ROCK MORNINGS

ROCK MORNINGS

By Brian SimpsonComedyGovernment
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ROCK MORNINGS episodes

  • If you were President, what would be the first thing you'd change at the White House?

    One more day. One more day. One more day.

    Friday is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to doing almost nothing this weekend as we get ready to pack up & head to Cadott next week for Rock Fest.

    We started the show with an update on the search & rescue operations in Texas, some news in the Alan Fry case, suspects in a theft at Butterfest in Sparta have been identified, a cause of death has been revealed for Michael Madsen, a man announces his decision to run for Governor of Wisconsin, and the Wisconsin Elections Commission completes it's investigation into the uncounted ballots in Madison during last year's election.

    In sports, the Brewers walked off the Dodgers for the series sweep, another entry in the upcoming MLB Home Run Derby at the All-Star game…which is apparently going to continue testing the ABS(Automatic Balls & Strikes) system, and the Dallas Wings are moving their upcoming game against the Indiana Fever into a larger arena.

    Elsewhere in sports, Red Bull fires Christian Horner after 20 years, Randy Couture suffered major injuries in racing crash, donations from sports teams are flooding in to help with the recovery efforts & eventual clean-up in Texas, and cycling legend Greg LeMond recently received the Congressional Gold Medal.

    It's "Hypothetical Thursday", and Brian's question for Jean was: "

    Jean's question for Brian was: "

    We let you know what's on TV tonight and we talked to Office Cora to see what she's up to this weekend in the 715!

    Plus, a new way to butter your toast?

    In the "Good News Department", we had a few lifeguards who rushed into the water to save a struggling deer from drowning and/or being eaten by a shark, and an 83 year-old woman with dementia was rescued after wandering off & ending up in a swamp.

    Did you see the video of a drunk idiot on a golf course who picked a fight with the WRONG dude? It was former NHL goon, Nick Tarnasky.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who was getting hundreds of unwanted packages from Amazon over the last year, a cop in Detroit who got caught stealing $600 from a woman while his bodycam was recording, a woman who claims she got a rash on her face after not properly removing her makeup for 22 years, and a guy who climbed out of a grave with a bullet in his head!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 38 min
  • A dream about Brian running away to Canada to avoid a Duran Duran concert.

    Welcome to Wednesday!

    Hump Day means "Workforce Wednesday" and your chance to win freebies from the Sweet Stop & Sandwich Shoppe in Preston. You can always sign up at RockMornings.com.

    In the news this morning, a suspect in a double homicide in the Madison area took his own life after being stopped by authorities, seven people were rescued from the Genoa Lock & Dam earlier this week, Wisconsin reponders & K9 units deploy to Texas to assist in the post-flood search & rescues, more flash flooding is happening in New Mexico, and Elon Musk's AI chatbot went off the rails by praising Hitler.

    In sports, the Brewers beat the Dodgers again last night thanks to a stellar outing from The Miz, Anthony Davis recently had surgery to repair a detached retina, the NHL & it's players agree on a new CBA, SGA is going to be on the cover of NBA 2K26, Joe Burrow talks about his plans to buy one of the Batmobiles, and angry emails about Bill Belichick taking over the football program at UNC are revealed!

    We let you know what's on TV tonight and we also talked about Gary Coleman's ex-wife failing a lie detector.

    Some teens recently saved a woman's life after her lawn mower rolled over & trapped her underneath. And a Firefighter in Canada is recovering after receiving a life-saving liver donation from a colleague.

    We played a round of "Who'd You Rather?" this morning - Look good or feel good?

    Plus, a recent survey revealed that 7% of Americans actually enjoy the humidity. Blech.

    A bowling alley in Pennsylvania is hosting a "Balls Out Bowling" event where clothing is optional, and in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had a #FloridaMan who got methed-up on his birthday…stole a trolley…and picked up a bunch of passengers, a man who tried to help an injured bear got mauled for his trouble, a man walked onto the runway of an Italian airport and killed himself by jumping into a plane's engine, another #FloridaMan attempted to run from authorities by riding on the back of a UPS truck, and a group of people stole a Ronald McDonald statue.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 17 min
  • Bees, bears, lions, chihuahuas...oh my!

    Tuesday is here and there's lots to get to!

    We let you know what's new on DVD for New Release Tuesday, we talked to Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show, and we talked about the latest use for A.I.

    In the news this morning, the latest on the flooding in Texas, an update on the Judge Dugan case, bond is set for Jacob Klaver, the Epstein list apparently doesn't exist, and the TSA is now letting people wear their shoes during check-in.

    In sports, the Brewers beat up the Dodgers last night, a bunch of moves in the NBA, and good news from Dick Vitale!

    Speaking of good news, check out this hiker who was saved with a little help from his dog, a bullied teen got a rather large escort to prom, and a website that helps calm people with cat purring noises.

    Elsewhere in sports, the latest on the upcoming home-run derby at the MLB All-Star game, and have you heard about the Curse of J.K. Simmons?

    In today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a drug dealer who got busted for dealing drugs while in court, a fitness bro who kept working out at a fitness event after his girlfriend passed out, a guy in Wisconsin who tried to flee from the cops by swimming across a lake, a bee attack in France, a pet lion that got loose & attacked some kids, and a family of bears broke into a house & ate a bunch of snacks.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 30 min
  • Live eels in your abdominal cavity...Naps could be dangerous...signs you're a bad boss.

    Welcome back after the holiday weekend!

    Hope you have all your fingers & toes.

    We recapped our 4th of July activities, took a look at what's on TV tonight, and we discussed the deaths of Michael Madsen & Julian McMahon.

    In the news this morning, President Trump announced a possible UFC fight at the White House in 2026, we talked about the flooding in Texas, the WI DNR is asking people to watch out for an invasive species, Costco is recalling a bunch of items, and we talked about the final Black Sabbath show of all time from this past weekend.

    In sports, the Brewers took two out of three from the Marlins this weekend, former White Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks passed away recently, as did former Bruins goon, Lyndon Byers. Also in sports, a recap of the NASCAR races in Chicago this weekend, the Washington Nationals fired their GM & their manager after getting swept by the Red Sox over the holiday, and the USMNT lost to Mexico….AGAIN!

    Great story about some boys who helped save a couple of toddlers that wandered onto the roof of their house, and another great story about a young boy who chased after his dog into the desert but was found by rescuers safe & sound.

    Is your boss an a-hole? Here's six signs that he/she might be!

    We looked a recent list of America's favorite gas station snacks for road trips. Plus, are naps actually bad for you as you get older?

    Obviously, we talked about Joey Chestnut's return to the Nathan's hot dog eating competition on Saturday…and we also had a laugh watching Alvin Kamara's attempt at a first pitch this weekend.

    In today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a #FloridaMan who was the first to break a new law in the state, a woman who was busted trying to steal a bunch of beef tongues, smelly Brazilian butt lifts, a driver who hit everything but the lottery while running from the cops, a flight that had to be diverted because a passenger misinterpreted a text message, and a man in China with a live eel in his bowels!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 23 min
  • Happy 4th of July Eve! 'Murica, bitches!

    The short week comes to an end today with lots of heat and humidity!

    Going to be even hotter tomorrow before finally cooling off on Saturday.

    We started the morning with the OG version of the Thursday Song, and we talked to Office Cora about what she's up to this weekend in the 715.

    In the news this morning, a verdict in the Diddy trial, Bryan Kohberger pleads guilty, Del Monte files for bankruptcy, the latest on the explosion at a fireworks factory in California, an arrest in Winona connected to a homicide in Holmen, and the WI Supreme Court's decision on the 1849 abortion ban.

    In sports, the Brewers got a split yesterday with the Mets, the USMNT got a big win over Guatemala, Clayton Kershaw earned his 3,000th career strikeout, and an update on the condition of Red Panda!

    Elsewhere in sports, a Buffalo Bills draft pick is being accused of sexual assault, NHL players will be allowed to compete in the Olympics, and Sue Bird is getting a statue!

    Heart-warming story about a kitten that was stuck on some train tracks in Alaska, along with an absolutely incredible story about a Holocaust survivor who finally got to meet up with one of the US Veterans who helped to free him 80 years ago.

    Today is "Hypothetical Thursday", and Jean's question for Brian was: "

    Meanwhile, Brian's question for Jean was: "

    Remember the US Sprinter who recently suffered a wardrobe malfunction? Well, he's getting offers from multiple underwear companies for an endorsement deal to help keep his privates in check.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a mom who was feeding her kids edibles, some cocaine that washed up on shore, a naked man who assaulted a few people with a large piece of wood, and a #FloridaMan who threatened to shoot up a McDonald's because they forgot his McNuggets.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 33 min
  • Fireworks names, cities that pay you to move there, and would you visit a real-life Jurassic Park?

    Happy Hump Day, yo!

    Looking forward to heading down to Riverside Park later this morning for the start of RiverFest in La Crosse. Not sure what I'll be eating for lunch, but I'm definitely going home to sit in the AC afterwards.

    We kicked things off this morning with news about a train derailment in Wisconsin, a new budget deal in the state, some of the beaches that are closed for the 4th of July weekend due to high levels of E.coli, an update on the Idaho firefighter shootings, and a wind turbine blade that caused an accident on a highway.

    In sports, the Brew Crew got rained out yesterday, Damian Lillard's time in Milwaukee is over, SGA got a VERY BIG contract extension, and Malik Beasley is in some BIG trouble.

    We let you know what's on the boob tube today, and a new movie is in theaters today as well(Jurassic World: Rebirth). Speaking of dinosaur zoos, would you visit a real-life Jurassic Park if it existed? Plus, the Hallmark Channel's "Christmas In July" starts this weekend if you're interested.

    Since we aren't live on Friday morning, Doc joined us early this week with his Racing Report, thanks to County Materials in Holmen.

    Elsewhere in sports, the Indiana Fever won the WNBA's in-season tournament without Caitlin Clark on the floor last night, Coco Gauff loses in the first round at Wimbledon, and the University of Pennsylvania violated the rights of female athletes.

    Lots of 4th of July stuff this morning including some of the suggested movies to watch over the holiday weekend, some "must-haves" for your backyard BBQ, and a list of the more interesting names for fireworks!

    If you're unhappy with where you live and you're looking to pack up & move somewhere else, check out this list of cities & states that will pay you to move there.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who got pulled over for DUI with over SEVENTY Bud Light empties in his car, a crazy cat lady who left over 100 cats in a UHaul trailer, a #FloridaWoman who locked her two kids in a shed so she could run some errands, a NYC firefighter who is suspended for giving "hot girls" rides on the firetruck, and a 360 square foot "house" in Seattle for sale for $416,000

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 29 min
  • Would you "date" a $90,000 AI girlfriend who speaks four languages & serves coffee?

    What a crazy weekend! It was hot, it rained like crazy yesterday afternoon, and we had a killer time with Drowning Pool & the Texas Hippie Coalition.

    Obviously, we recapped the Big River Rally this morning! Talked about the rides…the bands…the stunt show…the vendors…and what a great time everyone had!

    Also talked about what's on TV today, some 4th of July stats & info, and the return of Paul Walker(RIP) for the final film in the "Fast & Furious" franchise.

    In the news this morning, the latest on the Idaho firefighters who were killed in an ambush, a possible sale of TikTok, the missing boater's body in the WI Dells has been recovered, a machete attack in Arcadia, and a WI man who is going to spend the rest of his life in prison for killing his family.

    In sports, the Brewers fell short of the sweep of the woeful Rockies yesterday, Chase Elliott got the win in Atlanta this weekend, a recap of the main event of UFC 317, and an MLB manager is out for the rest of the season with health concerns.

    Elsewhere in sports, an autographed Michael Jordan card just sold for a record amount of money, Caitlin Clark is a WNBA All Star game captain, and a heart-warming ovation for Ketel Marte in Arizona.

    An apartment building in Cleveland caught fire recently and a couple of Good Samaritans saved a baby after it was dropped out of a third-story window.

    Check out this very emotional video of Meredith Gaudreau announcing the Columbus BlueJackets' pick at the NHL Draft this weekend.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about an ice cream man who got assaulted by some lunatic, a groundskeeper who ran over some fireworks with his mower, a woman who crashed into the back of a cop car after she was distracted by Taco Bell, a #FloridaMan who was doing 115mph while recording a SnapChat video with a baby in the backseat of the vehicle, a woman who swallowed a fish bone that eventually punctured her neck, and a $90,000 AI girlfriend who tracks all your conversations.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 17 min
  • Nose robots, Happy Gilmore meals at Subway, strapped old ladies!

    Yay! It's Friday. There's almost NO rain in the forecast…and the Big River Rally starts later this afternoon!

    Gotta get my friggin' lawn mowed today before anything else.

    On the show today, the latest on the wild weather in the area from the last few days, the woman in Rock County who was the target of an attempted murder, the Blue Angels will be performing this weekend at the Chippewa Valley Air Show, the suspect in the molotov-cocktail attacks in Boulder has been indicted, the wife of the Minnesota lawmaker shooting suspect speaks, and the latest on the Joe Rogan/Liver King beef.

    In sports, the Brewers start a three-game series against the Rockies tonight, John Tonje got picked by the Jazz last night in the NBA Draft, Justin Tucker has been suspended by the NFL, and Wander Franco has been found guilty of sexual abuse in the Dominican Republic.

    Elsewhere in sports, Jim Ross announces that he's 100% cancer-free, and the back-up performer from the Super Bowl halftime show who waved a flag as protest in support of Sudan and Gaza has been arrested.

    We let you know what's on TV this weekend and what's new in theaters. Plus, Doc joined us just after 8am for his weekly Racing Report, thanks to County Materials in Holmen.

    Cute video of a bride & groom who played Rock/Paper/Scissors at the altar to determine who was taking the other's last name. And in other feel-good news, check out this 12 year-old who saved his family from a fire…and this 12 year-old who decided to help shelter animals by playing music for them!

    In the future, you could be snorting tiny nose-robots to help with your blocked sinuses.(no thanks!)

    We also discussed the newest drink from Dunkin' Donuts that's getting some flack online, and Subway officially teams up with Happy Gilmore for a meal deal!

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a #FloridaCop who resigned after he got caught stealing someone's wallet during a traffic stop, an idiot TikToker who thinks you get better mileage if you pump gas slowly, an old woman sitting in a chair in the middle of a highway with a gun, a lifeguard who got impaled by a beach umbrella, TSA reminding morons that their Waffle House ID doesn't work at the airport, and a jewelry store manager who stole a bunch of product and was caught because she posted selfies on social media while wearing the stuff she took.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 28 min
  • If you came with a warning label...what would it say?

    Holy crap! Did you see any major damage in your neighborhood yesterday during those storms?

    You can send us pics & videos by clicking the "submit" button on the free 95.7 The Rock app! Try it out!

    Today, more rain in the forecast, however, it isn't supposed to be as severe as yesterday's weather.

    In the news this morning, a former Polk County doctor is charged with child enticement, a man who was found guilty of setting wildfires in Jackson County gets sentenced, the Liver King kinda went off the deep end yesterday, and two men in Eau Claire have been charged with multiple child sex assaults.

    In sports, the "Thriller At Miller" didn't really live up to the hype…but the Brew Crew got the win! Round 1 of the NBA Draft was last night, an MLB fan has been banned indefinitely for some rather inappropriate comments directed at a player, Evander Kane is on the move, the NHL Hall Of Fame class got announced, and the NHL is also looking at expanding it's schedule.

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight, and we spoke with Office Cora about what she's doing this weekend in the 715. Also, have you heard the news about Steve from "Blues Clues"?

    While Brian many lament the effectiveness of his Little Free Library in his front yard, there's no doubt that this Free Dog Library is working for this community! Plus, a missing wedding ring is found thanks to a diver who spent two days underwater looking for it!

    On Hypothetical Thursday, Brian asked Jean: "If you had to wear a warning label, what would it say?"

    And Jean's question for Brian was: " "

    Elsewhere in sports, Luis Rubiales lost his appeal in Spain's high court, a Baltimore Ravens player didn't go back into a game last season because he was too cold, and a former NASCAR owner has passed away.

    A new TikTok trend is one that Brian can actually get behind, and how many bruises/scrapes/cuts do you think you'll have in your lifetime?

    In today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who robbed a convenience store while wearing a Scooby Doo costume, a police officer who could lose his job after farting in a coworker's face, a dude in MN with a crazy name who was high AF on mushrooms, a man in China who swallowed a toothbrush 52 years ago and just had it removed from his intestines, and dangerous cans of Ecto-Cooler.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 26 min
  • Feng Shui your night stand. Earn more money than Elon. Strippers at graduation.

    More rain likely today…looks like sometime around 11am it should start coming down.

    We began the morning with the latest news on Iran, a story about a music festival where over 150 people in the crowd were poked by a needle, road buckles in Wisconsin, a new date for a human trafficking trial, and the Wisconsin Supreme Court's ruling on PFAs.

    In sports, the Brewers beat the Pirates last night, Aaron Rodgers confirms that this is likely his final season in the NFL, ESPN announced this year's host of the ESPY Awards, the Celtics made another trade of a high-profile player, and the sale of the Timberwolves is official!

    Elsewhere in sports, Khris Middleton is getting PAID, a bettor wagered $8 million on the NBA Finals, and Tyrese Haliburton posted an update after surgery.

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight, we talked about some of the things you shouldn't keep next to your bed, and we had a couple of feel-good stories about a UPS driver who got to say goodbye to a couple of dogs on his route, and a parasailer who saved a kayaker's life!

    A few "Did You Know" stories…including one about Elon's money and another about Close Encounters.

    In today's "Friggin' Sports", a runner had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction.

    And during today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who got stuck in a chimney, an update on the Looney Tunes guy, a #FloridaMan who shot at a customer in his convenience store when they complained about the price of beer, a snake that got into a power substation and caused a blackout, and a kid in Thailand who got some strippers at his graduation.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 25 min

About ROCK MORNINGS

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Also heard live from 6-9am on 95.7 THE ROCK in La Crosse, WI WRQT and 92.9 THE X in Eau Claire, WI WECL Brian Simpson - Jean Taylor - Scott Robert Shaw