: Awareness Is the First Step to Freedom

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Awareness breaks the pattern.“Honesty with yourself is the beginning of every transformation.”

Lesson 5: Small Actions Build Self-Respect

Applying even one small insight creates momentum and reinforces your worth.“Change doesn’t start with huge decisions — it starts with one act of self-respect.”

Lesson 6: Reflection Moves You Forward

Asking yourself tough questions pulls you out of auto-pilot and reconnects you with your direction.“Self-reflection is what turns your life back on track.”

Lesson 7: Your Environment Shapes Your Evolution

You grow faster when you surround yourself with people doing the inner work.“Healing accelerates in the right company.”

Lesson 8: Supportive Communities Keep You Accountable

Being around others on the same path keeps you aligned and consistent.“Your network determines the standard you rise to.”

Lesson 9: Consistency Beats Intensity

You don’t need massive change — you need daily alignment.“Tiny honest steps beat big fake leaps every time.”

Lesson 10: You Always Have the Power to Redirect Your Life

No matter how long you’ve been escaping, the moment you return to yourself, change begins.“The next chapter starts the moment you choose to face your life, not run from it.”

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this empowering episode, we explore how speaking your truth, asking better questions, and expressing yourself openly builds deep self-respect and inner confidence.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Why appreciation instantly disarms people who try to shame you (01:10)

* How thanking someone for feedback protects your emotional power (01:22)

* Why questioning others builds self-respect instead of conflict (01:38)

* How asking for clarity strengthens your inner confidence (01:52)

* Speaking your mind as a pathway to self-trust (02:05)

* Why expressing yourself is an act of inner leadership (02:20)

* Building a relationship with yourself in a world that teaches you to ignore it (02:38)

* How saying “yes” to life is the beginning of self-alignment (02:55)

* Why trusting yourself is the cornerstone of emotional resilience (03:08)

* Being authentic even when it’s uncomfortable — and how that expands your life (03:22)

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode

Lesson 1: Appreciation Disarms Shame

Responding with gratitude takes the power away from anyone trying to make you feel small.“People lose their leverage when you don’t take the bait.”“Appreciation is an unexpected form of strength.”

Lesson 2: Asking Questions Builds Self-Respect

When you seek clarity, you show yourself that your curiosity and needs matter.“Questions are courage in disguise.”“Every time you speak up, you reinforce your own worth.”

Lesson 3: Self-Trust Comes From Expressing Your Truth

Sharing your thoughts—even imperfectly—strengthens your belief that you can rely on yourself.“Your voice is how your inner self knows you’ve got its back.”

Lesson 4: Authenticity Is The Fastest Path to Growth

Being honest, even when uncomfortable, aligns you with the person you’re becoming.“Authenticity isn’t easy, but it’s always liberating.”

Lesson 5: A Relationship With Yourself Is Your Real Foundation

In a world full of noise, distractions, and expectations, the bond you build with yourself determines your emotional freedom.“You’re the one person you can’t escape — make that relationship solid.”

Lesson 6: Saying Yes to Life Creates Inner Expansion

Life responds when you open yourself to possibility instead of fear.“Openness is the beginning of transformation.”

Lesson 7: Trusting Yourself Is an Act of Safety

When you can rely on your own choices, the world becomes less threatening.“Self-trust turns uncertainty into opportunity.”

Lesson 8: Discomfort Is Evidence of Alignment, Not Failure

Every time you choose honesty over silence, discomfort is just proof that you’re growing.“If it feels uncomfortable, it probably matters.”

Lesson 9: Speaking Your Mind Moves Your Life Forward

You stop waiting for permission and start leading your own journey.“Your truth is the engine of your momentum.”

Lesson 10: Inner Respect Grows Through Action

Every question you ask, every boundary you set, every truth you speak — they’re all deposits into your self-worth.“Self-respect isn’t built in your head — it’s built in your actions.”

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this empowering episode, we explore what it really means to become your own best ally and stop relying on external validation to feel whole.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Becoming your own best ally and why it changes everything (01:10)

* The trap of relying on external circumstances to feel good (01:31)

* Why most people lack self-trust and don’t even realize it (02:12)

* The quiet inner voice trying to guide you—if you slow down enough to hear it (02:24)

* Why no one else can ever fully meet your needs (03:07)

* How nurturing your inner relationship creates emotional stability (03:26)

* Simple tools to communicate with your inner self more deeply (04:12)

* The real reason you stay stuck and avoid big life decisions (05:11)

* How realizing others don’t truly understand you frees you from judgment (06:45)

* Why boundaries are essential—especially with draining family dynamics (07:55)

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode

Lesson 1: Internal Validation Is the Only Stable Foundation

You can surround yourself with support and encouragement, but none of it matters if you don’t trust yourself.Self-worth becomes unshakeable only when it comes from within.

“Confidence is an inside job.”“Your life doesn’t change until you decide you’re worth changing for.”

Lesson 2: Your Inner Voice Always Knows What You Need

Beneath the noise of daily life is a quiet, childlike voice trying to guide you toward truth.When you ignore it, you feel lost. When you listen, things finally make sense.

“Your inner voice isn’t quiet — your life is just too loud.”“Alignment begins the moment you stop abandoning yourself.”

Lesson 3: Most People Live Externally-Driven Lives

We wait for circumstances to shift before we allow ourselves to feel good, keeping us stuck in emotional dependence.

“If your happiness depends on the world, you’ll always feel unsafe.”“Freedom begins when you decide to stop outsourcing your peace.”

Lesson 4: You Can Meet Far More of Your Needs Than You Think

You’ve been conditioned to expect others to take care of you, but you have far more power to self-resource than you realize.

“You are not as helpless as you were taught to believe.”“Self-support is the ultimate form of self-respect.”

Lesson 5: Self-Trust Is What Unlocks Life Decisions

Big moves—new careers, relationships, relocations—become possible only when you trust your ability to handle the outcome.

“Clarity doesn’t create courage — self-trust does.”“When you believe in your own capability, nothing feels too risky.”

Lesson 6: Fear of Judgment Is a Massive Illusion

Most people don’t know you well enough to have meaningful opinions about you. Realizing this frees you from performing.

“People aren’t judging you — they’re projecting themselves.”“The fear of judgment disappears once you see how little others truly understand you.”

Lesson 7: People’s Opinions Are Mostly About Their Comfort

Disapproval often happens because your growth disrupts someone else’s expectations—not because you’re wrong.

“Their reaction reflects their comfort, not your truth.”“Your evolution will threaten the people who benefit from your stagnation.”

Lesson 8: Boundaries Are Acts of Self-Respect

Boundaries—especially with draining family members—protect your inner child and prevent ongoing emotional harm.

“Distance can be an act of love — especially love for yourself.”“Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re protection from repeated injury.”

Lesson 8: Boundaries Are Acts of Self-Respect

Boundaries—especially with draining family members—protect your inner child and prevent ongoing emotional harm.

“Distance can be an act of love — especially love for yourself.”“Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re protection from repeated injury.”

Lesson 9: Numbing Disconnects You From Your Inner Self

When you drown out your inner world with distractions, substances, or constant noise, you lose access to the part of you that needs healing most.

“Numbing feels like relief, but it’s really self-abandonment.”“Your healing begins the moment you stop hiding from yourself.”

Lesson 10: The Relationship With Your Inner Self Is the Most Important One You’ll Ever Have

This relationship becomes your support system, your clarity, your courage, and your inner safety.

“The inner you is the partner you’ll have for the rest of your life.”“When you build a home within yourself, you stop searching for one outside.”

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this empowering episode, we explore how childhood conditioning shapes self-worth, why so many adults struggle to believe in themselves, and the mindset shift that instantly increases your value.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Why believing in yourself matters more than anyone else believing in you (01:10)

* How childhood conditioning creates lifelong self-worth issues (03:05)

* Why a lack of emotional presence from parents leads to self-doubt later in life (05:40)

* How unconscious limiting beliefs sabotage your goals and confidence (08:10)

* The role bad habits and addictions play when we don’t know how to value ourselves (10:45)

* A mindset strategy from Naval Ravikant that instantly raises your self-worth (13:20)

* How to put a dollar value on your time — and why it changes everything (15:40)

* The psychology behind why this simple practice increases productivity (17:05)

* How valuing your time reduces complaining, resentment, and overthinking (18:50)

* Why most wealthy, fulfilled people use this mental model daily (20:15)

* How to choose a number that feels uncomfortable — and why that’s the secret (21:55)

* A daily habit that dramatically strengthens self-belief (23:10)

* The profound difference between working harder and working smarter (24:25)

* Why this single shift can alter the trajectory of your entire life (25:45)

* A challenge to prove to yourself, not others, that you’re worth it (27:20)

And more…

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode:

Lesson 1: Self-Belief Can’t Be Outsourced

You can be surrounded by people who believe in you, but it won’t matter if you don’t believe in yourself.Validation only sticks when it comes from within.Confidence is an inside job.

Your life doesn’t change until you decide you’re worth changing for.

Lesson 2: Childhood Shapes Your Internal Worth

When parents are absent, distracted, addicted, or emotionally unavailable, children internalize one message:“I must not be worth their time.”Those beliefs follow us into adulthood.

We don’t question our parents — we question ourselves.

Lesson 3: Unseen Limiting Beliefs Create Self-Sabotage

If you don’t value yourself, you’ll avoid opportunities, procrastinate on dreams, and cling to safe distractions.You’re not lazy — you’re protecting yourself from the pain of failing.

We fail privately because we fear failing publicly.

Lesson 4: Bad Habits Fill the Void Self-Worth Leaves

Addictions, scrolling, numbing, and procrastination are symptoms.Without internal value, we chase external stimulation to feel okay.

You can’t out-hustle an empty cup.

Lesson 5: Valuing Your Time Changes How You Spend It

Assigning a dollar amount to your hour instantly alters your behavior.Suddenly, scrolling feels expensive. Complaining feels wasteful.You naturally shift toward higher-value actions.

When time becomes valuable, you stop wasting it on people, problems, and patterns that don’t matter.

Lesson 6: Discomfort = Growth

Pick a number that feels slightly uncomfortable.That discomfort is your identity expanding.Your subconscious learns worth by witnessing your actions.

If it doesn’t stretch you, it doesn’t change you.

Lesson 7: Mindset Creates Reality

When you choose a self-worth number:

* You think differently

* You behave differently

* You prioritize differently

And reality rearranges accordingly.

The mind creates what it consistently believes.

Lesson 8: A Single Sentence Can Change Your Life

Writing down your hourly worth and seeing it every day is symbolic repetition.It reprograms identity, removes guilt, and activates self-respect.

Your environment trains your subconscious — use it intentionally.

Lesson 9: Your Existence Is a Statistical Miracle

The chances of you being born are so small that your worth is practically immeasurable.Don’t let childhood wounds decide what a miracle is worth.

Your value was never supposed to be decided by broken people.

Lesson 10: Self-Worth Drives Impact

The more you value yourself, the more:

* You create

* You contribute

* You lead

* You inspire

Your worth fuels your purpose.

To change the world, you must first believe you’re worthy of trying.

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this honest and grounding episode, we break down the truth behind social media perfection, emotional isolation, and why your struggles are more normal—and meaningful—than you think.

In this value-packed episode, we cover:

* Why social media creates a false sense of perfection—and how it distorts our mental health (01:05)

* The hidden exhaustion of pretending we’re “fine” when we’re not (03:12)

* How childhood conditioning teaches us to bury emotions instead of express them (05:45)

* The deep shame we carry for struggling—and why that shame is actually the cage (08:50)

* The hidden reason so many of us rely on alcohol, medication, shopping, and other coping behaviors (11:20)

* Why life feels so lonely—even when we’re surrounded by people (13:30)

* The powerful lesson behind John Candy’s life—and the beauty of seeing someone fully (15:45)

* Why we’re starving for authenticity in a world full of performance (18:20)

* How pain acts as a teacher that pushes us into alignment, not a punishment (20:50)

* Why challenges are essential for meaning, growth, and fulfillment (23:10)

* The belief shift that stops you from feeling alone in your struggle (25:55)

And much more…

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode:

Lesson 1: Perfection Is a Performance — Not Reality

Social media tricks our minds into believing perfection is normal.We compare our messy, real lives to someone’s carefully curated highlight reel, and it creates a silent shame.Authenticity isn’t loud; perfection is usually a mask.When you remember this, the pressure to “have it all together” starts to dissolve.

People aren’t perfect — they’re performing.

Lesson 2: Emotional Suppression Starts in Childhood

From a young age, we’re taught not to cry, complain, or express frustration.That conditioning becomes the voice that tells us:“Don’t feel that.”“Don’t be dramatic.”“Hide it.”As adults, we apologize for being human — because we were never taught how to feel safely.

Suppressing emotions doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you disconnected.

Lesson 3: Coping Behaviors Are Messages, Not Moral Failures

Alcohol, shopping, substances, overworking, endless scrolling — these are emotional regulation tools.Rather than judging them, it’s more helpful to ask:What pain am I soothing? What feeling am I avoiding?When you identify the root, the behavior loses its power.

We normalize coping so we can avoid confronting what hurts.

Lesson 4: Loneliness Comes From Performance, Not Isolation

You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.Why?Because nobody’s saying what’s real.We perform at work, at home, online — then go home and fall apart privately.Connection can only exist where truth is allowed to exist.

We feel alone because we’re hiding the parts that would actually connect us.

Lesson 5: Pain Is a Teacher — Not a Punishment

Life’s challenges force growth, resilience, and meaning.Without struggle, life would feel empty and directionless.Pain reveals where we’re out of alignment — it’s guidance, not punishment.Leaning into it helps your soul evolve.

The universe communicates through discomfort.

Lesson 6: Authenticity Creates Real Belonging

Being authentic does not mean having life figured out.It means being willing to be seen in the mess.When you share your truth, others recognize their own — and connection happens.You stop feeling like an outsider in your own life.

Our struggles connect us far more than our highlight reels ever will.

Lesson 7: Everyone Has a Battle You Can’t See

The people who look the strongest are often carrying the most.Celebrities, comedians, leaders — pain doesn’t discriminate.Recognizing this removes comparison, envy, and shame.We’re all human — and that’s the point.

When we see the whole person, we finally see ourselves.

Lesson 8: Acceptance Makes You Feel Less Alone

When you accept that challenges are a shared human pattern,you stop assuming something’s wrong with you.Life becomes less about survival and more about learning.Acceptance is freedom.

Your struggle doesn’t make you an outsider — it makes you human.

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

In this soul-centered episode, I explore how to rebuild self-trust, release numbing habits, and begin your healing journey from the inside out.

In this value-packed episode, I cover:

* The real meaning of “doing the inner work” — and why most people don’t know where to start (01:40)

* How to identify the habits that quietly drain your energy and block self-connection (03:20)

* Why you cling to habits that hurt you — and the two core fears that keep you stuck (07:00)

* How to stop waiting for a crisis and start changing from self-respect instead of desperation (09:45)

* The surprising power of support groups and coaches in building lasting change (10:40)

* The small lifestyle shifts that completely transform your mind, energy, and self-trust (13:10)

* Why instant gratification destroys long-term growth — and how to build patience again (16:00)

* How to make self-improvement sustainable by focusing on one simple change at a time (18:00)

* The belief shift that turns self-care into self-respect and builds unshakable inner peace (19:45)

And much more…

Connect with Nick:

📙Follow Nick on Substack

🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand

💻Visit Nick’s Website

Key Lessons From This Episode:

Lesson 1: Awareness Comes Before Action

Most people want to “fix” themselves before they’ve even paused to understand what’s really going on inside.The first step isn’t doing more — it’s getting honest about your habits, distractions, and emotional triggers.When you can name what’s holding you back, you take back your power to change it.

“You’re feeling the way you’re feeling for a reason. Your body is trying to tell you something.”

Lesson 2: Your Habits Are Messages, Not Mistakes

Bad habits aren’t failures — they’re forms of self-protection. They were created to soothe pain or avoid fear.Once you understand why you do them, you can meet that need in a healthier way.This is how growth happens without shame — by replacing avoidance with awareness.

“You don’t need to wait for rock bottom to change. You can choose self-respect instead of desperation.”

Lesson 3: You Don’t Have To Heal Alone

Self-improvement isn’t a solo sport.Having a coach, mentor, or accountability group helps you stay grounded and supported when things get uncomfortable.Accepting help doesn’t make you weak — it keeps you consistent.

“Accepting help isn’t weakness. It’s a gift.”

Lesson 4: Small Shifts Create Big Change

Transformation doesn’t come from overhauling your entire life overnight.It comes from small, consistent actions — one better choice, one boundary, one honest conversation at a time.Even within a week, your energy starts to shift when you treat yourself better.

“Those changes you thought would be boring become the moments you look forward to.”

Lesson 5: Be Patient — Growth Takes Time

In a world trained for instant gratification, real self-work can feel slow.But lasting peace, fulfillment, and self-trust take the same time they always have — steady, intentional effort.If two months of deep work can give you decades of freedom, that’s not sacrifice — it’s liberation.

“If it takes two months to feel like your authentic self for the next twenty years, what’s not worth it about that?”

Enjoyed This Episode? You Might Also Enjoy:

Help Grow The Podcast:

Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast:

* Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform

* Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable

Learn More About Your Host: Nick Neve

*New Episodes Release Weekly*

Welcome to Relationships With a Soul* — I’m Nick, and this podcast is about learning to connect, not just with others, but with the deepest parts of yourself.In the world we live in, most connections stay on the surface, we go deeper — into what it truly means to feel seen, supported, and safe.

Each week, we’ll talk about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, and building the kind of relationships that start with self-trust and ripple outward into every part of your life.

Real fulfillment isn’t about having more — it’s about becoming more of who you really are, surrounded by connections that feel true.

I’ve spent over two decades studying human behavior, spirituality, and connection — experimenting, failing, healing, and documenting what truly works. These episodes are here to help you grow through that same process with compassion, curiosity, and courage.

If you’re ready to stop chasing love and start becoming it, you’re in the right place. Let’s get into today’s episode.

*short disclaimer there is some language in this episode. If kids are around, please be mindful.

EP: 37 Why We Can’t Take Care Of Ourselves

By now most of us have heard of the expression “Take Care Of Yourself”. We all understand the English of what this means. It even sounds great to the ears. But why doesn’t it stick? Why do we hear these words and then revert right back to old patterns of burnout, people pleasing, self-sabotage, and other forms of destruction.

As someone whose been at rock bottom, barely able to get out of bed, and also someone who has abused his mind and body for most of his life, I’m proud to say that I no longer treat myself that way.

How did I get over that hump finally?

I came to fully grasp the reason why we just don’t take care of ourselves and in this episode I’m going to break it down for you. I’ll also outline the enormous benefits that happen once you finally DO take care of yourself. I guarantee that you can’t see them right now otherwise, you would immediately take the plunge and wouldn’t look back.

So what’s stopping you from self-care?

You are gridlocked in the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Maybe you’ve heard this before but do you really know why it has so much power over you?

It’s because you live in a world that hopes and preys on trapping you there and keeping you there.

When you’re stuck in this state, you feel like you’re not enough, you’re not worthy, you need to do more, be more— to finally feel ok with yourself.

This is the main message that society spreads to everyone

You can’t stop until you’ve done “this”. You can’t finally relax until you’ve become “that”.

And then what happens when you finally achieve that level?

The bar gets silently raised and you’re trapped all over again.

Like an animal that’s being threatened, your senses are always up. You’re dangerously overstimulated, which makes it impossible to sit down, process things at a logical level, and asks the REAL questions that will reward you with what you truly want.

You’re so far into fight or flight, that thinking about changing anything at all brings about massive fear, and since you’re already at maximum, how could you possibly handle another thing on top of that heavy load you already carry. This is the way the mind works.

Not to mention, the change being asked of you is a change you’re unfamiliar with, a change that is often less stimulating than what you’re currently used to. So that makes it seem boring, useless, like a real waste of time. It’s part of the reason why it’s so hard for you to allow this to happen in your life.

I used to live in this state.

Before my feet would even hit the floor in the morning I’d reach over to my nightstand and pick up my phone. Scanning my emails, the stock market, text messages, and social media. Secretly praying for something to set me off. Positive or negative, it didn’t matter. I just wanted to feel “alive”. but in doing that every morning I didn’t realize that it was disrupting my peace, my equilibrium, my nervous system. My ability to concentrate, or have any chance at discipline whatsoever.

But the worst part?

I was giving control of my mood and feelings to whatever I saw on the screen. If it was positive, I would have a great day, if it was negative, I was doomed before the clock even hit 9am.

More often than not, the news was negative or unfulfilling and before my day even started, my energy plummeted, I felt like a failure, all because I gave control of my life to outside forces that were never in my control to begin with.

Sure it was exciting in the moment to get that hit of dopamine.

But the cost of that was MASSIVE. The cost was basically gambling my entire day. And it was almost always dissatisfying. The house always wins.

The danger of living this way is that you remain in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze and you’re not even aware of what it feels like to be out of that state.

You get trapped here thinking that this is the only way to live.

But I’m here to tell you it’s not because I’ve seen the other side and it is pardon my French, “f*****g glorious”. Like I said at the beginning if you knew the payout you could receive for giving up those dopamine hits you’d be all in from the start.

Intrigued?

Here’s how you get out of the zombie state and back into your body

The first thing you need to realize about yourself is that YOU MATTER.

YOUR LIFE MATTERS, YOUR EXPERIENCE MATTERS, YOU DESERVE TO CARE FOR YOURSELF. LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO.

When you deny the outside noise of “what everyone else is telling you to do” and trust yourself to do what you know is healthy for you, that’s when your life changes.

Taking care of yourself is different for everyone but I’m going to share the changes I made and what worked for me in hopes that it will jog your memory to create some of your own.

I knew I was overstimulated and it was affecting my level of patience, making me anxious, angry, and I was taking those emotions out on people I love who didn’t deserve that. I knew that devices were creating that anxiety for me. So I set a hard boundary.

At 8pm, my phone goes in my office and it stays there.

Instead of watching Youtube, listening to podcasts, or playing video games into the night and going to bed late, I started getting into bed at 10pm, and reading for 30 minutes. Miraculously, I got tired and fell asleep easily. Why? Because my mind was less stimulated and anxious. Simple as that.

That choice snowballed into me waking up early in the morning and Instead of reaching for my phone, I again set a hardcore boundary. My phone stays in my office. No phone for at least an hour after waking up. Instead I chose to have a glass of water, make coffee, and read an uplifting philosophy book in a quiet room while watching the sun come up and the birds come alive. I never thought I could look forward to that time each day but now I find myself getting excited about it quite often.

Here’s another big one. When I do reach for my phone it is INTENTIONAL. What that means is I am grabbing my phone for a purpose, whether it’s to check an email, send a message to someone, or do 1 other thing. Here’s where the boundary comes in. After I’ve completed that intention, I put my phone back down. No scrolling, no distractions. Solely intentions. If this is hard for you, consider putting your phone out of sight so it’s out of mind. Different rooms work great.

I also create space for 10-20 minutes of reflecting meditation each day and 20-30 mins of exercise. Notice how I’m allowing myself to play with these and not setting outrageous time goals. I work better when I treat these less like necessary punishments and more like healthy activities that add to me feeling good throughout the day.

These are the main changes I’ve made each day because when I chose to set boundaries with devices, and allowed my mind to quiet down a bit, it spoke to me immediately on what it needed to feel safe, rested, and motivated.

Boundaries are not punishments they’re healthy limits that you understand need to be implemented for healthy well-being. If you went into the pantry and just kept eating and eating with no boundary, what would happen? You would put on weight and feel awfully uncomfortable after. The same is true for devices: overusing social media, listening to too much news, gossiping too much, staring at our phones too much, and watching too much TV. It creates an imbalance which makes our minds anxious and this is why we have trouble: Connecting with others, sleeping, incorporating discipline, and managing our emotions. Yes it really is that bad.

What if you realize this but just can’t stop?

I’ve been there too. Consider a few options.

Joining a support group where others are living mindfully, hiring a coach, or asking a friend to be your accountability partner. Again you would choose to do these things for yourself because YOU MATTER. Your life experience matters. Another way you can approach it is make an agreement with yourself to try setting boundaries for 3 days and see how you feel. If you feel good after 3, do it for 7 and so on. The point is to FEEL BETTER. Don’t lose sight of this goal.

Your mind may resist the changes at first, telling you it doesn’t work, it’ll never work. You can’t help yourself. I’m here to lovingly tell you that is b******t. It’s your mind trying to protect you, prevent change, and fear of the unknown. In this case, the future of this is not unknown for you. It’s glorious. I’ve taken this plunge and come out on the other side and I can assure you, it’s the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself.

But what if your family and friends aren’t following and they’re still glued to social media, devices, the news, gaming, and TV?

Here’s the hard truth:

Let them.

Their choices don’t have to be yours, and you can’t control them. Give them the freedom to live how they want and know that they may be inspired when they see how much your life changes after implementing this form of self care. Either way, you will feel better and their choices will affect you less. You’ll build immeasurable resilience.

Before I finally “snapped” and decided to make these changes for myself, I was suffering deeply for about 20 years and I’ll never forget that time. I wish I started sooner but now when I look at the change in myself and who I’ve become, there’s a part of me that still can’t believe it. It’s that powerful. I’m proud of myself and I’m proud of you for being willing to listen to this episode. Give this a shot in your life. You’re worth it. If you need help crafting something that will specifically work for you, please reach out to me. I’d be honored to help you.

Lastly, if you feel totally lost and are not sure who you are or what you need, I recommend exploring the Human Design System. It’s allowed me to pin down exactly who I am, what I’m good at, what I struggle with, and how I can best make decisions in this lifetime as my unique self. This is not some woo woo fluff, this stuff truly works and it’s a miracle I’d like to share with you. Feel free to google Human Design or send me a message, I’d love to talk to you about it.

Lastly.

I believe in you.

Wishing you a warm rest of your day.

If this episode resonated with you, take one thing you learned today and put it into practice — even in a small way.That’s how change starts — one act of self-respect at a time.I’ll see you next week for more conversations that bring you back home to yourself.

If you’re interested in checking out the other work I do, please visit my website @ www.relationshipswithasoul.com

Substack subscribers get 20% off all my services until October 21. That’s less than 2 weeks left on this deal. Reach out to take advantage of this promotion.

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Tuesday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 35: Why Discomfort is your GREATEST Ally

If there's anything that I've learned from discomfort over the past 25 years, it's this: avoiding discomfort creates way more discomfort in the long run.

In this episode, I’m going to be breaking this down for you using my personal experience to support this argument. My hope is by the end of this episode you’re inspired to invite more uncomfortable situations into your life. If this sounds crazy, and / or intriguing, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in.

Have you ever stood over the edge of a diving board, afraid to jump?

You linger there, trying to find a way to make it easier and to stop the fear from growing.

But what's happening in every second that you stand there is that you're feeling more uncomfortable, and the feeling doesn’t go away.

Instead, if you trust the experience and just “jump off the diving board”, the feeling of fear instantly starts to turn into relief.

When you land, you feel an immense sense of relief—and maybe even excitement and joy.

But the feeling of fear is gone.

The proof in this example is that the longer we avoid an uncomfortable situation before taking action, the more discomfort it creates for us in the long run.

Instead, if we just confront the discomfort and experience it, we stop that cycle immediately and start a new cycle of improvement and change.

It also builds memories of trust that we can tap into to help ourselves take on future uncomfortable situations.

The more uncomfortable situations we’ve gone through, the more memories we have that serve as proof that we can do it again. This is how we build resilience.

Discomfort Also Shows Up A Lot In Relationships

An example is wanting to ask someone out that you like.

Have you ever found yourself procrastinating on asking someone out on a date?

How long did you wait before taking the plunge?

The discomfort you feel in waiting could last a day, three days, a month, a year—but it never goes away, does it?

If you think about it, Wouldn’t it seem like it could have been less painful to take action sooner?

Perhaps that discomfort even stopped you from asking them out altogether, and you never found out if they would have said yes.

In this case, discomfort was still felt but because action wasn’t taken, the answer was forced to be “no”.

This last scenario is powerful because we stay stuck in a state of inaction in order to protect ourselves from discomfort, but in doing so we still experience the discomfort—and in the above scenario, choosing not to ask someone out on a date always ends up with the date not happening.

Usually when people reflect on this, a lightbulb moment happens and in the future, they always want to take a chance, because in this case, not taking action, always results in a “no”.

Wouldn’t you want at least a small chance for there to be a “yes”?

Also, there’s something interesting that happens when you finally do take the plunge and ask them out.

Whether they say yes or no, eventually, the feeling of discomfort leaves. If they say yes, the feeling leaves immediately.

If they say no, you may still feel uncomfortable, but over time, you will accept that the situation didn't work out and allow a door to open for something new.

Most people prefer taking a chance and getting an answer, because it’s a form of closure for the situation.

Whereas if you stay in the same cycle—wanting to ask them out and ruminating in your mind over the perfect way to do it—you’ll just cause yourself more pain in the long run without moving forward at all.

This is the trap that so many people fall into.

It's a form of stalling, and it causes a great deal of pain. I know this because I've been in this situation many times with many different girls that I wanted to ask out, and also with many scary life changes I wanted to make in my life—such as leaving my job, starting a new one, or chasing a dream. If I could go back, I would have just thrown myself in the fire, I would have saved so much pain, even though it doesn’t seem like that upfront.

Let’s talk about why it’s better To Throw Yourself Into the Fire

What I realized is this:If you throw yourself in the fire, it seems like it's going to be a lot more painful—which is why we avoid it. But it's actually shortcutting you to your next success by minimizing the pain in the long run by hardening your shell, building resilience, and making you even stronger for the next challenge. Taking these kinds of plunges often will make you unstoppable, and you’ll achieve ultimate resilience to face anything in life. Who doesn’t want that?

Here’s a Pro tip: These are the experiences that give you years of growth, in a short period of time. Imagine growing more in 1 day, than most do in 5 years. This is the kind of reward I’m talking about; I’ve seen and experienced it myself.

When you take action by throwing yourself in the fire, you get a result to go off of. That result will either:

* Cause the pain to go away completely, or

* Force you to pivot and change direction to make room for something new.

Coming to realize this, is extremely powerful because you can talk yourself through discomfort and relax your body by knowing that even if it feels counterintuitive in the moment, taking action benefits you in the long run.

I learned this lesson from one of my more recent job experiences.

When I first became a property manager in Los Angeles, I was paid only $300 a month and given a small discount on my monthly rent. The people I worked for were very abusive, and I could feel very early on that this was not the right place for me—that I was being taken advantage of. I also had no experience on what the average compensation was for this type of job. The former manager of our building had been fired suddenly, and they needed a replacement fast. After knocking on a few doors, they arrived at mine. I was that replacement option. No experience, no idea what the job was, I just started the next day.

I was afraid to branch out and look for other job opportunities in that field because I didn't think I had enough experience. Deep down, I didn't think I was worth any more than they were paying me.

So, I stayed in that situation for a few years before finally forcing myself to search for something better.

Interestingly enough, once I started putting my resume out there—the thing I was most afraid of—I had a job interview within a week.

When I came in for the interview, the family interviewing me, took one look at me and said out loud.

"We can't hire him. He looks like he’s 15."

I was 25.

They were about to dismiss me on the spot.

I immediately responded:

"I know you called me into this job interview, and everyone put time into getting here this morning. Why don't we just sit down for 15 minutes and let’s do the interview. If you don't think I'm right for the position, we can go our separate ways."

I just didn’t want to lose the opportunity.

They agreed. I ended up getting the job—and not only did they give me an apartment in Beverly Hills with free rent, they paid me four times what my old job was paying. I couldn’t believe it..

They later went on the say I was the best property manager they ever had in the 40 years they owned that building.

I had spent two years living in discomfort at the old job, making a garbage wage, and was afraid to make a change because I didn't think things could change. But in just one week of taking action, my entire situation transformed. And had that not worked out right away and something even half as good happened a few months down the road, the effort still would have been worth it.

The same thing happened in countless relationships where I was afraid to ask girls out. I would wait three months, six months, a year trying to come up with the perfect strategy to ensure success.

But the truth is, you can never guarantee success. Even if you come up with the perfect script, you can’t control how the other person will respond, or what the outcome will be.

The best thing you can do is be your authentic self, approach them honestly, and ask them out.

* If they’re interested, they’ll say yes.

* If they’re not, they’ll say no.

Either way, you’ll have permission to take the next step in your life.

But if you don’t make a decision, you stay stuck in that current loop. Time goes by and nothing changes. This is the type of quicksand people get trapped in—completely unaware of how much time is slipping away.

I want to speak to just the ladies for a moment. We live in different times now and in my experience, most men just cant bring themselves to take the chance and ask a lady out like they once could. If you think you’ve found a good guy and he’s giving you attention but not asking you out, take the chance and ask him. It could turn out to the best thing you ever did. He may be an amazing man, he just might have a little stage fright. Don’t let clinging to the way things used to be prevent you from getting what you want. You deserve to make this happen for yourself. A man may not have the courage to approach you, but he can still be an amazing man.

Let’s talk about rejection for a moment.

Rejection is a Blessing

There were times I asked someone out and they said no.

What happened was profound: that rejection freed me to move on and reposition myself to meet someone better aligned with my life. Instead of waking up and thinking about that person every day, I was forced to change my thoughts to focus on new opportunities—and that’s when they started to come in. If you’re obsessed with one thing, your mind won’t allow you to see anything else.

Sometimes this required a job change, a move, or pursuing a different goal. Those shifts brought me into new environments where I met new people—including the next partner I would spend time with.

If I hadn’t made that initial move, I never would have evolved.In this case, rejection was a blessing—not a failure.

Here’s Why Taking Action In Difficult Situations Causes You To Win Either Way

If you ask someone out and they say yes, your life changes as you begin to experience life with them.

If they say no, your life changes in a different way—opening space for something new.Either way, taking action moves your life forward, and that’s what the soul truly desires. To experience and to learn.

The worst thing you can do is remain stuck and just let time go by.I’ve spent years infatuated with someone without acting. Looking back, nothing moved in my life during those years until I made a move. The sooner you realize this and get out of that trap, the sooner you start living again. Time is precious, whatever is keeping you stuck will not kill you. Trust me, I’ve been through so many painful situations that I thought would—and I’m still here. It will be the same for you.

The Takeaway Here Is That Discomfort Is A Win / Win

Most of my life, I viewed discomfort as negative.We’re taught that pain is bad and should be avoided.

But no one ever tells you that pain forces growth.Your willingness to confront discomfort and feel pain is what creates strength, deeper learning, and rich, life experiences.

When I avoided pain and chased only pleasure, I wasted years of my life.But when I embraced discomfort, I grew the most, learned the most, and created the richest stories of my life.

Here’s the secret:

Discomfort is a win-win.

* You either face it and get the outcome you want.

* Or you face it and don’t get what you want—but you’re free to pivot, grow, and explore something new.

And the bonus? It’s actually exciting! Discomfort makes like exciting and worth living. Try it out for yourself

When you avoid discomfort, you’re temporarily trapped, locked in a room, waiting for someone else to free you.That almost never happens.

The truth is: You can either feel the pain now, or you can feel it later. But you can’t avoid it. And it’s not to be avoided anyway for that matter. It’s here to foster growth, to nudge us. Without it, life would be boring.

Some Final Words On Why Discomfort Is Actually Your Friend

Whether it’s:

* Asking someone out,

* Applying for a new job, or

* Starting your dream business...

You can spend months or years stuck, trying to find a pain-free way to act.But the truth is this: discomfort is unavoidable.

Instead, think of it as a stepping stone that is helping you grow.

What if this was how the formula of the world really worked?

Suddenly, when you view it from this lens, discomfort becomes ok

The moment you allow yourself to feel discomfort, you create momentum.That momentum is what ultimately gets you what you want.

If you’re inspired by this post and want to start working on yourself or go deeper with work you’re already doing, send me a message and let’s talk. I’d love to hear what your goals are.

Listen up for a moment while I present my greatest offer ever:

Unsure of who you really are or what to put your time into next?

I can help you with that. Using the Human Design system, we can go through you unique birth chart to uncover your gifts, how you best make decisions in the world, and how to live in your strongest truth.

Human Design has revolutionized my life, It’s why it’s such a big part of my life today.

And I’m confident you’ll be just as wowed as I was. If you’re not wowed, I’ll give you a full refund. Simple as that.

You have nothing to lose here, only the option to be helped.

This offer is only available to you, the person who listened to this one podcast episode. It will be displayed nowhere else. It’s my way of saying thank you for tuning into my work.

If you need clarification on anything or have additional questions, my door and DMS are always open. You can also visit my website by clicking the photo below. Substack subscribers get 20% off all my services until October 21. That’s only 2 weeks left on this deal.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Tuesday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

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