In this episode, I chatted with Trillia Newbell about how we can respond biblically to hurtful comments in the wake of loss (both inwardly and outwardly). We talked about why well intended comments are often so painful, and talked about responses like assuming the best, walking away, and even offering a strong rebuke to uphold God’s truth and protect the next woman. Trillia shared two personal examples of hurtful comments she received and how she responded and we even walked through how to handle to a few specific common responses to miscarriage. I pray that you would walk away from listening to this episode feeling seen by God and more equipped for your next awkward or painful encounter.

About Trillia Newbell:

Trillia Newbell is the author of several books including A Great Cloud of Witnesses, Sacred Endurance, If God Is For Us, Fear and Faith, and the children’s book, God’s Very Good Idea. When she isn’t writing, she’s encouraging and supporting other writers as an Acquisitions Editor at Moody Publishers. Trillia is married to her best friend, Thern, they reside with their two children near Nashville, TN. You can find her at trillianewbell.com and follow her on twitter at @trillianewbell. 

Questions in this Episode:

Would you start off by just telling us a bit about your own experience with miscarriage?

I’m curious to know, why do you think so many of the responses people offer to women walking through the pain of pregnancy loss land in such a raw place? Why are so many of these attempts to be helpful actually so unhelpful?

How does the truth of the gospel and God’s word bring comfort when we are met with a lack of sensitivity or understanding from others? 

How should the truth of the gospel and God’s word inform the way we respond to hurtful or unhelpful responses from others?

How can we practically prepare for these comments/ interactions in a way that both guards our hearts and helps us not to sin against our neighbors in our anger and pain?

Let’s walk through some common comments and maybe you can help us think through how we might respond.

“I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this.” 

“At least you weren’t very far along.”

“At least you know you can get pregnant.”

“Better it didn’t survive. This is just your body’s way of getting rid of a defective baby.” 

Questions for every guest:

What’s one way God has used your experience of miscarriage to work in your heart and life?

If you could encourage a woman to meditate on or memorize any verse or short set of verses in this season, what would it be and why?

Scripture References:

Romans 8: 31- the end

The Psalms

Hebrews 4:16

Psalm 34:18

Intro/ Outro Music:

My Soul Will Wait (Psalm 62) [feat. Stacy Lantz], Hilton Head Presbyterian Church

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