RO-MANSPLAINING

Our former selves were so stupid, we have a listener!, the sound effects system is a failure, office fart and poop strategy, Nevada asks King to take her to see a brothel, bald-shaming men, can't leave an 18 year old girl alone in the 1800s to take Miss Annabelle to the hospital, King and Miss Annabelle's love connection is still blocked.

Miss Annabelle pressures Nevada to drop her first name to sound more lady-like, Nevada's lady-making tutoring shifts into high gear, Johnny's hotness sucks all the oxygen out of the air in London, King Cassidy shows Nevada and Miss Annabelle around, Miss Annabelle misses an opportunity to connect, Nevada goes out to gamble with Johnny and Lady Ashley, Lady Ashley is kind of a freak, Johnny wins big at the tables, and Nevada loses the competition for Johnny's attention.

Cha-ching, Leslie introduces morning zoo sound effects and takes the podcast down a dark, distracting road, we crack the heat-o-meter up again, Nevada cranks up her creep-o-meter staring at Johnny on the train, Adam gets waaay too sound effect-happy, new romances bloom in London, and Lady Ashley brings Johnny to full attention.

The size of the episode is related to the sex in the episode, Nevada joins King Cassidy for breakfast, the decision to highlight the potted palm as a detail in this chapter, Leslie gets generous with the points, Nevada reads Johnny's body during a big poker game.

Heat-o-meter cranks up to 9, we capture Adam's slow, sexual smile and post it to Snapchat, debating about swelling breasts, kinky chair sex is not as good in reality, the late 80s were very hairy, defining tumescence, Leslie would snug-snug with a tardigrade, grinding is very aggressive, Nevada is turned on by sweat droplets poised on chest hair.

Leslie quits the podcast, maritime plumbing in the late 1800s, Johnny Roulette might be obsessed with tanning, Adam steals Leslie's chest hair thunder, deck chair etiquette, Adam acts cool about his article in the WaPo, Nevada arranges for Johnny to play poker with King Cassidy.

Will Adam and Leslie's marriage survive his morning zoo sounds? Bright Eyes cover version leads to discussion about Leslie's ex-boyfriend, Leslie threatens to have sex with Captain Stubing, hellfire vs thundernation--which is worse, Old Willy is back and conjuring images, Adam explains how Johnny's tan is a metaphor, Adam is crisping up his chest hair and coins the word VagDrag.

Johnny and Miss Annabelle chat about Nevada's background, Adam still doesn't know who Sam is, they arrive in New York, day trips to Staten Island, Leslie mispronounces Goethals but gets her first point, Johnny won't stay for the Centennial celebration, there's no muster drill on their boat, and the Boobs of Justice don't like crowds. Also--Season 2 revealed: Twilight - Book vs. Movie in production now! Teaser coming soon.

Adam doesn't like the intro to this podcast, the world of Johnny Roulette, the reason for their journey abroad is revealed, Nevada tries to show Johnny that she's a woman--not a child, Leslie is filled with song again, opera boring the pants off of people, Pee Stain the famous guitar player.

Crossing the pond, Adam still doesn't remember what happened in chapter six, Leslie gives up on points, private steamer stop at the plantation, New Orleans gambling, goodnight kisses, Johnny Roulette is super tan, and the best quote of this book so far.