Restorative Grief with Mandy Capehart

"Grief does not require us to become less independent. It gives us an opportunity to become less alone."

If you grew up a little feral and learned early how to take care of yourself, grief can create an unexpected challenge: learning how to receive care without feeling like you've lost yourself.

In this solo episode, I explore the tension between self-reliance and connection, why grief often changes our relationships, and how restorative grief invites us to build a life that reflects who we are becoming, not who we were before loss.

If you've ever struggled to ask for help, felt uncomfortable receiving support, or wondered how grief is reshaping what matters to you, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Self-reliance, resilience, and their limits
• The difference between independence and isolation
• How grief changes relationships and capacity
• Receiving care without betraying yourself
• Building a life that fits who you are now

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Become a Patron/Get the Workbook
• Connect with Mandy about coaching
• Follow Mandy on Instagram/Threads

"When I began to recognize that one step forward, two steps back was part of the work, it was part of the process."

What if the moments that feel like setbacks aren't signs you're grieving wrong?

In today's conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Jennifer Dall, a grief-informed neurodivergence specialist, educator, ADHD coach, and founder of ADHD Holistically.

Together, we explore the intersection of grief, widowhood, ADHD, identity shifts, and the everyday realities of carrying loss while still trying to function. We talk about grief brain, changing capacity, masking, self-compassion, and why so many people mistake overwhelm for personal failure.

If you've ever wondered why simple tasks feel harder after loss, this conversation will help you feel a little less alone.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Grief brain and everyday overwhelm
• The overlap between grief and neurodivergence
• Widowhood and identity shifts
• Masking and feeling unseen
• The hidden labor that comes with loss
• Changing capacity and self-compassion
• Why setbacks are part of the process
• What restoration can look like after loss

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Dr. Jennifer Dall, ADHD Holistically
• Curveball Press & Space to Grieve
• Follow Mandy⁠ on Instagram

• ⁠Become a Patron!

“We accidentally communicate that their feelings are something to be argued with instead of something to be witnessed.”

What do you do when someone you love says something that makes you wonder if they might be suicidal?

Most of us were never taught how to have this conversation. We’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or asking too directly.

In this episode, we talk about how to stay present, why asking directly about suicide matters, how to listen without trying to fix, and what a safety plan can offer when things feel overwhelming.

You don’t need perfect words. You need a willingness to stay.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How to ask directly about suicide
• What to say when someone is struggling
• Why connection matters more than fixing
• Safety planning and creating space for support
• Letting go of shame around suicidal thoughts

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Get Lisa Sugarman's book, Surviving: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss
• Download the free companion conversation guide
• Become a Patron/Get the Workbook
• Learn more about Restorative Grief and Enneagram Coaching
• Connect on Instagram/Threads

"No one is actually grading you on your grief."

What if the pressure to be "strong" is keeping you from being honest about what grief actually feels like?

Today's conversation is with Leslie Harter-Berg, author of You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment. After the sudden death of her husband, Ryan, Leslie found herself trying to live up to everyone's expectations of what a grieving person should look like, until she realized there was no right way to carry loss.

If you've ever wondered whether you're grieving "correctly," I hope this conversation offers you permission to let that question go.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why "you're so strong" can become an impossible expectation
• Letting go of the idea that grief follows a predictable timeline
• How grief shows up in ordinary moments instead of dramatic ones
• Redefining strength after profound loss
• Why failure isn't the opposite of healing
• The importance of simply showing up for grieving people
• Food, hospitality, and caring for one another through everyday rituals
• Leslie's collaboration with her sister Natalie and The Modern Proper on supporting grieving families

Links + Resources from this episode:

• You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment by Leslie Harter-Berg
• Leslie Harter-Berg: https://www.leslieharterberg.com/
• Leslie's Substack: https://leslieharterberg.substack.com/
• Casserole Core with Natalie Mortimer and The Modern Proper
• Vids for Wids: https://vidsforwids.com/

• Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/mandycapehart

"Maybe that is what these seasonal transitions are really offering us. Not a chance to get back to normal, but a chance to become more honest about what is changing."

What if some of the grief in your life is coming from a transition you actually wanted?

In this episode, we are talking about the grief that can show up when life changes, even when the change is exciting or necessary. Sending a kid to college, moving, changing jobs, leaving a community, or simply becoming someone new can bring a surprising amount of grief with it.

We look at Francis Weller's idea of the descent, what our bodies can tell us during seasons of change, and why we do not have to rush ourselves into whatever comes next. I also share two simple rituals for marking transitions and making a little more room for what we are feeling.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Transitional grief and why we often miss it
• Why wanted changes can still hurt
• Francis Weller's idea of the descent
• Listening to your body during change
• Why we need other people when life is shifting
• Two simple rituals for marking a transition
• Making room for the in-between

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Become a Patron!
• Connect with Mandy on Instagram
• Learn more about coaching
• Get a copy of Apprenticeship with Sorrow by Francis Weller

"Living a full life, living a beautiful life, means learning how to carry grief."

What if grief isn't something we're meant to get over, but something we're meant to learn how to carry?

In today's episode, I'm joined by therapist and author Margaret Bryden to explore the intersection of grief, creativity, and the healing power of honest expression.

Margaret's upcoming book, How I Understand It: A Bad Poet's Guide to Mental Health and Resilience, offers a refreshing invitation to set aside perfection and discover how writing can help us better understand ourselves and our experiences.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why grief is an inevitable part of living a full life
• How "bad poetry" helps quiet perfectionism and self-criticism
• Turning grief into something tangible we can hold and understand
• The role of creativity in restoring agency after loss
• Why many people feel pressure to perform grief
• Narrative authority and reclaiming ownership of your story
• The connection between poetry, self-awareness, and healing
• Why resilience is learning how to love differently

• How creative expression reduces isolation and fosters connection
• A simple way to begin writing, even if you've never considered yourself creative

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Buy Margaret's book
• Connect with Margaret online
• Follow her on Instagram
• Become a Patron
• Learn more about Restorative Grief

“I’m fine” is often less a truth and more a reflex that pulls us away from what we actually feel.

What if that phrase is quietly shaping how you move through grief, stress, and relationship without you realizing the cost? Beneath it, self-abandonment can start to look like stability.

Today’s conversation explores what I’m calling high-functioning grief; the kind that runs underneath daily life while everything still looks “fine” on the outside.

We look at how this pattern shows up in the nervous system, why grief often hides inside functioning and responsibility, and what it means to stop overriding yourself and come back into contact with your inner experience.

In this episode, we talk about:

• High-functioning grief in everyday life
• Why “I’m fine” becomes a reflex
• Grief hidden inside functioning and responsibility
• Nervous system patterns of self-abandonment
• Coming back into contact with yourself
• How honesty shifts relationships

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Get Anne Lamott’s book, Almost Everything

• Become a Patron
• Connect with Mandy
• Learn more about Restorative Grief

“The invitation has always been towards a descent.”

Grief is a core human faculty that requires skill development rather than simply passing through. This week, we’re exploring these skills through the lens of an apprenticeship of sorrow with author and teacher Francis Weller.

Francis’ work invites us to consider the necessarily communal reality of grief work and in this conversation, we also covered practical advice for those struggling with acute grief, too.

In this episode, we talk about:

• ​Grief as a communal human faculty
• ​The value of community support in our grief work
• ​The expression of vulnerability
• ​Collective ritual practices
• ​Balancing grief and gratitude
• ​Embracing the darkness
• ​Acknowledging and pursuing primary satisfactions for grounding

Links + Resources from this episode:

• ​FrancisWeller.net
• ​Learn more about Restorative Grief Coaching
• ​Become a Patron/Get the workbook
• ​Follow Mandy on Instagram

"Gratitude does not require us to appreciate suffering. Sometimes gratitude simply invites us to notice what is present alongside suffering."

What if gratitude was never meant to replace grief, but to sit beside it?

In this episode, I'm sharing the story of one of my last visits with my grandfather before his death and exploring why gratitude and grief are not opposites. Together, we'll talk about anticipatory grief, why gratitude is so often used to bypass sorrow, and a simple restorative practice I return to on the days when hope feels far away.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why gratitude and grief can coexist
• Anticipatory grief and grieving before death
• The difference between gratitude and toxic positivity
• A simple trauma-informed restorative practice for difficult days
• How grief can deepen our capacity for gratitude

Links + Resources from this episode:

• Join the Restorative Grief Community
• Become a Patron
• Subscribe to the Restorative Grief Newsletter
• Work with Mandy

"Most of us spend far more of our lives in the middle than we expect."

What happens when grief is not tied to a single event, but to a season of becoming?

Today, I'm joined by writer and author Adriel Booker, whose newest book, Tethered to Hope, explores the liminal spaces of life. Those moments when something has ended, something else is beginning, and we find ourselves navigating uncertainty, identity shifts, questions of faith, and the grief that often accompanies change.

Together, we explore what it means to live in those in-between spaces with honesty and compassion. Rather than rushing toward resolution, Adriel invites us to consider how hope can remain present even when clarity is not.

If you've ever felt suspended between what was and what comes next, this conversation offers language, companionship, and permission to remain present to your own unfolding.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What liminal spaces are and why they matter
• The grief that accompanies change and transition
• Identity shifts after loss
• Faith, doubt, and living with unanswered questions
• Hope without certainty

• Learning to remain present during seasons of becoming
• The difference between resolution and transformation

Links + Resources from this episode

• Adriel Booker's website

• Tethered to Hope
• Adriel's Substack
• Restorative Grief Community & Resources
• Become a Patron!