Quick Summary
What if the struggle in your spiritual life isn't a sign of failure, but proof that your relationship with God matters deeply? In this intimate conversation, spiritual director Mary Glowaski reveals how spiritual direction creates sacred space for encountering God's love in unexpected ways, especially in our deepest struggles and shame.
Mary shares her unexpected call to spiritual direction, the profound difference between counseling and spiritual companionship, and why being harsh with ourselves blocks us from experiencing God's unconditional love. If you've ever wondered what spiritual direction actually is, how to find a director, or whether it's right for you, this episode offers compassionate wisdom from someone who has walked with countless souls through their most sacred stories.
Discover why spiritual direction isn't about getting answers; it's about learning to see yourself and others through God's eyes of infinite compassion.
In This Bonus Episode, We Explore:
Spiritual direction focuses on your relationship with God, not on finding immediate answers or solutionsThe gentleness in spiritual direction mirrors God's gentle work in our lives—transformation doesn't need to be forcedMany people struggle not with feeling unloved, but with seeing themselves as lovableSpiritual directors are formed professionals who create covenantal (not just confidential) sacred spaceThe ego is sneaky—spiritual direction helps us get out of our own way so God can workSelf-compassion unlocks our ability to show genuine compassion to othersThe struggles we face are often universal human experiences, not signs of unique brokennessAnthropomorphizing God (making God in our image) prevents us from becoming reflections of God's image[00:00] Introduction and welcome
[00:36] Mary's background: From social work to spiritual direction
Family life and career journeyThe unexpected call while driving past University of St. Francis[02:00] What is spiritual direction?
Difference from counseling and therapyResponding to divine invitationSeeing all of life as sacred[05:00] The focus on relationship with God, not human guidance
Trusting God's work in the directee's lifeBeing a conduit rather than an answer-giver[06:00] Common misconceptions about spiritual direction
Ancient practice that was lost and rediscoveredNot just for clergy—relatively new widespread practice (last 60 years)[08:00] Suspending what we think we know
Trusting the directee's experience of GodThe privilege of witnessing sacred stories[09:00] The gentle stance of spiritual direction
Creating peaceful, unhurried spaceCultural addiction to productivity vs. spiritual receptivity[10:43] The struggle with self-love and feeling lovable
How harshness toward ourselves blocks God's loveKnowing whose we are, not just who we are[12:00] Spiritual direction vs. counseling vs. mentoring
How to discern what someone needsStaying faithful to the original relationship[14:00] How spiritual direction changes the director
Being humbled by directees' courageWitnessing God's work in immeasurable waysHolding stories in a covenantal way[16:00] The unique interior access of spiritual direction
Seeing growth that spouses may not even seeThe hidden nature of spiritual transformation[18:00] Humility as foundational for spiritual directors
Praying "get me out of the way"Relief in knowing it's not about you[20:00] Stories of growth and transformation
Learning to stop making God in our imageThe relief of self-compassionJourney toward forgiveness of grievous harm[24:00] What a typical session looks like
Monthly hour-long meetingsInviting the Holy Spirit's presenceNo homework—trusting God's work between sessions[27:00] Meeting with other spiritual directors
Peer supervision and ethical discussionsImportance of receiving spiritual direction yourself[29:00] How to find a spiritual director
Spiritual Directors International directoryLocal ecumenical directories formingChallenges in finding the right fit[31:45] Does a spiritual director need to be clergy?
Importance of proper formation over ordained statusWarning about untrained "spiritual directors"[33:45] What Mary wishes people knew
How deeply loved they are by GodFreedom from fear of God's judgmentInvitation to be kinder to themselves[35:00] Practices that support spiritual direction
Correlation with Mass attendance and prayerLiving an integrated life vs. compartmentalized "spiritual life"[36:45] The connective tissue: Awareness of mystery
Staying rooted when life is overwhelmingRelieved of the burden to judge everything[38:00] Being present vs. letting ego take over
When to speak up for justiceWrestling with God like Jacob[40:00] Christ's easy yoke vs. spiritual struggle
Struggle shows the relationship is valuedKeeping hearts open despite challenges[42:00] Universal human struggles
Our stories are the same as Scripture's storiesSharing in goodness, not just shame[44:00] True empathy: "I could be there"
Recognizing our capability for the same mistakesFreedom from judgment[45:00] Self-compassion and taking responsibility
Practicing compassion on others firstNot projecting our inner state onto others[47:00] Looking for witnesses
Finding people who embody what we needMary's experience watching communion after her husband's deathChoosing what and who we look toAbout Mary Glowaski
Mary Glowaski is a spiritual director, pastoral counselor, and former social worker who spent 20 years working in victim assistance, pastoral care, mediation, and crisis intervention for the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend. After receiving her master's in pastoral theology and completing three years of Ignatian formation, Mary has dedicated her life to creating sacred space where people can encounter God's love and gentleness. A mother of two sons, mother-in-law to two daughters-in-law, and grandmother to three, Mary brings deep wisdom, humility, and compassion to her ministry of spiritual companionship.
Resources Mentioned
Spiritual Directors International - Directory to find spiritual directorsIgnatian spirituality - Formation tradition rooted in St. Ignatius of LoyolaNorthern Indiana Spiritual Directors - New ecumenical directory formingCentering prayer - Contemplative prayer practice discussed in sessionsMemorable Quotes
"Spiritual direction is really about looking at the whole... These moments in someone's lives, even the things that we struggle with, there's sacredness there."
"Too often, I find people that it's not that they don't feel loved, they don't see themselves as lovable."
"Before someone comes to me, I pray, get me out of the way. Really, who cares what I think? It doesn't matter."
"We spend so much time anthropomorphizing God, making God into us instead of making me an image, a reflection of God's image."
"When a relationship with God is a struggle, I say thank you, because that says to me that it's of value."
"Given the right circumstances, I'm certainly capable of doing the same thing. And so that just really relieves me of like, I don't need to judge it because I could be there."
"We can take a deep breath and begin again."
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Religion to Reality is an initiative of DeSales Media, dedicated to helping people bridge the gap between religious practice and lived spiritual reality.