Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict.

At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and that does not mean your relationship is broken—these messy moments are opportunities to build trust, intimacy, and resilience. With empathy, self-soothing, and honest communication, even the most frustrating moments can become stepping stones toward secure love.

Key Takeaways:

• Learn to trust your partner’s intentions
• Self-soothe when frustration arises
• Turn relationship mistakes into repair
• Communicate impact without blame
• Build teamwork through conflict

Secure couples don’t avoid conflict—they transform it into an opportunity for growth and connection. This episode will show you how to move from blame to bonding, and how to use everyday challenges as a pathway to intimacy.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

What do you share about your partner when they’re not around—and do they know you’re sharing it?

In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a common but often overlooked issue in relationships: unspoken boundaries around privacy and public disclosure. As emotionally focused couples therapists, they offer insight into how even lighthearted jokes or venting to friends can quietly damage trust and create emotional disconnection.

The challenge? Many couples never talk about what’s okay to share and what’s sacred to keep between them.

Key takeaways include:

• Protecting your relationship through intentional boundaries
• Creating emotional safety with clear agreements
• Repairing ruptures when trust is unintentionally broken
• Strengthening your bond by working as a united front

Whether you’ve been hurt by oversharing or want to avoid future ruptures, this episode will guide you back to connection and clarity.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

What happens when the people who raised you become a source of tension in your marriage? In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, certified emotionally focused therapists Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional complexity of in law conflict resolution.

Many couples silently struggle with guilt, frustration, or emotional regression when navigating relationships with parents and in-laws. You might feel caught between the loyalty you feel toward your family of origin and the love you’re building with your partner. If you've ever wondered, “Whose side am I supposed to be on?” — this episode is for you.

Inside this episode, you'll learn:

• Why emotional regression happens around our parents—and how to notice it
• What it means to shift your primary alliance from your family to your partner
• How oversharing with parents can unintentionally betray your spouse
• Why you should be the “face” of your marriage when setting family boundaries
• Ways to navigate loyalty, conflict, and connection with compassion and clarity

We believe love grows stronger when we face these challenges together—with empathy, intention, and courage.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In today’s episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into the real-life challenges couples face around shared decision making—from everyday choices to major life transitions and even moments of intimacy. 

Hosts Kim and Kyle explore how traditional power dynamics, cultural and faith backgrounds, and unspoken expectations can leave one or both partners feeling unheard, disconnected, or resentful.

You’ll hear why simply “checking the box” or putting one partner’s needs first isn’t enough for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. 

Instead, true connection happens when both voices are valued, vulnerability is welcomed, and decisions are made together—whether about family, finances, or the bedroom.

Key Takeaways:

• Why shared decision making is the foundation of secure love
• How gender roles and cultural messages can undermine intimacy
• The risks of caretaking and “going through the motions”
• The power of voicing your needs and desires
• Strategies to move from power struggles to partnership
• How to slow down and talk about what really matters in decision moments

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this insightful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the often-overlooked conversations couples need to have in order to build trust, safety, and lasting connection.

Many couples assume they are on the same page when it comes to sexual intimacy — but unspoken differences around sexual imagery, emotional affairs, social media boundaries, and private sharing can quietly erode trust. Without clear communication and intentional agreements, even small misunderstandings can turn into painful betrayals.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why open conversations about sexual intimacy are crucial for secure relationships
• How unspoken assumptions lead to trust violations
• The role of curiosity and vulnerability in navigating difficult topics
• How to co-create boundaries that honor both partners
• Practical tools to protect emotional and sexual connection

Whether you're dating, engaged, or married, these conversations are essential to creating a secure and deeply intimate relationship.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

What happens when one partner wants to end the relationship—and the other doesn’t? 

In this powerful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional heartbreak of surviving unwanted separation and how to begin healing when you're not ready to let go.

💔 Challenges We Explore:

• The shock of being blindsided by a partner’s decision to separate
• Feeling stuck in grief when the relationship still matters to you
• Navigating despair when your partner won’t agree to therapy or discernment counseling
• Managing pressure from friends to “move on” before you’re ready
• Finding the strength to sit with your pain without trying to fix it
  
  

✨ Key Takeaways:

• Welcome grief as a friend—it’s not a weakness, it’s part of healing
• Set emotional boundaries—especially when others push you to move forward too quickly
• Surround yourself with people who can sit in the grief with you
• Trust your body’s process—healing has no set timeline
• You are resilient—and there is hope on the other side of this pain

Whether you’re in the middle of a separation or supporting someone through it, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap for honoring your emotions and beginning the slow, real process of healing.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Divorce is often treated with silence, judgment, and shame—even when it follows years of effort, therapy, and personal growth. 

In this powerful episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the emotional realities of healing from divorce, especially when support from friends, family, or faith communities is missing.

They explore:

• Why grief after separation is valid and necessary
• How to set boundaries with unsupportive people
• The difference between shame and self-compassion
• What it means to trust your inner voice when a relationship ends

Whether you initiated the separation or are navigating unwanted loss, this conversation will help you process the pain, reclaim your worth, and take meaningful steps toward healing.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a topic that resonates deeply with many—people pleasing and the impact on sex. 

Rooted in anxious attachment, people pleasing can show up in the most intimate parts of our relationships, often leading to obligatory sex, disconnection, and resentment.

🎙️ Kim and Kyle unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological effects of prioritizing your partner’s pleasure while ignoring your own needs.

 They challenge outdated cultural, religious, and therapeutic messages that pressure partners—especially women—to perform rather than authentically connect.

Whether you've felt pressure to say yes when you meant no, or you’ve struggled to feel truly desired and safe in your sex life, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and concrete tools to begin rewriting your sexual script.

Key takeaways:

• The emotional toll of performative intimacy
• Why people pleasing often stems from anxious attachment
• How to own your pleasure and communicate it
• The importance of co-creating intimacy rather than complying with pressure
• What to do when cultural or therapeutic messages feel harmful

This is a must-listen for anyone wanting to deepen emotional and physical intimacy in a secure, loving way.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson dive deep into the emotional layers of relationship healing. If you've ever found yourself guarded, even in a secure and loving relationship, you're not alone.

Many of us carry the ghosts of past heartbreak—betrayals, abandonment, and emotional wounds that still shape how we see and respond to love today. We may enter a new, healthy relationship, yet remain stuck in old fear cycles, unintentionally pushing away the very connection we long for.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why past pain shows up in healthy relationships
• How to identify and work through your emotional raw spots
• The power of reassurance and vulnerability with a safe partner
• Why your brain is wired to protect (not connect)
• A simple 3-step script to ask for support without pushing your partner away

Whether you’re recovering from betrayal or just learning to let your guard down, this conversation is filled with actionable insights to help you build deeper trust, connection, and security.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Talking about sex can be one of the most vulnerable conversations in a relationship—especially when desire doesn’t align. 

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, certified sex therapists Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson guide you through the often misunderstood moment when a partner says no to sex—and how to embrace the ‘soft no’ to enhance connection.

You’ll learn:

• How to talk about intimacy in a way that is connecting
• What is a ‘soft no’, and how it can help preserve emotional and physical intimacy
• How focusing on what feels good create a safe space for erotic exploration

If you are wondering how to make sex and intimacy expansive, this episode is for you.

Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.

Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️

Additional Resources for You:

Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!

Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.