Roleplay Retcon

In the finale of our remake of Cocktail (1988), some of the employees are chased by their pasts and some are agonizing about the present. Is a future of love and happiness even possible? Some say The Newest House knows... Can you guess who likes who before we do?

Content Warnings: Sexual content

We're remaking Cocktail (1988), an early entry in Tom Cruise's career that's bad in a funny way, but could still use a little jazz(?)ing up. We're playing an original game based on our guest Superdillin's Spin the Bottle, which uses the classic party game as a resolution mechanic.

The Newest House restaurant and bar in New York City has a reputation for having a heart of its own and being a magical matchmaker for the people who work there. But that's just a fun local superstition... right?

Content Warnings: Sexual content, mentions of war, mention of suicide

We're rubbing ointment on our tired muscles as we recap the victories and losses of our season, how they stack up to the original movie, and what we thought of Play Ball!, the game we powered our remake with. Stick around to the end to find out what's next!

The prisoners are ahead going into the second half, but the warden has dirty tricks yet pulled, Portman is still sabotaging the team for a taste of Maple Syrup and a pardon, Cornflake is butting heads with him, and Bocepherous's demoralization has left the defense in shambles...

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence, allusions to substance abuse

As the game thunders on, Cornflake's and Portman's selfish agendas clash, and even Bocepherous's pure heart may not be enough to fix things.

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence

We're taking a quick break from The Longest Yard with the audio from a livestreamed game of FLOPS, the TTRPG we're currently Kickstarter-ing! We remade last year's Madame Web, which may be the most unintentionally funny of the Spiderman-Minus-Spiderman Cinematic Universe movies. Kendo Smith from our Pluto Nash series joins us!

Content warnings: Violence, death, spiders

It's finally the day of the Big Game, and the bonds that bind these baller boys begin to bend. Bocepherous runs it in. Portman phones it in. Cornflake digs it in.

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence

Cornflake's shady past is now public knowledge and his social stock has plummeted. To get back on the team's good side and convince Portman that he's in mortal danger, he resolves to get proof of the Warden's dark plans from his office.

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence

Everything's going great! Pizza party! Bocepherous nails an interception. Cornflake calls a timeout. Portman plays defense.

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence

The team has its first practice, and one thing becomes clear to Coach Burt: They're gonna have to cheat. Bocepherous finds a moral loophole. Cornflake meets the prison's biggest shipper. Portman gives a disjointed speech.

Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, sexual content