Riverdo's and Riverdon'ts

Riverdo's and Riverdon'ts

By TV & Film
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Riverdo's and Riverdon'ts episodes

  • Episode 6: Have They Tried Being Jazz?

    Episode 6 marks a return to form for Riverdale, with talent shows, kissing, strangely incongruous Jughead narrations, and nightmarishly terrible parenting. With the reckoning that was Episode 4 and the fever dream of Episode 5 behind us, it kinda feels like we're watching actual Riverdale again. But don't worry, folks. It's still weird trash.


    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    29 min
  • Episode 5: S-N-A-K-E-B-O-X

    In episode 5, HEART OF DARKNESS, Riverdale produces the narrative equivalent of a good, strong (if weird) mouthwash to get the lingering taste of poorly-handled sexual abuse plotlines out of the viewership's collective mouths.


    We applaud the audacity of the huge, inexplicable tonal shift, and how effectively we're led to forget about the icky stuff that came before when now we're just watching a completely different show that we very much don't understand.

    And I guess there are Batman villains in Riverdale now.

    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    21 min
  • Episode 4: Hundred-Year-Old Pig Skeleton

    Problem: Your show is proving quite popular, but there's this huge, gross elephant in the room; there's a statutory rape plot going on that just... isn't being handled well, and someone up the chain of command has decided that this plotline has to be forcefully concluded in the runtime of one episode.


    Solution: *puts on clown shoes, mounts unicycle, and honk-honk's off into the distance*

    This episode is a MESS. It certainly leaves the setting in better condition than it found it, but hoo boy did they throw caution to... whatever is PAST the wind.

    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    24 min
  • Episode 3: I Don't Think so, Tim

    Things get just a skosh bananapants in the 3rd episode, and our coverage becomes similarly less disciplined. Though we cover it in the episode, I feel it's important to also point out here that the act of putting maple syrup on a human body is not, in itself, sex. And if your dog transforms into Tim Allen, you don't need to live in fear. You are not alone.


    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    29 min
  • Episode 3: I Don’t Think so, Tim

    Things get just a skosh bananapants in the 3rd episode, and our coverage becomes similarly less disciplined. Though we cover it in the episode, I feel it's important to also point out here that the act of putting maple syrup on a human body is not, in itself, sex. And if your dog transforms into Tim Allen, you don't need to live in fear. You are not alone.

    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.


    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    29 min
  • Episode 2: Veronica Lodge is Secretly Deadpool

    The plot thickens, the characterizations become more confusing and fragmented, the camera still loves everything, and we get hit right in the bro-feels in our mid-to-shallow delve into the second episode of Riverdale.

    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    26 min
  • Episode 1: Leave Room for Jason

    In our inaugural episode, we explore the first episode of Riverdale; a disciplined if a bit angsty affair that in no way prepares us for the weirdness just over the horizon.


    Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

    Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

    29 min

About Riverdo's and Riverdon'ts

From the publisher's feed

A Journey into the Good, the Bad, and the Weird in Riverdale