Restore Yourself. Restore Your Marriage.

Have you ever felt yourself comparing your sex life to what you see in the movies?  Husbands may compare it to porn and the women may compare it to rom-com movies.  Both of these paid portrayals of a healthy sex life are short lived and choreographed.  

They are not showing real life, where parenting differences show up, exhaustion from work and raising kids comes into play, and the baggage that each spouse brings to the marriage bed plays out.  What is actually needed is a way to bridge the gap of differences in a way that is real and authentic.

Listen in as we discuss what it means to compare, to understand the gap, and how to move towards pleasurable experiences that are far more inclusive, leading to an organic orgasmic experience.  Husbands will benefit from this episode just as much as the wife will when it comes to creating a sexual life that is fulfilling instead of frustrating.

Have you ever felt the pressure to perform when it comes the intimate experience?  This can easily come as a byproduct of the sexpectations that exist in the media we are exposed to and the world we live in today.

When a wife feels the pressure to perform in order to be a "good wife," and when a husband feels the pressure to perform in order to be a "good lover," a high level of mental distress comes with it, and can interrupt the natural desire to be close and intimate.

Stress is one of the biggest blockers to feeling a desire to be intimate.  So, understanding the pressure to perform will be extremely valuable.  Listen in on this episode to discover how having a conversation about a hypothetical experiment can really shed some light on the pressure to perform.

Have you ever felt like you were just going through the motions of having sex with your husband, but there didn't seem to be much in it for you?  This is totally normal and its actually very common.  

But after a while, you may start to become angry or resentful if you don't define your own purposes for being involved in sexy time.  You may start to view your husband, your marriage, and sex as a whole through a very negative lens or maybe even as a waste of your time.

Why go through your entire marriage like that?  Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at the top three reasons women usually have sex with their husband that has very little to do with their own purpose.  We will then explore 4 new female-driven reasons for sex with some fun and playful ideas to make it more enjoyable!  

Have you ever experienced the theme in your marriage that "it's my spouse 's fault that my sex life isn't better?"  If so, you are not alone.  While never intending to think this way on purpose, many spouses find themselves thinking this exact thought.

The key factor to notice here is the word "intending."  MOST of our thoughts happen unintentionally, even when it comes to thoughts about intimacy, or the things we think get us "in the mood" or "out of the mood."  But what do we do when we have blaming thoughts and we don't know how to get out of that cycle?

Listen in on today's episode to discover a few thought-hacks that will act as a way to intervene when we think heavy things about our spouse.  Using these new phrases will help us pause long enough to think more intentionally about how we want to move forward with our intimate experiences. 

Have you ever participated in "duty" sex?  This is where you mainly have sex because you feel like it's your duty to and you are obligated to in order to be a "good wife."  

If we don't like the notion of having sex out of duty, chances are high that we won't enjoy the experience, that orgasm will be more challenging to achieve, pleasure will be minimal, and the desire to return for more will be low. 

There is so much misinformation out in the world about the female arousal system, which leads to more emphasis on male arousal and orgasm by default... or maybe by design.  Listen in on today's podcast to gain clarity on how continuing to have sex just out of duty only perpetuates the male orgasm bias and learn how to seek a more inclusive sexual experience.

Have you ever really taken the time to stop and think about the information that is out in the world about sex and intimacy?  Sadly, so much of it is just garbage.  

Even a husband with the best intentions, who is trying to improve things with his wife, can end up reading articles or books, or watching videos, that have incorrect and outdated information about the female arousal system, that use feminism as a buzzword and a mask, and then give limited solutions that go against the ethical standards of the helping professions.

It's time to stop this cycle and turn things around, and Anderson Coaching is here to help.  Listen in on today's episode as I go over some of the traps found in these types of media so that you can become more aware of them, learn to avoid them, and how every wife can find more valid and honest solutions to share with her husband. 

Do you remember some of those late night shows back in the day that used to do top ten lists?  Well, we are about to do the same thing, but we are going to be more focused on the specifics of what turns us off from wanting to be intimate.

Now, this list does not go in order and it for sure does not cover everything.  But we wanted to point out some of the most frequent ones while addressing the type of information that is out there on the internet.

Listen in as we discuss these top ten turn-offs, but pay special attention to number ten.  While this one is not so obvious and was NOT found on the other internet lists, it's perhaps the most real, and therefore the most valuable, one to know.  Then listen for the main traps you could fall into with this knowledge and what to do to stay out of them.  

Last week, we did a podcast on not being "in the mood" for sex, and this week we are doing a podcast on not being very "interested" in it.  Aren't these two the same thing?

Well, they are not.  But do we know how they are different?  One actually comes before the other and causes it to happen.  Do you know which one needs to come first in order to activate the female arousal system with the most efficacy? 

Knowing the difference between these two is key!  Listen in as we discuss the difference, and how increasing the first one in a positive way will effect the second in a positive way as well.  It may just surprise you how simple it can be to expand your interest in sex. 

Click here for your Freebie: https://www.theshellieanderson.com/the-24-intimacies-challenge   

Have you ever felt like you were not "in the mood" for sex?  Most of us can relate to this from time to time,  but what about when it happens a lot?  No need to go searching the internets for hours on end looking for couples counselor near me.  Start by listening to this episode and by applying the concepts.

What happens inside the bedroom, or lack thereof, is often an indication of what is happening outside of the bedroom... or what's not happening.  If we are longing to feel more emotionally connected to our spouse outside of the bedroom, but can't quite seem to figure out how to achieve it, intimacy is where this challenge will show up and become more obvious.

Listen in as we discuss the origins of being "in the mood," and how increasing our understanding of it can help us improve it.  We will even discuss the incredible movie "The Sound of Freedom" and how trying to improve the sexual aspect of our marriage can act as an added measure of protection for our precious children.

Sometimes in marriage, we may feel the tension of a power struggle, especially when it shows up in the sexual aspect of our relationship.  At times, we may feel like we are just our spouse's sex slave, with little say in how the experience is going for ourselves.

But it doesn't have to be this way.  We can choose to focus on the freedoms that we actually have in our marriage when it comes to our intimate and sexual experience.  We need to remember that we very much have a say in what we want that very personal aspect of our marriage to look like.  So, what is it that we want to say? 

What have you been longing to experience more of when it comes to intimacy with your spouse?  Listen in on this episode as we define freedom, discuss the three important freedoms to focus on for more meaningful intimacy, and what it means to have sexual sovereignty. 

Be sure to get the freebie that goes along with this podcast at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.com and look for "3 Sophisticated Strategies for a Wife's Sexual Sovereignty."