It's the little things that hit hardest. The big moments when I expect to be emotional have generally felt unremarkable; I seem to have experienced them with relative ease. The surprises come when I'm taking a walk, talking about a silly childhood memory, or seeing an old friend. Above all, I've learned that my emotions are often hidden - from myself as well as from others - and then I think that I'm done having feelings. But I repeatedly learn that they lie barely below the surface, ready to emerge when I least expect them.

This is not typical episode. Today I'm going to talk about my dad, and what life has been like since he died of pancreatic cancer three and a half weeks ago.

I hope that it's meaningful for you, just as it was for me.

Check out the Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/. To read Scott's reflections on his father's life, click here.

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