ROCK MORNINGS

ROCK MORNINGS

By Brian SimpsonComedyGovernment
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ROCK MORNINGS episodes

  • No Jean. No Shaw. Just Brian. Ugh.

    No Jean. No Shaw. No problem!

    Brian had the show to himself this morning as Jean's still on vacation in DC, and Shaw took the day off.

    Talked about Biden's speech last night, and the deadly plane crash in Nepal…where everyone on the plane died EXCEPT the pilot.

    Also, a major fire at a tequila plant in Mexico killed five workers & seriously injured a few others…and is likely going to effect the price of tequila in the near future.

    The Brew Crew took two out of three from the Cubs this week, but lost Yelich to the IL, and Angel Reese has joined the new "Unrivaled" 3-on-3 league that starts this January.

    Today is National Wine & Cheese Day…and more importantly, it's National Hire A Veteran Day!

    Had a nice story about a missing chihuahua that was living on the streets of Las Vegas for NINE years before being caught & reunited with it's original owner.

    Sadly, the NBA decided to go with Disney, NBC, & Amazon Prime rather than stick with Warner Bros. Discovery…so no more "NBA on TNT" after next season.

    Esquire magazine recently put out a list of the "Top 50 Songs of the 90's" and we debated that this morning.

    A couple of wild stories from the Olympics…one involving the Canadian Women's Soccer team…and the other involving a dressage rider who whipped a horse.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a Tesla that got damaged by a fish that fell from the sky, a convenience store clerk that stole a $1 million winning scratch-off ticket, a couple of idiots in Kentucky who got busted after posting about their drug operation on TikTok, and a former administrative assistant at a church in Alabama that got caught embezzling over $300,000 to buy gifts for TikTokers.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 11 min
  • There's some wild SH!T in the ocean.

    Hump Day!

    Lots to get to this morning, including the news that Snoop Dogg will be a torch-bearer during the opening ceremonies of the Paris Olympics!

    Also talked about Kamala Harris' stop in Milwaukee yesterday and her potential running mates.

    The Brew Crew got a win against the Cubs last night, but Yelich might end up on the IL.

    Have you seen the video the whale that capsized a boat off the coast of NH??? Wild stuff!

    There's a guy in Scotland who built a bicycle/canoe and is planning on traveling across Scotland to raise money & awareness for a charity called "A Leg To Stand On".

    In case you missed it, today is "National Tequila Day", so we took a look at a recent poll about tequila & margaritas.

    Cool move by the Vikings this upcoming season as the honor their fourth-round draft pick, Khyree Jackson.

    Gave away $30 of Brian's Morning-Show money playing "You're Killin' Me, Shaws" thanks to Pasture Pride Cheese in Cashton to Kevin in Onalaska. He guessed correctly!

    Crazy story about an Australian field hockey player who had part of his broken finger amputated so he could participate in the Paris Olympics!

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy's leg washing up on shore in Australia after a shark bit it off, a guy in Vegas who walked up to a stranger in broad daylight & shot him in the chest, a 500-acre wildfire that was caused by illegal use of fireworks, a guy who ripped the head off a seagull for stealing fries, and a woman who attacked her fiancé & his brother after the groom-to-be asked for a pre-nup!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 23 min
  • How in the hell did your nipple fall off?

    Woke up to some rain this morning and might see some more tonight.

    Started the morning with news about the Vice President coming to Wisconsin today on the campaign trail, and Shaw shared a positive update on his personal life!

    We let you know what's new on New Release Tuesday and we also talked to Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show.

    Packers QB Jordan Love isn't going to practice until he gets a new deal from the team, and former Packer, Davante Adams, is looking to get TB12 out of retirement to quarterback the Raiders!

    Riding on the instant success of "Twisters" hitting theaters, the Hollywood Reporter put out a list of the Top 11 Disaster Movies of all time.

    Great story about a K9 Officer in North Carolina that helped a nonverbal boy find his way home after he got lost.

    Have you seen these new vape pens that are also disposable, and also function as a phone & a fitness tracker?

    The Paris Olympics get started later this week and a diver from the UK is testing the "anti-sex" beds to make sure they'll be able to fornicate while in France.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about those pesky political texts, a woman who called 911 HUNDREDS of times, a dead hiker in Peru was discovered 22 years after being buried in an avalanche, a guy who got shot in the chest after drunkenly showing off his guns to his buddy, a Vegas escort who robbed a guy after having sex with him, a Karen that got upset about a missing chicken strip at a Jack-in-the-Box, a Southwest Airline flight that flew just 150 above the ground, an extreme eater who died while live-streaming, and a bride-to-be that had breast augmentation surgery right before her wedding…only to lose a nipple!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 31 min
  • Brian's back. Jean is gone. Travel woes continue!

    After a week in NH, Brian is back and now Jean is gone!

    She'll be in Washington D.C. with her family for the rest of the week.

    We started things off with the big news from yesterday about President Biden bowing out of the upcoming Presidential race against Donald Trump.

    And we recapped the Brewers/Nascar/Team USA action from the past weekend as well.

    Great story about some firefighters in Texas who rescued a family's dog & cat from a house fire that was all caught on camera.

    Have you heard about "Fluffy Coke"? It's apparently a new TikTok trend involving Coca-Cola & Marshmallow fluff.

    This week's "Monday Morning Throwback" was a story from 2017 about mancations.

    Speaking of Nascar, Jimmie Johnson got behind the wheel at the Brickyard 400 yesterday, but also teamed up with Carvana to benefit and Indy-area technical high school!

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories abouta woman who tried to dine-and-dash but forgot her purse in the restaurant, a guy in Maine who shot a teenager that played ding-dong-dash at his house, a bull in South Carolina that got loose & ended up in someone's yard, an oil tanker in Malaysia that was involved in a hit-&-run, someone brought a jar of salsa to a pool in Massachusetts & it shattered, a couple in Kuwait that got divorced three minutes after they got married, a giant metal rooster that got stolen ended up in a homeless encampment, a guy got rescued from a pipe with no recollection of how he got there, and a vice Mayor had their house vandalized with Teenie-Weenies.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 24 min
  • Simpson's Skip Day!

    Another Thursday in the books & Brian is off to Eau Claire for "Simpson's Skip Day" at the EC Express game, followed by a party bus to a couple of bars & breweries.

    Jean suggested that he stay in the Eau Claire area to see Ludacris at the State Fair, which led to us talking about Nelly being at Country Boom!

    Talked about the shake-up on the US Men's basketball team and a massive brawl after a soccer match.

    Funny story about a woman who jumped into a river to save a bunny.

    Yesterday was Pina Colada day, and today is National Mojito Day!

    This is apparently the "Summer of Bill". Belichick, that is.

    Cute video of a dog at a Met's game that was enjoying a hot dog.

    Are you mowing incorrectly? Maybe folding the laundry wrong?

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about being exhausted all the time, people leaving used toilet paper in Yosemite, a guy who got busted for stealing a truck, an update on a couple of women who used a dead guy to take money out of the ATM, a man in North Dakota that was killed by a bowling alley, a Camaro got wrecked on a "test ride", a woman who decided to pump gas while getting pulled over for a DUI, a bunch of eels ended up on the runway at an airport, and a house caught right in the middle of two separate HOA's.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 29 min
  • A margarita butt-chug on Pina Colada Day!

    Happy Pina Colada Day!

    Perfect weather for an ice cold one on a patio somewhere.

    We started things off with an update on the HAWK TUAH girl!

    Talked a bit about the Brett Favre/Shannon Sharpe lawsuit situation and Giannis playing for Greece in the upcoming Olympics.

    There's apparently a new fastest mermaid in the world.

    Have you heard about Michelle Rohl?? The granny from WI who almost qualified for the Olympics? Pretty cool story.

    Played another round of "You're Killin' Me, Shaws" for some of Brian's Morning-Show money. Eric guessed incorrectly, so it'll be $20 next week!

    Cool story about an Iowa State Rep who dusted off his cleats & got back in the game at the age of 44!

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about guilt-tipping, a man who got killed by an elephant stampede, a teen who broke out of a juvenile detention center & tried to blend in as a carnival worker to escape capture, Steve-O from Jackass is apparently getting a boob job, an aviation mechanic that got sucked into a jet engine, a guy who got arrested after robbing a pet store, a man in Iowa who committed a solo sex act at a Kum-N-Go, a couple that did something VERY unusual with a margarita at a Mexican restaurant, and a power company that wants to control your thermostat.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 28 min
  • There's NO WAY Elton John peed in a bottle in a sneaker store.

    Hello!!

    On the show today, we let you know what's new on "New Release Tuesday" and we also talked to Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show.

    Some medical students are going to be enjoying some free tuition thanks to a BILLION dollar donation, and a cool story about an intervention specialist at an elementary school who also cuts the kids' hair for free.

    Had a "Karen of the Day" along with a "Kyle of the Day"!

    Bengals' QB Joe Burrow found an interesting way to help rehab from his wrist injury last season, a Tour de France cyclist got fined for kissing his wife during the race, and a recent poll about "Midwest Nice" revealed that most people in the Midwest apologize for stuff when they've done absolutely nothing wrong.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a Scottish woman who tattooed her PIN number on her leg, a #FloridaMan who dropped a toddler out of a second-floor window, a man in Massachusetts who was saved by a stranger at a recent Rolling Stones show, a new way of dealing with gnats, a cat who had it's eyes sealed shut with a glue-like substance, a couple who tried to dine & dash from a restaurant, and Elton John supposedly peed in a bottle at a sneaker store in France.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 32 min
  • Shaw may have his house paid off, but he doesn't have central AC.

    After a couple of extra days off for the 4th of July holiday, we're back in the studio for a full FIVE days of work.

    Ugh.

    We recapped our Independence Day weekends, talked about Danny Trejo's 4th of July incident, and also discussed the Pittsburgh Pirates…who ran out of fireworks over the weekend!

    Got an update on John Force and looked at the new TikTok sensation, "Scrambled Pancakes".

    Crazy story about a high school kid who saved a bunch of kids & also jumped onto a runaway boat to stop it from potentially doing more damage.

    ICYMI, John Cena announced he's retiring from the WWE.

    This week's "Monday Morning Throwback" was our 2015 interview with Corky Gainsford, the former drummer for Otherwise.

    Here's six passive/aggressive phrases you should stop saying!

    During today's birthday segment, we also brought up the story about Kevin Bacon donning a disguise so he could mingle with the rest of us.

    New study says that where you keep your thermostat at during the summer months depends on where you grew up.

    Cool story about Aaron Rodgers helping a community affected by wildfires.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a shooting at a food-donation drive, a man who got stuck on a mountain in Utah after he followed his GPS, a flash-robbery at a gas station in LA, a massive brawl on a flight over switching seats, a couple of 4th of July fireworks mishaps, some teens who had to be rescued after they allegedly had a run-in with Bigfoot, and a guy who set a couple of Guinness World Records with his eye sockets.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 36 min
  • Mom & Dad fight about hot dog boards.

    Happy 4th of July eve!

    Is that a 'thing'?

    Well, it is now.

    We started things off with an update on the weather & the conditions at this week's Riverfest, and Brian cautiously tried Jean's cold, peanut noodle salad.

    No big surprise, but Caitlin Clark & Angel Reese both made the WNBA All-Star roster, and the NHL recently reinstated several people that were involved in the sexual assault investigation of the Chicago Blackhawks in 2021.

    Got some more 4th of July stuff, including the most important thing at a cookout, and whether or not Americans should get the entire week off from work.

    We talked about a couple that's trying to visit every single Texas Roadhouse in the country, and a woman in MN who's befriended a sunfish.

    Let you know what's on TV and what's new in theaters for the holiday, and we played "You're Killin' Me, Shaws" for $10 of Brian's morning-show money. It was a scene from "ID4" and Shaw ACED IT!

    Had a MAJOR disagreement this morning in regards to a "hot dog board". Jean's planning on making one for her 4th of July get-together, and Brian is making something similar, but got very upset about it being called a "board"

    Talked racing with Doc today since we'll be out on Friday, and we also talked about the Detroit Tigers broadcaster who's under investigation for sexual assault.

    During today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a bridge on the Blue Earth River that's in extreme danger because of the recent flooding, a woman who called 911 and faked a child abduction so they'd try to recover her car faster, Presidential candidate RFK might have eaten a barbecued dog, a wedding reception that ended with the groom being shot, a woman who assaulted her significant other with a smart watch, another woman who mistook a grenade for a hammer for TWENTY YEARS, a fight on a golf course, and a sweet UFO-car!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 30 min
  • 4th of July hot dog stuff.

    Today is essentially "Hump Day" as we're off on Thursday & Friday this week.

    So let's get over the hump with what's new on New Release Tuesday, and a very in-depth update on the Hawk Tuah Girl, including her run-in with Shaq over the weekend, her appearance on a recent podcast, and a guy who wants her to spit in a jar for $600.

    Talked about the start of NBA & NHL free agency, and the wild news about the Celtics being for sale just days after winning the franchise's 18th title.

    Nice move by MrBeast, who just helped build 100 homes for impoverished people in Jamaica, El Salvador, & Argentina.

    Today is "Made in the USA Day", and "World UFO Day", and to celebrate, Subway stores around the US are using drones to deliver foot-longs to hungry customers.

    Obviously, the 4th of July is coming up later this week, so we took a look at some stats & info on the holiday, including the kinds of hot dogs we're Googling.

    Looks like former #1 NFL draft pick, Jamarcus Russell, is in some deep shit.

    Talked with Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show, and during today's "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a cafe owner that had to close because of her neighbors complaining about the smell of Bacon, a guy who robbed a couple in Hawaii & then chased them up a volcano, a guy who blew off a bunch of his fingers with some fireworks, a guy in a cemetery in Maine who was smashing turtles, a #FloridaWoman who wanted to cuddle with her boyfriend, and an airplane that experienced some serious turbulence.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 33 min

About ROCK MORNINGS

From the publisher's feed

Also heard live from 6-9am on 95.7 THE ROCK in La Crosse, WI WRQT and 92.9 THE X in Eau Claire, WI WECL Brian Simpson - Jean Taylor - Scott Robert Shaw