Rock-n-Roll Autopsy

The boys hide a stiff sock under the mattress, lament mistreating ex-girlfriends, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Alanis Morissette’s 1995 post-grunge hit, “You Oughta Know.”

The boys suffer from beer induced erectile dysfunction, rewatch Eraserhead, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Dead Kennedys’ 1981 party-rock mock anthem, “Too Drunk to Fuck.”

The boys lament the loss of legacy media, celebrate the consistent mediocrity of Brook Jacoby, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Tom Petty’s 2002 corporate radio critique, “The Last DJ.”

The boys take their dreams of stardom to Hollywood, bat cleanup for Tony Danza, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of System of a Down’s 2005 La-la land twin lament, “Old School Hollywood” and “Lost in Hollywood.”

The boys age out of the 27 Club, eat cheeseburgers with Gene Simmons, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Pretty Reckless’ 2021 requiem for fallen rockers, “Rock and Roll Heaven.”

The boys party like lawless, pillaging vikings, get overly sentimental about the banalities of home, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Motley Crue’s 1985 power ballad prototype, “Home Sweet Home.”

The boys hurl gobs of spit at each other, have an unnecessarily convoluted debate about rock fan boundaries, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Pink Floyd’s 1979 art rock opera, “In the Flesh?.”

The boys cannibalize the blues, ad-lib an orgasm, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Led Zeppelin’s 1969 hard rock classic, “Whole Lotta Love.”

The boys grease up their devilocks, kill a couple of babies, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Misfits’ 1980 horror punk shocker, “Last Caress.”

The boys demand respect from two-faced friends, make manly music mainstream, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Pantera’s 1992 groove metal classic, “Walk.”