Everywhere we turn, we can find something negative, whether on the news, online, the people around us, and sometimes, within. This episode focuses on how to deal with negative people and negative self-talk. We hope these simple tips will get you quickly on your way to make yourself immune to the negative contagion. We welcome you to our podcast living room. Pull up a seat. Grab your favorite cup of something hot and let's jump to it.
Emotional contagion is real. Knowing that someone else’s negativity can affect you and breed negativity in you is helpful.
Learn to recognise when this is happening (you feel frustrated, angry or drained of energy) and then try some of these techniques:
Remind yourself that you alone have control over your positive mindset and you alone can control how much of their negativity you wish to absorb.
Touch base with the person more frequently but in shorter intervals. Frequent, shorter interactions are much easier to manage than infrequent long conversations that can really go down the rabbit hole of depression and negativity.
Make a conscious effort to control your breath and clear your mind of any negative feelings you may have about their neediness and depression before the interaction even starts. Try and see the good in the person.
Match your breathing to theirs, which is likely rapid. Once you’ve achieved this, slow your own breathing. This will help the other person’s breathing slow down. (natural human mimicry)
Go into the conversations when your energy levels are high enough that they can be drained a bit without harming your own mental stability.
Approach them with a compassionate, empathic heart and mind. What causes them to be this way? But please remember: Compassion does not equal advice about changing their negative behaviour or lecturing them about their negativity.
Remember this, too: you are not helping yourself or them if you feed into their pain.
Offer a compassionate ear for as long as you can and then try to change the subject to something totally unrelated.
Remind them of things that make them happy before they can throw their negative energy your way. You are more apt to want to boost them up if you haven’t allowed them to bring you down.
Use humour to lighten the mood and distract from the negative energy.
Smile, because emotional contagion can be positive and happy, too.
End the interaction gently as soon as you start feeling your own positive energy draining. Lovingly disconnect and remember you can’t help them at all if you don’t maintain your own positive mindset.If you feel a lot of negativity in your workplace, try some of the techniques we’ve discussed but also surround yourself with things that bring you joy: photos of your family and friends can help, or momentos. Make your work space a happy place to escape.
If your friend is always doing the Debbie Downer Dance, remember some of the techniques discussed above but also, ask yourself what you are getting out of the relationship. - Do they fulfil a need in you to be a caretaker? - Does it boost your ego by allowing you to feel like you are better than them? These can be hard questions to answer, but answering them honestly will help you decide if you need to perhaps part ways. You need to decide if allowing the constant negativity is worth the friendship or not. Look for positive reasons to remain in the friendship or take a break from the negative contagion associated with the friendship.
If you spend a lot of your spare time doom scrolling or glued to the 24 hour news feed take a break from the constant barrage of bad news. Limit your time spent in these activities. Replace those activities with self care acts that boost your positivity.
