Terrible Person

Ryan Murphy's Lady Lawyers Pt 2


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How does a conversation start with oyster crackers meant for soup and end up as a full-scale debate about celebrity hotness rankings, fast food dessert scams, and why every online platform eventually turns into a magnet for predators. It opens with hunger logic and snack crimes, the kind that turn a couch into a crumb scene and a Sunday afternoon into a running argument about who forgets grocery staples, who drops food everywhere, and what counts as a normal amount of crackers to inhale just to “absorb the acid.”

Somewhere in the middle, a rhinestone-covered gingerbread house that lights up becomes a serious creative project, complete with battery paranoia and a very specific fear of doing hours of work for a total Christmas Vacation-style failure. Then it pivots hard into celebrity attraction math. Leonardo DiCaprio eras, Brad Pitt timelines, Ryan Reynolds falloff, Joaquin Phoenix face debates, and the sudden rage sparked by people rebranding their own names. It slides into pop culture side quests like It’s Always Sunny seasons that feel like a punishment, the celebrity business industrial complex, and the idea that making makeup, tequila, or supplements is the safest way to stay famous without ever risking a new album.

The internet segment gets darker fast. A lawsuit over a kids game being used for grooming, the memory of AOL-style chat room “asl” moments, and how easy it was to think you were talking to a teenager when it was probably a grown man. It jumps to viral headlines that feel fake but are real, including a hotel worker washing stained sheets in a hot tub while guests are still in it, plus the bleak realization that a lot of “safe” spaces are only safe until someone figures out how to exploit them.

Food comes roaring back at the end with Taco Bell’s Baja Blast pie hype, the rage of app-only menu items that never exist at your location, and the familiar corporate trick of going viral just to get people in the door. It closes where it began, with petty domestic chaos turned into a full argument archive, crumbs, orzo everywhere, and “Gary” and “Selena” treating minor messes like evidence in a case that will never be dismissed.
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Terrible PersonBy Terrible Person

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