Rock that Relationship!

Maybe this episode should be called, “Why Do I Keep Getting Dogs? The Things We Do to Stay Stuck.” In this episode, Corey and Tracy share their thoughts and ideas about how changing your circumstances and/or your mindset can help you get unstuck. Hear about Corey’s new strategies for grading and Tracy’s journey away from wanting to chew her arm off and run when she feels trapped. Both talk about the power of seeking clarity and the importance of manifesting the feelings you want as ways to productively transition out of stuckness. If you are feeling stuck or have ever felt that way, this episode is for you!

Show Notes:

Attachment Styles-Learn more about attachment styles – how they are formed and how they might impact your relationships.

Bethany Nicole-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog), Apologies I Never Got!

Tune in for an amazing conversation with our good friend, Twyla, about her divorce experience – the good advice she got, the bad advice she didn’t take, and how she managed to get through the process, coming out the other side as a better person. She shares about her philosophy of being fair and just, not fighting over pots and pans, the value of therapy, and having divorce-free space. Twyla and Corey bond over the triggering nature of Christmas decorations, and she and Tracy connect around the idea of a pet custody agreement, perhaps because Tracy admits her longest relationship was with her border collie. This episode is chalk full of info on asking for help, drawing boundaries, navigating alone time, and overcoming fear.

Show Notes:

Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show.

Listen as Corey, Tracy, and transition life coach, Ellen Rothstein, talk all about handling life’s changes, particularly divorce. The conversation covers a lot of ground . . . from keeping your eye on the prize, self-care, and healthy comfort to finding connection and fostering familiar routines. Ellen shares about the role of intuition and her Identify-Prioritize-Implement (I-P-I) method for dealing with transition, while Corey talks about profound moments with deer and Tracy compares bed bugs to divorce. You won’t want to miss this fascinating conversation about strategies to emotionally and tactically work through life’s transitions!

Show Notes:

The Poisonwood Bible-Pick up a copy of Barbara Kingsolver’s New York Time’s Bestseller about a family’s mission trip to Belgian Congo.

Manifestation Babe Podcast-Listen to this amazing podcast about manifesting your dreams with Kathrin Zenkina.

One Tree Hill-Check out one of Corey’s favorite teen dramas.

Wild-Watch this Reese Witherspoon film about a woman’s journey to find herself while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.

Ellen Rothstein-Connect at [email protected], Ellen Rothstein Coaching on LinkedIn, or go to ellenrothstein.com.

Tune in for our interview with Judith Kaluzny, retired lawyer and mediator turned writer, for an insightful conversation about the impact of divorce and how to avoid the calamities that can occur through the process – on both partners and children. She shares fascinating statistics about the growing nature of mediation, the lack of logic in having to pass quizzes for every type of license except a marriage license, and what people might not understand about marriage that can impact them later during a divorce. She and Tracy both emphasize the importance of a pre-marriage agreement and how the way you deed your house with your partner can come back to haunt you, whereas Corey chimes in with her ideal partnership involving living next door in a duplex!

Show Notes:

Safe and Sane Divorce Project-Learn more about this “non-adversary task-oriented divorce process.”

Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show.

Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution-Check out this New York Times Bestseller by Cat Bohannon that recaps the evolution of the female body.

Center for Judicial Excellence-Find out more about this nonprofit whose mission is to protect domestic violence and child abuse survivors.

National Center for State Courts-Tap into the plethora of resources provided for families.

Judith Kaluzny-Head over to judithkaluzny.com for resources on getting divorced.

Marriage License Handbook-Pick up a copy of Judith Kaluzny’s guide to understanding the legal ins and outs of marriage.

Tune in as Tracy shares her perspective on conflict negotiation from a legal lens and Corey shares hers from an emotional intelligence lens . . . all to say much of the same thing! Hear them discuss the importance of knowing your goals, being honest, letting go of your ego, showing your cards to the right people, searching for an optimal solution for all parties, and simply being kind. And, if you want to know how Corey ended up buying a used car she couldn’t drive or what Tracy’s view on oscillating fans is, you won’t want to miss this!

Show Notes:

Attachment Styles-Learn more about attachment styles – how they are formed and how they might impact your relationships.

Ever heard of Baby Einstein, Inside Out, or Mom’s House, Dad’s House? Join us for a fascinating discussion about all of this and more with psychotherapist, Donna C. Moss, who specializes in working with kids and teens of divorce. We discuss the notion of the parentalized child, and Donna emphasizes the importance of buying a pair of shoes for each household, not nesting, maintaining consistency, and getting kids connected to therapy so as to not “lock up” their feelings and instead assert their agency. Both Corey and Tracy have a lot to share about their personal experiences, particularly Tracy’s haphazard approach to life and Corey’s assertion she came out of the womb with a to-do list. In the end, they all agree it’s important to pay great attention to children’s thoughts, feelings, and reactions during the divorce process and get any help or support you can for them as they move through their own journeys, contending with the monumental changes that divorce brings.

Show Notes:

Baby Einstein-Learn more about this brand of children’s interactive learning products, many of which incorporate classical music.

Children's Bill of Rights in Divorce-Read this list of rights asserted by children experiencing divorce.

Internal Family Systems Therapy-Learn more about this type of therapy that helps people explore different wounded parts of their personality.

Anger Wheel-Check out this book for kids called Sophia’s Anger Wheel of Choice to help children explore their feelings around anger.

Feeling Wheel-Want to go deeper in your emotional exploration and find the words that describe exactly how you are feeling? Use the Feeling Wheel to get there!

Mom’s House, Dad’s House-Check out this book with tools, resources, checklists, and more to help kids through divorce.

The Co-Parenting Toolkit-Find out more about best practices in co-parenting.

Inside Out-Check out this animated movie about how a young girl navigates her emotions after moving.

Donna C. Moss-Learn more about Donna and her self-paced course for parents and therapists working with teens.

Check out our discussion with Modern Law founder and family law attorney, Billie Tarascio, where we explore everything from finding the right lawyer to emotionally processing the divorce, and making it through survival mode to the helpful or hurtful role of well-intentioned third-parties. Tracy chimes in with how her fear of doing her taxes is a perfect analogy for the frozen state some find themselves in when anticipating divorce, whereas Corey shares how having the goal of parents sitting next to each other at the school play can help center the child in divorce decision-making. If you are contemplating divorce or are curious about it from a lawyer’s point of view, you won’t want to miss this episode!

Show Notes:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs-Learn about Abraham Maslow’s theory of human motivation and needs.

Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show.

House of Sand and Fog-Check out this New York Times Bestseller by Andre Dubus III.

Modern Law-Find out more about Billie Tarascio and Modern Law.

Navigator-Learn about Modern Law’s online group for people who need more wraparound support or are doing divorce themselves. The nominal monthly fee includes office hours with lawyers and law students, videos, mental health events, opportunities to discuss strategy, and more.

Tune in for this amazing conversation with attorney, mediator, and intuition coach, Jen Mitchell Love, where we talk about moving into more holistic, healthy, and transformative ways to divorce. While Tracy finds kinship in Jen’s approach, Corey finds solace in her messages. Whatever you might be seeking, you will find guidance in Jen’s words on transforming soul contracts, lineage healing, gratitude, and how to divorce with love. And, for a bonus, learn more about the (platonic) soul contract between Corey and Tracy.

Show Notes:

The Reality of Truth-Tune in to this documentary about spirituality and psychedelic drugs. Please note, however, that Rock That Relationship! does not endorse or recommend the use of any mind-altering substances. Please work with your healthcare provider or therapist to make these important decisions.

Liquid Bloom-Check out this collection of rhythms and soundscapes for healing, meditation, and enjoyment.

Gaia-This website is a collection of articles, series, movies, documentaries, and other resources aligned to achieve a higher consciousness.

Jen Mitchell Love-Learn more about her and Solace Divorce Mediation, where she offers mediation services, a master class on divorce, and several resources to help couples who have opted to part ways.

Shine, Soul, Shine-Check out Jen’s 30-day guide on finding your light.

"Unlock Your Soul's Path: Divorce with Love Master Class for Healing and Empowerment" Class by Jen Mitchell-Take the Master Class and get 20% with the coupon code: RockThatRelationship20!

It’s hard to prepare for divorce – the emotions, the logistics, the legalities. There is a lot to balance. Deciding between a DIY amicable split, a mediator, a lawyer . . . telling friends and family . . . getting your affairs in order . . . and getting emotional support can all be overwhelming. Listen in as Tracy shares her thoughts on balancing these competing roles, and Corey chimes in with how emotional it can be to divide assets that have meaning, like signing over the title to the car. They both agree that it’s important to separate the emotional and legal aspects of divorce, move quickly, strive for amicability when possible, and try to maintain no-contact while going through legal proceedings. Most importantly, they discuss what they have learned from their separations – that ending a relationship is not about failure, but instead about seeking happiness, that there is no shame in telling others, and that neither of them will ever share a Netflix account with a partner again.

Show Notes:

Conscious Uncoupling-Read more about Katherine Woodward Thomas and the power of conscious uncoupling.

Raging from Within: De-Escalating Angry People-Learn more from author, Susan Magestro, about how to de-escalate conflict situations.

Suze Orman-Find out more about “this one woman financial-advice power house.”

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs-Learn about Abraham Maslow’s theory of human motivation and needs.

Heartbreak, the Roller Coaster, Mending, Letting Go, and Moving On . . . these are the stages of divorce, according to psychotherapist, Oona Metz. Tune in for a conversation chalk full of great insight, like the power of prediction, letting go of the narrative, traumatic divorces, and how support groups can help people feel connected, validated, and accountable for their healing. Find out what Tracy means when she says, “Don’t fight the hypo,” or what Corey is talking about with the trigger of not trimming the tree. If you are looking for how to work through the stages of divorce and if a support group is right for you, then this is the episode to tune into!

Show Notes:

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross-Find out about the original 5 Stages of Grief®, which informed Oona Metz’s 5 Stages of Divorce.

Club Lilles-Learn more about this group originally designed for Late in Life Lesbians, which has now grown to include all women-identified people.

Tennessee Success Sequence Act-Read the law about Tennessee teaching students that marriage and children are part of the sequence of life success.

Oona Metz-Connect on Instagram at OonaMetz or on the web at oonametz.com. Stay tuned for her book, Unhitched!