The boys flip through sticky magazines, discover their high school crush posing for glossy smut, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of J. Geils Band’s 1981 hit, “Centerfold.” News items and digressions include Vince Neil’s stroke and Mötley Crüe’s backing track bickering.

The boys trade cowbells for coat hangers, laugh through campy piano melodrama, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Blue Öyster Cult’s soap-operatic scare piece, “Joan Crawford.” News items and digressions include Sebastian Bach berating a fan for wanting a hug and the dangers of stage-side clinginess.

The boys swap authority for ax lessons, awkwardly air-shred through heartland hokum, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of John Cougar Mellencamp’s 1983 instructional anthem, “Play Guitar.” News items and digressions include a Korn concert cautionary tale, public indecency in the pit, and why some fans should never go hands-free.

The boys chug cheap beer in Babalouie’s, get drunk on sleazy psychobilly surf riffs, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Cramps’ raunchy rockabilly riot, “Let’s Get Fucked Up.” News items and digressions include Sammy Hagar’s paranormal tequila visions and David Lee Roth’s ghost-shaming stand-up routine.

The boys struggle with the logistics of headbanging in a papal robe, hum along to hymns of heresy, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ghost’s incense-scented singalong, “Ritual.” News items and digressions include Megadeth’s impending retirement and Dave Mustaine’s complicated legacy.

The boys chug through impossible time signatures, nearly dislocate a hip trying to headbang in 13/16, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Meshuggah’s 2008 polyrhythmic endurance test, “Bleed.” News items and digressions include Yondr bags, Ghost, Tool, Iron Maiden, and whether locking up your phone is the new mosh pit etiquette.

The boys peel off their filthy lab coats, put down their timeworn scalpels, and take a break from their usual autopsy table shenanigans to review Paul Stanley’s ‘78 solo album. It’s episode four of a four-part deep-dive into KISS’ unprecedented simultaneous solo releases.

The boys trip through sugarless enlightenment, cut calories with Canadian harmonies, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Guess Who’s oddly nutritious FM staple, “No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature.” News items and digressions include copious cups of black coffee and Ozzy-inspired burritos.

The boys (minus one) snort ants off the sidewalk of time, mumble incoherently through a haze of historic heavy metal, and pay tribute to the immortal, occasionally intelligible, prince of prime-time darkness—Ozzy Osbourne.

The boys order up a side of toxic masculinity with a dusting of 70s orchestral schmaltz, wonder if Neil Young just needed a Roomba, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of his domestically challenged ballad, “A Man Needs a Maid.” News items and digressions include Jane’s Addiction lawsuits and multitasking Moms.