Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

"You made this place look like somewhere worth being."

Can I ask you something personal?

When did you first feel like you truly belonged somewhere?

Not tolerated. Not managed. Not just allowed to exist in the room. But wanted. Expected. Like the space would feel different if you weren’t there.

For some of you, that feeling came early — a family dinner table, a school team, a bedroom that felt like the whole world.

But for many, it didn’t.

And when it did arrive, it often came from somewhere unexpected.

Not a system. Not a programme.

A person.

One adult who decided — without being asked, without it being written into a job description, without any guarantee it would work — that this child was worth showing up for.

This episode is about those people.

The youth workers. The support workers. The ones sitting in community centres, church halls, and temporary spaces — who quietly change the direction of young lives.

WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT

Kezia is thirteen.

She has been to four schools in five years. She eats lunch in the library. She draws entire cities in the margins of her notebooks — detailed worlds she has been building quietly for two years — and she has never shown anyone.

Then one Thursday afternoon, she ends up at a youth centre she doesn’t want to be in.

A youth worker called Marcus asks her one question about her drawing.

A question no one has ever asked before.

This is the story of what happens next.

And why one consistent, caring adult — in an underfunded room with a broken table tennis table — can change the trajectory of a child’s life.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they didn’t quite fit anywhere.

And for every youth worker, support worker, and community professional who shows up anyway — week after week — even when no one seems to be watching.

KEY IDEAS

Belonging uncertainty

For children who’ve experienced instability or rejection, there’s often a quiet question running in the background: “Do I belong here?”

That question takes up space, making it harder to connect and engage.

Even small moments of genuine recognition can begin to settle that uncertainty.

Fitting in vs belonging

Fitting in is becoming who you think you need to be to be accepted.

Belonging is being accepted as you are.

The power of one stable adult

For children experiencing instability, the most protective factor isn’t a programme — it’s one consistent adult who shows up.

The youth work gap

Youth services have been reduced, yet their impact remains profound.

When young people lose access, they don’t just lose activities — they lose relationships, safety, and belonging.

FIVE WAYS TO CREATE BELONGING

Start with their interests, not their history

Reward presence, not disclosure

Be consistent

Let them contribute

Say it out loud: “This place is better when you’re here.”

LISTENERS LOUNGE

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A NOTE ON THE STORY

Kezia and Marcus are composite characters, built from real experiences and stories shared by young people and youth workers.

If you see yourself in Kezia, that’s intentional.

You were never too much.

You just needed someone to notice your city.

What This Episode Is About

Have you ever had a teacher who truly saw you — not your grades, not your reputation, not your behaviour record, but you?

In this episode, we tell the story of Jamie — a child labelled, managed, and quietly written off — and the teacher who refused to go along with the script. Ms. Okafor didn't have a magic wand. She had something more powerful: curiosity, consistency, and the decision to make deposits when everyone else had been withdrawing.

Along the way, we dig into the real science behind why one relationship can change the entire trajectory of a child's life — and we give you five practical tools to start building that kind of connection today.

Whether you're a teacher, a parent, a youth worker, or someone who was once a Jamie yourself — this one's for you.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Remember That Teacher
01:09 Meet Jamie
03:09 Mrs Smith Sees Him
04:34 Why Mattering Works
08:14 Make Emotional Deposits
10:34 A Turning Point Plan
12:47 Labels And Expectations
14:37 Message To Teachers
16:30 Closing And Book Waitlist

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• If you want to get on the waitlist for the Teachers guide book then please email - [email protected]

This season, we’re exploring one powerful question:

In this heartfelt episode, Ashley sits down with Sarah Hughes, co-organiser of Womanifest, mum of four, and business owner, to explore the impact of one person who changed everything for her.

From self-doubt and feeling stuck… to building a business, stepping into leadership, and helping run a transformational festival for women and teen girls—Sarah shares the story of how one person’s belief helped her begin to believe in herself.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that it’s not always the big moments that shape us…
it’s the people who see us, support us, and stay.

• The one person who made a life-changing difference for Sarah
• How belief from others can unlock confidence within us
• The impact of having someone who doesn’t let you give up on yourself
• Overcoming self-doubt, fear, and feeling “not good enough”
• The ripple effect of growth—how it influences the next generation
• Why you might already be that person for someone else

It doesn’t take perfection or having all the answers to change someone’s life.

Sometimes it’s simply:

• Showing up
• Listening
• Holding space
• Believing in someone… before they believe in themselves

Sara is a mum of four, business owner, and co-organiser of Womanifest—a powerful festival designed to inspire, educate, and empower women and teen girls.

She also runs the Teen Tent at Womanifest, creating a safe, inspiring space where young people can explore confidence, identity, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Ashley and The Resilient Kid team will be hosting the Teen Tent at Womanifest—a space dedicated to supporting teen girls with:

• Confidence-building
• Understanding emotions
• Healthy relationships
• Anxiety support
• Creative workshops and connection

Come and experience it for yourself
Meet the team
See the impact up close

As you listen, you might find yourself thinking about your person…

Or maybe realising something even more powerful:

And that’s where change begins.

One moment.
One conversation.
One person.

00:00 One Person Who Changed You
00:36 Meet Sarah Hughes
01:14 What One Manifest Is
04:19 Teen Tent Highlights
07:05 Who Made The Difference
07:56 How Sarah Met Lisa
10:57 First One Manifest Experience
12:18 Rock Bottom To Breakthrough
16:23 Launching The Crystal Business
18:23 Taking Over The Teen Area
20:43 Belief That Builds Resilience
25:27 Passing Confidence To Caden
30:10 Thank You Lisa
30:49 Final Reflection And Invitation

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This month on The Resilient Kid Podcast, we’re exploring a powerful theme: one person who made a difference in your life.

In this episode, Ashley is joined by friend of the show, Sarah Vogel, for a thoughtful and heartfelt conversation about the person who changed the direction of Sarah’s life — a colleague and dear friend, Dr Elaine Swan.

What started as one simple comment in a London department store in the late 1980s became the first domino in a chain of events that shaped Sarah’s future. From seeing herself differently, to going to university as a mature student, to building a life and career that has impacted so many others, Sarah reflects on the incredible ripple effect of being truly seen by someone.

In this episode, we cover:

• The person who made a lasting difference in Sarah’s life
• How one comment planted the seed for university and a completely different future
• Why being seen by another person can change how we see ourselves
• The ripple effect of confidence and encouragement
• How Sarah now helps others see strengths they may not yet recognise in themselves
• Why young people need real-life opportunities to build confidence
• The importance of conversations, risk-taking, and resilience in growing up
• How small moments of belief can create lifelong impact

About Sarah Vogel

Sarah Vogel is a coach, facilitator, mediator, and leadership expert who helps people and organisations have better, braver, and more effective conversations. Through her work with PDA, she supports leaders to build confidence, influence, accountability, and stronger relationships at work.

Sarah is also passionate about helping young people develop confidence, communication skills, and resilience early in life — so they can step into the world feeling more grounded, capable, and connected.

A note for parents and professionals

This episode is a reminder that you may never fully know the impact you are having on a child or young person.

A conversation.
A vote of confidence.
A moment of encouragement.
A belief they borrow before they can find their own.

It all matters.

And often, the things that feel small to us are the very things they remember for years to come.

Connect and share

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who has made a difference in your life — or with someone who may need the reminder that their presence matters more than they know.

And as you listen, maybe ask yourself:

Who was that one person for you?
And perhaps even more importantly…
Who might you be that person for now?

Teen Event Mention

Teen tickets are now on sale for Womanifest, where Ashley and Sarah will be hosting dedicated teen sessions focused on confidence, body positivity, resilience, relationships, and emotional wellbeing. - https://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Crewe/Delamere-Events-Ltd/Womanifest-2026/41123458/

It will be a space for teens to feel supported, inspired, and equipped with tools they can take into everyday life.

We are building a community of people who want to be that person for more children, in more places. So if something in this episode has resonated with you, and you have ever felt that pull to make a difference not only in your own family but in your wider community too, that is exactly why we created our franchise - https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/franchise 

Links

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Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

Mother’s Day can look like breakfast in bed, family roasts, and a full, noisy house…

But for many, it’s also a day that brings mixed emotions — grief, distance, complicated relationships, or quiet reflection.

In this episode, I share a personal story about my mum — not for the everyday things we often associate with motherhood, but for something deeper.

Her courage.

At just 22, she emigrated to South Africa on a one-way ticket, building a life from scratch. But when her marriage broke down, she made a decision that would shape everything that came after…

She came home.

As a single mum.
To a small town.
To judgement.
To starting again.

And it got me thinking…

One person to make a different choice.
One person to choose happiness over what looks easier.
One person to change the direction of a child’s life.

• Why Mother’s Day can feel joyful and heavy
• The unseen courage behind parenting decisions
• How one brave choice can shape generations
• Reflecting on “what if?” — and how different life could have been
• The idea that we can be that one person for our children

This is a gentle, honest episode — whether you’re celebrating, grieving, or somewhere in between.

If Mother’s Day feels hard for you, you’re not alone.

Your experience is valid — whether it’s shaped by loss, distance, or a relationship that isn’t what you hoped it would be.

And if today brings gratitude, love, and connection — hold onto that too.

There’s space for all of it.

If this episode resonated with you and you feel called to support children in building confidence, emotional resilience, and stronger futures…

You can find out more about becoming part of The Resilient Kid community here:

👉 https://www.theresilientkid.co.uk/franchise

Our franchise opportunity is designed for people who want to make a real difference — working with children, families, and schools to create lasting change.

Because it really does only take one person… to change everything.

• Follow along for more parenting insights and support
• Share this episode with someone who might need to hear it today
• Join our community for practical tools and real conversations

00:00 Mothers Day Morning
00:40 Family Feast Reflections
01:36 It Only Takes One
02:02 Leap to South Africa
03:09 Building a New Life
04:54 Coming Home Alone
05:21 Small Town Judgment
07:11 Debt and Starting Over
08:24 Raised by Community
10:58 One Choice Changed Everything
11:29 Quiet Bravery of Moms
12:26 Your One Person Story
13:14 Series Mission and Invitation
14:17 Final Thanks and Call

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In this episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley speaks with an inspiring young leader, Ruby O'Brien and winner of the Womanifest Future Voice Award.

Ruby perfectly represents the heart of this podcast series, Only Takes One Person — because behind her journey is a youth worker who asked two powerful words that changed everything:

“Why not?”

As a young carer growing up in Knowsley, Ruby carried significant responsibility at home and struggled to trust people after a difficult experience in her family. But when a youth worker named Jack encouraged her to step into a youth group and later apply for Youth Parliament, Ruby began to realise something powerful:

Her voice mattered.

Today, Ruby has spent two years representing young people in her role as Youth MP, including speaking in the House of Commons and championing issues that matter to young people, including mental health, education, and community empowerment.

In this conversation, Ruby shares how one person believing in her helped her find the confidence to step forward — and how she now hopes to be that person for other young people.

She also talks about her latest campaign to raise £20,000 for an accessible lift at the Epstein Theatre in Liverpool, after witnessing wheelchair users unable to access the stage at a youth event.

For Ruby, the message is simple:

Accessibility is a right, not an option.

This episode is a powerful reminder that when young people feel heard, supported, and believed in, incredible things can happen.

And sometimes… it only takes one person.

• Ruby’s journey to becoming Knowsley’s Youth MP

• How a youth worker helped her believe in herself

• The experience of growing up as a young carer

• Finding confidence and using your voice

• Ruby’s campaign for accessibility at the Epstein Theatre

• Why young people must be heard in decision-making

“If you’ve got a dream, go for it. If you fail, that’s not failure — it means you tried.”

Who was the person who believed in you?

The teacher, youth worker, coach, parent, or mentor who saw something in you before you saw it yourself.

Because resilience isn’t built alone.

And sometimes… it only takes one person.

00:00 One Person Matters
01:03 Meet Ruby OBrien
02:30 Youth Parliament Mission
04:38 Finding Her Voice
05:38 Jack The Turning Point
08:16 From Fear To Leadership
13:09 Confidence And Purpose
15:37 Accessibility Lift Campaign
20:10 How Adults Can Help
23:50 Whats Next For Ruby
28:31 Gratitude And Closing

https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge

Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/Mfoof6Spxck 

Spotify Link:

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We often hear the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” And while community matters, research consistently shows something powerful: the single greatest protective factor in a child’s life is one stable, supportive adult.

One person who believes in them.
One person who advocates for them.
One person who stays steady when life feels uncertain.

This episode launches a brand-new series on The Resilient Kid Podcast called Only Takes One Person.

Fresh off the stage after winning the Heart of the Community Award, Ashley reflects on the power of advocacy, connection, and the ripple effect one person can have on a life.

In this opening episode, Ashley shares a deeply personal story about her Auntie Vera (Vee) — the woman who stepped in and advocated for her when she was just 21 years old.

After finishing her psychology degree, Ashley had applied for a counselling course, only to be told she was too young to be accepted. While Ashley was travelling in South America, her Auntie Vee received the call from the course professor.

Rather than accepting the decision quietly, Vee stood up for her niece.

She explained the experiences Ashley had already navigated in life — growing up in a multi-generational family, supporting grandparents, and witnessing her father’s mental health struggles — and why those experiences had shaped her desire to help others.

That moment of advocacy changed everything.

Ashley became the youngest person ever accepted onto the course, beginning a journey that has now spanned 30 years of supporting children, families and schools.

But this episode isn’t just about one phone call.

It’s about the profound impact one person can have on a young life.

Whether that person is a parent, teacher, mentor, coach or relative — a single relationship can change a child’s sense of safety, belief, and possibility.

Through The Resilient Kid programme, Ashley and her team hope to be that person for many of the children and families they support.

Because sometimes, the biggest changes begin with the smallest moments of belief.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why one supportive adult is the strongest protective factor for children
• A personal story about advocacy and opportunity
• How belief from others shapes confidence and resilience
• Why the work of supporting children is often about showing up consistently
• The ripple effect one person can create across a lifetime

A reflection for listeners

• Who was the person who believed in you?
• A parent, teacher, coach, mentor, grandparent or friend who saw something in you before you fully saw it yourself?
• We would love to hear your story.
• Because resilience isn’t built in isolation.
  It’s built in connection.
• And sometimes… it only takes one person.

Coming up next

In the next episode of the series, Ashley will be joined by a special guest who will share the story of their one person and the impact that relationship had on their life.

Time Stamps:

00:00 One Person Matters
01:00 Series Kickoff
01:13 Heart of Community Night
02:34 Why This Series Exists
03:29 Auntie V Advocates
06:22 Bread as Currency
08:28 Coaches and Teachers
10:16 Advocacy in Schools
12:36 Parents Need Allies
14:17 Your Person Reflection
15:44 Closing and Call In

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The Power of Dads, Community & Connection
With Rob from Davenham & Macclesfield Dads Club

What does it really mean to be a dad in 2026?

In this powerful and heartfelt episode, I’m joined by Rob, founder of Davenham Dads Club and Macclesfield Dads Club, to talk about modern fatherhood, male mental health, and why community matters more than ever.

This isn’t about criticising schools, families, or men.

It’s about recognising the quiet pressure many fathers carry — and why safe spaces to talk are no longer optional. They’re essential.

Drawing from lived experience, community work, and honest conversation, we explore what resilience really looks like for dads — and why confident, regulated adults raise confident, regulated children.

In this episode, we explore:

• The quiet loneliness many dads carry
• The stigma around men talking about emotions
• Miscarriage and dads being “left behind” in grief
• Why boys need love, time, and strong role models
• The power of roughhousing, play, and presence
• How dads build confidence differently
• Why regulated adults raise regulated children
• How a simple “safe space to talk” is quietly changing lives

Key Takeaway:

Resilience isn’t built in isolation.
It’s built in community.

And sometimes it starts with two hours, once a month.

Who This Episode Is For:

• Dads feeling isolated or overwhelmed
• Partners who want fathers to feel supported
• Parents raising boys who need emotionally healthy male role models
• School leaders thinking about community wellbeing
• Anyone who believes children deserve emotionally regulated adults around them

If This Episode Resonated

Please consider sharing this episode.

Your shares help these conversations reach the dads who may never ask for help — but deeply need it.

🎧 Share this episode with someone who quietly carries more than they show.

Spotify – Listen here

YouTube – Watch here

Time Stamps:

00:00 What does it mean to be a dad in 2026?
00:58 Meet Rob & The Dads Club Story
02:35 The Soup Pitch & Why Humility Matters
04:12 How Dads Club Started
06:20 The Safe Space in the Pub
08:45 Building a Support Network
11:30 Why Dads Stay Silent
14:02 Miscarriage, Grief & Men Being Left Behind
17:10 Rebuilding Community for Men
19:42 WhatsApp Community Wins
22:05 What Dads Bring to Confidence Building
25:30 Roughhousing, Feral Play & Boundaries
28:40 What Boys Need Most From Dads
32:55 What Rob Hopes His Sons Will Say One Day
35:10 Where to Find Dads Club
37:00 Final Reflections

Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:

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Rob’s Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586925473953

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davenham_dads_club/

Email: [email protected]

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Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

As my youngest turns 16 and prepares for his final year of school, I found myself reflecting on a bigger question:

Are we building systems that nurture who young people are becoming — or are we asking them to constantly adapt to pressure?

In this episode, I explore the growing gap between academic performance structures and emotional wellbeing support in education. This isn’t about criticising schools — far from it. Schools are not failing. They are stretched.

Drawing from our CPD work, Resilient Schools training, and research into teen brain development, I unpack:

• Why burnout is showing up younger than ever
• Why behaviour often reflects nervous system overload
• How performance pressure can narrow creativity
• Why belonging is a protective factor for mental health
• And what preventative resilience work really looks like

In this episode, we cover:

• Why February fatigue is real for children and staff
• The neuroscience of teen risk-taking and impulse control
• Emotional containment in classrooms
• The difference between reactive and preventative support
• Why disengagement from education is often a signal, not defiance
• The importance of strengthening emotional scaffolding around academic systems

Practical takeaways:

We don’t need to dismantle the education system.
We need to strengthen the emotional scaffolding around it.

Resilience isn’t a “nice to have.”
It’s foundational.

Key reminder:

You are not burning out because you are weak.

You are burning out because you care deeply inside a system that rarely slows down.

The goal is not to care less.

The goal is to protect yourself while you care.

Who This Episode Is For:

• Parents navigating anxiety or school-related stress
• Teachers carrying emotional load in the classroom
• School leaders thinking about whole-school wellbeing
• Therapists, coaches, and professionals who feel the gap in support
• Anyone who believes young people deserve both achievement and emotional safety

Resources & Support

If this episode resonated with you:

• Share it with a school leader or colleague
• Start a conversation in your setting about preventative resilience
• Or reach out to explore how The Resilient Kid framework could support your community

Because young people don’t just need standards.
They need scaffolding.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Education vs Emotional Wellbeing: The Growing Gap
00:14 A Personal Reflection: Watching My Son Grow Up
01:13 Schools Aren’t Failing—They’re Overstretched
02:14 What Teachers Are Really Doing Now (Beyond Teaching)
04:12 Where’s the Emotional Scaffolding? From Rote Learning to Regulation
05:20 Psychological Safety & the Shock of High School Transition
06:48 Lunch on the Run: The Hidden Stressors Kids ‘Put Up With’
08:05 Reactive vs Preventative: What Teen Brain Science Tells Us
10:38 Creativity, Identity & Why Performance Culture Breaks Kids
12:29 Disengagement & ‘School Refusal’: A Belonging and Safety Issue
14:11 What Needs to Change: Shared Language, Staff Training, Prevention
15:04 A Model That Worked: Preventative Wellbeing in an Abu Dhabi School
16:31 The Resilient Kid Framework: Partnering With Schools to Fill the Gap
17:59 Call to Educators & Helpers: The Gap Is Real—and It’s an Opportunity
19:04 Closing Message: Support Builds Resilience (Not Pressure)
20:07 Thanks for Listening + Get In Touch / Join the Podcast

Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge

https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge

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Teachers and school staff are walking out of buildings every day completely exhausted — not because the day was dramatic, but because it was relentless.

In this episode, Ashley explores the hidden emotional labour inside schools — the constant co-regulation, emotional containment, and nervous system management that rarely gets acknowledged but leaves staff mentally and physically depleted.

If you’re a teacher, TA, SENCO, pastoral lead, or school-based professional who goes home emotionally drained and unable to switch off, this episode explains why — and what you can do about it.

• What emotional labour in schools really means
• Why supporting dysregulated children drains your nervous system
• The difference between busy-tired and emotionally exhausted
• Why compassionate staff are most at risk of burnout
• The difference between empathy and absorbing
• Why burnout isn’t weakness — it’s sustained emotional output

Supporting children with behaviour, trauma, and regulation needs requires calm tone, steady presence, and emotional containment. Staff regulate multiple nervous systems before reaching their own.

Without space to reset, this creates nervous system overload.

This isn’t about resilience. It’s sustained emotional output without protection.

• Separate empathy from absorbing — ask “Is this mine or theirs?”
• Close emotional loops after difficult moments
• Use short nervous system resets between interactions
• Build one low-demand moment into your day
• Name the emotional load instead of suppressing it
• Create a transition ritual before going home

You are not burning out because you are weak.

You are burning out because you care deeply in a system that rarely slows down.

The goal isn’t to care less — it’s to protect yourself while you care.

• Teachers and teaching assistants
• SENCOs and pastoral leads
• School leaders
• School-based professionals working with children

If you’d like support with emotional regulation, nervous system tools, or CPD for your school, explore Ashley’s work at The Resilient Kid, including workshops, training, and the Resilient Kid Programme.

Visit: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

Please consider sharing it with a teacher, TA, or school professional who may need to hear they’re not failing — they’re carrying a lot.

🎧 Share this episode with someone who walks out of school exhausted but still deeply cares.

Spotify –

YouTube –

00:00 Introduction and Apologies
00:16 Understanding Emotional Labour in Schools
02:29 The Impact on School Staff
03:49 Recognising Burnout
08:26 Managing Emotional Labour
13:24 Transition Rituals
17:57 Final Thoughts

https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge

Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk