The boys enthusiastically give Oasis the adoration that they deserve, work a side hustle on Howard St., and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Police’s 1978 reggae rocker, “Roxanne.” News items and digressions include Oasis’s decision to decline dynamic tickets and iconic rock ‘n roll hairdos.

The boys spend old age fighting on stage, lament being single while going solo, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Phil Collins’ 1980 synth-pop hit, “In the Air Tonight.” News items and digressions include REO Speedwagon, Jane’s Addiction, Iron Maiden, and an asteroid induced end to civilization.

The boys debate the importance of making records with new members, embrace wide-eyed individualism with breakthrough commercialism, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Rush’s 1981 classic, “Tom Sawyer.” News items and digressions include bands continuing on after death and dynamic ticket pricing.

The boys incur unpaid debt from Richard Pryor, manufacture pop stardom with credible friends, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Eddie Murphy’s 1985 career crossover hit, “Party All the Time.” News items and digressions include the Oasis reunion, 80s playground bullying, and heavy metal nerdiness.

The boys (minus one) welcome wise music swami and prolific author extraordinaire, Martin Popoff into the lab to discuss his latest Iron Maiden Album by Album hardcover book. News items and digressions include Rock and Roll Hall of Fame elitism, the pros and cons of heavy metal branding, and a Johnny Rotten-less Sex Pistols reunion.

The boys get weepy when young locals play thrash, wear black hoods while adopting evil aliases, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Midnight’s 2022 slice of black metal sleaze, “Szex Witchery.” News items and digressions include Cleveland’s local metal scene, illegible death metal logos, and unintentional laughter in the face of onstage evil.

The boys practice satanism for publicity, abandon melody for lyrical redundancy, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Billy Joel’s 1989 historical harangue, “We Didn't Start the Fire.” News items and digressions include Gojira’s satanic Olympic opening, top five heavy metal moments, and cyclical generational archetypes.