Kicking off this election week with Elmer Fudd to kick off opening audio as a man pretended to be  him to get out of a ticket...A woman slept with over 100 men in one day...Her advice is to cheat to keep your relationship healthy...Michael Jackson almost did not do "We are the world" ...We are the children Mikey Jackson...Steve Harvey is planting Harvey seeds on The Feud...We contend the guests on his show are planted there by him...What in the world would Louie Anderson think about this? WWLD? What would Louie do...We have had our fill of The Fonz...He is really riding the Fonz thing until the wheels fall off...Enough Winkler...Johnny checked in on a Monday...He was carded for everything bagel Hummus...It looks like we won't have drinkable water until mid...Diddy's NDA's last for 70 years just in case you signed one...Courtney Cox is having seances at her house with a Ouija board in the hopes that she can communicate with Matthew Perry, as she feels there are unanswered questions...She hasn't been able to contact him yet...Remember the Dean scream? Well, it took Howard Dean down...Could the offing of Peanut the Squirrel be the thing that takes down the Dems? RIP Peanut...How could you possibly rob people while at a funeral? That is what one woman did...Not only that she stole credit cards and spent thousands of dollars at Build-A-Bear...It's that time of the year...Oprah's favorite thinggggsssss...Among these are intimate items that Gayle and Oprah came up with together...Would you like to get intimate with those two? It is beginning to feel that Oprah writes for the Peterman catalogue...A woman in NJ was not happy that she wasn't allowed to wear her MAGA gear to vote, so she took her top off and voted in her bra...A burglar was caught naked eating candy...GEN Z is choosing its college based on how the college looks on social media...1-800-BUTTERBALL we will spatchcock because of you!!...Everyone enjoy this Monday election week edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Let's walk steadily into this Thursday edition of the show...As we kick off opening audio we talk about the beds we want...Rizzo wants a racecar bed...Jeff wants a wrestling ring bed...A woman has a coffin bed so that she can hide in it and get away from her problems...A woman walks us through what it is like to have gotten it on with a ghost who is a British soldier from the 1700's and is a dynamo in the sack...Tim Walz should have gotten hand fart song guy to join him at his rally yesterday...A man came back to his computer after he thought the Zoom meeting had ended and saw his boss getting his feet covered in peanut butter...Don't get high on your own supply...Folks are complaining that the M&M bags are coming with one or two inside...How do you know unless you are eating them? Scientists have found that lemurs get wasted like humans off of fermented fruit...Chipotle is addressing the viral complaints that they are skimping on portions...They are saying they will be giving out generous portions...The Menendez brothers might get out of jail...A date was set for 12/11 for a retrial...We had our political round-up...Donald Trump rode around in a trash truck...Joe Biden was eating the leg of a child dressed like a turkey...And Mayor Pete Buttigeg says after 4 years in office overseeing transportation that we should get a refund for canceled flights...A famous TikTok little person is mad because people want him to dress up as a tater tot for Halloween...Speaking of Halloween...Did you know there is a mascot for Halloween...It's called Stingy Jack...Candy corn fudge is not approved for those who take Jardiance or Ozempic...Rizzo "I'm diabetic...I got myself there and I don't care" ...Do you get walking unsteady alerts on your phone? Jeff gets them monthly...The Monster Mash is actually a story...Get yourself a pile of those Bojangles Pork Chop Grillers and hand them out for Halloween while listening to this Halloween edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

On the topic of mischievous elders, let's kick the show off with opening audio...But first we get to a woman who is having a ghost pregnancy with Casper the ghost...An elder went into a store and saw a deal for 44lbs of cheese and left with it...Another elder rode a golf cart into a restaurant and ran over people eating dinner...They claim she was not intoxicated...Naughty listener Wendy finally checked in and invited us over again for a bottle of wine after the show...A woman was arrested for rustling a sheep...That is stealing the sheep...If she isn't going to eat it or use it for wool, then what else would she do with it? We are still weirded out that Keith Morrison is the step-father of Matthew Perry...When they interviewed the family Keith took over the whole interview...Daylight savings is this weekend...Brad from Home Improvement was arrested for yet another DUI ...It's a shame he doesn't have Wilson to talk through the fence about it...The fitness app Strava used by many Secret Service agencies around the world is easily trackable...People were able to find out where certain world leaders were...Turtle soup anyone? A story that led the news was the fact that a tortoise was lost for 9 weeks...They sent out drones to find it, and it was less than 100 yards away from their house...A local principal was arrested for stealing over $80 worth of stuff from Target...Also shout out to the $20 Target Thanksgiving dinner meal they are offering...To shower in discolored water or not? That is Listener Court today on the show...They say it is safe to do but Rizzo refuses...Jeff is scrub-a-dubbing away...Rizzo pulled it out...Stay stinky Asheville...Tom Brady's ex Gisele has a bun in the oven at 44yrs old...Subway is being sued for grossly misleading ads for sandwiches "bursting with meat" ...McDonalds has finally figured out the issue when it comes to repairing their ice cream machines...That and so much more on this Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Let's start this off with a little song and dance...Well no problem...We have the song and dance daddy Rizzo...If you call 911 to order a pizza just make sure you order extra ham...A woman did that and went extra cheese...A 59 year old man who said he was 21 but looks older because of what he says is Benjamin Button Syndrome met a woman on Tinder...He also said he looks older because he works two jobs and his wife is overbearing...When you're repairing a kitchen just get the job done, enough with the song and dance...If your ghost of a mother in law is jumping up and down on your bed during private time with your husband, it might be her letting him know it's time for Blue Chew...A real bad botch of the national anthem happened, but was it worse than the Roseanne version? Roseanne takes the cake...She always takes the cake...The quarter pounder is back at McDonalds after it is determined it did not cause the E Coli outbreak...The most expensive in WNC sold for $14 million...Hulk Hogan claims he turned down a limo invite from both Madonna and Cher back in the day as he was with his wife at a few parties...Do we believe him? It was amazing to see $24.5 million raised at the concert for the Carolinas over the weekend to help rebuild our communities...What is the best type of Hot Pocket to use in a fight? Steak & Cheese? The OG Ham & Cheese...We concluded it is the Meatball & Mozzarella...We found the worst TV spin off of all time "The Michael Richards Show"...Although we did get to take a look at After Mash...Mrs. Columbo...Joey and a few other brutal spin offs...Why are people biting off fingers in Wisconsin...We lay the blame on the cheese...Havarti can make you do some pretty awful things to people...Demi Moore is frustrated about her cankles...A stripper named Viva Las Vegas is running for mayor of Portland...And RIP to the world's fattest cat Crumbs...He was 38lbs and his diet consisted of biscuits and soup...This Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show is for you Crumbs!!

GUESS WHAT?!? Rizzo saw a bear and her cubs in the mountains here…As we reminisced about our theater days it brought us to a conversation about Chi Chi’s…That was because McDonalds is having E-coli issues with their Quarter Pounder…It was the peppers that brought down the Chi Chi’s…Hopefully McDonalds is ok…Today we celebrate bologna…One woman couldn’t not pronounce it and never knew it was spelled that way…She might have a point…It should be “baloney”…Where does the church keep “da monies at” …It might be smart if you are planning to rob a church to not google about the location of “da monies” on your phone…Thin pork chop sandwiches for all…4 people in Evansville, IN have been charged with cemetery mischief as they tried to dig up a body to end a voodoo curse…The Shohei Otani baseball brought in $4.39 million at auction…The Yankees have decided to switch to cotton uniforms for the World Series…Thank you George Costanza…The election is now over…Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse has endorsed Kamala Harris for President…Speaking of elected officials…Tiffany Henyard…Dubbed “America’s worst mayor” is back at it threatening her political opponents…She will lock up anyone who is trying to oust her…We figured out what Rizzo’s real issue is…He is an Arctophile…That is a lover of bears…He was getting a lot of guff on Facebook… Whenever he sees a bear he can’t help but stop and record it…He is bear obsessed…The main thing I love about my husband is his heart…Is that like hearing “he has a good personality” ….Maybe if he stopped flying to Arkansas just to eat fried chicken she would like him for other things…Time for a stress test Jelly…

A cop resigned in disgrace after he was caught stealing toilet paper from the police station, he worked at…How much do you have to steal to resign in shame? A woman fell overboard on a Taylor Swift themed cruise…How crazy do you have to get…A judge was arrested for not letting go of the handshake of a police chief…A Jerry Springer documentary is in the works…We will see the dark side of the show…Carson Daly and Al Roker talked about it…Al got so excited that one slipped out…Instead of slipping out, how about you slip into this Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Mark called and came out of the Long John Silver's closet to kick off the show...Rapper Cardi B wants to sue CPS and kill the people that called them on her...She does take the kids to Skyzone...Celebrity Mortal Kombat is a thing...Some of the characters you can use are Kim Kardashian, Elon Musk, Gordon Ramsey and the strongest character OPRAH...Her finisher is called "The Clam" ...FINISH HIM!! Would you ever camel? A couple of women requested an Uber in Dubai and wound up getting a camel...We then found out that listener Johnny tried to mount an alpaca and got spit on...We have never seen Jelly Roll so excited...He went back to Arkansas and could not contain himself when it came to fried chicken...You know that you will forever be a part of the big community when you get paid for doing a gig with fried chicken...Would you ride in a flying taxi? The FAA said yesterday it came up with over 900 pages of regulations to make flying taxis a reality...A worker on a Royal Caribbean cruise recorded close to 1000 passengers in a ship's bathroom, and even slept underneath passengers' beds...Costco or Sam's Club? A man could not hold back talking about his love for Costco...He also admitted to sitting shirtless in the freezers there because he has no AC...We have a 94yr old woman that lives her life in the fast lane...She loves racing cars at over 100 MPH...Also we learned she has a trap house in Detroit...Halloween is not the same as it used to be...In the 80's Halloween was everything...From the commercials to the costumes to mischief night...How would you feel about a reboot of The Brady Bunch that is a reality show? Well, it is not going to happen...Cindy Brady claims they axed the idea for the show because she is politically "woke"....We leave you with an option on this Wednesday...A Rosie O'donnell conjugal visit? Or listening to this edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show? Choice is yours!!

You don’t want your last words to be “I did it” if you are Diddy…But that’s what he said he wants his last words to be…That kicked off opening audio today…Imagine going to your favorite fast food spot and then they have nothing available you want to order…A man got super emotional placing his vote…We feel he was an RFK Jr. guy…Basheer would you mind if we checked your freezer…We listened to a guy who claims he channels aliens and morphs into one…Why does he talk like a leprechaun? What would cause your apartment complex to not let you flush toilet paper down…A woman is the only one that is being singled out and not allowed to flush her toilet paper…We did learn through all of this that you can use old Readers Digest magazines to clean up…The final K-mart in the continental United States has closed…T.G.I. Fridays is also ready to file for bankruptcy…Another person was injured in the viral sprinkle pool at The Museum of Ice Cream…Do you cry over 3200 calories of deep fried Alaskan pollock? A man wrote a beautiful soliloquy about Long John Silver’s closing, and we just want all of the LJS fans to come out of the fish closet and tell us how much you love it….A woman had an issue with a pay it forward situation because her tab was on $11 and the car behind her was $35…The barista actually told her that paying it forwards is annoying to them…Kevin Costner did not like being connected to Hoda Kotb when it came to his love life…He said she has a nice “spark” aka a nice personality…Ouch Hoda…Ever get trapped in a gym membership? A man had to cancel his credit card because he could not get out of one…He saw some things in the gym that he didn’t want to see…When you go to vote, let Ethel get you juiced when you fill in those bubbles…Rosie O’Donnell has five kids? Well, we just learned something today…If you would like to learn something, just try listening to this Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

WE WERE ABLE TO GET OUR DUNKIN!! A sense of normalcy is afoot here in Asheville as the curfew has been lifted and businesses are opening back up!! We kicked the show off with opening audio...Jeff was lost about some Simpsons audio Rizzo chuckled over...An annoying Walmart worker has to sing people home at the end of the night when the store closes...People were cheering as a granny attempted to get on an escalator and took a tumble...What is the proper apology when a funeral home allows your loved one to fall out of the pack of the hearse on the way to the graveyard? That happened to a family...The funeral home gave a written apology...The Biltmore is reopening Nov. 2nd...The USPS has agreed to a new deal with their workers and there will now be pay raises and air conditioned trucks...President Trump had quite a weekend as he made fries and served folks at a McDonalds...Not only that, he also talked about his good friend Arnold Palmer...Not just about the man...But about his manhood...Now we know why Arnold Palmer iced tea/lemonade comes in the big can...The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame was over the weekend and we zeroed in on two current artists that sang for the inductees...One Jelly Roll who lost his breath singing Ozzie...And Kelly Clarkson who blew away Lou Gramm...What is the meanest thing you could do to someone? How about robbing someone's shoe store and only taking all of the right shoes...If you travel to New Zealand, just make sure you keep the hugging to a minimum...The airport there has made a new rule that you can only hug for 3 minutes and you have to move on...Jeff feels it is wayyy too long...How awkward is that? A man was arrested for sniffing the shoes of his neighbors...He went to many homes in his neighborhood and broke in just to take a sniff of some shoes that housed hooves...The NFL is banning reporters from the locker room so we don't get a peek of Travis Kelce's junk...We would like you to take a peek of this Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

This was QUITE the week. As we BEGIN A LONG arduous rebuild like so MANY in our DEVISTATED COMMUNITY we tried to bring a light and levity to those who are STRUGGLING and TRYING to find some light and laughter in this HORRIFIC TRAGEDY... We have BEEN THERE and WILL CONTINUE to BE THERE for ALL OF YOU because we are WNC STRONG!!!

With all the LOVE and THANKS in our Hearts, 
Rizzo and Jeff

See you Monday at 5am!!!

80 percent of the water has returned!!! We spoke on the show today with Clay Chandler who is the spokesperson for the water department of the city of Asheville, and he didn't want to commit but he did feel that we should be at 100% in the next 72 hours...As fast-food restaurants now re-open, can we leave the workers alone and not attempt to go viral with them? A simple discussion about Henry Winkler brought some levity to the show...It involved Jelly Roll, Taylor Swift and a list of 80's professional wrestlers...We learned Mariah Carey has a secret grunge album...We discussed the folks in Swannanoa who are living in tents in the cold and tried to figure out ways to help them...That and so much more as we adjust to our new normal after Helene...Don't wind up on the Rizzy Wrong List and listen to this Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!