Relaxing with Rob

Mindfully facing our fears and flaws allows us to take action, rather than defend ourselves against them. From Rumi through Coldplay, this concept seems to endure.

Taking that first step toward your goal is great, but it's crucial to continue--in spite of anxiety.

We might want a shortcut to success, but there is tremendous value in working through problems.

Although music can help you relax, it can do so much more. Experiment to find what works best, but here's a sample of what I like:

"Symphony No. 9 in D Minor," Beethoven
"Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen
"Still Young," The Cat Empire
"Three Little Words," Branford Marsalis
"Free It Up," Destra (feat. Sean Paul)
"Waiting on the Stage," Machel Montano (feat. Badjohn Republic)
"Like a Surgeon," Weird Al Yankovic
"Keeping Your Head Up," Birdy 
"Glow," Nelly Furtado [opening words before the song]
"Emergence," R. Carlos Nakai
"Thunderstruck," AC/DC 
"Clarinet Quintet in A Major, K. 581," Mozart
"Party All The Time," The Black Eyed Peas

A slight change to an affirmation could strengthen its power.

Here's the Michael Jordan interview (1991) on Saturday Night Live.

Examples of how you might structure an affirmation:

Up until now, I’ve been expecting perfection; now I’m striving for excellence.

Up until now, I’ve been scared of down-time; now I’m making it count.

Up until now, I’ve been afraid of public speaking; now I’m growing in confidence.

Up until now, I’ve been eating mindlessly; now I’m savoring food.

Up until now, I’ve been fighting change; now I’m learning from it.

Time stress is common, but it can be reduced more easily than you think. 

• Savor what you do have right now instead of wishing you had it all.
• Focus on priorities--your core values--instead of greater efficiency.
• Simplify--both in terms of possessions and people.
• For fast acting relief from stress, try slowing down. —Lily Tomlin
• Decline unreasonable requests.

It may require more than a kitten poster for you to "Hang in There!" Tolerating some anxiety to achieve your goals is well worth the effort. To learn from an expert, go to this non-affiliate link about  Jennifer Pharr Davis.

Having so many choices in our privileged lives can create anxiety. Although this is a totally first world problem, it's still real. I'll suggest a way to help navigate through.

And the Barry Schwartz (2004) book I reference is The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: HarperCollins.

You may improve focus through a simple habit (e.g., "stop / breathe / reflect / choose").  It then becomes easier to make bigger changes. 

In order to reduce stress by gaining control, try one of these ideas:

1. Increase your emotional flexibility. (It's a paradox, but it works)
2. View your current circumstances in a new way. (This can empower you)
3. Give away control. (Others will appreciate it, and you'll benefit)

Regardless of your genetic set point, you can control up to 40% of your happiness.

Based on Sonja Lyubomirsky's research reported in her best seller, The How of Happiness (2008), I share how to do this through gratitude and acts of kindness. For more information on Dr. Lyubomirsky, go to:  http://thehowofhappiness.com/