Retro Radio Podcast

Being the second week of leap year, Don introduces that man who hasn’t left in years… Jack Benny. He gets teased about getting older, when Mary and Phil enters. Taking votes for his girlfriend, Gladys to be elected Miss Vine Street, Jack calls on Dennis to sing, Down By the River.

The play is introduced, and Jack issues out the parts, with the violinist going to himself.. Mary will be his wife, and Dennis their son. Extra help is added to the cast, and a phone interruption from Gladys complains about how Jack has been running her campaign. Phil plays, The Rumba Jump.

Jack tries to explain the term, intermezzo, but it may take Phil to bail him out. Will Jack suspect that Mary suspects that he’s having a fling while on concert tour? Phil is Jack’s personal assistant who keeps his schedule on track. Will his tour be a success? Will the loyalty of a faithful wife win the day over the betrayal?

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Planning for his old age, Phil coachew his daughter in a singing lesson. Is singing their talent? Have the girls inherited Phil’s brassiness? Will Phil besupproted by his kids like Crosby is? He pitches his million selling reccord the Thing. Will Remley have any better ideas on good jobs for girls these day. Phil sings, The Preacher and the Bear.

Frankie thinks the girl in the nightclub who sells cigars and cigarettes is the ideal voice coach for he girls. Phil goes to band practice, and Frankie hires the girl to be Phil’s new singer. How will Frankie break the news to Phil? Might he take the chance to replace Alice on the show with the new vocalist. A sob story, and turning on the tears adds extra leverage to getting Carmen the job. Alice sings, Why Fight the Feeling.

To convince Alice to step down, the guys pretend they couldn’t hear her sing. Julius spills the beans on the sultry dame hiding in his dressing room.

Note: Frankie gets called Elliot.

On a rainy day in 1883, Watson had just finished his breakfast, when Holmes surprises him while in disguise. On the streets as a ragged begger, he has learned the honor of a duchess is at stake. Does it relate to a murder case the detectives worked on in the past? Holmes and Watson recount the case of poisoning, and risk of lost inheritance.

Miss Stoner fears she’ll be murdered, just as her sister had been. What did her sister’s dying words mean about a speckled band? Will Holmes be able to protect her from her step father, Moran? Will the grumpy man be able to warn that insolent rascal Holmes off the matter? The brute strength Moran shows in bending a fireplace poker means nothing to Sherlock.

Visiting Miss Stoners room, Holmes finds curiosities with bell ropes, vents, and strange music in the night. Holmes sees danger, and develops a plan to bring it to an end. The trap isn’t without danger to Watson on this night for a fowl business. As our sleuths sneak through the house at night, the planned murder is picked apart, and the mystery of it is unraveled as it backfires on a killer.

Note: At first listen, I thought the story was a little contrived. Afterward, it dawned on me the story is from an actual Conan Doyle tale. I blame any appearance of being contrived on the nature of having to convert the story into a radio script that has to fit into a precise 30 minute format. A film was made with the same name, and is freely available on Archive.org, but it pre-dates the team of Rathbone and Bruce as the famous detectives, so if you check it out, get ready for a slightly different feel to the movie.

A telegram sends Bill and Jingles out to check on a potential range war. Word gets around fast in a town like Brownsville, and the governor’s visit has the tongues wagging. A newspaper article already tells the story of the governor’s arrival, kidnapping, and a befuddled Bill Hickock. Hey… what is this? The townsfolk explain their plans, and Bill goes to escort the stage coach.

Neither Bill or Jingles see the joke in the article, or the planned fake hold up and kidnapping. When calamity strikes, the kidnappers seem more serious than implied earlier. Won’t the governor be surprised to take his blindfold off, only to find himself in town! Bill is surprised to learn another band of masked men have whisked the governor away. Bill scrambles to come up with a plan to have Jingles stay in town to do some spying, while he lets himself be run out.

Racing through the night, from farm to farm, Bill searches the truth about what happened. Will Jingles have any updates on activities in town? Gunplay, and fist fighting action erupts when Bill locates the governor.

Finally arriving at the treasure site, Cedric gives orders. Being president of the treasure company, in a turn around from the other day where the car broke down, Cedric wants to relax by playing pinball while the gents dig holes.

Will it do if Lum uses psychology on Cedric. You know… just to relieve the lad of the woes of the downfall of money. will he let the older gents manage the finances of the company

Cedric reads the map instructions to pace off distances from landmarks. It takes Lum to help with compass directions. The paces seem right, but the landmarks don’t seem to match up. The whole while, Lum keeps trying to preach against the lure of greed, and human nature.

Can Lum and Abner carry on about the down side of money and greed, and the downward moral slope it carries an impressionable soul? Cedric finally responds, but giving over the map isn’t what was on his mind.

Visiting a crime of 30 yers ago, a 32 year old Peter Amery looked much older than his years, and wife just 4 years younger than he. In voiceover, details are shared of the wife running into the street, screaming for a doctor, and the events that got the investigation started. Testimonies are recorded, as the Scotland Yard inspectors gather information. Might Mrs Amery be covering something up? Witnesses have seen the killer fleeing the scene.

Neighbors recount hints of marital troubles between the Amery’s. Mrs Amery is universally beloved in the community, but not so much can be said for her husband. Who is the young man named Westlake? A sailor, a friend, her brother, or some other relationship connected to the couple? The young, 20 year old is turned up. Was he out at sea when the crime went down, or not??

Troubling details include the question of why Mrs Amery was concerned the killer who was seen fleeing, might be recognized. Flaws in her story are tested. A confrontation with Westlake turns explosive, and confessions are forth coming. The torrid romance is exposed, the mystery revealed, but will a possible blackmail scheme do any good to shift blame?

Lou is excited as he talks to Bud about his new house he bought on a ranch. The jokes are naturally flavored by topics involving real estate, mortgages, home inspections, and styles. Of course with the chances to play on words, Bud and Lou squeeze in twists on family and marriage jokes.

A musical interlude is snipped, and we rejoin the guys at Lou’s house so he can show the place off. Bud complains that Lou’s house is missing it’s bathroom. Lou has to call the ration board to get the clearance to install the new pipes. A flood of plumbing jokes ensue with Ken Niles handling much of the voice tallent as Lou talks to various agencies and plumbers.

To seek satisfaction they go to a salvage store run by Mr Kitzel to see what they can get second hand. He has a tub, and after some interesting haggling, and to save some money, Lou hauls it home himself. The scene changes to Bud driving the car, the tub on top, and Lou inside it to hold it down. A situation funny enough by itself that it almost doesn’t need any extra jokes.

Finally back at home Lou has a special trick to get his tub in the house. Now it’s time to install the pipes and tub so Ken Niles joins in to help. With only a few snags, and a short comedy routine, they finally get Lou’s house outfitted. Sort of.

Henry and Homer discuss their parts in the school production. Geraldine races in to congratulate Henry on his part in the lead role in the operetta, but is it true? Will his dad be able to help him take the blow of the mistake a little better?

Too oblivious to those around him, who are trying to let him down softly, Henry is full of himself with his assumed victory. What will it take to dissuade Henry from practicing, and expecting to be in the production? Even mom and dad go as far to urge Henry to go on an out of town trip to avoid being in the operetta.

Not to be outdone, Henry tries his best to sing, even visiting his old music teacher, but his voice is far from rising to the job. It takes student action, and protests to set the ball in motion to remove Henry from the cast. Will anybody tell him what his real part in the production is?

Homicide detail. A man crouches on a ledge of a building and threatens to jump.

Footsteps echo as Joe Friday gets the word from partner Ben Romero, and they walk out the hall to deal with the attraction, a man threatening to jump from the 13th floor. The jumper is one of the queerest ones yet. Using a hammer to swipe at those who get too close, he warns his would be rescuers that they’re trying to cripple him, or trying to kill him.

Volunteering to step out on the 14 inch wide ledge, windows creak open as Joe goes into voiceover to describe his thoughts, and perspective. Can any sense be talked to Walter? How about an appeal of sympathy to the disturbed man’s troubled mind? What about an appeal to how it makes his loved ones feel? In conference with the doctor, cops discuss the next direction to try

Time is of the essence. Walter left a note threatening to jump at 2 O’Clock. With the gathering crowd, it’s becoming more likely a bystander will be injured. Emergency workers can only stand by at a safe distance. Will it be more affective if Walter heard the voice of his sister calling him to safety? With all the emotional appeals, there’s another tack. Try to get Walter riled enough to come after Joe.

The expedition for lost treasure is nearing the destination. Today, we find tCedric, Lum, and Abner with a breakdown beside the road. Taking shelter from the blazing hot weather, the gents carry their food and goods that might spoil to the shade. Lum worries about strange animals they might have in whatever state they broke down in.

What’s needed is a good rest. No need to over do it, and come down with a nervous breakdown. Lum and Abner discuss folks in town as they’ve either succumbed to the heat, or dealt with it. They sure hope Cedric is going to be OK, as they watch him laboring on the car under the sun.

A body would do well if he were properly nourished. Maybe a little sliver of pie to energize themselves would do, as they build up steam to go and help Cedric. Have they ate enough to go help Cedric? Lum finally has the solution to having to sit idly by and watch Cedric laboring over the engine.