ROCK MORNINGS

ROCK MORNINGS

By Brian SimpsonComedyGovernment
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ROCK MORNINGS episodes

  • You didn't win the Mega-Millions, and neither did we.

    Welcome to hump day!

    Started the morning with a recap of last night's Trump/Harris debate and a look at last night's Brewer win over the Giants.

    Former Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is in big financial trouble, and has been ordered to turn over a bunch of his assets to help get him out of debt.

    Let you know what's on TV tonight, and we dreamed about what we'd do with the $800+ million someone in Houston just won with Mega-Millions!

    Nice story about a woman in Alabama who got pulled over by a cop a few years ago & used it as a positive way to change her life.

    September is "National Preparedness Month", and a new poll asked people, "What's the first thing you'd grab in an emergency?"

    Apparently, Stephen A. Smith is looking to join the MNF countdown crew on ESPN, and Jack's American Pub on Brady St. in Milwaukee is again offering a free bar tab during the NFL season when the Jets lose.

    Played another round of "You're killin' me, Shaws" for some of Brian's morning-show money & Jim from West Salem guessed correctly!(it was from "Meet the Parents").

    How did the Packers rate in a recent study on the most expensive tailgates in the NFL?

    And during today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a congressional candidate that does bong rips in her commercial, a rundown of some of the odd room service requests that people make at hotels, a prison in Detroit that wasn't really ready to be open yet, a dead body was discovered in the catering oven of a hospital, a kid won a kicking competition but didn't get the prize he was promised, a firefighter in Chile that was setting fires so he could be a "hero", a guy in Canada who was setting off explosives to get views on social media, and a couple of twins who got mixed up at birth.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 28 min
  • Your fitness tracker isn't all that accurate.

    Shaw is back after a long, birthday weekend…and we started the morning with the sad news that James Earl Jones passed away at the age of 93.

    Looked ahead to tonight's Trump/Harris debate on ABC, and we also let you know what's new on New Release Tuesday.

    Recapped last night's Niners/Jets game and talked about the Tyreek Hill bodycam footage from his detainment on Sunday.

    Did you see the Governor of NH save a choking man at a lobster roll eating competition? Dude got the food dislodged and went right back to it!

    Today is "National TV Dinner Day" and also "World Suicide Prevention Day". If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the 988 suicide & crisis lifeline.

    Discussed Tom Brady's debut in the booth during the Cowboys game on Sunday afternoon, and ICYMI, there's going to be a new Aaron Rodgers docu-series on Netflix in December.

    Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show joined us to talk about last week's Packer game in Brazil, and we also talked about fitness trackers not being 100% accurate.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about the best countries in the world, a wildfire that was accidentally set by a crew that was supposed to help prevent wildfires, another death in the Grand Canyon, a guy who was taking too much free nacho cheese from a convenience store, a candy corn-themed hotel room, a guy who was stealing traffic cameras, a #FloridaWoman who was bitten by a gator, and a guy in India who performed surgery on a kid while watching a YouTube video about performing surgery.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 35 min
  • What day of the week would you take off if you had a four-day work week?

    Here comes that heat again!

    Going to be in the mid-to-upper 80's all week long!

    Shaw took an extra day off to properly celebrate his birthday, so Brian & Jean had to manage without him.

    Talked about the latest development in the Elijah Vue case, and about the Jordan Love injury on Friday.

    Recapped all this weekend's NFL action on & off the field, including the Tyreek Hill situation.

    Had a nice story about a dog that got rescued after being spotted with a plastic jug on it's head.

    And speaking of dogs, we took a look at a recent study that determined which NFL stadiums charged the most & least for a beer & a hot dog.

    Even though he wasn't in the newsroom this morning, we still heard from Shaw during today's "Monday Morning Throwback".

    A recent poll asked people which day of the week they'd take off if their job went to a four-day work week.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about flaming bird carcasses starting wildfires, a person who sneezed out a LEGO piece that had been stuck in their nose for 25 years, a psycho who shipped himself to an ex's house, and another idiot who put his loaded gun in the oven.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 30 min
  • Gimme some of that Mega-Millions money!

    And that's a wrap on the short week.

    We kicked things off with the latest news on the Georgia school shooting, and we also talked about the big news from Linkin Park.

    Discussed the wild finish to last night's NFL season opener between the Chiefs & the Ravens…and speaking of the Chiefs, we also talked the Chiefs-A-Holic idiot who just got sentenced for all those bank robberies.

    Let you know what's in theaters this weekend, and had a couple of animal stories this morning…one involving a dead cat that wasn't actually dead yet, and a bear cub that went for a ride in a van while enjoying some Taco Bell.

    It's "National Read A Book Day", and Brian ranted about how different "Jaws" the book was from the movie.

    Did you see the trailer for the Kansas City Chiefs/Hallmark Channel movie?

    And if you didn't get enough Joey Chestnut on Netflix last weekend, he's going to be appearing during halftime of the Bengals/Patriots game on Sunday.

    The Mega-Millions jackpot is getting up there again, and we had Tom from Cashton text in asking for our suggestion on which numbers he should pick.

    Doc joined us to talk NASCAR racing, and during today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about the states that are the most fun, a major PFA spill, Charles Barkley donating a bunch of money, some stolen collectibles, the speed limit in California, a guy who did a LOT of nitrous oxide, and another HOA that's making a guy's life miserable.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 36 min
  • Nearly half of all Americans are hoarders. Nasty, disgusting hoarders.

    The short week continues with the Pat McCurdy version of the "Thursday Song" as he'll be playing at the Alpine Inn tonight starting at 7pm.

    The news this morning dominated by the tragedy in Georgia with updates from Shaw throughout the show.

    We talked about yesterday's Brewers loss, and the start of week 1 in the NFL tonight. Also, Caitlin Clark messed around & got a triple-double last night, and the viral Olympic break-dancer has once again apologized for her performance.

    Nice story about a kitten that went for quite the ride in a vehicle's wheel well before being found & adopted...and pit bull that was finally adopted after spending almost four years at a shelter in DC. And a GoFundMe for Matthew Gaudreau's wife & their unborn child has far surpassed it's original goal.

    A woman in Ohio is getting complaints from her neighbors after putting her elaborate Halloween decorations up early this year, and an electronics store in the UK is going viral for their Gen-Z commercial.

    Talked about some Alexa devices answering questions about the upcoming Presidential election, and also talked about a recent study that found that nearly 50% of Americans are hoarders!

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy with a homemade flamethrower in Vegas, a drone that interrupted a med-link flight, a crash involving two drunk drivers, a surgeon that mistakenly removed a man's liver instead of his spleen, a driver who was punched for complimenting another driver's car, a stroke victim that was found dead in a closet at the rehab facility, a toddler on a plane that was locked in a bathroom after crying non-stop, and a flight from Boston to Rome that had to be turned around after someone got really bad diarrhea.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 30 min
  • I'm never letting a doctor stick a needle in my penis.

    Happy Hump Day, yo!

    On a short week, no less.

    Started the morning off by talking about 10-4 being the new 9-5…and a couple of companies are popping up that will apparently quit your job for you.

    Talked about the Brewers extra-inning loss to the Cardinals last night, and a classy move by the Montreal Canadiens' Cole Caufield for the upcoming NHL season.

    Funny story about a pig on the loose that was finally captured after some residents teamed up with the animal rescue team. Plus, a homeless busker in England who went viral for his performance of "Sultans of Swing" just got a sizeable donation to help him find a place to live, and a bowling team in Kentucky who just set a world record AND raised a bunch of money for cancer research.

    With the new Beetlejuice movie coming out this week, we took a look at some facts about the original film that you may not know about.

    Played another round of "You're Killin' Me, Shaws" this morning and Tyler from La Crosse guessed correctly & won $20 of Brian's Morning-show money!(it was from "PCU")

    In case you missed it, Caitlin Clark & the Indiana Fever have made the WNBA playoffs, and we also ran down a list of the most valuable NFL franchises.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about the record-breaking heat in Vegas this summer, a rattlesnake that got into a couple's house & trapped them in the upstairs bedrooms, a woman who caused a multi-vehicle crash while using the self-driving option, a man who set fire to his girlfriend's parents' house, a nurse who was replacing patients' fentanyl with tap water, a doctor who was injecting a serum in the penis of multiple patients, a drunk driver that crashed into a cop that had pulled over ANOTHER drunk driver, one of the 1,000lb sisters got busted at a zoo, and a guy who stole a vehicle from a library to drive to the police station to ask for his drugs back.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 22 min
  • Shaw is retiring.

    Welcome back after the long weekend!

    We all recapped our Labor Day activities, and talked about yesterday's Netflix special: "Unfinished Beef. Chestnut vs. Kobayashi". And speaking of consuming mass quantities, did you hear about the dude from Michigan who chugged 24 ounces of ranch dressing in TEN seconds???

    There was a shooting this weekend in La Crosse, and the Brewers stayed hot by winning six of their last seven games.

    Let you know what's new on New Release Tuesday and we had an absolutely wonderful story about a father who recorded an interview with his daughter on the first day of school each & every year. Plus, the kid who broke a 3,500 year old jug at a museum was just invited back & took a special tour.

    A website is looking for a "Pumpkin Spice Pundit" to sample & rate all the Trader Joe's pumpkin-flavored products this season.

    Major announcement this morning: Shaw is retiring. Sad day for us, but happy for the little guy.

    Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show joined us to talk about the Brewers, Packers & Badgers.

    And during today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about the Disney & Direct TV outage over the weekend, another update on the Belltown Hellcat guy, a couple that survived a mudslide in Alaska, a grizzly bear attack, the knocking sound in outerspace, a guy who ruined a covered bridge in Maine, and a guy who keeps pooping on someone's porch.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 35 min
  • Get fancy and drink some GatorWine this Labor Day weekend!

    Hello Friday! Hello long, holiday weekend!

    Speaking of the holiday, we hooked you up with some Labor Day stats & info, and we took a look ahead with our list of "Things to look forward to in the month of September"!

    Talked about the Brewers 6-0 shutout yesterday, and the crushing loss for the Golden Gophers last night. Plus, Jack Del Rio is joining the Badger staff as they get ready to take on Western Michigan tonight.

    We got Doc on the phone for this week's Racing Report, including the changes to next year's NASCAR schedule. Speaking of Doc, he texted in earlier in the show to remind us that "Mr. McMahon" is going to be premiering on Netflix in September.

    Let you know what's in theaters & on the boob-tube this weekend.

    Had a really uplifting story about a lemonade stand that was robbed by some scumbag, only to have the community show up in droves to help those poor kids out.

    Absolutely tragic news this morning as NHL player Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew were killed in NJ last night.

    Have you tried GatorWine yet? Maybe it can make an appearance at your Labor Day BBQ?

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about the rain totals in the area after last night's storms, a granny that got lost in the Alps & befriended a fox, a woman in Iowa City who showed up at her mom's house & attempted to shoot her mother's boyfriend, a pilot who had to make an emergency landing on a highway and then got hit by a car after he exited the plane, an update on that kid who had an ice cream stand that got shut down because a neighbor complained, a teen in Jamaica who was decapitated by a shark, another update on the astronauts stuck in space, and a guy who fell asleep in his driverless car with a bunch of drugs in his possession.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 25 min
  • You ever have sex in a car?

    Thursday song to kick things off this morning, and the big news of the day is Trump's visit to La Crosse.

    If you've got an extra $40k kicking around, you can bid on this sweet coffin cooler from Liquid Death & Yeti!

    Talked about the Brewers win over the Giants last night, and the weekend of NCAA football action ahead.

    Hawk Tuah girl is back in the news with a brand-new phrase, and apparently...other "influencers" on TikTok are using garlic to try & cure their acne.

    Cat in Canada ended up on top of a utility pole but was saved by a guy with a bucket truck, and Amazon has teamed up with the YMCA in San Francisco to provide a free grocery store for some of their students and families.

    Let you know what's on TV today & talked about last night's Shohei Ohtani bobblehead giveaway at the Dodger game.

    Another TikToker went viral with her break-down of her friends' personality types, and ESPN conducted a poll recently to determine the most overrated QBs in the league.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a steak knife fight at an up-scale restaurant, a guy who got stung over 200 times by a swarm of wasps, a bald eagle that couldn't fly because it ate too much, a kid that broke a 3,500 year-old jug at a museum, an Uber driver that threw a brick at a family that gave him a 1-star review, an SUV that ended up in a river because the occupants were "getting busy", a Canadian firefighter that was intentionally setting fires, a doctor that doused his former office with urine on several occasions, and a guy who got poop sent to him in the mail.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 31 min
  • Are you Team Venmo Mom?

    What would you do if you went hiking for a team-building exercise with 14 of your coworkers and they LEFT YOU on the mountain after you got lost?

    Christian Yelich spoke to the media for the first time since having back surgery, and we also discussed the Packer cut-down day.

    Let you know what's on TV tonight and we had a touching story about a young girl in Texas who's been battling cancer since she was two years old, and is now going to see Taylor Swift thanks to donations from random strangers.

    Talked about the viral VenMo Mom who refuses to help at her kid's school, but will donate money via VenMo.

    Played another round of "You're Killin' Me, Shaws" for $10 of Brian's Morning-show money & Shaw (it was from "Tropic Thunder")

    ICYMI, the Packers are offering standing-room only tickets for this season's regular-season games, and during today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who got really drunk before a job interview, one of the cops who arrested Scottie Scheffler, an update on the lady who jumped into a tiger cage at a zoo, a Pinocchio horror movie, a kid who went missing was found on the roof of his building, a brain surgeon who let his 13 year-old daughter drill into someone's head, and an off-duty police officer who peed on someone at a Kenny Chesney show.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 27 min

About ROCK MORNINGS

From the publisher's feed

Also heard live from 6-9am on 95.7 THE ROCK in La Crosse, WI WRQT and 92.9 THE X in Eau Claire, WI WECL Brian Simpson - Jean Taylor - Scott Robert Shaw