Rock that Relationship!

What’s the secret to thriving relationships? Corey and Tracy have no idea, but Alain de Botton does, and we spend time bantering about his highly-watched talk from The School of Life! Author and speaker on the topic of romanticism, Botton shares how we are taught to believe in perfection, finding the right one, intuitive love, communication without words, brutal honesty, and the notion that practical life should just come naturally . . . although he readily points out that poets and authors in the 18th and 19th centuries writing on romanticism didn’t seem to talk about whose turn it was to do laundry. Tune in as Corey and Tracy discuss Botton’s ideas for thriving relationships, including providing a list of our flaws on the first date, the role of patience and not yanking the garage door off the track, as Corey says, avoiding mind reading, and forgiveness, which Tracy embraces quite handily. Both agree, though, that to thrive in a relationship, both parties must do their own work and thrive as individuals.

Show Notes:

Alain de Botton on Romanticism-Join the millions who have watched Botton’s talk on romanticism.

8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner.

Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show.

Daddio-Watch Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson in a film about a conversation between a taxi driver and passenger on relationships.

The Breakup-Check out this classic rom-com with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

Tune in as Corey and Tracy talk about a variety of strategies to help couples communicate effectively across differences and difficulties. Hear their views on becoming too invested in other people’s choices, assessing somatic responses, identifying and challenging assumptions, empathy, and boundary setting. But, their discussion isn’t just about what one might do or say WHILE in discussion about an issue; it’s also about the conversation before the conversation – reiterating the relationship goals, laying out guidelines, and setting intentions. And, they agree that if each person is a willing partner whose primary goal is to have a healthy, productive and loving relationship, then approaching these situations with great intention can result in just that.

Show Notes:

Heather Browne-As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy. She is a TedX and keynote speaker, has published in hundreds of journals, has an active TikTok channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine, Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today. She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops!

Ladder of Inference-Learn about why people “jump to conclusions” without the facts and data and how to slow that process down to come to more accurate conclusions.

Feeling Wheel-Want to go deeper in your emotional exploration and find the words that describe exactly how you are feeling? Use the Feeling Wheel to get there!

Appreciative Inquiry-Learn more about this philosophy, which involves leveraging strengths to find purpose.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People-Check out this book by Steven Covey where he offers insight on principles for successful living.

To Be Magnetic-Check out the Expanded podcast for information about manifestation.

Join in for an amazing behind-the-scenes conversation with Jordan Whitley from the Amazon Prime show, Tampa Baes. Jordan, along with several other women, starred in this reality series which follows a group of friends navigating the lesbian scene in Tampa/St. Petersburg. Listen as Jordan shares about balancing her long-distance relationship while filming, keeping her private life private, and what she learned about herself and how she shows up in relationships from her television experience. Corey and Jordan exchange thoughts on the familiarity effect, where fans feel like they know celebrities because they saw them on TV or heard them on a podcast. And, Tracy and Jordan both discuss overcorrecting in relationships. This is an amazing conversation you won’t want to miss.

Show Notes:

Follow Tampa Baes on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tampabaesshow/?hl=en

Tampa Baes-Learn more about the show and watch the trailer. Then, check out the series on Amazon Prime.

Season 4 Episode 10-Tune in for our conversation with Xander Boger, reality star from The Ultimatum: Queer Love. Watch a trailer for the show and then head on over to Netflix to binge the entire series.

Jordan Whitley

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayy_whit

Don’t get into a relationship until you are healed from the last! Everyone’s heard that advice, but Antonio and Miguel just didn’t take it. Not too long after they both left toxic relationships, they met . . . at a RuPaul-inspired drag show. And, it was clear that they wanted to be together. But, they were each still working on their own healing. Instead of pushing that process aside to start “fresh,” they decided to go through their processes openly while simultaneously starting a new relationship with each other. Join us as we talk with them about their “healing together” process as well as how they help each other work through trauma triggers and red flags that come up in their own relationship. Learn about the feeling wheel, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, communication, and wellness wheel, and how they have embraced those in order to have a healthy, honest, and loving relationship. Corey pipes in with the notion that we are never quite done healing, so in essence, with every new partner, we are healing together. Let’s just call it out and do it transparently. Tracy discusses how parental trauma often cannot be forgotten, and that the trauma we carry is from more than just exes. This powerful episode will leave you thinking about the profound connection that can be developed in healing together.

Show Notes:

Relationship Renovation-Learn all about Tucson’s very own relationship counseling center where Corey and Tracy met Antonio.

RuPaul’s Drag Race-Check out this reality show, where contestants compete to be “America’s Best Drag Superstar.”

But, I’m a Cheerleader-Tune in to this 1999 movie about teens at a gay conversion therapy camp.

Feeling Wheel-Want to go deeper in your emotional exploration and find the words that describe exactly how you are feeling? Use the Feeling Wheel to get there!

SMART Goals-Find out more about SMART goals and how to write them.

Wellness Wheel-Learn about the 8 dimensions of wellness and see how balanced you are.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy-Watch this TV series about five gay men who give fashion advice to straight men.

A Million Miles Away-Check out this movie about Jose Hernandez who went from farm worker to astronaut.

Bethany Nicole-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog),Apologies I Never Got!

Web: https://www.bethanynicole.com

Twitter: @Best2BBethany

Feel Good Fitness-Find out more about Antonio’s fitness classes!

Tucson Clean and Beautiful-Learn more about this nonprofit organization dedicated to environmental conservation and education.

Youth On Their Own-Find out more about how this organization helps homeless youth earn an education.

Check out our amazing discussion with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, clinical psychologist and accredited GSRD therapist, as we discuss a multitude of topics around open relationships. Lori Beth walks us through the differences between polyamory, consensual nonmonogamy, and “dating around.” Her insight provides a lot of guidance in what to do if one partner in a monogamous relationship wants to open it up – including how to communicate better, set agreements, and how to contend with jealousy. She explains how personal work around insecurities, trust, and communication, along with working with a trained therapist or coach, can be critical in forging a successful open relationship. While Corey just asks a lot of questions, as this is new territory for her, and Tracy talks about how she is absolutely 100 percent monogamous, they both help keep the conversation lively.

Show Notes:

The Ashley Madison Affair-Tune in to watch this docuseries on Ashley Madison, an “infidelity dating website for married people.”

Lori Beth Bisbey

Web: loribethbisbey.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbisbey

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@loribethuk

Open House: The New Sex Experiment Show-Learn more about this UK reality show with couples who explore opening relationships, with Dr. Lori Beth!

Check out our heartfelt and vulnerable conversation with couple, Nic and Heidi, as they share their coming out journeys and differences in parental support. Nic discusses how her once liberal-minded “hippie” parents took an ideological turn and how that impacted her coming out and relationship with them, while Heidi talks about having an opposite experience with her conservative Christian parents who have embraced her and even Nic. What is it like for them to navigate their relationship while both experiencing vast differences in acceptance and support from their parents? Tune in to learn more about how their communication, honesty, and vulnerability allows Nic, for instance, to ask Heidi to “sit in the mess with me.” And, she does. Also, if you want to know about why you should never talk bad about Tracy’s grandma or how Corey’s mom confronted her about being gay while in a moving vehicle, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!

Show Notes:

Mormon No More-Tune in to this Hulu miniseries about two lesbians who leave their heterosexual marriages and the Mormon church to find love together.

How does illness impact relationships? Tune in for this insightful episode with Dr. Jackie Black, marriage educator and board-certified coach for couples, who talks us through the feelings, dynamics, and actions couples often take after finding out one partner is sick. She shares about the value of open-hearted vulnerable communication, showing up as our authentic selves, making sure the care partner tends to their needs, dealing with the grief of the loss of what the relationship was, and balancing hope and resignation. Corey shares about coping with her mom’s death, while Tracy talks about what it’s like to be there for others during a time of loss. As usual, their differences are evident, though. If you aren’t sure, listen in for their lively discussion on the spiral notebook. All in all, Dr. Jackie reminds us that while we can’t prepare for the emotions we may feel if this situation arises, we can have the “end of life” conversations with our loved ones well before so that by the time something might occur, we can focus on being there for the other person rather than trying to decipher logistical details.

Show Notes:

Sue Klebold-Learn more about a mom’s journey in losing her son during Columbine and how the grief impacted her and her husband.

Dr. Jackie Black

Web: drjackieblack.com

Email: [email protected]

Listen as we chat with Charity, a late to lez, 49 year-old, looking for someone to fuel her desire to feel “alive,” and Holly, a 35 year-old Gold Star lesbian, who came out at 17, residing five and a half hours away. Tune in as they discuss setting relationship goals, challenging naysayers (although, they have had a lot of support from loved ones), communicating through a variety of methods, and offering “pre-emptive” wedding vows that offer reassurance. Don’t miss Corey’s take on the importance of having seen the movie, St. Elmo’s Fire, and Tracy’s experience with “beards” in college. All in all, this is an episode that will inspire anyone looking for love, as Charity says, “to take the lid off the box.”

Show Notes:

8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner.

Hold Me Tight-Check out Sue Johnson’s book about the seven critical conversations anyone in new relationships must have.

Elmo’s Fire-Watch this coming-of-age movie about a group of post-college graduates navigating adulthood.

Lesbian Journeys-Find out more about Charity’s lesbian events group on Facebook.

Listen as we chat with mindset and empowerment coach and founder of Club Lilles, Jaime Messina, as she talks about experiences, perspectives, and issues related to later in life lesbians. Jaime shares about her Facebook group of more than 8000 aimed to bring together “high vibe” people in the Sapphic community. She discusses why some women come out later in life, the risks and rewards of doing so, and the long-term impact of “compulsory heterosexuality.” Listen as Tracy shares about her past fear of lesbians at basketball games and Corey’s fifth grade roller-skating boyfriend, both precursors to their coming out. And, while neither Corey nor Tracy identify as later in life lesbians, they were both eager to learn and find ways to be more supportive of the challenges facing this group.

Show Notes:

If These Walls Could Talk 2-Watch this series that follows three lesbian couples from different decades, up against societal obstacles.

Cruising Podcast-Tune in to hear stories of the last-remaining lesbian bars in America.

Compulsory Heterosexuality-Learn more about this phenomenon, which can be defined as “a system that forces queer people to conform to the expectations of heterosexual, cisnormative society and pursue heterosexual relationships.”

The Four Agreements-Pick up a copy of don Miguel Ruiz’s book that shines a light on self-limiting beliefs.

Jaime Messina

Web: jaimecoaches.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaimemessina/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jaimemessina

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jaimemmessina/

Club Lilles

Web: clublilles.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/lilles/

Tune in for a lively conversation all about politics with Shannon Watson, the Executive Director of Majority in the Middle. Our discussion ranges from media bias to psychological safety and Ashley Madison to cancel culture. Listen as Shannon offers her own thoughts and personal experience around managing relationships across political differences as well as ideas for how to meet in the middle, passively disagree, and find commonalities. Tracy adds in her thoughts on micro and macro aggressions and Corey talks about navigating social media when your “friends” post memes and content that is counter to your beliefs. In the end, Shannon sums it up with, despite your disagreement, “Is it more important to be right(eous) or in relationship?”

Show Notes:

Gallup-Find out more about American’s political ideologies.

Generation Z-Learn more about Gen Z’s thoughts on politics

#MeToo-Learn more about this “survivor-led movement against sexual violence.”

Starts With Us-Check out information on this movement about ending polarizing politics in the United States.

The Ashley Madison Affair-Tune in to watch this docuseries on Ashley Madison, an “infidelity dating website for married people.”

Braver Angels-Learn more about this cross-partisan organization aimed at bridging the partisan divide.

Shannon Watson

Web: majoritymiddle.com