Resilient Dad Show

BE A MAN IN LOVE, NOT IN FEAR

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we speak with Emma Swain, a certified holistic life coach, mind-body practitioner, and specialist in energy psychology. Emma teaches how to embrace vulnerability to get out of the victim mindset and become a visionary. 

She shares her ongoing journey of healing and how she rediscovered how to get unstuck from the confines of her own mind. Emma provides insights on allowing men to love those parts of themselves that they fear and harnessing both masculine and feminine energies to create upward momentum. 

Emma also breaks down the components of masculine energy: the warrior, the fixer, and the presence, the last of which is reflected back by feminine energy. In her experience, it is only through an ego death that men truly meet God for the first time.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Get unstuck from your mental layer - Emma: "Humans have 5 key layers that come out of our bodies. And what I learned was first is the physical layer, then you have your emotional layer, then your mental layer, and above that is your intuition and your bliss. Now the majority of human beings today have got very stuck in their mental layer, and the mental layer is the interface between our emotions and our body, and our intuition, and our bliss."

Stereotypical masculinity is born from fear - Emma: "The divine masculine, a man in his full power, is a man who can be in his strength and in his cock and in his full energy but from a place of love, not from a place of fear. Many men are in the world putting out this aura of I'm super strong because they're super scared. They're scared of not being enough, they're scared of not pleasing their woman, they're scared of not being seen by their friends, they're scared of not living up to the conditioned belief of society so they're projecting outward and they're disconnected inward."

Create a spiral with linear masculine energy and cyclical feminine energy - Emma: "When we start to merge our inner energetics and see that we have both, and they're equal in all of us, what we do is we create a spiral where our patterns and our emotions meet our intention and our direction. And then we begin to build momentum, energetically, for ourselves. And you'll find very oftentimes when people 'awaken,' they get big momentum."

Connect with Emma:

Facebook | Instagram | Website | Email

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

DESIRE DRIVES BOYS, DUTY DRIVES MEN.

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we speak with Simon Smart, a men's coach with a background in business, martial arts, and military combatives. He recalls growing up in Asia and his first exposure to rites of passage and growing into a man.

Simon digs into a man's stages of growth, from being a baby to a boy and, finally, to a man. He talks about how a boy will grow in power, like in mobility and in strength, but also in duty and responsibility. For Simon, mature masculinity takes pride in duty, while juvenile masculinity is focused on desires.

A man must be able to look at himself in the mirror and ask "am I a man worth following?" To guide this question, Simon shares his 4 V's: Vision, Vitality, Veritas (truth), and Virtus (courage). He also talks about fighting, defending the people you love, and gaining confidence through combat sports.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

A guide is needed to teach a boy how to be a man - Simon: "There has to be a guide or a mentor. And in a lot of traditions, there's more than just the day or the night or the week of the rite of passage. There's training that comes before. A lot of the training for boys is around what is a man in our culture?"

A man's vision for himself keeps him grounded - Simon: "When they have no grounding, I think this is an important point to make when you have a vision, quest, and thus a vision of yourself, you spend a lot of your time building yourself into that vision. When you don't have a vision, you spend your time building yourself into everyone else's vision of you. In other words, you worry a lot more about others' vision of who you are than your own, and that's when men drift into being people pleasers."

Duty for others is what sets apart mature and juvenile masculinity - Simon: "What we can maybe make is a simple distinction between mature masculinity and juvenile masculinity is that distinction between living for others and living for your duties versus living for your attachments and your desires and whatever you want. I think that mature masculinity is what eventually ties into what I would call manhood. Juvenile masculinity may have a lot of masculine elements, but it doesn't access manhood in the way that mature masculinity does." 

Connect with Simon:

LinkedIn

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

EMBRACING THE SUCK DOESN'T WORK OUT.

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we welcome Matt Grace, a former Navy rescue swimmer, professional firefighter, author of Reclaim Your Hero, and father to 2 beautiful girls. He shares the trauma that began in his childhood and how he experienced substance abuse, neglect, and at times physical abuse.

Matt discusses his later realization that his parents didn't have the tools to deal with their emotions growing up and how this led to him taking it upon himself to change that for their own children. And lacking a father figure growing up, Matt also shares how the land of Maui provided for him, and eventually, the military taught him a solid foundation for life.

However, Matt also talks about his struggle with PTSD after his deployment to Afghanistan and how this almost became the end for him and his daughter. Through God and his love for his daughter, he decided right then and there to be the father that he never had. 

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Almost taking his daughter’s life was the wake-up call Matt needed - Matt: "I just embraced the suck the whole time until I had my youngest daughter and I nearly killed her. Yep, that's really hard to accept that you nearly killed your child, my five-month-old daughter, because she was crying and I couldn't take it. I didn't know what to do and that, for me, was the change. I said, God, no, no, no. Not today. My daughter's going to have the dad that I never had. And that was the catalyst for me."

You need to be vulnerable to be brave - Matt: "You can't be brave without being vulnerable. Think about it. Everybody knows the Medal of Honor winners in the US. Each one of them put themselves up and risked taking live fire. Many of them got shot and killed and were awarded posthumously, but each one of them put themselves out there and said, here I am. Here I am for my brother, here I am for my sister. They made themselves absolutely vulnerable but we award them for their what? Their bravery."

Connect with Matt and get your copy of Reclaim Your Hero:

LinkedIn | Website | Amazon

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

LIVE IN THE MOMENT TO GAIN CLARITY OF VISION.

Welcome to the last episode of The Resilient Dad Show for the year 2022. Today, Pat looks back on his “why” for doing this show and the value of experiencing the moment to find the answers that you are looking for. Moving forward to 2023 and beyond, Pat challenges you to look at what it is that you really want in this life and gain clarity of your vision for the future.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Find the answers that are right in front of you - Pat: "Have you ever had that experience where you'd be looking for something and you're going around the house looking every possible place that you could think that you left that item and then after going around for an hour, you go back to the same spot that you've checked 10 times and it's actually there? Same thing. If we allow ourselves to be in the moment and just stay still, the answer's there."

Look within and get a clearer vision of the outcomes you want to achieve - Pat: "It's within ourselves to have that control of our thoughts, our words, our actions, and we can actually live that life that we actually want, a fulfilled life. So I invite you to have a look at, have those goals, and have a clear vision. It's what will that outcome actually give me? Why is it so important for me to achieve it?"

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

PLAYING THE VICTIM IS EASY. EMPOWER YOURSELF BY CHOOSING THE LIFE THAT YOU WANT TO LIVE. 

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we welcome Robert White, a speaker, author of Living an Extraordinary Life, and executive mentor who is recognized as an expert on mastering executive challenges. Robert shares his abusive childhood which pushed him to prove that he was better than his upbringing.

However, even with fantastic success, he suffered several heart attacks and was predicted that he would not live beyond the age of 35. Robert also opens up about a nasty divorce took its toll but he made a conscious decision to take control of his life and reject being a victim. 

By deciding to take personal responsibility for his life and health, he made a complete turnaround. He shares how taking a Tony Robbins class changed his life and opened up his mind to success, even though not a single mention of money and career was said.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Robert: Celebrate your life's wins despite your rough beginnings 

"I grew up in poverty. I grew up in a highly abusive home. It was kind of a tough beginning and a big part of it which shows up actually in my book Living an Extraordinary Life was constant criticism and negativity. So on top of the physical abuse was the emotional, mental abuse. You might even say spiritual abuse. And so, one of the things about taking responsibility is one part of is you've got to own your successes. You really need to celebrate what you do well, and also you own the things that didn't work and that you had a part to play in it even if it's mysterious, even if you can't identify how you contributed to it."

Robert: A painful divorce and false accusations almost made him a victim 

"Being a victim is disempowering. It takes your power away because you're externalizing the most important part of you which is your power to choose, and you're saying that somebody else is choosing my experience of life, and I'm allowing it."

Connect with Robert, read his Extraordinary Minute, and get his book:

LinkedIn | Website | Amazon | Email

Watch Brené Brown’s TEDx Talk on the Power of Vulnerability.

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

YOU CAN LET YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES DICTATE YOUR LIFE, OR YOU CAN OVERCOME THEM—THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we welcome Ashley Cooke, an accomplished business manager and entrepreneur with roots as a competitive swimmer. While he achieved amazing success in his career, he found his relationship with his family deteriorating. 

He gets vulnerable and talks about his struggle with alcohol and how it nearly destroyed him. However, by channeling his energies into exercise, he was able to bounce back stronger than ever. Ashley also shares the difficulties of growing up without his biological father and the value of expressing your emotions through meaningful conversations.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Ashley: Alcohol as a way to cope was destroying his life

"We make a choice. So either that way, or we go that way. And at that day, my two choices were do I continue down this path of self-destruction where it was leading me to an early grave... actually that point in time it was do I jump off this hill that I'm standing on top of or do I choose to change my life... and understand that there's more to me than this."

Ashley: Dealing with depression required the help of others

"I found a way to either express it, deal with it, or process it. That was my 3 steps. So if I could talk about it, whether it be to my partner, whether it be to my mates, whether it was a stranger to a point."

Ashley: Masculinity has changed from toxicity to being present for others

"My grandfather's generation, masculinity was being a man, being the provider, the wife doesn't work, they should raise the kids, I'm the provider, I do the tough stuff. I don't cry. I don't show emotions. That's not masculinity anymore. Masculinity is being a bloody good day raising bloody good humans so that when we go, our kids know what makes a good person."

Connect with Ashley:

LinkedIn

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

SOME KIDS HAVE MORE NEEDS THAN OTHERS, BUT ALL OF THEM ARE THE SAME, A CHILD WHO NEEDS A PARENT

Welcome to another inspiring and educational episode of The Resilient Dad Show. Today we welcome Carolina Behr, an expert in parenting education and caring for children with special needs. Carolina will be discussing her story and tips for parents out there to help their children feel empowered, strong, and independent. 

RESILIENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• Introducing Carolina Behr
• Working with children with special needs
• Helping your child feel empowered
• Keeping your cool when you lose your patience
• Children become more self-aware of their needs
• Things to do to support our kids from a young age
• Preparing the entire house for the child
• It’s easier for the child to adjust to the parents than to the child
• The importance of finding common ground between both parents

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

CAROLINA: Helping your child feel empowered

“When we don't make a choice and someone else makes the choice for us, it's actually really hard, and you just love them. Because for them, it's actually really serious, and it's really hard, and guess what happens? The next time you give them a choice, they take the choice because now they know that you're not the enemy, you're not going to force it on them, that you're going to love them through it, whether you are honestly giving them a choice. And if they choose not to take it, you will make a choice for them. But it's going to be out of love and not out of power…”

CAROLINA: Every day is an opportunity for your child to be independent

“Always think, Where can I add more freedom in more for me, and more independence for this child and you start seeing it, you're gonna start seeing it everywhere. Because there are opportunities throughout your day, that will allow the child to become more independent, and that will give you more time.”

Connect with Carolina:

Carolina Behr | Instagram | Carolina Behr Education

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

In this episode of The Resilient Dad Show, Pat is joined by Corey Gaidzionis, the founder of the Big Emotions Academy and creator of The Little Book of Big Emotions. Corey shares why he wrote the Little Book of Big Emotions and his experiences in helping parents and their children process their emotions more healthily.

RESILIENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• On the Little Book of Big Emotions
• Corey's journey of healing through helping others
• We should communicate whatever it is that we need to express
• An anecdote of when love became conditional for a child
• What the education system can do to support kids emotionally

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Corey: Parents should also know how to process their emotions

“When I'm telling my son off, that's not actually about my son it's actually about me and that's a really powerful insight. With insight, we can actually change. But I think we have a lack of awareness as parents ”

Corey: There are tools and practices for family systems to improve  emotions

“And maybe another version will show up or he'll show up again and you just have to keep practicing that. It's just like this higher-level mind game that you can actually play with yourself. And I don't do it when I'm in the moment but it's afterward I go back and have a conversation on all these layers of myself."

Connect with Corey:

Corey Gaidzionis | Big Emotions Academy | Little Book of Big Emotions

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode and were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

Two of the best values we can ever teach our kids are AUTHENTICITY and HONESTY. In this episode of The Resilient Dad show, Pat welcomes Casey Jacox, a Keynote Speaker, Sales & Executive Leadership Coach, and Author. Casey will be sharing his life story where he learned the value of honesty and authenticity.

RESILIENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• Casey’s childhood and learnings from his parents.
• Be honest, set expectations, and own your mistakes.
• Making the choice to make time.
• The power of the golden rule.
• The Power of Authenticity.

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

Casey: Make the choice to make time

“Time is priceless. We all get 1440 minutes, no one gets more, no one gets less, and so I always find it funny when people say, ‘Man, I don't have time.’ I'm like ‘BS. Stop lying to yourself.’ Give all the time and really you just tell yourself you're not making the choice to make time.”

Casey: The power of authenticity

“It's the power of authenticity. I always tell my kids the number one reason to be yourself. Everybody's already taken. Yeah, so just be you.”

Connect with Casey:

Casey Jacox | Winning The Relationship, LLC

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode or were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!

IT’S HARD TO GET HELP THESE DAYS

Today, Pat welcomes Paul Withall, the founder of Zero Suicide, to talk about the common cause of men’s suicide and the difficulties men face in getting help in their dire situations. Tune in and learn more as Paul gives us eye-opening insights on this situation, only here in the latest episode of The Resilient Dad Show.

RESILIENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• Introducing Paul Withall
• How he started with Zero Suicide
• Suicide is not just related to mental health
• The most common ways men deal with challenges
• What services are available for men
• What happens when kids are segregated at school
• Mental health is one thing, but there’s also mental first aid
• The importance of having a minister for men
• The significance of the number 2,500 shoes

WORDS OF RESILIENCE

PAUL: Common cause of men’s suicide

“Most of the men suicides all got some sort of link to having a child or relationship breakdown, almost all whether it's caused from mental health or not, you know, there's got to be a proper service in place.”

PAUL: The seed of kids’ mental health problems

“These kids then react at school, so when they're acting out at school, they might, stack differently, and because they're acting differently at school, in turn, they get singled out, the other kids don't want to hang around with them, because they've got problems, and this sort of stuff, which then and that's what's planted the seed to the mental health problems.”

PAUL: Why do we need a minister for men

“For 40 years, men and boys suicide have been 70% of all suicides. So the approach that they're using is not working, and it has failed. So that's why this minister for men needs to come in research the reasons why take into account all this stuff and start trialing different programs, different approaches, and listening not just to the major services, actually listening to men, listening to the women that have lost men, you know, If that's how we make a difference, finding out those underlying issues and asking these people what they think, would have made a difference.”

Learn more about Paul in the links below:

https://www.facebook.com/paulosuorousrexassouras.fish

https://www.facebook.com/ZeroSuicide-Community-Awareness-Program-And-Walks-To-Prevent-Mens-Suicide-100110065093817/

Connect with Pat:

Pat Di Domenico | About Resilient Dad

If you liked this episode or were inspired by the journeys it shares, or you have suggestions or your own stories to share, subscribe to the Resilient Dad podcast now and leave us a comment!