Rethinking Communication

In this episode, I speak with Mischa Zvegintzov about his journey to sobriety at 17 years old and how getting in touch with his emotions and his curiosity fueled a new approach to relationships with others.

Check out Mischa's work at https://www.theinfluencearmy.com/. 

Clichés and jargon are hampering your ability to effectively and confidently communicate your views and ideas with others.

In this episode, I walk you through a few ways you can ditch throwaway sayings and phrases and replace them with more impactful language.

Don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter to grab your free worksheet on the Detail Sprinkle Method at https://michaelashford.com/newsletter. 

Rich Harwood, President and Founder of The Harwood Institute, joins me on this episode.

Over the past 35+ years, Rich has used his philosophy and practice of how community leaders can solve shared problems and deepen people’s civic belief worldwide to tackle some of the most deeply divisive issues.

As Rich explains, we need a better way to communicate through change, where we get out of the cul-de-sac of toxicity and step into our shared narratives of being builders, creators, and producers.

Rich's philosophy is grounded in what he views as an important prerequisite for change: finding a way to see more than what you want to see or are willing to see.

Watch the PBS Newshour feature that showcased Rich's work in North Carolina: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/how-a-north-carolina-community-is-confronting-divisions-talking-through-its-differences

Learn more about the Harwood Institute at https://theharwoodinstitute.org/ 

This episode exposes a cunning and sometimes dangerous communication tactic we employ when we face disagreement or opposition.

The “stick to sports” clapback that has pervaded our discourse on deeply challenging and controversial topics is an attempt to limit another human being, relying on strict and uncompromising assumptions and presumptions about who they are and the value they bring to a particular issue.

To communicate well with others beyond the ways you were taught in school, you must know yourself and your motivations far better than you were led to believe.

If you're interested in working with me as a speaking coach, go to https://michaelashford.com/speaking-coaching. If you're interested in bringing me in to facilitate a communications workshop for your company, check out https://michaelashford.com/workshops. 

Aden Nepom helps people build better habits around communication and collaboration to experience more joy in their work through her work with her company, Art of Change.

The feeling of joy as a conversational outcome is an interesting one, and Aden defines that joy as wholeness, excitement, and a sense of goodness in oneself.

As Aden describes, change requires experiencing it, and grief is a natural part of letting go of past expectations. Assumptions, fear, and joy often intersect in communication, and assuming positive intent and effective communication can drive positive change in the workplace.

Aden encourages self-awareness, asking for what you need and want, and avoiding polarizing communication, as relational conversations and collaboration are key to fostering joy and satisfaction in work and in our personal relationships.

Check out Aden's work at https://www.artofchange.com/ and connect with her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/adennepom/. 

If you want to bring about real, lasting, sustainable change in others, your efforts will be greatly helped if you become a more curious person.

As I explain in this episode, curiosity about others leads to greater understanding and less reliance on forcing others to change.

To give yourself a boost of curiosity, there are two questions you can begin asking yourself to set up more positive conversational outcomes.

Tim Wenzel is back on the show to discuss his book, "The Kindness Games," which he co-authored with Lee Oughton.

Tim was my guest in episode 104, where he shared how the original idea of The Kindness Games came about. Now that the book is out, Tim shares what went into writing it, the lessons learned, the stories highlighted, and his hope for the message.

Perhaps most importantly, Tim wants us to know that kindness has a power all unto its own, with the ability to break down systems of control.

Order "The Kindness Games" at https://www.amazon.com/Kindness-Games-Changed-Mindset-Community/dp/194578332X/ref=sr_1_2. 

Connect with Tim's work at https://thekindnessgames.com/. 

Is an unawareness of sunk costs sabotaging your communication efforts?

We often hold on to decisions, beliefs, and strategies simply because we’ve already poured time, money, or energy into them, even when we know they are no longer serving us well or are no longer aligned with who we are.

Understanding the role that sunk costs play in our decision-making — and how to work with them, not against them — is critical to clearer, more effective communication. 

Whether in your personal life or professional interactions, this episode will give you fresh insights on how to cut through the noise and make more rational, impactful decisions, including three questions you should ask yourself.

Our society spends an awful lot of time and energy trying to categorize and label people.

From your political affiliation to your religion to your generation to your level of schooling, each "box" comes with it expectations of who and what you are, and as a result, a prediction of how successful you'll be in your chosen pursuits.

My guest in this episode is Vikram Mansharamani, author of the book, "The Making of a Generalist." Vikram has spent his life shunning the traditional ways of success and instead carved out a path for himself that leans into uncertainty and discomfort.

In this conversation, Vikram and I discuss what he calls "the migrant mindset," and how it has guided his decision-making throughout his life.

Vikram also explains why understanding as many points of view as possible is so important to him — a belief solidified by a respect for the fact that "every perspective is biased, incomplete, and therefore limited."

Learn more about Vikram at https://mansharamani.com/ and connect with him on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/vikrammansharamani.

How can you make your disagreements more meaningful?

Too often, when conflict arises, there's an understanding that a disagreement is present, but rarely do we take the time to truly understand why the disagreement is there in the first place.

This happens everywhere — at work, within family dynamics, with friends and significant others, in the political and social sphere. If you look closely, so many of the arguments being had are surface-level battles about the fact that a disagreement is present and not about the actual point of contention in question.

In this episode, I explain how one simple phrase — "The story I'm telling myself is..." — can make all the difference when trying to overcome conflict and disagreement.

Listen to episode 81 with Mónica Guzmán at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-81-monica-guzman-the-perspective-changing-power-of-asking-what-am-i-missing

Listen to episode 131 with Robin Reames at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-131-robin-reames-the-lost-understanding-of-rhetoric-and-the-power-behind-words