Parenting children from hard places requires an extraordinary partnership between spouses. In this candid conversation, Nicole interviews her husband Bruce about how they've navigated the challenges and joys of foster parenting as a team.

When Nicole first felt called to foster care, Bruce's immediate response was a firm "no." His journey from reluctance to acceptance reveals how important it is for both partners to independently hear God's calling rather than one spouse feeling coerced. Through vulnerably sharing their early missteps, the Barlows demonstrate how complementary differences between spouses can either strengthen or undermine trauma-informed parenting.

One of their most significant discoveries came after bringing home their sibling group of five. Bruce's natural bent toward being the "fun parent" while Nicole maintained structure created inconsistency that triggered their children's trauma responses. They learned that children with trauma backgrounds need both parents to provide high structure AND high nurture simultaneously—not the traditional "good cop/bad cop" division many couples naturally fall into.

The conversation takes a touching turn when they discuss how they support each other through parenting mistakes. Bruce shares how offering grace rather than criticism when Nicole becomes dysregulated creates space for repair—modeling for their children what healthy relationships look like, including how to mess up and make things right.

Their key advice? Both parents must become students of trauma-informed care. "It doesn't work for just one parent to do all the research and try to convey that to the other parent," Bruce emphasizes. This mutual commitment to understanding creates the unified approach that children with trauma desperately need.

Whether you're considering foster care, currently fostering, or simply wanting to strengthen your parenting partnership, this conversation offers practical wisdom for creating the consistent, loving environment where children—and marriages—can thrive.

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Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/