Relationships With A Soul

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

What To Expect In This Episode

* Discover how the universe acts as a mirror - Learn to recognize how your external reality reflects your internal state and use this awareness for personal transformation

* Break free from people-pleasing patterns - Understand the root causes of putting others first and practical steps to prioritize yourself without guilt

* Transform your relationship with emotions - Discover how to use your feelings as valuable data and clues for self-understanding rather than suppressing them

* Develop radical self-responsibility - Shift from victim mindset to empowerment by recognizing yourself as the common denominator in all your experiences

* Learn practical self-exploration techniques - Get actionable advice on journaling, pattern recognition, and building a relationship with yourself as your greatest teacher

Summary

This episode features life and mindset coach Stephanie Kaplan sharing her transformative approach to personal growth through the lens of radical self-responsibility and inner work. Stephanie reveals how the universe acts as a mirror reflecting our internal state, and guides listeners through breaking free from people-pleasing patterns that stem from childhood narratives and fear of abandonment. She emphasizes that true change comes from recognizing yourself as the common denominator in all your experiences, learning to use emotions as valuable data rather than suppressing them, and building a genuine relationship with yourself through practices like journaling and pattern recognition. Throughout the conversation, Stephanie provides practical tools for shifting from victim mindset to empowerment, understanding how challenges serve as preparation for growth, and discovering that the answers you seek already exist within you—making this a comprehensive guide for anyone ready to stop seeking external validation and start creating authentic transformation from the inside out.

If you need help with a recent break-up, putting yourself back out there in the dating world, or feel lost when it comes to relationships, message me below, I’d love to help.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

What To Expect In This Episode

Why self-care isn't selfish — Grace Grossmann shares her raw journey from burnout to breakthrough, proving that taking care of yourself actually makes you better for everyone else.

Real talk about burnout — Learn the warning signs Grace missed and how giving too much nearly broke her (spoiler: it happens to the best of us).

Simple self-care that actually works — Forget expensive spa days. Grace reveals easy, intuitive practices like connecting with nature, mindful eating, and honoring your daily energy flow.

How to slow down without guilt — Practical strategies for finding stillness in a chaotic world, even if you only have an hour.

Dealing with pushback — What to do when people get upset about your new boundaries (hint: the right people will stick around).

Building your support system — Why healing in isolation is harder and how to find your tribe, whether online or in person.

The foundation for healthy relationships — Discover why your relationship with yourself determines the quality of every other relationship in your life.

This episode is perfect if you're exhausted from people-pleasing, struggling to prioritize yourself, or wondering if self-care is worth the effort. Grace's story proves that putting yourself first isn't just okay — it's essential.

Don’t Have Time For The Whole Video? Catch A Summary Below!

Summary

Nick Neve and Grace Grossmann discussed the importance of self-care as a foundation for well-being, including Grace's journey through burnout to prioritizing her own needs and establishing Healing Hearts Hub. Grace shared her experiences with neglecting self-care, experiencing burnout, and the crucial turning point that led her to seek professional help and prioritize slowing down, honoring her energy, and practicing intuitive self-care like connecting with nature, journaling, and mindful eating. Grace Grossmann reassured listeners about the positive impact of self-care on relationships and highlighted resources like Healing Hearts Hub and her book.

Details

* Introduction to Healing Nick Neve introduced the podcast episode focusing on the relationship with oneself as a foundation for healthy external relationships. The episode featured Grace Grossmann, a pioneer in holistic healing, who would share her personal healing journey to inspire listeners. Nick emphasized that challenges are a universal human experience from which recovery is possible.

* Grace's Background and Healing Hearts Hub Grace Grossmann described herself as a multidisciplinary mentor in holistic healing, practicing yoga, meditation, writing, and well-being coaching. She highlighted her current focus on Healing Hearts Hub, an online community for individuals actively engaged in their healing journeys. Grace explained that this safe space supports growth and learning together, addressing the triggers that can arise when healing among those with different perspectives.

* The Importance of Self-Care Awareness Nick inquired about Grace's journey before she fully recognized the importance of self-care. Grace clarified that self-care was always part of her lifestyle but not a priority until she experienced burnout from giving too much as an empath. During a difficult period involving heartbreak, family issues, and job loss during the pandemic, Grace focused on helping others through online yoga, meditation, and writing, neglecting her own needs.

* Experiencing Burnout and a Turning Point Grace recounted how her efforts to support her mother and others led to burnout, culminating in a psychotic episode following her grandmother's passing. She realized that her self-care practices had become acts of teaching rather than personal nourishment. A crucial moment occurred when a supportive friend questioned how Grace could teach yoga while her mind was struggling, urging her to seek professional help.

* Seeking Help and the Path to Recovery Grace emphasized the importance of sharing one's struggles with trusted individuals, noting that not everyone can provide adequate support. Her friend's intervention led her to a mental health clinic in Berlin, a challenging but ultimately accepting experience. Grace found a way to cope by writing and self-publishing her book from the clinic, demonstrating her resilience even in a difficult state.

* The Necessity of Slowing Down Nick and Grace discussed the difficulty of slowing down in a fast-paced world and the true meaning of self-care beyond typical pampering activities. Grace stressed the importance of stillness, connecting with nature, and intentional time, even just an hour, for better alignment. She shared two key aspects of allowing oneself to rest: accepting the present moment and letting go of rigid to-do lists, prioritizing energy levels and intuition.

* Honoring Personal Energy and Flow Grace elaborated on the significance of listening to one's body, intuition, and energy levels throughout the day when scheduling tasks. She described her personal routine of prioritizing writing in the morning and more relaxed activities in the evening. Grace emphasized that slowing down is crucial for the nervous system and encouraged taking time to disconnect and reconnect with inner guidance.

* Intuitive Approach to Self-Care Practices Nick appreciated Grace's perspective on taking pressure off scheduling and honoring daily energy fluctuations. Grace highlighted the importance of respecting one's flow and individual needs in self-care, rather than adhering to rigid external expectations. She cautioned against striving for perfection and encouraged embracing intuition in self-care practices.

* Examples of Self-Care Practices Nick prompted Grace for examples of self-care activities that have worked for her. Grace emphasized listening to inner guidance and body cues. Her go-to practices include connecting with nature, which she believes is universally beneficial for refueling the soul.

* Further Self-Care Techniques: Journaling and Mindful Eating Grace shared journaling as another important self-care practice, which she engages in when needing to process emotions, without adhering to a strict daily schedule. She also highlighted the significance of mindful eating and taking care of one's gut health for overall well-being, advocating for balance and guilt-free enjoyment of food. Grace emphasized the foundational aspect of being present and aware in all aspects of life for balance and healing.

* Addressing Concerns About Shifting Focus to Self Nick raised the common concern of people fearing disappointment from their network when prioritizing self-care after a history of neglecting themselves. Grace reassured that those who truly matter will remain supportive, and opening up about one's feelings is a courageous act that often leads to greater respect. She highlighted the importance of finding supportive communities, like Healing Hearts Hub, for those who may lack in-person support.

* The Positive Impact of Self-Care on Relationships Grace emphasized that prioritizing self-care ultimately benefits one's ability to care for others. Nick echoed this, sharing his experience of basing self-worth on external validation and the positive shift that occurs when focusing on oneself with the intention of showing up better for others. They agreed that self-awareness is the crucial starting point for embracing self-care.

* Resources and Closing Remarks Nick thanked Grace for sharing her insights and announced that links to Healing Hearts Hub and Grace's work, including her book "Chill Out and Cheer Up," would be in the show notes. He encouraged listeners to reach out if they need support on their healing journeys and thanked everyone for tuning in.

If you need help with a recent break-up, putting yourself back out there in the dating world, or feel lost when it comes to relationships, message me below, I’d love to help.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

Don’t Have Time For The Whole Video? Catch A Summary Below!

EP 22: HOW TO Take Care Of Yourself: Show Up As Your Best Self In Business, Relationships, + Life

Nick Neve and Landon Poburan discussed the importance of self-care, with Landon sharing his journey through burnout caused by prioritizing external validation and financial goals over well-being. Landon detailed his decision to close his business to prioritize himself, the subsequent period of change and self-discovery, and his shift towards a lifestyle-first business focused on personal happiness. Landon also provided advice on incorporating self-care, emphasizing awareness, small steps, challenging societal conditioning, and finding joy in activities without perfectionism.

* Introduction to Self-Care Nick Neve introduced the topic of self-care with guest Landon Poburan on the Relationships with a Soul podcast. Nick observed that self-care is often perceived as easy but is frequently neglected, and he aims to explore the processes of those who prioritize it. Landon expressed excitement about the conversation and commended Nick for highlighting this important topic.

* Landon's Background and Entrepreneurial Journey Landon Poburan shared that he helps coaches and course creators build businesses with an "anti-hustle" approach focused on simplicity. He has been self-employed for about 20 years, having started around ten businesses in various sectors including technology, e-commerce, fitness, and coaching. Landon emphasized that self-care and the well-being of the person behind the business are crucial for success. He also noted that prioritizing self-care is an ongoing journey, not a fixed state.

* Burnout and External Validation Landon recounted a period between 2015 and 2019 when he was transitioning careers and became heavily influenced by external validation and expectations. He described getting caught up in the "hustle" mentality of achieving arbitrary financial goals, leading to constant competition and comparison with peers. This relentless pursuit resulted in burnout and depression, peaking around 2017-2018, characterized by 16-hour workdays, seven days a week, and coping mechanisms like excessive energy drink consumption and frequent drinking.

* The Decision to Close the Business Landon identified the decision to close his gym business as the first significant step towards prioritizing himself. This was a difficult decision with substantial financial implications (over $100,000) and led to a loss of community and identity. Despite the challenges, Landon and his wife felt an immediate sense of relief, recognizing that continuing the business was no longer serving their desired life. This decision marked the beginning of breaking away from externally imposed paths.

* Navigating Change and Uncertainty Nick Neve acknowledged the intensity of Landon's experience and the common pressure to conform to external expectations. Landon shared that the decision to close the business involved significant contemplation and weighing of potential consequences, but ultimately came down to a point where "enough was enough". Despite the fear of the unknown and the negative fallout, Landon and his wife trusted their ability to figure things out together, even with the new financial burdens. They eventually embarked on a period of travel and simplified living to rebuild.

* The Beginning of a New Path Nick highlighted Landon's point about trusting oneself and the common fear that change will initially be more painful. Landon emphasized that things tend to worsen without change and that the period after making a significant decision is the beginning of improvement. He noted that the journey after closing the business was not a linear progression but involved ups and downs. It was the start of a process of self-discovery, experimentation, and seeking guidance through podcasts, books, and coaches.

* Shifting Motivations and Priorities Landon explained that his primary motivation shifted from money to personal happiness and designing a lifestyle-first business. He realized that he and his wife were primarily driven by experiential and emotional fulfillment, rather than purely financial targets. This led to a focus on creating a sustainable business that allows for personal time and enjoyment. Landon also emphasized the importance of self-reflection, therapy, and consciously prioritizing personal needs.

* The Impact of Pressure and the Joy of Living Nick reflected on the negative impact of putting pressure on oneself to monetize passions, which can diminish the joy derived from those activities. Landon reiterated the importance of self-reflection and asking oneself what one truly wants. Nick emphasized the tendency to prioritize the needs of others over oneself and the value of checking in with one's own feelings and needs.

* Advice for Finding Time for Self-Care Nick inquired about advice for individuals with demanding schedules seeking to incorporate self-care. Landon acknowledged the varying circumstances and privileges that affect one's ability to make significant changes. He suggested being kind to oneself and recognizing that current behaviors once served a purpose. Landon proposed "softening the edges" of unhelpful behaviors through awareness rather than expecting them to disappear entirely.

* The Role of Awareness and Small Steps Landon stressed that the journey to self-care begins with awareness of recurring themes and curiosities. He shared his personal experience of returning to writing and recognizing the stress caused by phone calls as examples of such awareness. Landon advocated for resourcing oneself through various means like books and podcasts, and for making very small, incremental changes. He emphasized that self-care practices for the body, mind, and joy are crucial, and these will differ for everyone.

* Challenging Societal Conditioning and External Influences Landon cautioned against the societal conditioning, often driven by capitalism, that promotes a singular "right" way to achieve happiness. He highlighted the validity of different paths to well-being, including enjoying a traditional job. Landon also emphasized the importance of filtering and limiting external inputs, such as social media and unaligned courses, that can negatively influence one's well-being. He now approaches business with curiosity and integrity, prioritizing what serves him personally.

* The Snowball Effect of Awareness and Letting Go Nick summarized Landon's insights, emphasizing that self-care begins with awareness, which can create a positive snowball effect of recognizing and releasing what no longer serves. This process involves an internal realization of what feels good, contrasting with the negative emotions that arise from stress and frustration. Nick and Landon discussed the importance of understanding the reasons behind past behaviors without self-judgment. Letting go of unhelpful patterns creates space for desired experiences and feelings.

* The Gradual Nature of Personal Change Landon emphasized that letting go is not an instantaneous event but a gradual process of awareness and curiosity. He used the analogy of discovering lactose intolerance to illustrate how recognizing negative feelings after certain actions can guide one towards positive changes. Small, consistent adjustments can lead to significant long-term outcomes, and setbacks can provide valuable insights. Landon shared his personal journey of self-discovery related to his neurodiversity, which further enhanced his self-awareness and acceptance. He underscored the importance of trust in oneself throughout this non-linear journey.

* The Okayness of Trial and Error in Self-Care Nick highlighted the value of a trial-and-error approach in finding what works for individual self-care, noting that it is a learning experience rather than failure. He asked Landon to share his personal self-care routine to provide examples for listeners.

* Landon's Personal Self-Care Routine Landon detailed his self-care routine, emphasizing that physical activity, particularly a morning workout, has been a long-standing and crucial element for his well-being. He prioritizes writing for his business in the mornings. Landon aims to end his workdays early (around 1-2 pm) as part of a "slow business" philosophy inspired by his therapist's concerns about burnout. He incorporates mindfulness practices like journaling, reflection, deep breathing, and meditation, followed by joy-inducing activities such as learning Spanish on Duolingo and playing chess. Landon also shared his ongoing exploration of hobbies, driven by a desire to balance his past overachieving tendencies. He actively experiments with various activities like coding, basketball, pickleball, and considers others like tai chi and beach volleyball.

* Finding Meaning and Enjoyment Landon Poburan discussed their philosophy of bringing meaning to one's experiences and enjoying things, contrasting this with a view that humans weren't inherently designed for happiness. Landon believes defining meaning is personal and currently structures their day around this idea.

* Exploring Possibilities and Overcoming Fear Nick Neve expressed feeling inspired by the idea of trying anything, noting that fear, particularly of difficulty, often prevents people from doing so. Nick suggested that initial difficulty is normal and doesn't equate to failure, comparing this to exploring a video game or the world and learning new things.

* Embracing Activities Without Perfectionism Landon emphasized the importance of doing things without the pressure to be the best, citing a book, "How to be Enough" by Ellen Hendrickson, which addresses perfectionism and the joy of hobbies for their own sake. Landon is personally working on softening their own perfectionist tendencies.

* Appreciation and Future Topics Nick thanked Landon for their time, vulnerability, and insights, believing the episode offered valuable information and would encourage listeners to explore new things and seek inner peace. Landon also enjoyed the conversation and hoped to encourage listeners to shift their perspectives. Nick announced the next episode would focus on relationships and self-improvement.

If you need help with a recent break-up, putting yourself back out there in the dating world, or feel lost when it comes to relationships, message me below, I’d love to help.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 21: Rejection Reflects Them, Not You

We grow up hearing we’re responsible for how other people feel. It sounds like it makes sense but over the years, I’ve noticed that it’s actually not true.

Let me show you what I mean.

A while back I worked at CVS with a girl named Valerie. We had great chemistry and were always joking around while flirting with each other. When the fall fair rolled around, I asked her to go with me. She said she wanted to but had a project due the next day. Fair enough. I shrugged it off and took my brother instead.

First stop at the fair was the fried‑dough truck. I take a huge bite, spin around, and there’s Valerie with her arm around another guy, laughing like she would laugh with me at work.

We locked eyes. Powdered sugar rained down my shirt.

She opened her mouth to explain but I turned quickly and walked away without looking back. I just couldn’t handle that moment.

That night I sat in bed replaying it. I told myself she’d played me. I felt unlovable. My confidence tanked. From the outside it looked obvious. She lied, I was hurt because of that, end of story

What I didn’t see then was how much of my worth I’d been outsourcing. If someone showed me affection, I felt okay. If they didn’t, I assumed something was wrong with me. No inner foundation; just other people’s reactions propping me up.

Funny part? Spotting her at that truck was a gift. If I’d missed it, she’d have been dating two guys and the crash later would’ve been rougher. Took me a while to realize that.

Here’s the bigger pattern: I’d learned early that if someone lets you down, it must be your fault. They’re fine, you messed up. That belief hands your power straight over to them. Their opinion becomes the core truth or who you are.

A few repeats of the Valerie story finally cracked the code for me. Other people’s choices usually say more about their season of life than about my value.

Things like:

* Timing

* Comfort level

* Personal baggage

Those are the things that often drive people to make the decisions they make.

Think about relationships where attraction never sparked until months later, or when someone pulled back because they’d just ended another relationship.

Most of the time if they’re giving you signals but won’t take it further, It’s not about you being “not enough”.

It’s usually just wrong timing or too much on their plate.

This exact scenario actually happened with my now wife. We met, became friends first and in 2015 I made a move to show her I was interested. She told me she didn’t know if she felt the same way.

She was still in school and had a lot on her plate; that’s what she was most focused on at the time, not dating.

We stayed friends and two years later in 2017 she told me she had developed attraction for me. So we tried another date. Things went well for a few weeks, but the timing still wasn’t right.

I was beginning to think perhaps things weren’t meant to work out but the truth was, we both still had a lot in focus. I had just started a new business, and she was pursuing a masters degree.

In 2018, after her schoolwork had slowed down, she asked me on a date to see a show. That was the magical night. We’ve been together for the last 7 years and married last year.

The takeaway from this story?

If the signs are there and you feel the chemistry but things aren’t moving forward as planned, instead of jumping to the conclusions of

* There’s something wrong with me

* I’m not good enough

* I will never find love

Ask yourself first if there’s something larger at play. Does it seem like the right moment for you to date right now? Are either one of you going through something heavy or have an overpacked schedule that allows very little time?

Being able to be logical about the situation will prevent you from harming yourself because things didn’t work out in the exact way you planned.

Let’s push things a bit further with this for a moment.

Suppose someone passes on you because you’re a nerd, short in height, or don’t make lots of money.

That feels personal on the surface, but let’s dig deeper.

Somewhere down the road, they picked up the rule that nerds aren’t cool, short partners can’t protect their families, or money equals security. Those rules live in their story, not yours. And guess what? Plenty of people out there love a nerd, prefer a shorter partner, or care more about shared values than your paycheck. It’s never black or white.

The bottom line is:

Their reaction shouldn’t dictate your self-worth. Their reaction is merely a snapshot of where they are and what they believe right now.

Keep your power.

Build your own foundation.

When you recognize that you dictate how your life unfolds with your own energy, other’s won’t be able to help but notice that you’re marching to the beat of your own drum. And there’s something attractive about that.

You’re more concerned with how you’re living your life and the goals you’re achieving than obsessing over finding the right person to complete you.

That kind of independence will not go unnoticed in the dating world and if you’re single and looking, you’ll have much more success when you can show you’re interested, but not desperate about it.

And next time someone’s choice stings, remember—it usually doesn’t have anything to do with you.

If you need help with a recent break-up, putting yourself back out there in the dating world, or feel lost when it comes to relationships, message me below, I’d love to help.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 20: How Vulnerability Can Either Make Or Break Your Relationship

I’d like to set an intention before getting into this episode. The advice that you will hear does not just pertain to romantic relationships. These suggestions also work incredibly well when it comes to relationships with family, friends, and at the workplace.

Throughout my time observing all sorts of different relationships, I’ve noticed that the main reason why things don’t work out and ultimately lead to the relationship failing. It has to do with lack of communication but what does that mean exactly?

Both people speak the same language, so why can’t they communicate?

The answer lies in vulnerability

We’re scared to be honest with our partners, for various reasons. If you break it down to the main fear, you’re left with:

People don’t communicate the truth to their partners about their feelings and needs because they’re afraid of rocking the boat. The ultimate fear is the relationship ending.

The interesting thing about this fear is that if you then avoid being vulnerable in your communication to try to prevent the relationship from failing, more often than not, it ends up failing anyway.

However, the way in which it fails constitutes a much slower death to the relationship— and it’s usually much more painful on the way down.

It’s kind of like ripping a band-aid off versus trying to strategically remove it without feeling pain. We all know how that goes… Ripping it off is scarier but actually produces less pain in the long run.

Once we understand that avoiding communication is almost a sure factor to make sure the relationship fails, we begin to become more open and willing to communicate honestly.

Here’s the secret to being vulnerable in your relationships

The way you say things.. Is everything

Words have a lot of power, and knowing how to use them effectively can really craft not only a strong relationship, but trust that 2 people can weather the storm when things get difficult.

How do you know what words to use?

Before you initiate a conversation, think to yourself

“How can I say this in a way that won’t hurt my the other person”

Odds are that you know the other person’s habits, and how t hey respond to certain communication. The goal here isn’t to hurt the other person to “get even” or show them that they’ve been causing you pain.

Rather, the ultimate goal is to cultivate and strengthen the relationship so that good feelings are felt on both sides and the relationship continues to grow, with both of you benefitting from it.

Now I’m going to show you how to communicate properly so you have a better chance at getting what you want, while helping them understand and support you at the same time.

1. Be mindful about when and how you bring up emotionally charged topics.

Instead of diving in with a direct attack from pent up emotions such as:

“You’re always looking at your phone when I try to talk to you…”

Try something more like:

"Hey, there’s something on my mind I’d like to talk about — when would be a good time for you?"

This allows the person to gather themselves together and prepare to have a conversation with you. Instead of just springing it on them when you’re emotionally charged, which usually leads to the other person reacting in an emotionally charged way as well. This is one of the main reasons why fights start and you can mitigate this risk, by controlling your emotions and starting the conversation off on the right foot.

Pro tip: If the other person curiously asks: “What is this about?”

You don’t want to force the conversation at that moment unless you feel that you are both relaxed and have time to talk. If that’s not the case you can simply respond with

“I just want to share some stuff that’s been coming up for me recently, but I want to make sure we have enough time and space to talk about it. I believe everything will be fine, I just want to make sure we don’t have anything else going on when we talk about this”

If the person gets more aggressive and keeps pushing the most important thing to do is not raise your voice and remain calm. Keep assuring them that this is how you want to structure the beginning of the conversation and keep asking them when they feel like they’ll have enough time and emotional availability to have a healthy discussion

2. When tension builds in relationships, that’s when things start to get heated. This is a sign that a discussion and reconnection is absolutely needed.

Keep in mind that the goal is to understand each other and to have respect for each others needs. This is how you create a trustworthy connection with one another.

Most times when tension starts to build, people move away from communication because they’re afraid of making things worse.

But the key here is to understand that tension is a sign that re-connection needs to happen because there is something in the relationship that is leading to uncertainty.

Once you realize that you’re a team and you need to work together for a strong connection to be felt on both sides, the game changes completely.

It’s not about being right, it’s about feeling understood and mirroring that for your partner on the other end. That means, you go out of your way to understand them, their feelings, what matters to them, and what their needs are. When you ask these kinds of questions, it’s not a form of weakness but rather strength. You’re showing the other person that you care about building a strong relationship that works for both of you.

A relationship is never about one person’s needs being met. Yes, oftentimes we do focus on our own needs more than the needs of others—but we must also understand that a relationship truly flourishes when needs are met on both sides. If one person is satisfied, but the other isn’t, there’s good odds there will be a breakup down the road if that is not repaired.

3. Never “Assume”, Always Communicate

Even when things are going well, you still want to leave the communication gap open. This means, always checking in with the other person to make sure they are feeling good, seen, and heard in the connection they have with you. Giving them an invitation to share things that are on their mind.

If it’s hard for you to talk about something, that’s ok, you can lead with that. Saying something like: “This is a really challenging thing to bring up” or “This is a hard conversation for me to have, but I know how important it is for our relationships”

There have been difficult conversations I’ve had to have with my wife because I knew it was important to discuss certain matters in our relationship and when I opened the conversation in that way, it prepared her to be easier with me because she knew it was a challenging topic for me, but also knew that I cared enough about our relationship to stay in it with her. Those are the moments that will actually make a connection stronger, even if you’re discussing something difficult.

I hope that these examples helped show you how important and necessary open communication is in relationships. Even if it’s hard, admitting that before you start a talk can make the world a difference. Just like when you stand up to give a speech, if you’re nervous and you admit that to the audience, it all of a sudden gets a lot easier. Same thing goes with this.

If you need help with any relationship you have, in any aspect, my DM’s are always open to you. Asking for help is a form of strength, not weakness.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 19: Here's Why You Don't Take Care Of Yourself

Hey everyone! A bit of a blunt topic title, I know. But I appreciate your interest and I want to share this message with you because I’ve truly seen my life do a complete 180 since I came full circle to understand this concept. Diving right in, here’s what to expect from this episode. We’re going to talk about:

* The main reasons why you don’t take care of yourself

* Why most people secretly believe it’s not that important

* Why self-care ACTUALLY has a HUGE payout, and what that payout is

By the end of this episode my hope is that you’ll be inspired to give yourself a little more personal time and focus than you do right now.

I believe the reason why we aren’t motivated to do this is simply because we secretly don’t believe our life will change that much if we slow down. There’s just so much to do all the time that we just need to keep going. We’re taught that getting things done is the “right way to live” because it brings us the most fulfillment. But evidence hasn’t shown us that this doesn’t pan out, and so today we’re going to make a change.

Thank you for your trust and attention today. Let’s get started.

We’ll begin with the main reasons why we don’t take care of ourselves.

From my observations I believe one of the top reasons is that most of us just don’t believe it’s worth it to take the extra time.

Now why would we think that?

Interestingly enough, most people are stuck in constant anxiety, stress, and overstimulation and most aren’t even aware of it.

When you’re stuck in an anxious loop, you’re always thinking about the next thing, and more focused on checking things off a list and clearing things from your plate than how you actually feel throughout the day.

Taking care of things on our to-do list does bring a feeling of short term fulfillment, but the problem is most times, it doesn’t take care of your nervous system unless that activity on your to-do list is intentionally put there for self-care.

Even a “self-care” activity like yoga that is done from a wrong angle such as “trying to just get through it to complete it” will more often than not leave you feeling the same, with frustrations and short fuses still present.

To complete this example, a better angle to consider with yoga is focusing on the action you’re doing in the present, your breathing, the pose you’re in, and the wonderful decision you made to do something wonderful for yourself.

Keeping this focus will not only give you the best out of your practice, you’ll be nurturing your nervous system and giving your mind a rest at the same time. How you focus matters, it can change the experience completely.

So now that we know that anxiety, stress, and overstimulation are the driving factors why we cannot bring ourselves to slow down and accept a relaxing, recharging activity, what can you do if you decide you want to change that?

The first thing is recognizing and being aware of the way you feel during the day. If we can’t recognize when we’re overly anxious, the impulse to change it will never happen. So first we look at the behavior patterns.

Here are a few signs that show us anxiety is running our lives

* constantly looking at our phone (can’t be without doing something)

* quick body movements with no justifiable reason

* Inability to focus attention or listen for more than a few minutes

* Fast speech patterns

* An endless to-do list

* Feeling frustrated that there never seems to be enough time

Here’s the truth:

Anxiety keeps you moving either physically or mentally. When you’re unable to slow down, it’s difficult to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is a form of restoration where you’re allowing yourself to rest and recharge. It’s a conscious choice that needs to be made by YOU. It’s not automatic which means it will never happen on it’s own.

If you’re in a constant state of fight or flight, it’s almost impossible to allow yourself to slow down. And if you try to force it? It feels really uncomfortable and you won’t be able to stay there for long. I’ve tried that one many times.

Ever try to meditate or relax when you’ve had too much caffeine? That’s what I’m talking about.

So why do so many of us deem slowing down and taking care of ourselves to be unimportant? My hypothesis is that the feelings of stress, worry, and anxiety keep us distracted from being able to see the bigger picture around us. But first we really have to identify what the main causes of those feelings are when we experience them.

A question I asked myself recently is, why are so many of us so stressed and on edge?

I actually decided to meditate on it.

Here’s what came through:

Technology has made our world way more fast paced than we’re used to. It has truly captured most of our attention.

It has also increased our expectations. For example. It’s common to send an email or a text and then get frustrated with the person on the other end if they haven’t responded within 1 hour. We assume because everyone carries a phone around nowadays that they see our messages quickly— so why aren’t they getting back to us then? This leads us to take things personally when more often than not, the other person has an endless to-do list of their own, and quite often can’t get back to you until things slow down a bit for them.

It’s also important to note that if they’re a high achiever and seem to live a balanced life, they do this intentionally because responding to every “notification” as soon as they see it increases anxiety levels exponentially. They’re aware of this and keep themselves out of this realm. It’s precisely how they’ve been able to craft a balanced life for themselves.

Instead of taking things personally all the time, we can actually learn a lot from the people who have it together, because they’re leading by example.

In fact, if we don’t set limits for ourselves, we will keep pushing the ceiling until the roof finally blows off. And by then it’s too late because we’re burnt out and more frustrated than ever.

It’s our responsibility to maintain awareness and know what our limits are. You can become aware of your own limits by looking at past situations that placed you in a highly anxious state. That’s your body telling you that you went over the limit. The body gives us incredible feedback if we choose to take it that way.

Lots of times we look to others to “save us” or “meet our needs”. After all it’s conditioned from childhood to rely on our parents and schools to bring us what we need.

But what they don’t tell you growing up is that you’re 100% responsible for your life and how it is lived. Assuming that responsibility is what gives you clarity and power in your life. Grab the steering wheel, because if you don’t the car will drive itself. And who knows if it’ll take you where you actually want to go.

Now it’s time for the real nugget inside this episode.

What are the benefits of taking care of yourself and why does it have such a huge payout for you?

The short answer is that nothing feels better than feeling comfortable in your own life. This is not cultivated from the outside world, but rather how we choose to see and feel things that happen in our lives. It’s the way we process these experiences from the inside that really creates how we see the world, and how we live in it.

The one word I use to describe this is “awareness”. The misconception about this is that most believe awareness is an inherent thing that we all know how to do automatically. The truth is, this was the case when we were born, but we quickly lost sight of it with the bombardment of distractions and the “system” we all live in being forced upon us. Essentially the lives that we live now are within that “societal system of acceptance”, where it actually doesn’t matter what the right thing to do is, but rather, what is accepted by the masses.

Society was in fact created, and it was not created with your best interests in mind. This is the reason why so many are lost, unfulfilled, overly anxious, and descending deeper and deeper into the ocean each year.

It’s because the things that were promised under this system actually don’t deliver. In this case, the system is a scam, and once you see that, you can happily create your own.

Despite what the system promises, A simple look around will tell you that:

* Making loads of money leads more people to misery than fulfillment

* Staying busy all the time leaves you feeling more anxious and stressed out than actually fulfilled

* Climbing the career ladder often leaves people feeling empty, not empowered.

* Prioritizing productivity over presence disconnects you from what actually matters.

* Seeking validation through status or followers rarely leads to real connection.

* Suppressing emotions to “stay strong” breeds isolation, not resilience.

So how are we supposed to quote “live our best lives” if we’re using a system to guide us that doesn’t work as advertised?

This is where change is invited in.

If things are not working out, your life experiences will show you that over and over again as a sign to try a different direction.

It’s not punishing you, it’s nudging you to try something different so you can actually get what you want.

Awareness IS Power

You can’t change unless you’re aware of what you need to change. Realizing that cramming our schedules with endless to-dos and keeping our body in a state of anxiety all day is not going to lead to us feeling accomplished and worthy at the end of the day. It’s going to produce poor sleep in the evenings, the need to make even more money, and do more things so that hopefully it will eventually be enough where we can just smile and sit down and say “I’ve made it”.

The truth is: It’s much more simple than you think, you just need to figure out what your own limits are.

Oftentimes less is more

The man who can go for a hike in the woods at 2pm any day of the week feels more free than the man who works 60+ hours per week and has millions in the bank.

The mom who carves out time for herself each day so she can show up better for her lover and kids feels more fulfilled than the mom who micromanages every aspect of her day because they feel that type of control is needed to create the perfect family dynamic

The person who decides to rest when they need it most likely achieves more overall in the long-term than someone who demands maximum productivity from themselves and forces themself into burnout over and over.

Life is all about strategy. Do you have a strategy for your life? Or are you just waking up every day and turning that treadmill on full blast until you fly off it?

The best thing you can do for yourself is take a hard look at how you’re living right now

What is stressing you out the most? What if you made some changes? Asked for help? Communicated to people that you love that you need to make some changes to re-ground yourself so you can show up better for them.

Putting a strategy together for yourself wins over autopilot every single time.

I’m curious if this has sparked brainstorming in you and if you feel inspired to do less of anything or make any changes in your life.

Let me know in the comments or send me a message. If you feel like you need help restructuring your life so you feel less anxious and more fulfilled. I can help you with that. Message me below to take charge of your life and do what most won’t.

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

Ep 18: Why Romantic Partnerships Don't Complete You

Through my work studying Human Behavior over the last 2 decades, I’ve developed a strong observational skillset. And over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme in the dating world.

Most single people out there are searching for “their perfect person” and believe that they need to find someone in order to: “complete themselves”

We’re going to be talking about this today because this is something that controlled the theme of my life for quite some time. And my goal here is to hopefully convince you to stop waiting and start living.

Before we get started I want to give you a preview on what we’ll be talking about. This episode will focus on:

* The mistake most people make when searching for love

* How to correctly attract your ideal partner into your life

* Why a partner cannot complete you or meet all your needs

* How to make sure your needs ARE met

This is going to be quite a fun episode. I’m excited.

Let’s dive in.

I want to start out by sharing with you that I spent the majority of my life single and confused. Every direction I turned in, I saw people, movies, books, and later social media all showcasing the same underlying message.

“You need someone to complete you in life and you can’t experience ultimate happiness until you find that person”

The interesting thing that I noticed about myself from mostly failing in the dating world was that the more I tried to force “finding my person” the more things just didn’t seem to work out.

I always blamed the other person for not being interested or not understanding the kind of person I was and the value I would be able to offer in the relationship.

I even used my authentic voice and told some potential partners over the years what I could bring to the relationship, but that didn’t seem to move the needle forward either.

I always thought I was “good enough” and my family and friends also echoed that in support while I was growing up.

But after I experienced difficulty in the romance world, I started to doubt whether that was true or not.

It took me a long time to live by the following philosophy

Show. Do not tell.

The truth is that most people aren’t interested in what you have to say, they want to see it put into action.

And I wasn’t doing that because I was too obsessed with just finding another date instead of trusting myself and living my life authentically, I became obsessed with proving myself to potential partners in the dating scene because deep down I didn’t think I was strong enough to tackle life all on my own.

I felt like if someone else believed in me, it would give me the permission to believe in myself, which would make everything possible.

Which brings me to the first point I laid out above:

The mistake most people make when searching for love

The biggest mistake I made and most people still make today is that they become obsessed with finding a partner, and don’t give themselves permission to fully live their life until they do.

This may sound fine to do — because in the “working world” you’re supposed to chase your dreams with absolute ferocity until you achieve them.

So why doesn’t that work here in the world of romance?

Obsessing over dating and partners oftentimes carries a certain energy to it. That energy is read along the lines of desperation, where it seems like you’re trying too hard to make everything work. There is also the energy of stress and worry carried along with this because when you’re on dates, you’re always:

* Worried about saying the right thing

* Worried about how you look

* Worried about your confidence, which oftentimes make you seem less confident

* Scared of the outcome you fear the most, which is that it won’t work out

* Doubting yourself and too hyper focused on the words the other person says which may or may not reflect interest in you

Sometimes obsessing over something makes us even more tense, which others can pick up on. People tend to stay away from tension, fear, worry, and stress because these are qualities that we don’t want in our lives.

Now I’m going to tell you the good news.

Once you realize what’s really going on in this pattern, you can change it! And the best part? You won’t have to stay stuck in it like I did for most of my life.

Which brings us to the second point I want to make in this episode:

How to correctly attract your ideal partner into your life

This is going to sound insane but hear me out.

Have you ever heard of the saying:

“Love will find you when you least expect it?”

Sounds poetic right? But what does it really mean?

In a nutshell, it means that you will find love when you’re not looking for it.

Most of us have heard of this but we silently dismiss it because we don’t like the way it sounds.

But the things is… It actually works

When you are able to confidently give up the feeling of lack that you experience by not having a partner, it empowers you to become the person you need to be to bring satisfaction and fulfillment into your life.

So what was my take on this after breaking it down even more?

“You will find love when you’re living your life authentically, focusing on yourself, and enjoying the process of watching life happen for you?”

Sounds a bit cliche, is it even true?

Yes, yes it is.

How does this work energetically?

When you feel bad because you don’t have a partner, energetically, it tells your inner self, as well as the people around you that you don’t feel like you’re enough on your own.

This is tough in the dating world because most people are searching for someone who is confident with who they are and what they’re doing. Let me be clear, you don’t need to have a perfect body, tons of money, or a large history of successes. You just need to be comfortable in your own skin, living authentically as yourself. Don’t apologize for your opinions, your habits, your interests. Realize that this life is yours and no one can really judge you except yourself.

To see this more clearly, you can ask yourself how you would feel about dating someone who seemed unsure of themselves, lived in a state of lack, and came across as needy or desperate in most situations.

You may not want to hear this but I’m a firm believer that knowledge is power and what I’ve found out is when you are emitting energies that pertain to:

* Desperation

* Fear

* Anxiety

* Frustration

People tend to avoid and distance themselves from those spaces. Wouldn’t you do the same? Once you can see this, you start to analyze your life and see how you can care for yourself so you won’t feel this way as often.

Again you don’t have to become a perfect person in all facets, you just have to become comfortable being you and living life as you are. That will be enough to start attracting like-minded people your way.

This was the very thing I was experiencing on the inside during most of my dating life experience. I didn’t realize that my energy was being felt by these other women and this is exactly what was causing them to be unsure about picking me as a partner.

One day I decided to stop obsessing over finding someone, and instead stepped into my power to live life on my terms. I was scared to do this deep down, which is why I avoided it for almost 15 years. But if there’s anything I can pass onto you it’s this: Don’t wait as long as I did. It seems like letting go of this feeling is going to guarantee you’ll be alone for the rest of your life, but trust me when I say that’s not true and this will be the best change you ever made for yourself.

So how did I pull myself out of feelings that pertained to lack and not feeling like I was good enough for love?

I took full responsibility and took my life into my own hands.

I started my own business and began working out again daily. This quickly made me start to feel better because I was taking care of a need that I had been ignoring for so long.

That need was caring for myself in the way I needed to be cared for. I always thought that other people were responsible for showing their love and admiration first so that would give me permission to do the same.

But what I didn’t realize is that I can and should give that same love to myself, and it feels just as good if not better.

Strangely enough, a few months after I made this shift lo and behold, I was actually asked out by this girl who became my girlfriend a few weeks after our first date. Fast forward to today, we are happily married. The fact that all this happened gave me the clarity I needed to explain why this actually works.

You see, when I decided to change my life focus to showing love for myself and caring for my own needs, my energy completely changed and I didn’t seem unhappy or like something was always missing. I just decided to finally trust in my life path, and knew that the universe would guide me.

If this seems a bit woo woo, I understand your skepticism. The best way I can explain it is that your energy and frequency is the main result of what you have brought into your life so far. If you keep waking up and focusing on the same things, the same things keep happening. After 15 years of trying to force life in the direction I wanted it to go in, I finally got the hint, surrendered control, and set a new goal for myself to take life one day at a time and just enjoy each day.

If you’re single and listening to this, you may be thinking

“It’s easy for you to say, you’re married now and have all that”.

Let’s talk about that for a second.

I grew up in a family that stressed the importance of finding someone to complete you so I really believed that would be the case.

Now that I’m in that situation where I’ve found someone, I realized actually very little has changed in the way I show up for myself.

I’m still responsible for:

* Taking care of myself

* Making sure my needs are met

* Believing in myself

* My own growth and meeting my own goals

My wife is an incredible support system and I’m lucky to say that she loves me and believes in me which is something I’ve always dreamed of. I will always be grateful for the connection I have with her.

But I still have my struggles when it comes to believing in myself and believing I’m enough, just as I always have. And she also has similar struggles that come up from time to time in her life.

What I’ve noticed is that you can be surrounded by an entire group of people who believe in you, support you, and love you—but if you don’t believe in yourself, care for yourself, and love yourself, you will still feel that void and struggle, whether you’re single or in a relationship.

I didn’t just gather this from my own relationship by the way, I’ve seen this same theme play out in hundreds of relationships over the years.

The best advice I can give you moving forward is to “complete” yourself first and then you will find someone who will complement that.

How do you start doing this?

Treat yourself as you would a good friend.

Show up for yourself, don’t cancel an appointment you make with yourself to work on a goal in your life.

Respect yourself as you would someone important in your life. The relationship you cultivate with yourself matters more than any other one out there.

It’s your basic foundation for a wonderful life, whether you’re living it single or with someone.

If you’re navigating something similar in your life right now and could use an extra hand, I’m always open to offering insights.

We can even work on a plan to get you on the right track to: loving and caring for yourself, positioning yourself to find the right partner, or navigating you through a difficult situation you may be in with your current partner.

I’ve seen so many people’s lives changed in the relationship world, including my own. This is why I’ve come to believe in this so strongly, and I know it can and will work for you too!

Reach out if you feel called to do so.

Thanks for tuning into this episode, I hope this information was helpful for you! If you’d like to share a unique situation you’re in, I welcome that in the comments! We learn by sharing our stories.

Be sure to tune in every Monday where I’ll be talking about a different problem that is common in relationships and how to go about solving it.

Have a problem you want me to write about? Let me know in the comments or DM me and I may do an episode on it!

Thanks again for reading and have a wonderful week everyone!

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 17: The Danger of Waiting for Someone Else to Change

I’d like to start this podcast episode off by letting you know that I have spent years, decades even exploring this concept and for the majority of that time, I’ve found myself right in the quicksand resisting what my gut was always telling me—and just “hoping” for some sort of automatic change.

I’ve explored all different types of relationships with people of all ages including: Friends, Family, Coworkers, you name it. And I’ve noticed a few common things in all these connections that I’d like to share with you.

I want to go over these one by one with you. We’ll explore why it seems like these strategies may work, but there’s also an underlying reason why they also may not produce the result we’re looking for.

My hope is that breaking down these common scenarios will help you look at things differently, which will lead to a change in how you approach things. This will not only give you the best chance to succeed in helping someone change who is ready, but it will also give you permission to let go and move on if that’s really what you need to take care of yourself. Let’s start with number 1.

* People rarely change on their own unless an event happens in their lives that really breaks them—and even then sometimes they still resist change.

I see this pattern in a lot of different relationships but there is one family member who comes to mind. He had a very difficult childhood, never met his father and was without a male role model growing up. He also had a mother who was an addict and “unavailable” most times. This created great difficulty for him growing up and he turned to drugs as a coping mechanism. Even though heavy experiences happened to him such as: losing members in his close circle due to addiction and living on the street after being kicked out of his apartment and fired from his job due to drug usage, he still did not accept help from anyone or ever express interest in change. The takeaway here is that sometimes, people will resist change at all costs, no matter what happens to them. If you happen to be connected to someone like this, it’s important to step back for a moment and ask yourself the following questions:

* Have they ever expressed interest in changing any of their habits or behaviors?

* Have I had a calm discussion with them explaining how their habits / behaviors affect myself and others? If yes, how did they respond to it? If no, this is a great step to try when you feel you’re ready

* Am I able to accept who they are if they don’t decide to change or is this a dealbreaker?

It’s important to be able to explore these questions from a place that doesn’t identify you as a victim. When you step outside that box, you’ll be able to think and process things more clearly, instead of being emotionally charged, with the primary focus on your own suffering being relieved by changes they could make. Answering these questions authentically will help you make the correct decision moving forward with this relationship.

* No matter how skilled we may think we are, we cannot force someone else to change by: making threats and creating ultimatums such as the example “Well if I was good enough for you or if you loved me enough, you would change”

A connection comes to mind in my life where I remember trying to help someone through a difficult emotional time while they were suffering from choosing the wrong partners as they searched for the right partner to complement them.

I devoted just about a decade of my time talking this person through different scenarios of why the partners they were choosing were not working out for them over the years.

The frustrating thing was that they made very little progress over those 10 years, if any. I couldn’t understand why at first and then it hit me.

They were not really taking in what I was saying and sometimes I noticed they weren’t listening altogether.

Their attention was distracted with other thoughts, anxieties, etc. This was a great lesson for me to realize that although people may continue to talk about their problems, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready for change.

Most times they’re just looking for an instant fix, and those show up about as often as your chances for winning the lottery.

At first, I took things very personally in thinking: “This person doesn’t value my time, or they don’t trust my advice. Perhaps they don’t care about me enough or trust me enough to try what I’m saying”.

I learned that it almost always has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own fears and limiting beliefs. Which brought me to the conclusion: You can’t force someone to change or act no matter how skilled you may be. When you’re in a similar situation it’s important to ask the following questions.

Is this person actually ready for change? Have they expressed that?

- This is a great piece of info because it tells you if your time is going to be “wasted” or respected. In the above example, I chose to give my time repeatedly to this person even though they were not ready for action. Guard who you give your time to wisely, it shows great respect for yourself.

The next one is:

Does it seem like they want to actually fix the problem? Or do they just want to vent and ruminate over it?

- Ah yes the famous energy vampires. If you notice someone complaining about the same thing over and over but not actively searching for solutions, this is the category they will fall into. Be mindful of this because you’ll be burning unnecessary energy by trying to help them over and over again. It’s best to take a step back in these situations and let them take full responsibility for what they are feeling, until they express the willingness to do something about it. Remember it’s not your responsibility to take on the weight of their lives or fix them. This is their responsibility, and they are responsible ultimately for fixing themselves. It’s ok to back off and preserve your sense of well-being, especially if your energy is not being respected.

* Oftentimes we may assume that the other person always “wants” to change because they may be stuck in a bad place, or bad habit and we feel that no one would want to be in that situation.

Logistically, this is a very valid point and I can understand why most people may wonder this. The thing is though, they truly may be experiencing a high degree of suffering. But if we put ourselves in their shoes for a moment, we can realize that the fear of stepping into the unknown carries the illusion of even greater suffering than the current situation being experienced. In this person’s case, their mind is telling them “The Devil you know, is better than the Devil you don’t”. At least in this uncomfortable place, they know what to expect. The fear behind stepping out of that comfortable box is even more terrifying than the torture inside it. What would happen if they did fix the issue? What would be expected of them then? Would they become stressed out with having to handle even more responsibility? Oftentimes, our minds direct us right to these pain points, instead of focusing on all the incredible things that will come from a change like this. If we were able to switch our minds over to realize the benefits, we would quickly realize these benefits would greatly outweigh the fears, and the change would be easier to accept, inviting even.

Over the years, I’ve watched countless family members battle addiction with different substances and medications. Most of them passed earlier in life due to their choices and none of them ever asked for help. Perhaps they didn’t want to change, or appear weak in asking someone else for assistance. After all, an addiction becomes even more shameful when it’s recognized by others and not a secret within us.

I remember my Dad looking for support while going through difficulty in his marriage and he confided in a friend by telling him he was going to group therapy sessions. His friend looked at him, almost offended by what he said. “Why are you doing that? You don’t need therapy. Just get yourself together and handle it on your own”

Get yourself together? Handle it on your own you say? Interesting comment coming from his friend because he was doing everything but that in his own life. This friend was using uppers and downers throughout the entire day to regulate his emotions, was obese due to the imbalance this was causing within his body, and actually had no idea what it even meant to “get yourself together and just handle it”. He wasn’t handling everything but rather, burying it all.

This friend ended up passing earlier in life from these addictive habits. Never expressed interest in changing, never thought there was a problem. The takeaway here? Don’t think for a second that everything is obvious to everyone. Some people are so trapped within their own minds and behaviors, they aren’t able to look at things from the outside and see what is happening.

A Question to ask yourself when someone is deep within the confines of addiction.

Is this person aware of their bad habits and what it’s doing to them? Can they admit it?

If not, they’re not ready for change. We may not like that… but if we don’t respect that it’s their life and their choice, it will continue to cause us unnecessary harm, and most of that harm won’t even be recognized by the person you care about.

The takeaway here is that if you’re struggling with someone in your life who is causing pain to you, themself, and others, it’s important to recognize

* If they are aware of the harm they are causing

* If they want to change and are ready to try a new path

* If they respect your time and energy in trying to help them

What do you do when you feel like you’ve tried talking about it, giving them space, and putting your best energy forward to help them but still see no change?

As unpopular as this solution might be, more often than not, this is the time to back-off, regardless of how important this person is in your life. As much as we want to think we can change people, there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that suggests otherwise and most times, we’re just making the hole deeper by trying.

Something to recognize is that this is the way this person is choosing to live their life. It is their life to live and they have the full autonomy to do that?

Oftentimes, we want to change people in the first place so we ourselves don’t have to make a change.

Interesting irony in that isn’t there? Even though we care about them deeply, we want them to change so it makes our lives easier and makes us feel better when we’re around them.

If you’re stuck in a situation that keeps repeating itself to no avail, I’m here to give you permission to walk away. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or family. My opinion is that you shouldn’t have to suffer at the expense of someone else, especially if that suffering is not bringing about anything positive. You can always walk away, or distance yourself temporarily to give them time to reflect on why you’ve made the choice you have. If you don’t want to walk away, you can set boundaries to protect your peace which will allow you to still have a connection with them and not be tormented by it.

These suggestions still may not evoke change in them, but what they will do is slowly begin to give you piece of mind. Over time, you will see more and more that people’s decisions really are their own and that you will not be able to save everyone. The sadness surrounding this realization leaves once we being to understand that it’s simply a part of the game of life we’re all playing.

A good question to ask is: Why suffer over something that can’t go your way, simply because the law of life isn’t shaped that way.

It would be like getting mad every time it rains, even though we’re all well aware that we can’t control that. In that example, if you live in a place where it rains all the time, and you dislike that weather pattern, you can change your environment and relocate to a sunnier location. Even if you think your job or something else is trapping you in that “environment” I promise you, nothing keeps us anywhere unless we allow it.

I appreciate you joining me today and if you got something useful out of this episode, please hit “like” as it makes all the difference in making this more accessible to others who need to hear this info. The simple click of a button can make all the difference and I greatly appreciate it.

Lastly, these episodes go a long way in helping people resolve their problems but sometimes, we need a deeper level of support, which is why I’m always willing to work with you 1:1 to tackle your relationship problems. If you feel you need more support and guidance, my door is always open. Send me a message and let’s work together.

Thanks for tuning into this episode, I hope this information was helpful for you! If you’d like to share a unique situation you’re in, I welcome that in the comments! We learn by sharing our stories.

Be sure to tune in every Monday where I’ll be talking about a different problem that is common in relationships and how to go about solving it.

Have a problem you want me to write about? Let me know in the comments or DM me and I may do an episode on it!

Thanks again for reading and have a wonderful week everyone!

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

EP 16: Why Don’t They Just Say What They Mean?

Here is the unshakeable reality.

Everyone wants honesty in their relationships.

But not everyone gives it back.

As someone who pretty much questions everything nowadays, the first thought that comes to my mind here is:

Why do people expect things that they themselves cannot give?

The truth is that people value honesty because to them, honesty = certainty. We love to be certain about things in life. It helps us feel more comfortable about our life situation and our relationships.

Honesty helps us understand what’s really going on in front of us. Which means that a lack of honesty is going to create the opposite feeling:

Uncertainty.

Uncertainty is one of those things that is absolutely terrifying for people. We see it all the time in the news + investment markets. It drives people absolutely crazy.

But what about in relationships?

Yes, in fact the same thing happens. When we feel we don’t understand the person on the other side of the relationship, it rocks the boat for sure.

This isn’t just related to partnerships, this goes across all relationships.

In this episode we’re going to get to the bottom of why most people don’t say what they mean.

Once you understand the framework behind this, you’ll be able to work with people on the other side of your relationships to make them feel more comfortable about being honest with you.

This isn’t a guarantee that they will do it, since we don’t have the ability to control people. But what it will do is make you feel confident that you’ve taken the right steps to know if the person on the other end of the relationship CAN be honest and is willing to work with you on it.

Let’s dive in.

Why They Don’t Tell The Truth

Most people tend to hide the truth about what’s really going on inside due to:

* Fear of rejection

* Fear of conflict

* Fear of being misunderstood

* Trying to protect the relationship by not sharing “bad news”, which usually results in hurting the relationship more.

* Not being able to understand and identify the exact emotions they’re feeling

The thing is: People behavior in this way, not because they’re trying to deceive you, they’re actually just protecting themselves.

Most likely, they developed these fears earlier on during their childhood.

When we dig a little deeper, we realize that most people grew up in families where direct emotional expression wasn’t encouraged—in fact, it could have even been punished. Since these types of people were not encouraged to learn these behaviors early on, they are highly likely to develop a more guarded approach and indirect way of expressing themselves later in life.

In the past, I remember more than a few scenarios where I had a problem and sought out advice from someone else. However, when I went to explain what was going on, I would tell them just enough to get a solution out of them, hiding the more detailed story. This is exactly the form of indirect communication I’m talking about. I was one of the people who grew up in a household where expressing your feelings brought about a lack of empathy and frustration from my parents.

After realizing my behaviors from doing inner work and healing, I recognized my patterns and have been able to become more vulnerable over time with sharing stories.

Luckily, if you have a similar connection with someone who is not yet self-aware, there are some things you can do to help guide them to that place.

First, I would recommend having some compassion for where they are at due to the past situations they experienced growing up that have caused them to put up these blocks.

Once you find yourself in a state of compassion, I recommend trying the following:

How To Support Someone In Their Journey To Becoming More Honest

Start With Self-Reflection

Before addressing the other person, take a moment to turn inward. Ask yourself: Do I tend to get defensive when I hear hard truths? Have I reacted strongly in the past when someone was vulnerable with me? Do I truly listen, or do I tend to jump into advice or fixing mode? Sometimes, the emotional climate we unintentionally create makes it harder for people to be real with us. Creating psychological safety starts by being honest with yourself about how you show up in conversations.

Focus on Safety, Not Pressure

Pushing someone to "just be honest" can actually backfire. Vulnerability can't be forced—it can only be invited. Try saying something like: "I really value honesty, even when it's uncomfortable. I know it can be hard to share what's real, especially if you're not sure how the other person will take it. I just want you to know you don't have to filter anything with me." This kind of statement opens the door gently, without making the other person feel backed into a corner.

Listen Without Fixing

One of the fastest ways to shut someone down is to respond to their truth with correction, solutions, or minimizing: "It's not that bad." "You're just overthinking it." "You should've just said something!" Instead, when someone does start to open up—even a little—meet them with calm presence. A simple: "Thank you for telling me that. It means a lot that you trust me enough to be real," can go further than any piece of advice.

Lead With Vulnerability

If someone's struggling to be honest, it might be because they're afraid of being the "only one" with hard stuff to share. That fear of judgment is real. One of the best ways to make honesty contagious is to model it. Share your own thoughts, doubts, or emotions first—especially the imperfect ones: "I've been feeling a little unsure about where we stand lately, and I didn't want to just assume anything. I'd rather be honest about it than stay in my head." Your courage gives them permission to do the same.

Give Them Space to Process

Not everyone communicates their truth on demand. Some people need time to gather their thoughts, reflect, and feel safe enough to speak up. That doesn't mean they're being evasive—it may mean they're being careful. If you notice a pattern of avoidance, you can gently name it without judgment: "Sometimes it feels like there's something unspoken between us. I just want you to know I'm open to hearing whatever it is, even if it's hard." You're not pushing—they'll feel that. You're simply making space.

And If They Still Can't Be Honest…

At a certain point, you have to acknowledge this truth: You can't build emotional intimacy with someone who refuses to show up emotionally. If you've created safety, shown patience, led with vulnerability, and they still avoid truth—it may be a sign that their level of emotional availability doesn't align with yours. And that's worth honoring. Not because they're a bad person. But because real connection requires two people willing to show up honestly, even when it's hard.

The Takeaway

When someone isn't being honest with you, it's tempting to take it personally. But often, it has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with what honesty has cost them in the past. Your job isn't to pull the truth out of them. Your job is to create a space where the truth feels welcome. And if they rise to meet you there? That's where real, soul-level connection begins.

Thanks for tuning into this episode, I hope this information was helpful for you! If you’d like to share a unique situation you’re in, I welcome that in the comments! We learn by sharing our stories.

Be sure to tune in every Monday where I’ll be talking about a different problem that is common in relationships and how to go about solving it.

Have a problem you want me to write about? Let me know in the comments or DM me and I may do an episode on it!

Thanks again for reading and have a wonderful week everyone!

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!

Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast

Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.

It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!

Ep 15: "Where Are All The Good Men At?"

“We hear this question all the time—‘Where are all the good men at?’ And the truth is, a lot of men are struggling. We're in the middle of a loneliness epidemic. Men have been taught to suppress emotions, not seek help, and to equate their worth with what they provide. Now they're being asked to be emotionally available, progressive partners, and somehow still be the rock that holds everything down financially—in an economy where a single income barely cuts it.

They're overstimulated by social media, dating apps, porn, and digital overload. They're losing motivation and mojo—not because they’re lazy, but because they’re overwhelmed. So maybe the real question isn’t just ‘where are they?’ but ‘what has happened to them?’

In this episode, we’re digging into how to spot a good man in the chaos—someone who's doing the inner work, who’s showing up, and who can build with you, not just for you.”

Let’s start out with what men are actually facing today.

Most men grow up in families where expressing your feelings not only doesn’t happen, but It’s actually discouraged. Older generations passed this framework down to the younger ones because they thought that expressing emotions openly was a sign of weakness. Boys are taught from a young age that being a real man equates to consistent strength and resilience. Your worth is determined by how well you support your family financially. In a world where it has become increasingly more difficult over the years to support an entire family with just one income, numerous amounts of men are experiencing the bone crushing pressure to meet these financial demands.

On top of that, they are also grappling with:

* The repression of emotions and trauma from childhood

* Fear of being judged or misunderstood if they open up

* The Rise of Escapism— Which includes: gaming, porn, endless scrolling, and numbing out with substances

Safe to say, most men have entered a “shut down” phase not because they’re lazy and don’t care, but because they’re out of emotional bandwidth. Essentially they’ve become too overwhelmed with the expectations of modern day society and don’t know where to turn for correct guidance on how to fix this problem.

I opened up this episode with this information so that we can all have some compassion for what men are going through. Of course that doesn’t mean that when it comes to dating men, you should just settle and accept what’s out there. Even though it has become increasingly more and more difficult to find a good man, they’re still out there if you know how to spot them.

When you’re in the dating world and considering a man for a romantic partnership, here are some key values you want to look out for that will tell you, “this is a truly responsible man I can invest my time and life in”

1. He takes personal responsibility.

He doesn't blame his ex, his parents, or “society” for everything.

He owns his part in things and wants to grow.

2. He’s emotionally curious.

He may not have all the answers, but he’s willing to talk about feelings, ask questions, and be vulnerable—even if it’s uncomfortable.

3. He keeps his word.

You don’t have to guess where you stand with him. He follows through, even on the small stuff.

4. He wants partnership, not a servant.

He sees relationships as a two-way street. He values what you bring beyond looks or status.

5. He’s financially aware—even if not “rich.”

He may not have money pouring out of his pockets, but he’s responsible with money, has goals, and thinks long-term.

6. He respects boundaries and time.

He doesn’t push you, manipulate you, or play games. He listens when you say “no” or need space.

7. He’s not chasing external validation.

He’s not obsessed with clout, flex culture, or how many women he can attract. He’s centered.

8. He talks about the future with inclusion.

He says “we,” not just “I.” He considers your dreams, not just his.

9. He surrounds himself with good men.

His circle matters. Look at the company he keeps—are they growing, committed, grounded?

10. He’s not afraid to be seen.

He’s not hiding behind a facade. He’s present, and willing to be witnessed—even if imperfect.

So now that you have some core values to look out for, what are some questions that you can ask men to “test” them to see if they really have what it takes to enter a supportive relationship with you?

* “How do you handle stress when you feel overwhelmed?”

* “What does emotional safety look like to you?”

* “What did your last relationship teach you?”

* “How do you want to feel in a relationship—not just what do you want?”

* “How do you handle it when something doesn’t go as planned?”

* “How do you stay disciplined to meet goals and expectations?”

Remember, there’s a transcript included below with each podcast episode and I highly recommend using it to save some of these questions and values so you don’t forget about them. You can also bookmark this post.

It’s also important to remember that:

“Even when you meet a man who aligns with your values, who shows up consistently, and makes you feel emotionally safe—it doesn’t mean he’s always going to have it together.”

Real relationships aren’t about finding someone perfect—they’re about building safety, trust, and resilience together.

Ways to Support a Man Through Tough Times:

* Create emotional safety.

Instead of pushing him to “open up,” try:“I’m here if you want to talk. No pressure—I just want you to know you’re not alone.”

* Support without fixing.

Men are often conditioned to feel like failures when they’re not in control.“I trust you to figure this out. And I’ve got your back while you do.”

* Respect his process.

Sometimes he needs space before he can speak. Don’t interpret quiet as rejection—ask:“Would it help to talk it through, or do you need time to think it out first?”

* Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.

Acknowledge growth, vulnerability, and the trying.“I saw how hard you worked to show up today. That means something to me.”

* Be a calming presence.

Your energy matters. Sometimes support looks like cooking a meal, rubbing his shoulders, or just sitting together in silence.

Thanks for tuning into this episode, I hope this information was helpful for you! If you’d like to share a unique situation you’re in, I welcome that in the comments! We learn by sharing our stories.

Be sure to tune in every Monday where I’ll be talking about a different problem that is common in relationships and how to go about solving it.

Have a problem you want me to write about? Let me know in the comments or DM me and I may do an episode on it!

Thanks again for reading and have a wonderful week everyone!

THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.

I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!

A happy week to you all!

Not subscribed? Subscribe now to get this podcast and many more self-growth info delivered right to your inbox!

If you enjoy these episodes, please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee below! I do this pretty much full time and your support means the world!