Hey Ridley Scott! Think your Gladiator movie was so cool... Well Roast Mortem tells it better. You left out the parts where people drink out of penis cups like they are at a shitty Roman Dick's Last Resort.

We learn what it means to be a gypsy jazz guitar legend... Be extra French, smoke a billion cigarettes, blow off shows to go drunk fishing, and permanently screw up your meat claws in a caravan fire. Worked for Django Reinhardt.

You might know him as the 20 Dollar Bill Boy but in his time he was simply known as President Andrew Jackson. When he wasn't physically stealing other peoples wives, this wacky waving inflatable man was flexing America's Manifest Destiny boner, by systematically destroying native culture and spreading slavery. As his pet parrot would scream during his funeral 'ASSHOLE!'

We take a look behind the scenes at three of the most iconic Hollywood Universal Monsters, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. We'll they weren't the monsters.. actually they kind of were. Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolf Man all in one room with only one cookie. Who will finish last?!

Witches Gone Wild! Matthew Hopkins, self-proclaimed Witch-Finder General, is about to turn your small English village into the hottest satanic spring break ever! The girls are up all night (against their will), ready to show off their hard extra nipples, and getting wet from hours of being dunked underwater for a confession of witchcraft!

Yeah... Hopkins is that kind of zealot monster.

Witchcraft! Clairvoyance! Shoving cheese cloth up your vagina! We're taking an 'in-depth' look at Britain's last witch, Hellish Nell and her stinky, slimy ectoplasmic discharge.

Baseball legend Ty Cobb played a dirty game on and off the diamond. His hobbies included…pistol whipping men to death, picking fights with amputees and digging out viscera from between his cleats. His level of violence really knocked it out of the park.

The father of evolution, Charles Darwin, spent his lifetime laboriously ogling the boobies of the Galapagos and rigorously examining the huge dongs of the promiscuous barnacles.

Martin Luther was the founder of the Protestant Reformation, but between changing minds about the relationship between god and his followers... he was a hemorrhoid-scratching, foul-mouthed hypocrite who’s anti-Semitic fervor would eventually be the foundation of the Holocaust.

Janis Joplin is remembered as the free-loving spirit of the 60s... but in reality, she was a freeloading, needy addict that was always 'too good' for the talented people that surrounded her. If she was so hip and in touch with her generation, why couldn't she write her own lyrics?