Ringheads

After some last-minute preparations, goodbyes, and a final bit of moping, our heroes make like Willie Nelson and get back on the road again. They are now, officially, as the title of this movie says, the Fellowship of the Ring. Dramatic landscapes, snow-covered alps and another of Sam's meaty breakfasts follow.

Aragorn and Boromir meet cute over a messed-up sword. Then Arwen and Aragorn don't exactly do great with the Bechdel Test. But finally the main event: a very important council of people from all over Middle Earth, at Elrond's place! What should they call this solemn, momentous occasion, where the fate of the world is decided? Just ..what the hell,.name it after the guy whose house it's at? OK fine...

A brief visit back to Saruman, who’s doing all right for himself: a new factory, great staff, and a revolting way of making new soldiers. Then: Arwen! Not Glorfindel. And we finally get to Rivendell, where everyone gets to relax for 3-5 minutes.

Frodo and the gang reach Bree, a town of very unhygienic men. There they meet Aragorn, also unhygienic but a well-meaning dude. Aragorn takes them to Weathertop, where they face off with the Black Riders and hijinks* ensue! (*stabbings)

After many preparations, the hobbits finally get on the road, walk a few miles, then start cooking sausages. Black Riders, Elves, Farmer Maggot, Old Man Willow, Tom "Not Appearing in the Movie" Bombadil, then more sausages. Bill and Sean discuss it all, explain what they can, make lots of jokes, but they don't get any sausage.

We commence the watch party! Starting with as much as we can get through of the first of the Peter Jackson movie trilogy, Fellowship of the Ring, which premiered nearly 20 years ago... whatever Age that was. We're going at a leisurely pace so we're not sure exactly how long it will take us to get through each movie. But we can say, confidently: plenty of movie episodes ahead! Stock up on snacks. (No lembas bread, please. Tasteless, too filling, loaded with elf-carbs. Bleghh.)

The Crevain from Dunland were not available so Bill delivers it himself.

Welcome to the golden age of Men. The idyllic island of Numenor, where wise, attractive and (we cannot emphasize this enough) TALL men reign over a time of wonder and magic. This is Tolkien though, so it doesn't last. Too bad they didn't develop gills in time.

Arda is now created and has elves, men, and all kinds of demonic beings running around on it. And oh yeah, the gods are mostly hanging out on their own walled-off island, just, y'know, relaxing. Welcome to the Great Tales. Constant tragedy is fun!

We’re diving into the Tolkienverse, starting with the creation of the world. I mean, where else would you start a story?